Never Give Up HOPE

screenshot--credit_Yuang Xu

The Love that Strengthens and Never Fails

With the help of the precious and Holy Spirit, I put together a little heartfelt package to inspire, encourage and help others, God willing. It reflects where I’ve been spiritually, fighting hard – alone with Jesus. It is good to have a friend or two who understand, but Jesus is the friend we ALL need. He never wearies or tires of us…unless we are ungrateful complainers or worse.

Even then, He will draw us to steer us toward repentance so that He can forgive us. However, He never forces anyone, and He will not contend forever.

When darkness surrounds the soul, there is a silent knowing that other brethren are going through the same thing. It doesn’t need to be spoken, but it does help to talk things out. Sometimes everyone needs comfort, needs to be heard, needs to be understood.

We are in a real war, and the enemy is relentless. His fury is immeasurable; his hatred is bloodthirsty and insatiable. Yet, we have an Advocate who has overcome the enemy and has overcome the world [Jn 16:33] We all long for the days that this spiritual warfare with Satan/Lucifer and his legions is finally over. Christ is the Victor.

We are one ‘Body’ in Christ Jesus/Yeshua, who is the Head. The Body cannot exist or live without the Head – how beautiful and wise are the ways of the Lord.

A Raging Battle

I was looking for a song, one of the old-fashioned hymns, like the Old Rugged Cross, or It Is Well (With My Soul). There was a need to worship the Lord through music, and to focus upon Him. I wanted my heart to be grateful, not wallowing in self-pity. Amazing Grace popped up, a classic. However, just before I clicked on the familiar original version, an extended title caught my eye. “Amazing Grace Fell Like Rain” – intriguing.

I searched out the title and lyrics on Google, and in truth, I could easily have echoed the words for what I have been struggling with these past several months. How many times does one go through a dark night of the soul. I reckon it depends on the soul, depends on the number of times a tragedy in life has struck, or a spiritual crisis has taken place. It depends on several factors.

Now for a true confession. Depression is something I have fought for a long time, off and on throughout my life, but now there is Jesus. My Saviour makes all things bearable. I can run to Him with all my cares, concerns, hurts, frustrations, anger – everything.

The garment of praise is worn for the spirit of heaviness, yet like a trustworthy boomerang, and for reasons unknown, depression returns. Praise Jesus for His patience, understanding, and for being a solid Rock.

Despite the heaviness, there truly is a deep peace and an untouchable inner joy knowing Jesus and abiding in Him, clinging to Him like healthy grapes cling to a strong vine. He truly is an unexplainable strength, wholly reliable. He is our hope, our strong tower, our shield. He is everything good, pure and holy.

The name of the Lord [Adonai] is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and is safe. [Prov 18:10]

The lyrics that will be posted further below summed up a fair chunk of what has been going on within me, deep below the surface (or perhaps, not so deep), behind the sometimes-pasted smile and sometimes forced lighthearted-sounding words. I must say that I am extremely grateful to have a good friend in the flesh…two good friends, sisters in Christ.

Yet in the Spirit, Jesus is the best friend of anyone who will draw close and abide in Him (be one in Him, and He will be one in you), just as Jesus/Yeshua was in the Father, and Abba (the Father) was in Christ Jesus.

We Must Learn to Trust

Jesus is LORD Of the battle

When we pass through turbulent waters that churn up waves of hopelessness, or stand in the fiery furnace of the world's most heated troubles presented by vicious tyrants, we can be confident that the same Lord God [Adonai] who assured us that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever [Heb 13:8] promises never to leave us. He stays very close to us, even when He is silent.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you: when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon you. [Is 43:2] KJV

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path. [Prov 3:5, 6]

The flesh will remain imperfect until the day we are changed (all born-again, Spirit-filled believers), in the twinkling of the eye, on the day of resurrection or the rapture, whichever the Lord chooses.

The best thing I ever did was to finally surrender, wholly and gladly! Commitment was not surrender, but I did not differentiate for some time. I had to learn. Surrender would be the best move anyone, including you, can make.

If you already have, bravo! Whether I want to or not, I will let you down. Others will let you down (disappoint/fail), and you will let others down too. It is all part of the fallen, carnal nature. Even when we do not intend to ever let anyone down, it does happen in this life. It is the human factor. Yet, with great confidence I can assure you that Jesus (Yeshua) will never let you down.

Guaranteed there will be times in this life that stuff happens and we do not get why God has allowed it, why He did not stop it… especially when we know He surely could have. He is God after all. We read the Word and we think we understand and know God. Yet when something happens in our life that tears us apart, or that we do not want to happen, more often than not, we cry out, “Why?! Why didn’t You do something? Why did You allow this? What kind of loving God allows this?”

We might wonder what we did to deserve this punishment. Surely it must be punishment for something, or else it just seems cruel. It might ‘feel’ like Yahweh is displeased with us and that is why the tragedy happened. We try to rationalize, try to make sense out of tragedy or calamity.

We will search the heart for sin, any sin, all sin. He must be punishing us. Why else must we suffer this pain (whether external (physical), internal (mental, emotional, spiritual), or both).

Why else are some of us unable to walk, or some unable to move, or others still unable to see, or hear. Why else did this marriage fall apart? Why else did this person get sick, or that person die, or, or, or…? We may accuse Jesus/God of being unfair, unjust, or worse – unloving.

We may ask Him to bring a certain person back and to take us, but God does not roll that way. El Shaddai, God Almighty – Yahweh – He is good and His mercy endures forever. The day will come when we will understand, but perhaps not now.

Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return to the Lord [Adonai], and He will have mercy upon him; and to our God [Yahweh], for He will abundantly pardon.

For My thoughts are not our thoughts; neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. [Is 55:8]

Perhaps you have not had anything happen to you in life that would bring you to that desperate, frustrated, and perhaps even momentarily angry point in time with your Creator, the true living God that you have loved and served.

Guard your healthy fear of the Lord. Respect that He is GOD, and there is no other. He is the true, living God and He always has a remnant, always. Ask forgiveness if your emotions caused you to be rude, disrespectful, or a complainer and grumbler. Turn away from bitterness; destroy any bitter root.

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ [2Cor 10:5]

Sweet Surrender

Jesus IS merciful. When we repent with godly sorrow, He will forgive and not bring it back up to remembrance. [Micah 7:19] As people, we tend to ‘forgive’, but we do not forget. It is true that some things are hard to forget. We were given a memory for a reason.

I have heard people say they ‘forgive’ someone who did a great trespass against them, but if their name comes up, their countenance appears angry. Neither do their words align with how they look.

If one still has any animosity at all toward the person, the forgiveness is in their head but not their heart. Jesus told us to forgive seventy times seven, which means we will tire of counting long before we arrive 490 times. Either that, or we will lose track.

Animosity: it come from the Latin word ‘animus’, meaning spirit, mind, or high passion; a strong feeling of dislike or hatred: ill will or resentment tending toward active hostility: an antagonistic attitude – synonyms: bitterness, enmity, bad blood, hostility SOURCE: Merriam-Webster

Hatred in the heart is as a murderer in the heart. [1Jn 3:15] Let it go, and truly trust God to take care of things, in His way, and in His timing. That can be most difficult, especially when it comes to serious violations, I know. But our faith and our heart will be tried. This life is temporal. All will have to stand before a holy and just God.

We may learn ‘why’ further up the road, or we may not learn why until we meet Jesus in heaven. Will anything on earth seem important once we leave these earthen vessels, and leave the only ‘home’ (earth) that we have ever known?

Jesus can be trusted to do what is best for us in the long-run. That is where trust must stand. And remember, it only takes faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains (of trouble). God is the God of the impossible.

These are not just ear-tickling, fluffy expressions to give false hope. They are the core, the foundation that establishes REAL hope faith through Jesus the Christ.

Now for the lyrics to the song.

Amazing Grace Fell Like Rain

by Mikhail Bennett, Rose Bennett, Christian Grace

I was carrying a thousand worries like stones inside my chest

Smiling through the pain of living, but my soul could find no rest

I had wandered through the silence, far from who I used to be

Then a quiet voice in darkness said, “My child, come back to Me.”

And when the night felt endless, I felt mercy hold my hand.

 

Amazing grace fell like rain on the driest parts of me

When my heart forgot its purpose, You still saw what I could be

Amazing grace gave me peace, when my world was torn apart

And the love I could not find here, You planted in my heart

 

There were battles no one noticed hidden deep behind my smile

I was losing faith in tomorrow, walking empty mile by mile

But You never stopped pursuing even when I turned away

Through the sorrow and confusion, You were lighting up my way

When I thought the road was over, heaven whispered through my pain

 

Amazing grace fell like rain on the driest parts of me

When my heart forgot its purpose, You still saw what I could be

Amazing grace gave me peace when my world was torn apart

And the love I could not find her, You planted in my heart

 

You were there inside the silence; You were there inside the storm

When I thought that I was broken, You were making something more

Not perfection, not religion, just a love that set me free

And the mercy I was chasing was already chasing me

 

Amazing grace lead me home when these tired eyes finally see

That the peace I searched forever was You walking next to me

Was You walking next to me

Amazing grace, You never stopped loving me

Never stopped loving me…

Never stopped loving me…

(Released July 2026) – AI-generated

I shared some things I do not typically share [depression], but there are others who suffer silently too. Thanks in part to the prosperity gospel, there are those who believe that a Christian is not meant to be depressed, not meant to have any sickness, not meant to live at poverty level, not ever question their faith or any other critical question.

That is not realistic. The prosperity gospel, in part, is responsible. The enemies of the cross plant their seeds of deception as well. But we serve the most incredible God. There are no adequate words to describe either Jesus or the Sovereign, Providential Yahweh.

For a couple of decades, I have tried to describe Him, but this writer has not been successful in it [smiles – I am in good company, I hear].  He is dependable, and always has a listening ear.

Dark Night of the Soul

That being said, I recently went through what has been named from centuries ago as a “dark night of the soul”. It is surely not the first time, but I pray it is the last. This dark night is a time when a war-weary soul hits a dark period, completely exhausted – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually – from life’s battles, which are at times daily.

The struggles deep within are confusing and painful, a time that one goes through very much alone (more often than not), feeling abandoned by a world void of understanding or compassion. It is a time that a mask might go on, one that convinces observers that everything is okay. We may share events or things that are happening with a trusted friend, but keep the turmoil churning inside to ourselves.

PASS the TEST

We want people to know God is good, and He definitely is, but we may be struggling with hopelessness and misunderstanding of the Lord’s ways, which is devastating to our spirit. We want to appear strong, but feel the weakest we have ever felt.

We do not want to be a hypocrite, but at the same time, we do not want to complain, or worse yet, we do not want to trip others up, and discourage them. So, we carry the burden alone, not knowing what to say to our precious Lord.

People believe you are strong, when inside you feel so weak. As a Christian, one wants to show few, if any, can see past what is usually expressed as anger, or stress, or busyness…or even depression. Few see it as the crisis it is, where the soul is experiencing a type of dismantling, a deep emotional pain, a disconnect from the world, from others, and – even from God.

We might feel crazy with the mixture of emotions and pretending to be stronger than we are, but we are not crazy…at least, we hope we are not. What it does mean is that we are going through a purging. Things that are not of God are being exposed and the dross is surfacing.

Growing pains are a reality. It is not a physical pain, but it is a very deep, harsh pain. Our faith is being tested. It is being tried more than it ever has been before. I have spoken in the past about Job, and Abraham, and Moses, and Joseph.

 Faith Will Be Tested

I posted a scripture that helps us to remember that Jus as a Samurai sword is tested before it is used in battle, so our faith is tried (tested) to see if we will stand, and having done all…to stand.

He sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a servant: Whose feet they hurt with fetters: he was laid in iron: Until the time that his word (promise) came: the word of the LORD (Adonai/Yahweh) tried (tested) him. [Ps 105:17-19]

Many give up at this point. I know I almost did. Not on Jesus, not on God, but on any hope of glorifying Him, or doing something that will please Him, or the promises I believe to come to fruition, or even staying strong to the end.

Help me, Lord. I can’t take any more. Why, why must I go through this? What have I done? Why won’t it end? Surely I am being punished for something and I don’t know what. I know I have attitude sometimes; or a curse word slips out. I hate when my mouth shames me.

I am surrounded by those who cuss. I grew up with it, spoke it, ahh Lord, help me to be what You want me to be. Help me to make it to the end. I love You Lord. You ARE good. You have done so much for me. (And the tears fall…endlessly. Save me from myself, Lord.)

The pain is daily, unable to walk far. Stairs are a killer. I imprison myself, rarely going out because four stairs bring great pain. Lord, I know others suffer so much more, but I can’t compare myself to others, Lord. I can’t… But like Paul, I do things I do not want to do, and do not do the things I should.

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  [Rom 7:15-18] ESV (English Standard Version)

Fight the Good Fight

It’s a dark night where it is hard to see anything clearly. A wondering of purpose, an aloneness, a sense that no one understands, a horribly lonely feeling. It is a type of inner breakdown, a deep searching of the soul – a painful purging.

When a person is in that dark night, they deal with thoughts and feelings of guilt, shame, fear, and yes, anger. It is not meant to be a time of destruction, but a time for new beginnings, new strength, new wisdom, new growth…no matter the age.

A loving parent longs to help their child when if they even suspect their child is going through a dark night of the soul. But it is like the butterfly struggling to come out of the cocoon. If the butterfly is helped, or if someone peels open the chrysalis early, the limbs can be torn or become deformed.

When the butterfly breaks free, it has to hang upside down immediately. It is so their little heart can pump fluid into the wings so they will expand. If someone handles the butterfly as soon as it comes out, they could cause it to die because without hanging upside down the wings will dry and harden. The wings will dry and shrivel up; it will never fly and it will die.

When a person comes out of a dark night of the soul, they may feel disoriented slightly (like things are upside down), but it is for our own good. That is usually when God is quiet…and some may think He does not care, or for others, that He is not real. But He does care, and He is real.

I sent this to each of my children (now grown adults), and said to them:

I believe you can relate to this song. As your mother, I want you to know I love you deeply, ever since the moment you came out of my womb and I first laid eyes upon you, and held you in my arms. You have become a fine person – each one of you, different, yet one of you, such a gift to me (a gift undeserved, but grateful I am)

I made so many mistakes; I did my best with no backup. Its too bad because I believed in God/Jesus all my life, but didn’t really have a solid relationship with Him. When I lost all of you in 1994 that time that I was in the hospital for a month, after a night of abuse with your father, I turned to Jesus – but with the wrong motive. I didn’t turn to Him to repent of my sins, but so that I could get my children back.

He is so patient, so good, He never forces Himself on us. He wants people to come willingly. He’s amazing…

May this song minister to you as it did me

The “names” attached as the writers and singers of the song are fictitious AI characters. They are not real people. And the video that someone put together is totally AI-generated. Then they put it on YouTube (and probably TikTok, Facebook or whatever).

AI characters and AI videos totally annoy me. I just do not like them, but I like this song.

Be much blessed, my child. I love you for always, I love you forever; as long as I’m living, my baby you will be. (heart)

Amazing Grace Fell Like Rain (Mikhail Bennett YT Channel)

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusted in You. Trust in the Lord forever: for in the Lord Jehovah (Yhvh) is everlasting strength: [Is 26:4] KJV

for His glory alone

Bonita                        dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com

War in Air-Witchcraft in Fog-I Beckon You

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed
on Him, "If you continue in My Word, then are
you My disciples indeed; And you shall know
the truth, and the truth
shall make you free. [Jn 8:31-32]

[Note:* Updated Dec 14, 2025: Added more info about pastor Zac Poonen, a man I already respect. My memory was jolted watching a video recently. I also recalled a few videos of his that I watched in the long-ago past. I do remember his sincerity (and the way he shot straight from the hip). 

I recall him as a likeable and good teacher. However, not being committed (let alone surrendered to Jesus/Yeshua), I was easily distracted by other things and different teachers (some being false or worse), yet it also included being distracted from other true ones anointed by God as well].

The part about 'respect' will explain itself as I present the means by which this humble man has always lovingly supported himself and his beloved family, and what he is satisfied to take as work and wages. More of his personal info (wife and family) is added.

I also updated info that was outdated. This preacher sticks to the true gospel of Jesus Christ [Yeshua Mashiach]. Zac Poonen acts without exploit or coercion. You will not witness deception, manipulation of the gospel or scriptures taken out of context. 

You will not hear false prophecies such as those heard by the certain false prophets within NAR,  the prosperity gospel, the New Age and New Thought movements. Nor does not pastor Zac compromise or manipulate scripture for the sake of financial self-gain or popularity, such as the prosperity preachers and the teachers, and false prophets of NAR. 

Instead, if you watch videos of his sermons, or interviews, and Bible studies, or read articles anywhere from mere days or to decades apart, all throughout you will see actions (and hear testimonies), or read words that consistently exalts Christ Jesus (focus is on Him throughout), and reflects integrity and love. You will hear truth and notice his respect for family, friends, congregation, neighbours, and strangers. (End of update) - BP]                        

Salvation paid for with Christ's blood.
Died, was buried, and resurrected.
He is soon returning! Day and hour not known
- Jesus told people what signs to look for...
[1Cor15:3-4;Mat 24:27,30,36]

There is no rush anymore on my part to try and keep up with others. I used to put unnecessary pressure upon myself with the time it took separating fact from fiction, with research, and with organizing material because when it took too long, the thought was that I was letting the Lord and people down by not keeping up in this digital age. That is why I say, 'unnecessary' pressure.

Also, mainstream media [MSM] not always, but quite often, misleadingly dubs LIES as 'misinformation' and  'disinformation', in order to hide truth, (therefore, separating lies from truth), while at the same time mixing it in with actual 'dis' and 'mis' information. BULL-oney baffles brains!

I temporarily accepted the lie that I had to keep up, or risk disappointing the Lord (and readers). The adversary (Satan) often speaks in the first person, meaning he injects thoughts or sentences into our mind that we are absolutely positive that they are our own thoughts, but it is trickery. The devil is the instigator, whose agenda is to take our minds off of Christ. 

Yes, deception can be that subtle. When we believe anything, even if it is only for a short time, then we were temporarily deceived. No one likes to admit that they fell for something that was not true. Pride is subtle also.

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. [2Cor 10:5]

Thank Jesus for sending the Holy Spirit. It is Him and His leading who I can thank  for getting me back on track. He is worthy of full credit and acknowledgement. How many times over these past almost two decades on this blog (17 years - 2008) have I encouraged brethren that our work together is not a competition, it is team effort? We need each other, and we all need Jesus Christ.

It is working together harmoniously to achieve a goal (namely, to further the kingdom of God) with Jesus/Yeshua's help via the Holy Spirit. In truth, I just came through a bit of a spiritual slump, but praise God with a thankful heart, for good and true friends (who also happen to be brethren). It is worth being held accountable. It really a good thing!

Friends who not only pray, but also take time out of a busy, sometimes hectic schedule to send an encouraging email, with choice scriptures, are a gift from God and a treasure to protect. I love the Word of God.

No matter how many times we may read through the Bible, it is so rich that the right scripture at the right time [when our spirit needs uplifting and strengthening the most], the Word is so perfect in accomplishing its purpose that it truly is the wisdom and foresight of El Shaddai alone.

So shall My Word be that goes forth out of My mouth: it shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. [Is 55:11]

(Just like the timing of God), when coming out of that slump, an email was received with a link that led to a video with a solid teaching of Pastor Zac Poonen. I fully intend to listen to more of his lessons and sermons. I remember now that years ago (perhaps 20?), a friend at that time had sent me a link to a video that first introduced me to Zac Poonen, which, back then, I found most uplifting. 

I did not follow up with brother Zac at that time (and I am convinced he is a brother-in-Christ), as I was not well-settled in the Lord back then. I have believed in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit the majority of my life. 

However, I am now wholly surrendered, and being fully surrendered really makes a big difference. I have moments, naturally, where I have to beat that old flesh back down into submission; we are to daily nail it to the spiritual cross. 

The difference is because the fruit that comes [in time] with full surrender is [spiritual] maturity, increased discernment (which comes from familiarity with the Word, as well as our experiences), but also wisdom that is learned through trials and tribulations. 

If we were church hurt by abusive leaders, or suffered consequences due to false doctrines, we gain a stronger and deeper appreciation of good, solid teachers. 

Wisdom and the Holy Spirit help us to give up our 'independence' and lean wholly on the Lord like healthy grapes that cling to a healthy branch/vine (Jesus is the Vine). More exposure to wolves in sheep's clothing, false teachers, false prophets, and hypocritical Christians (like hard taskmasters, like the Pharisees), help and train us as well as teach us secure that appreciation. 

When our heart is intent on seeking truth (always starting with Jesus because He IS truth), I believe the Lord protects and guides us by His precious and Holy Spirit. Time is running short, and good teachers have been hard to find. All of us have watched with heavy hearts as the revealing of sin in the churches has been uncovered. Yet it is a good thing; the Lord is cleaning house. 

For the time is come that judgment begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? [1Pet4:17]

I don't think most of us realized the depth of hypocrisy and deception that had crept into the church through false brethren, demons, and other infiltrators until the Lord began revealing that which has been hidden, just as He promised.

Zac and Annie Poonen
1968 wedding

Zac is 86 years old, formerly an Indian Naval Officer. He lives in Bangalore, India with his wife of 56 [almost 57] years. According to a quick search, he has been a Christian for 56 years. [Correction: almost 60 years; converted in 1966] 

Zac Poonen and his beloved wife Annie are the parents of four sons, who are now adults with families of their own. Their sons are: Sanjay, Santosh, Sandeep, and Sunil. They are all born-again, Holy Spirit-filled Christians, and so are their wives.

The children and grandchildren are all believers as well. they all follow in the footsteps of Zac and Annie and attend the Christian Fellowship Church. How wonderful when the faith continues on throughout the family down the generations. Glory be to God!

He is apostle over New Covenant Christian Fellowship. Before anyone judges him on 'apostleship', he is not pretending to be as the original twelve who walked with Jesus/Yeshua the Messiah. Nor is he in the role described by prosperity teaching or NAR.

The original twelve (12) that Yeshua chose were presentative of the 12 tribes of Israel, but they were also appointed to train, to be witnesses for Jesus' ministry, and to go out [into all the world] to preach the good news (the gospel of Jesus Christ). They were to deliver possessed and oppressed people from demons, heal the sick, and for salvation (to bring them into the kingdom of God through faith in Jesus the Christ/Yeshua the Messiah).

Zac Poonen (from his biography) began serving the Lord (as stated, nearly 60 years ago), after he finished serving as an Indian Naval Officer. He is responsible for numerous churches globally. He is the preacher, as well as one of the elders [from a plurality] at the New Covenant Christian Fellowship in Bangalore. 

He has written several articles extensively, and is also the author of 25 books, all of which are written not only in Indian, but  also in English and other foreign languages. 

He has not received royalties from any of his books that are published by Christian Fellowship Centre. All of Zac Poonen's materials [sermons and interviews] are available freely on YouTube and at https://cfcindia.com .ALL of his written work is available not only at the website (link) but at other various outlets, all of which is distributed at no charge.

Brother Poonen is a tentmaker by trade [just like the apostle Paul] He takes no salary for his services. As an elder Zac accepts no remuneration whatsoever for his work, and neither do any of the other elders at the church. 

and because he [Aquila] was of the same craft, he abode with them, and worked: for by their occupation they were tentmakers. [Acts 18:4]

This is what I was referring to when I said Zac has my utmost respect. I marvel at the fact that he takes no money for ministering as a preacher, and takes no royalties from his books, when countless others are monetizing everything they do online these days. What Zac Poonen does is a rarity.

I am very grateful to the Holy Spirit who promises to set us on the path that leads us to solid teachers, who glorify Jesus/Yeshua, and exalt El Shaddai (Adonai) on high. At the same time, He will lead us to the place where we will discern, and learn to discern, the false ones. 

We know the Lord will give those who have gone astray an opportunity to repent and turn back to Him. He keeps a watchful eye. He knows the heart. People can deceive others; and sadly, sometimes we can deceive ourselves, but that is usually if we are trying to burn both ends of a candle (compromise). 

We may fool others, but we cannot fool God! Let me be perfectly clear here. I most certainly would never put anyone on a pedestal and cause them to undergo the undeserved humiliation of being some kind of idol. 

I will not fall into the trap of idolatry again (there was a time shamefully I did). Thank God for opening my eyes to my sin, but even more so, for the opportunity to repent, and for forgiveness. It was long ago, but sin is sin.

Neither would I put brother Zac Poonen under the pressure of living up to some kind of ridiculous manmade 'high standard'. No one, no teacher, no pastor--no one person is perfect, andto  but we allow ourselves to be taught SOLID doctrine, not doctrine of demons, or lukewarm, whitewashed gospel messages.

Then, we share -- we share to help a brother, a sister - and glorify our King, our Jesus. Before I move on to the quick message I plan to post, I would like to share a couple of nuggets, courtesy of preacher Zac. Allow Jesus to providentially answer your prayers. He will. 

First Nugget

God's Word is a real treasure
purified gold

For sin shall not have dominion over you: for you are not under the law, but under grace. [Rom 6:14]

Brother Poonen said it took him 56 years of struggling as a Christian before he discovered a simple secret. And that's just it. If we can just allow ourselves to be taught by others, instead of thinking we have to have all the answers, this walk can be so much easier. Pride can be so subtle.

Zac said that for most of his Christian walk he carried a heavy burden. To cut to the quick and to put it simply, he read the above scripture as a command rather than a promise.

Here is the difference, as he explained it. [I hope I can do it justice; he explained it so eloquently] Brother Poonen said that most often we tend to depend more upon our flesh more than on the Holy Spirit. 

Sin "should not be" master over you - is how most of us read the above scripture. Zac admitted that that is how he himself read it all those times, for all those years. It was a verse Zac struggled with because "should not be master" caused him to put it in the perspective of a "command". 

Bro Zac continues: "But when we read it as "sin shall not be" master over you - it is a promise - a promise of God!"  "Do you see the difference?" he asked. Lightbulbs turned on in my head too, but for a different reason. I will explain shortly. 

When the scripture [Rom 6:14] is read as a 'command', it is a heavy burden one must carry. It is something that we, as a person, have to do. That was the point that Bro Poonen was emphasizing.

However, when we receive it as a promise, it is something that God says HE will do for us. It is saying that God is not abandoning His sheep to any hardship the scripture (or the devil) may put on us through misunderstanding. He removes the burden. Grace, it is the grace of God when it goes from a command to a promise.

Now I will explain. (This is part of the update added to this article because I did not think of it originally, but I thought it should be included.) It was understood how Zac Poonen's interpreted the verse, and the lesson he gleaned from it through the power of the Holy Spirit.

It was then that his sharing the scripture with others struck me as wisdom and motivated me to further share his keen insight here, in case someone else was struck with the same problem, which can very likely happen indeed.

We are not under the LAW; we are under grace. Zac says the meaning of 'law' means that we are going to try and overcome sin by our own struggle...a never-ending, wearisome struggle (heavy laden).

Heads up? Oh no, umm, I am just
hanging out...

A heavy burden lifted in the light of differentiating between a 'command' and a 'promise'; the law versus grace. Jesus did indeed set us free, on so many levels. Praise be to God!

Whether it is in the translation, I do not know because the KJV (King James Version) Bible is written in old English, which may be the reason it caused Brother Poonen to understand the scripture as he did. I personally did not struggle with the verse that way, but that is likely because English is my first language.

If others struggle, then his explanation would be wonderfully helpful. For that reason, I chose to publish it here. even if it can set even one soul free, then, mission accomplished, all to the glory of God, and thanks to Zac Poonen.

Come unto Me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. [Mat 11:28]

Just as Jesus/Yeshua promised. He gives us rest. One thing we gained in the Garden of Eden (along with a fallen nature) is our "independence". We can do it, we say!

We do not need someone else when we can manage something just fine on our own. Right? Or can we? If God pulls the rug out from under us (pulls the carpet of pride we float around on, high above everything else like some kind of a magic carpet, over the heads of people below us...oh, oh!) 

Pull that rug out from under us and see how independent we are. lol (I jest, but it is not always funny  which I can attest to that as well.)

But we are under GRACE; then 'grace' is going to help us overcome sin. That does not mean we compromise or slip in and out of sin at will (greasy grace). God forbid! 

He says, so if you are weary and heavy laden (sick and tired of being defeated and wondering why), the Lord invites us to come to Him. This teacher, Zac Poonen explains it splendidly. Hopefully that helps someone else if they are struggling the way it helped him.

The pastor stated that he had discovered throughout the years that there are only a certain category of people who really enter into the Spirit-filled life of overcoming. And not only overcoming, but empowerment for service. He insisted that it is open to everyone, to all of us, but not everyone enters in.

He said most Christians never enter into it, even before they die, which saddened him. It is an hour long video, which I have not watched in full. Nevertheless, if you would like to hear him explain how to lessen this struggle, he speaks far more eloquently than I do. The lesson is contained within the first 10-15 minutes if you would like to check it out. Under Grace Zac Poonen (struggled for 56 years, then discovered a secret) 

Be a Zero 

One other quick nugget, from the same teacher (Zac Poonen). It has to do with being nothing. Sounds depressing, hey? lol 

He made a list of things important to people, things high up in life to them. They are: 

wealth,[0] beauty,[0] position,[0] personality,[0] education,[0] sports,[0] intellect[0] 

Whatever you strive for, whatever is important to you, people put great value on those things, some material, and other things being what they are strong in. Many believe they are the most qualified and desire to lead.

This going to be the Reader's Digest [condensed] version.

Bro Zac said, "No! We need to become zeros."

He reminds us that a zero is nothing. It is absolutely of no value. No matter how many you put together, no matter how strong it looks when they are all huddled together, a whole group of zeroes is still that - zero.

They are of no value or worth UNLESS something GREATER than a zero is put in front of it. Only when something greater is placed BEFORE the zero, or comes FIRST, only then does the zero have value. 

Therefore we have to become zeroes, and something GREATER than us has to come FIRST. Jesus has to be first. The whole bunch of us zeroes becomes something of exponential value and worth when Jesus is placed BEFORE us!

When we become zeros, and put Christ Jesus (Messiah Yeshua) first, then we have value; our worth increases. Without Him, we can do nothing [nothing of eternal worth and value]. With Him, we are valuable, refined as silver is refined, and purified as gold is purified.

I am the vine, you are the branches: He that abides in Me, and I in Him, the same brings forth much fruit: for without Me, you can do nothing. [Jn 15:5]

I thought that was another nugget of gold from brother Zac Poonen and wanted to share it with people.

I Beckon You

 This word was posted back in 2022. I am led to post it now.                      

I pray it blesses you.

I beckon you – I am calling, come deeper. I am doing a good work in you; for I am the Potter. My vessels of honour are being prepared, as all things align to My will. Those who heed My call are the ones who will do My will. Great shall be the reward. Selah

The season of consequences has ended; it has been served in full. The hour of silent suffering comes to an end. All these years I have encouraged you by reminding you that one day is as a thousand years to Me, and that My timing is not as yours.

Now the appointed time arrives. Yet as little children, My people are impatient. Let all unfold decently and in order, for all My promises are true. Come deeper and stay in the presence of My glory for a while, and the peace and power to wait will be your portion, as I give it freely to those who trust and wait upon Me.

Come to Me and I will answer you in ways that you would not expect, but will know it is from Me.

Behold you among the heathen, and regard, and wonder marvellously: for I will work a work in your days, which you will not believe, though it be told you. [Hab 1:5] NKJV

https://crossinthewilderness.blogspot.com/2022/12/deep-calls-unto-deep.html

And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear Him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovah Jireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the LORD it shall be seen. [Gen 22:14]

And Moses built an altar, and called the name of it, Jehovah Nissi: For he said, Because the LORD has sworn that the Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation.  [Ex 17:15,16]

Immanuel – Emmanuel

Isaiah 9 (garments rolled in blood – [vs 6] unto a child is born, Wonderful, Counselor, the mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace

My people, trouble comes from within the country, controlled by the 'greater' outside the nation. The harlotry and witchcraft of those who hide in darkness, who hide in secret, has not gone unnoticed by Me

for His glory alone

Bonita                       dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com

His Grace Sees Us Thru Every Hardship

(NOTE*: Updated May 8, 2025 - BP) 

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just
and will forgive us our sins and
purify us from all unrighteousness. [1Jn 1:9]

GRACE - amazing grace of our wise Creator

It would be a real shame to take it for granted...

I posted an article twelve (12) years ago that contained both truth and deception. It was an oversight. My heart ached when I saw it four days ago. It was during a time that I did not realize I was still serving out the consequences of a sin from  29 years earlier, when I rebelled (not realizing that is what I was doing), and chose idolatry - chose a man over Jesus.

What were the consequences? I will explain more fully in another article, but for now, let me say this. Take a look at King David. Did he not go through a season of consequences after sinning? He did - yet we think "that was different; I'm not him"... Our confidence rises, especially if we did not do what David did. There was ONE area -- ONE area that deception had to serve out its time -- all because of a choice I made.

Is that why I did not fully "see" when I allowed the prosperity gospel teaching on the radio (although the prosperity part was not taught or mentioned). Is that why apostles and prophets were mentioned in the "To the Weary" article?

I do have an article prepared, but it's needs more organizing, editing and prayer - particularly the latter. Prayer. I just couldn't get to it. This article has been getting down later at night when everyone is asleep, and no one texts or calls, or knocks on the door. No strange aches or pains or oddities happening in my body...

-- for this I give God the glory...

He makes the storm a CALM, so that the waves thereof are still. [Ps 107:29]

When a post is popular, the increase in traffic to it is recorded by ‘Blogger’ or ‘Blogspot’ (this website, owned by Google). The article I speak of is called, To The Weary, posted July 14, 2012.

An address to it was quickly written a day or two after I noticed it on my blog [four days ago]; however, my plan was to follow that up with an important, more in-depth article. The distractions and hindrances that I have had to confront ever since I began writing an explanation AND correction have been unbelievable – surreal.

The opposing forces were so recognizable that I realized it was spiritual, yet even so, it got to the point where I thought I had lost my sanity. I am one person and this last battle has been long, with mere days here and there as reprieve. Thank God for my beloved friends and brethren that literally “held up my spiritual arms”, and allowed the Lord to fight the battle.

click any picture to enlarge

A fiery dart was aimed and hit my Achille's heel [direct hit in the weak areas]. The enemy was hitting all my areas of sensitivity (aka weak spots), and he was using my treasured family members to bring me to my wit’s end. Pain in the body also increased. 

It seemed like one thing would be addressed, leave, and something else would pop up. For example, I awoke one morning to what felt like a broken wrist. The pain was surreal.

So sudden and so strong was the pain that I even went to a walk-in clinic, who sent me elsewhere for an X-ray. Naturally, this happened on a Saturday, so the walk-in clinic closed early (before the X-ray results were back).

NOT my X-ray - 
this is an example only

Yet even come Monday morning, no word from the doctor. I had wrapped the wrist in a tensor bandage (my son and daughter took turns wrapping it). To cut to the quick, it took a week of calling around, asking if I could find out if it was a sprain, a hairline fracture, or what, because something was wrong.

Finally, on the seventh or eighth day after the X-ray, the pharmacist got a hold of the doctor and I received a doctor’s phone call, who told me it was osteoarthritis. No warning signs, just sudden pain like a broken bone? I asked.

Apparently yes, it happens sometimes; mine is severe. I could barely believe it, but these are the kind of “hindrances” and distractions I speak of. Ever since I prayed about healing, I would constantly run into articles, scriptures, videos, etc. about healing. I believe Jesus has been showing me so that I would not doubt or walk in unbelief, because the reality is that not everyone receives healing.

We all know that. None of us can explain why. Yes, children of light understand about faith and unbelief, but nothing irks me more than people who look at those who are suffering and say, "you just have to have enough faith".

Tell that to a newborn, or a seven-year old child with a terminal illness. We do NOT have all the answers, nor all the explanations. The prosperity preachers are notorious for talking about "faith". I have heard some pound it home about faith, then obviously they have done some reading, and will backtrack - suddenly admitting not everyone is healed...but (and smooth, people-pleasing talk follows). 

Some have removed videos that reveal their double-speak, but suffice it to say, God has heard them. Jesus is working with them -- but we must call out wolves. Trouble is, many sheep love wolves because they cannot see past the fake "sheep clothing". I will leave it there for now.

Yes, we have to run things by the Lord. He will let us know. I believe that. He revealed Himself to Stephen, so that the saint knew he was going to die. He saw Jesus/Yeshua by the side of the Father's throne.

Peter knew he would be crucified; Paul knew he would not see certain people again because his time had come. God will lead us by His Spirit. That being said, I personally believe the Lord has been showing me that my healing is coming (and NOT just mine). 

Ever hear of miracles? Grace? Mercy?

God of wonders -- wonder of God

Hallelujah! He is moving across this world...He IS moving! Yes, great trouble is coming, but let God be God. Sovereignty - providence - benevolence.

I know I heard that I have need of patience, but the promise will come. [I did acknowledge the Lord, knowing He was right...then (without thinking, like a doofus...I asked, "how long do I have to wait, Lord?")

Ack... sigh...yes, I have need of patience...

However, there are also those who are struggling with some unbelief that are around me, but they "hope for the best" without 'saying what they think'. They want to believe. May God help us all!

It is okay because such are the skirmishes and battles one faces in spiritual warfare. Satan has made a mess by entangling the truth of God's Word with false doctrines. I trust the Lord - I pray for strength to endure until the appointed time. Just as those who have gone before me have had to wait...they stood strong even when everything appeared as the exact opposite.

The prosperity gospel is one false doctrine that Satan used and USES to mess up the healing of God's people. All these things have been thrown against me by the enemy. He has used my loved ones, as well as strangers.

WHO will hold His own [people] steady? WHO gives His own [people] strength? 

Jesus (Yeshua) -- How? How does Messiah do it when we are flesh and He is not [flesh] at this time in history? Well, in case some forgot (and for others)  who do not yet know, Jesus came in the flesh. 

And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld His [Jesus/Yeshua] glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father), full of grace and truth. [Jn 1:14]

He DID come in the flesh when He had His ministry for three years upon the earth, and He comes in the flesh when we believe and receive Him by faith, when we are born-again. He instructs us to abide in Him as He abides in us. 

I typically use the imagery of grapes clinging to a healthy, nurturing  vine. Jesus is the Vine, we are the grapes. We cling to Him for He said: 

I AM the way, the truth, and the LIFE; no on come to the Father but by [through] Me. [Jn 14:6]  (emphasis mine)

Jesus promised the disciples that He would ask the Father to send a Helper (after Jesus was resurrected from the dead and then ascended into heaven to sit on the right-hand side of the Father). The "Helper/Comforter" is the Holy Spirit. He will teach and guide us into all truth, and tell us what He hears, and what is yet to come. [Jn16:13]

Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, said the Lord of hosts. [Zech 4:6]

When I began looking up phone numbers for counsellors, it was not easy. There seemed to be few who are Christian. Was there not any ‘free counseling’? In days gone by, a pastor might take time out of his schedule to help a hurting, confused sheep, but where are they now?

Even those who work on a sliding scale begin at a rather high percentage per hour. Yes, I know …”the labourer is worthy of his wage.” [1Tim 5:18] “[…] …worthy of his hire.” [Lk 10:7] So it is written, so it is true.

Ah Lord –  looks like You are stuck with me. Since I now need a walker and a cane, I have not been attending a church physically. I listen to sermons and services for shut-ins online, and I am not the only one. It is difficult for me to sit, stand, or walk for long periods of time.

 I can only go by the guidance of the Lord, not by the opinions of people. We all have an opinion, and the funny thing is how often we change our opinions (self included). It all depends on the information we have on hand, and what develops.

Counselors. Yet with all the variances and diverse beliefs, especially ones that stray from the true gospel, how do I find a counselor of like mind? I searched and tried – dead end. Finances and availability…

If any were available but who had different beliefs, and I refused to go as a result, would I be a hypocrite? Did I not just repent from posting and endorsing a false doctrine, in fact, a doctrine that led me astray when I put it into practice a long time ago; one that taught me a hard lesson?

I would be a hypocrite if I said I repented but then took up counseling with someone who represented a church that taught false doctrines, or who practiced those teachings themselves. 

The problem with false doctrines is that they do contain truth, which confuses people, especially new believers or people who do not know their bibles or walk close to God. But they turn people away from the true Christ and the true gospel.

It was said once: “False teaching is like food laced with poison. It is 98% good food and 2% poison, and it is the 2% that kills.” Back in the late 90s, someone brought over an 8-track (must have taken that old thing out of the back of the Flintstone-car they drove [dinosaur days] lol). 

It was a tape with Kent Hovind, a young Earth creationist. It is the only thing I remember from the video. I was not saved yet, and it was the only tape I saw. That was just shy of thirty (30) years ago.

I have an article written about the prosperity gospel, and what I posted left some things flapping in the wind. For example, the friend (acquaintance) that drove me back over the border into Canada is a woman I liked very much. She has a prophetic gifting, but I did not hear any of her prophetic words.

I never called her a prophetess but she has advertised (in posters) herself with that title, and her husband as an apostle. I do not remember her discussing it with me, but I will say that I remember Tish (Latshia) as a kind, warm-hearted person who did not pull any punches.

Being a straight-shooter myself, I respected that quality in her personality. How deep she was or is into the prosperity gospel I do not know. She believed in decreeing and declaring things, that is for sure. Seed-faith and the rest, I do not know. As stated, we were more acquaintances than friends. Our commonality was our love for Jesus the Christ.

But I do thank the Lord for bringing her across my path because she did help me by driving me over the US/Canada border when I was returning to Canada September 17, 2014. Her offer to drive me was an exponential help. 

It was wonderful the way I was given the “go-ahead” at the border when I was so concerned. Deep within the Lord had placed a quiet word that I would make it back over – not to fear. I fought fear – it had been almost seven years I was in the US.

“Years?” the border patrol guard laughed as he repeated my answer to his question. “How long were you in the States, ma’m? Do you have anything to declare?” I answered, “Years…likely everything I have has to be declared as bought in the States.”

Peace Bridge - US/Canada border

When he realized I was serious, he laughed again. (NOT the reaction I was expecting.) We had prayed before we got in the car. The Lord must have assigned an angel to be at the border crossing.

I not only got across the border; I was waved through like I was royalty. What a high! On the other hand, Tish had a hard time getting back over because she brought her little boy (he was young, maybe four or five), but his ID [identification] was in a little folder and it had dropped somewhere.

What a horrific feeling! Tish was beside herself trying to find it, and of course, the border patrol likely had their doubts. But praise God, eventually she was able to find it and return home. The trip took me much longer than expected (three and a half days longer). When I arrived in BC, I had $21 to my name.

It cost $20 exactly to get me to a homeless shelter, where I ended up staying for four months, sick the whole time with pneumonia. Well, at least I could say that I arrived with cash in my pocket – even if it was only $1.00.

The “up side” is that I had exactly what I needed to arrive at my destination from the States. Once I arrived, I had food and shelter and a dollar. I began the process of renewing my driver’s license, and other documentation that I needed to begin life again in my home country.

The shelter kept cell phones in lockup, but gave them to people when they went outside the shelter. I did not go out much, barely at all, since I was sick. Twice I ended up in the hospital. When I did go out, it was to the Internet Café to look up housing.

BC was so expensive and the available housing was minimal. I managed to speak with Tish a couple of times, but weeks and months passed. Eventually, as acquaintances, we lost touch. We have not heard from each other for over a decade now.

I will always be grateful to Latshia (Tish) for her kind act of taking me over the border. I also slept on her couch for a few hours (not sure exactly how long) – I was exhausted because I barely slept in 36 hours. She fed me a spaghetti dinner before taking me to the bus depot to begin the long hike across Canada (a 6-day journey from Niagara Falls to Kelowna, BC).

I accidentally purchased a ticket for a Greyhound Courier Express bus, meaning they doubled as couriers for mail and parcel delivery, which meant stopping in nearly every little town along the way, rural areas {called a postbus).

I did not know, but I reckon it is because before I purchased the ticket, I had asked if they had any “specials” for going across Canada. I was going from Atlanta, Georgia to Buffalo, New York. My friend took me from Buffalo NY, US/Canada border crossing from Niagara Falls [Peace Bridge]. Hallelujah, I made it back safely!

May the Lord bless and keep the Smith family, guiding them into all truth, for their sake, but for the glory of Jesus.

Whether it was the little contact from me during my stay in the shelter, or whether we were only meant to cross paths for a short time, I will not know until heaven.  I will always remember Tish as a fine person, with a loving husband and father, and children – a beautiful family – I am ever grateful to both of them, a team for sure.

They opened up their home to me, a Christian, yet still, practically a stranger, and even so…they truly blessed me with a warm and sincere welcome. Very nice people…Lord bless the entire family, in the name above all names.

A Message

March 22, 2025

Wait upon Me and I answer. You have need of patience. I spoke to you, and humbly you received it. Now you sense within, the time has come. It is the season. Listen carefully as I lead. The corruption goes deep.

Many innocent ones are ensnared if they look away momentarily, for the enemies of the cross are moving swiftly these days. You are witnessing the wisdom of the false ones whose first concern are their riches.

They concern themselves with what people are saying about them, instead of coming to Me with their concerns. They love the admiration of the people who reward them with loyalty, flattery and plenty of gifts, both monetary and material gain.

Trust Me in all that is coming.

Trust Me with it all. Yes, I AM protecting all of you. It is your season. Your time to blossom is nearly here. Health and wealth are not something to fear. However, be wise. These things are not to be idolized, and sadly, [these things] truthfully, are not for all.

 Remember this world is not your home. Stay instant in prayer. Forgive friends All the things that concern you will be addressed. Vengeance is Mine. Pray for mercy for those who come against (who came and come against), and I will show mercy. Seventy times seven keeps your heart in a pure place.

There was no intention to post this, but I am led to. This prophetic message comes from "To the Weary" - July 17, 2013

How heavy is your heart, My child, for the battle has been hard and long. Hold fast to Me, for awhile longer and you shall see the victory. The time of sealing, the test of endurance belongs to the remnant who are Mine and shall endure to the end, coming through victoriously, having been well-trained by previous tests and tribulations, having been purged and purified, in the fires and through the waters. 

Yea, hold fast to Me, for I AM your refuge and your strong tower.  Yea, the cross is heavy when it is being carried, and excruciatingly hard to the flesh to stay upon, dying to self and all that is in the world.

Yet only after death can My resurrection power go forth to raise you up to a place where the enemy cannot touch you. Healing and restoration are in My hand. Look up, look up for your redemption draws nigh. 

Chaos and destruction are coming upon mankind and the world, yet I AM the one who shall create the new when all is said and done. 

Keep on your armor; pray without ceasing, abide in Me and do that which I ask of you to do. (*Note* 0bedience is the word that came to mind as I wrote this, and keeping a repentant heart. BP

Great blessing is about to fall upon My obedient children; but great judgment also is falling upon all nations and all peoples of the earth. Yes, and the wrath of the devil, the prince of this world is coming, but he has nothing on Me.                                    

His wrath has been loosed for a time, yea, but he knows that his time is short. [Rev 12:12] Look to Me and abide, for I AM your strength, your wisdom, your discernment, your all in all.  

My peace I give you, not as the world gives, but the peace I give passes all understanding. [Phil 4:7] Let not your heart be troubled [Jn 14:1]; neither be afraid.

[End Message] To The Weary,

for His glory alone

Bonita                          dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com