(MORE WAS ADDED January 3, 2025)
NOTE: This article has been updated as there were some minuscule (not so minuscule upon updating) errors in this post that needed to be addressed. Spelling, grammatical errors,
unfinished sentences, and other minor issues (not so minor because more info has been added) that may have interrupted reading pleasure.
*Correction*: I have added more material to what was originally posted a couple of days ago. Updating was necessary: editing and (in parts) a more informative narrative was added on January 3, 2025
Your understanding has been appreciated - BP)
It IS About Jesus AND “You”!
Readers will soon notice that portions of my testimony
will be sprinkled randomly throughout these writings. A person typically needs to mention ‘themselves’ whenever testimonies or eyewitness
accounts are given, even when the intent is to glorify Jesus,
as He so richly deserves.
When people say, “It’s not about you”, are they
including testimonies? Is that an ambiguous statement? I do not know how anyone
leaves themselves out of their testimony?
Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you do not receive our testimony. [witness] [Jn 3:11]
For years, I have heard those words spoken repetitively by so many that they have become cliché. They have almost lost their original intent and value and instead become annoying. I know I am not the only one weary of hearing them. Are the words spoken by the “righteous” or “religious”?
One will parrot another, then the next one hears the words,
flies with them, and so forth, traveling speedily along some invisible
communication line. I cannot fathom Yeshua/Jesus, any apostles, or ancient
prophets mentioning or even saying those words to the multitudes.
Who knows where it started but it is now global, thanks
to the internet, podcasts, news feeds with multiple articles and videos, articles
(uh huh), social media outlets, and public events. It is repeated by various
age groups in nearly every area and in all walks of life, not just in religious
circles.
I can hear it now. “Yes, I would like to share my
testimony with you, friends, but due to a lack of interest, neither “you” or “I”
will be in it. There will be a lot of blank spots or empty spaces but hopefully
you can somehow connect the dots together from what is mentioned.” lol
Can you imagine? There has to be a “you” in an eyewitness
account; in a testimony…somewhere, anywhere. That was what I call a stress-reliever,
friends, a tension-breaker. Worth the smile that every one of us needs.
All joking aside, let us move forward.
Sometimes the same people who remark, “it’s not about
you” are also heard to say how much they enjoy hearing the testimonies of
others. To hear others share their stories is something I myself delight in hearing
because it helps me to know the Creator, our Saviour better.
Eyewitness accounts expand and deepen my understanding of
God’s character and His unique and creative ways. With His personal involvement
and agape love in each solitary, intimate relationship, Yahweh has the unparalleled
ability to make each individual feel like an only child [special/treasured].
When we speak about and reveal the sinfulness and impurity of our own pathetic fallen nature, the holiness and radiance of God shine forth. As long as we are in these bodies of flesh and blood, we are stuck with the 'inherited' fallen nature (inherited from Adam, which he took ownership of in the 'fall of mankind' from our original, created, glorified state we enjoyed before Adam disobeyed and sinned).
It is my hope, desire and prayer that others will be helped if they have been (or are) experiencing unbelievable pressure, confusion, an ‘overkill’ of activities for the past while, unparalleled resistance in the spiritual and at times, in the physical, as well as an overall weariness. We all need encouragement at various times throughout our life - even those we consider the most confident and the strongest.
I have been hearing about weariness for a few years now –
and the Lord has mentioned how weary His people are in past
messages some years back. I have said that I believe what people are
experiencing now in the way of weariness is a precursor to what the
prophet Daniel forewarned about when he was foretelling about one who will
arise and speak against the Most High and wear down the saints of
the Most High. [Dan 7:25]
Each Battle More Challenging
These past five months have been an overwhelming time of
activity, nonstop – and not just for me. Others, including my son (who
believes in Jesus, but committed? I do not know for sure) have also
mentioned the strangest time where everything is hindered, disrupted, interrupted,
or delayed.
Even if I wanted to turn something down or postpone a
matter, I could not. It has been absolutely incredulous. It can (and has) involved
family, friends, or others [neighbours] close to me, or even strangers.
Nearly everything has seemingly been entangled together. Barely
a sidestep can be taken. It is full frontal, face-on. It has been almost
impossible to accomplish one thing without it directly messing up a connecting
matter – even if I wanted to avoid something, I could not.
It touched on all areas; physically, mentally,
emotionally, spiritually. It has been a challenge – even beyond that. At times,
I just broke down and wept. How much is one person supposed to take? Constantly
I would be thanking the Lord, but then turning again to ask for more of His
strength, more of His help. He never failed. He silently, immediately helped.
I am not a super-Christian, and o Lord, I do not want to
complain – but it has been so difficult, so nonstop. It feels like one is
fighting the whole world, the devil and his armies, the flesh – everything.
It seems insane. At the most inopportune times, I lose my
patience, and become irritated – it just seems like things surface in me that I do
not like – because the challenges are constant; the pain is real; the painkillers
(and pain) have caused me to be moody.
It just will not stop. It is not all witchcraft, or
flesh, or the world, but a combination. Sometimes it is more one than another,
but it seems divided. I find myself ever before the Lord. Why is this flesh so
corrupted?
Test of Endurance
If you have been consistent in checking in for a post, firstly,
congratulations! You have passed the ‘test of endurance’. (appreciative
smile) Secondly, the Lord has placed persistence within your soul, an
ability to persevere.
You have strength of mind and character – that is a
good quality, a gift from God. Remember that the next time you doubt yourself!
Either that or like me, you can be particularly stubborn. (lol) Let’s just stick
with perseverance and strength of mind, shall we?
On a serious note, there certainly was no intent on my
part to ‘test’ anyone with slow or zilch posting. My apologies if
there were any disappointments, but with the volumes of good writing and
attention-grabbing videos on the ‘net’ these days, I am sure
disappointment was short-lived or sparse, which is a good thing! I think Romans
8:28 summarizes it best, despite outward appearances. God is ruler over all.
The troubles and challenges (which are understatements
for the worst days) that continued to keep me from posting an article regularly
after July 27th (except only three posts after
July until now, December 31, 2024, with none since October])
have frustrated me to the point of exasperation.
I fought and fought, trying repeatedly to get something
posted in between the hindrances, interruptions, interference, delays, and
distractions. Yet time and again, I was sideswiped and could not get anywhere near anything being accomplished.
The number of times I started, trying to explain without overwhelming
the reader seemed fruitless. However, to accurately warn about the severity and
intent of Satan/Lucifer to bring utter destruction to all that belongs to El
Shaddai [God Almighty] is critical to understand.
As dedicated followers of Jesus Christ (Yeshua Messiah)
we are eagerly looking for His return, the signs are all around leading to the
revealing of the son of perdition. And Satan has his agents in the flesh, and
his legions in the spirit (demonic) who are anxiously pushing the agenda
to set up the beast system and bring in their false Christ.
The global elite have programmed the minds of the lost and
the greedy and blinded eyes so that they gladly receive the deceiver who will
promise to bring solutions to the problems, settle down the chaos, and rid the
world of deception and lies.
Satan’s Deep Hatred for All of God’s Creation
– Destruction is His Goal
There is no room for error. Too many of God’s people are not
taking witchcraft and spiritual warfare seriously enough, OR they go to
the other extreme. On the other hand, there has been “overkill”
in the reality of spiritual warfare, critically (dangerously) straying
from the biblical doctrine [teaching] that is sprinkled throughout
scripture.
Some make it out to be a game, stomping and dancing on the devil’s head, as if Satan has no power at all and is afraid of “Christians” who have obviously strayed from the Word of God or have clearly misunderstood scriptures. If Satan had no power at all, one-third of the angels would not have rebelled with him, no matter how convincing his words were. And Satan would have no worshippers.
Even the archangel and powerful warrior angel Michael,
when he was in a dispute with Satan over Moses’ body did not jump and dance around
him, or attempt to stomp on his head as if he were a weak plaything.
Neither did Michael accuse, slander, or ridicule him, according
to scripture, but left it up to the Lord to handle Satan. I can promise you
this. It is no game, especially if you are not saved. Even Job trembled.
Fear
came upon me, and trembling,
which made all my bones to shake.
Then a spirit passed before my face; the hair
of my flesh stood up: It stood still, but
I could not discern the form thereof: an
image was
before my eyes, there was silence, […]
[Job 4:14-16]
I am going to share a story. One reason amongst a few
others, is why people need to know that the demonic realm is real. I would fear it [demonic/spiritual realm, spiritual warfare, witchcraft] IF I did not know Jesus, but when we are following the Good Shepherd and belong
to Him, we need only to trust in Him.
When I wrote my testimony, I called it: First the
Inside of the Cup. In it, I wrote about a visitation I had from a demon.
Was it Satan? I do not know, but I believe it was a ‘prince’, a ‘principality’.
Sometimes I called it the “spirit of death” and you will see why
as I testify. Keep in mind please, I was not saved at the time this all transpired.
I remember being absolutely petrified. The memory is as
fresh today as it was the day it happened. This is the testimony of that visit.
[Again] Before I was saved, a demon entered my bedroom in the
dark of night – it was very late (or you could say, very early, in the wee hours of the morning).
The room grew noticeably darker. The evil spirit stood at the left side of the
bed, covered in a dark cloak. I would say it was hooded because the cloak
seemed to cover his head, but everything was so dark.
Cunningly Destroying All He Came Near
I could not see this demonic face for the impenetrable darkness,
but I was aware of his piercing eyes glaring at me with intense hatred. I
literally froze, so frightened that I could not move or speak. Even my thoughts
seemed frozen. My then-husband was passed out cold from drinking.
Our nine-month-old son was across the hall asleep in his
crib. In the middle bedroom was our seven-year-old daughter, and in the next
bedroom was our youngest girl, aged almost three and a half. I was the only one
awake. Finally, a word managed to free itself from captivity and move through my
mind. It kept silently repeating itself – J-E-S-U-S; Jesus; Jesus!
It seemed like an eternity, but in reality, it was likely
only one or two minutes. For whatever reason, the demon stood by me the longest
at the foot of the bed. Then he moved to my then husband’s side of the bed,
very briefly. Neither of us was saved, so I did not know [at the time] why he came to see me
first.
It is speculative when I say that the rest of what I saw
was seen through spiritual eyes, as it was not a vision or a dream. I was wide awake because my husband and I had been arguing about his drinking. He was a heavy
alcoholic, who could turn violent very quickly. He was often out of work.
Whether this demon (or Satan) flew or just moved
quicker than my eyes could follow or my brain could comprehend, I cannot say, but
he left our bedroom and went across the hall, standing briefly beside my son’s
crib. The adversary then went to where the eldest girl slept, and finally, to
the younger girl.
As the evil spirit stopped at each person, the corresponding ‘visit’ became shorter. The demon touched no one physically, nor did he speak a word. Everything was eerily, even deathly silent. In retrospect, I truly must thank Jesus for not allowing the evil spirit to touch us physically or to speak evil over us audibly, especially the tender little ones (when he was there) No one else awoke until morning.
The devil had stood by me the longest at the foot of the
bed for about one or two minutes. But once the name of “Jesus” continued
passing through my mind, the devil moved up slightly toward me from the foot of the bed
and remained for another 30 seconds.
Having pondered it countless times at first, I often wondered
why the evil spirit came to me first and stood by me the longest (perhaps he
was plotting something sinister against me.) He stood by the husband about 25
seconds before he moved across the hall and into our son’s room.
The standing time began to seem like a countdown. Out of
the three children, the demon stood by the baby for about 20 seconds, the
lengthier time. It was then 10 seconds for the eldest girl, and five seconds
for the younger girl (3 ½ years old).
With my spiritual eyes, I witnessed the demon “fly” (yes,
that time he seemed to fly) across the large field to the big barn. I have
no way of knowing what the demon spirit did in the barn but briefly I saw it leave
the property in the dark of morning.
The Ouija Board
Trouble had already started with our landlord about two
or three weeks before this evil spirit showed up. My husband controlled the
money. He was not working, so with three little ones, we collected welfare. The
cheque came in his name, as head of the household.
He had already dipped into the rent money buying beer, but not so badly that we could not recover, but it meant pawning some things. We never managed to make it to the pawnshop.
However, I discovered a long orange outdoor extension cord plugged into our outlets and running across the field to a two-story barn.
(Please Note: The above pictures are NOT the actual barn or greenhouses, although they are eerily similar. The greenhouses are very similar indeed. The paint on the actual barn was wearing off, and was more brown than it was red.
The situation was not handled well. We had to go to town to get film for the camera (early '92, no cell phones). At the same time, my husband planned to submit a document in Small Claims court and file a complaint with the Landlord/Tenant Act.
When the landlord came over to collect the rent, instead
of sitting down calmly and discussing things to come to an amicable
settlement, threats were made, with both men yelling at each other.
My husband told the landlord of his intentions to submit documents at Small Claims and the Landlord/Tenant branch. The landlord did not
take too kindly to that. He was an older man who had immigrated to Canada over
40 years previously. He was very well off from selling crops and other things
from his 100-acre farm over the years.
He had a good reputation within the community and he was
not about to let some “punk alcoholic” smear his good name. Before we
even left for town later that day, the landlord returned. He had gotten the jump on us and had proceeded to file documents first, with his notice being to evict us for
nonpayment of rent.
My husband had refused to give him any rent money, which
I completely disagreed with. It was a foolish mistake. It typically never goes
well for the person who countersues or files after another party does.
Favour is usually shown to the first party to file, depending of course, on the
nature of the dispute.
Without pictures of the
cords running from the house to the greenhouse, as well as the cord running
across the field to the barn that we had planned to take and submit as evidence, our case was weakened. My husband had also made the mistake of
telling the landlord who was obviously intelligent enough to remove the
cords before we established proof.
Now all we had was the electricity bill, which in truth,
I thought was fairly good evidence. Usage and cost clearly jumped a noticeable
and significant amount during the time the cords were plugged in.
Now, here is where the spiritual trouble began and what I
believe turned out to be the open door, or the portal in which the demon came through.
I did not get it until a few years later when I began randomly attending
church and learning more about the spiritual realm.
When I had gone downstairs to check things out, I noticed
a Ouija board had been strategically placed on one of our shelves. (We
rented the entire house, except for one room which the landlord wanted as an
office for when he grew his crops during the summer to fall seasons.) He never
locked it.
I messed with a Ouija board once at 24 and didn’t like it. The Christmas tree fell over with no one near it, and some other strange ‘vibrations’ we called it at the time. I have repented of that pagan, New Age, occult witchery long ago. Witchcraft is not something to play with. Even if one is just messing with it out of curiosity or for fun, demons will let you think it is harmless, especially if it fits with the agenda of delusions and illusions.
Witchcraft is as rebellion against Jesus/Yeshua. I took the Ouija
board down from the shelf and placed it in the landlord’s office. The landlord
was mocking us because at the bottom of the board in large letters, it says:
GOOD BYE
Everyone had just filed papers, yet the landlord was already positive that he was going to win the case, even though he was guilty. How could that be? I remember seeing a scripture (I might have read occasionally, but sparsely back then), but at one point I saw what seemed like the only plausible answer to explain what went down. It is the only thing that makes sense:
a) the landlord's rush to file
b) the regular judge dismissed
c) the new judge assigned to the court 'temporarily', according to pro bono lawyer
d) the landlord's confidence that he would win even though he did wrong (hydro)
A wicked man accepts a bribe behind the back to pervert the ways of justice. Wisdom is in the sight of him who has understanding, but the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth.[Prov 14:23-24]
A few days later, I went downstairs and sure enough, the
landlord had placed the board back on the shelf. The GOOD BYE message was loud
and clear. I have no idea how many days passed before I went downstairs, but
there the board was again, in plain sight.
He was a stubborn old man but he had met a stubborn young
woman (I was 37, going on 38 at the time.) This time I took the Ouija Board and busted it
in half over my knee and threw it back in his office, grunting a 'goodbye'. I never saw the Board
again, but the act of rejection of the dark side angered Satan. The breaking of
the Board opened a portal in the spiritual realm.
That is why that evil demonic spirit had the ‘right’ to
come that night. Since I was the one who violently broke the board over my
knee, I was the one targeted that night. How does the enemy get to people? One of his favourite ways is through a person's loved ones, especially children.
The Lord allowed it as a lesson, but He protected us all in that the demon could not touch us physically or speak to us audibly at the time, just like it was with Job. It would be a lesson that I never forgot.
That time was when I became instantly aware of the reality of the spiritual realm. Up until then, I had a half-baked idea that most of the demonic side was pretend. But you see, it was not just witchcraft [landlord, obviously - owning a Ouija board], or Satan (evil spirit), but what was coming also had to do with the SINS of people as well. Satan works with the 'flesh', our carnal nature.
It has been that way since the Garden of Eden when Eve was deceived, and Adam disobeyed God, when he listened to his wife who was seduced by the serpent. The combination of witchcraft and Satan, yes, but bring in the SINS of people and we have "destruction just waiting to happen."
He will tempt people, but the choice to act upon that temptation or not is ultimately up to each individual. If they make the wrong choice, that temptation is not a mistake, it has crossed the line into sin, which is not of God, but the world and the devil (lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life).
Satan is the father of lies, and a murderer from the beginning. There is no truth in him; deception is his very character. [Jn 8:44]
Now I will share with you the “reality” of the demonic
side. The evil spirit stood by me the longest; I understood that he had a
serious attack planned against me.
The evil spirit stood by my husband after me. I will come
back to this part.
Baby boy: Acute double pneumonia – 8 days ICU; then 7 days in general ward; total downtime 20 days - the baby almost died; ICU was touch and go
Court case: The Lawyer
was confident we would win. The landlord’s electricity bill when he was using the barn
and greenhouses with electricity powered from the house, compared to our bill.
They were identical which proved the landlord was using our electricity.
Regular judge was dismissed – new
judge on circuit unknown by lawyer who knew all judges on circuit,
even new ones; lawyer called it ‘out of the ordinary’
Evidence: the judge ruled in favor
of landlord. Evidence was dismissed as incomplete. Eviction notice approved –
two weeks to vacate
Husband: As we were packing up, marriage was verbally
ended; husband moved in with uncle; I moved into a shelter with the three
children; that was our last separation
Youngest daughter: Turned
four years old third week in shelter; a few days after birthday, child sexually
molested by 300-pound, 5’8” woman – staff did not want to report – might lose
funding; overrode their decision; I insisted police be called
Child interviewed; staff wanted to move us up the hall to another room; I refused
saying that the child would think that “she” did wrong; we did no wrong; long staff meetings
Preliminary hearing – Criminal Court
Hospitalized: I spent three days in hospital to rest due to threats from husband; staff intercepted calls; we had no choice but to move to another shelter in an undisclosed location due to his threats to do harm.
The shelter was in another town; my car was hidden (could not be seen from the road - a 10-foot high fence surrounded parking lot.) as 'my husband' (his words).
Due to fear of the woman charged (accused), a screen was ordered to place in front of the child – the purpose of the screen was for protection of the child, and for her peace of mind. The children's lawyer had to fight for the screen because my daughter would not talk when the accused stared at her with "angry eyes".
The purpose of the screen: the child witness could not see the accused; but the child could be seen by all. (Keep in mind that she had 'just' turned four [4] years old. The screen was similar to a two-way mirror.
SHOCK: I was not allowed in court
in case I somehow swayed or influenced the child. Yet the husband whose threats were
heard by third party (staff – phone), and caused us to move to an undisclosed place was allowed to stand behind the child in
court for SUPPORT (even as he told me to have charges dropped)
TRIAL DATE SET: Evidence
provided at preliminary; judge decides enough evidence to proceed to trial
As I was coming out of the court washroom, I saw the detective who was involved in the case, two [2] shelter workers, the father, and my four [4]-year-old daughter all walking down the hall but they were supposed to be in court.
The female detective stated that the judge had to throw the case out of court (dismiss it) because
the child said she “lied” and “the devil made her do it.”
It was his favourite saying ("the devil made me do it" was a saying made popular by comedienne Flip Wilson in the 70s) I yelled at him saying he told her say that. The emotional outburst was not a reaction I was proud of, nor would I justify, but I was just blown away.
The shelter workers cooperated fully with the police, and the detective worked hard to gather enough evidence to hand over to the prosecutor. There was the play dough "knife" that she had threatened to 'kill' my daughter with if she told anyone.
The little one had shown the police where to find it. The police had a picture of the 'cut' the woman made on her own arm to prove the knife could hurt her (to the mind of a tender barely 4-year-old, yes - very believable).
Yes, there had been more than enough evidence to go to trial. Then that happened...
Did he not love his child enough to demand and expect justice? Did he not want his daughter to be whole and unafraid? He had merely shrugged and said, “hey, she said it!"
I asked the female detective if they could start again if the child explained the truth to the judge, which was that her father made her say those words. She scowled at my ex, and sighed as she explained that unfortunately the case was over. It could not be pursued further. The accused would receive no punishment, receive no counseling, and justice would not prevail.
The accused walked...with not even so much as a slap on the wrist. I saw her up the hall smugly grinning as she watched us from a distance. She was alone.
Almost twenty-three years have passed. All I can hope is that the woman (K.B.) became utterly broken one day before a very holy and just God, plentiful in mercy, yet righteous in judgment.
Now - NOW that I know the Lord, I can honestly say, with understanding:
For we wrestle NOT against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. [Eph 6:12]
Hopefully, godly sorrow consumed her to the point of genuine repentance, and she seriously turned away from that wicked, destructive and sinful path, filled with godly sorrow, and repented, turning from her wicked ways.
As much as I hate what she did to my beautiful child, I do not want to see Satan win her soul in hell - for her to end up in the lake of fire! To be forever separated from our Creator after having seen or tasted of His goodness - I would rather never to have been born at all than to end up like that.
I know it all was the work of that dark, evil demon that visited each one of us that fateful night. Full healing and restoration is what I desire for my beautiful daughter. My prayer is that she never blames God for what the sins of one soul did, but more importantly, that forgives that soul for what she did.
That does not mean that she sees the sin as acceptable, because it surely is not. It means that she acknowledges it is wrong, but that she prefers to walk in the light of God's forgiveness, rather than the darkness of bitter unforgiveness.
Demon’s work: Three
months later I was in hospital one month after a night of abuse from
husband when we were separated, but he deceived me.
He asked if he could sleep one night on the couch because when they were drinking, his uncle and he had gotten into a fight. He ran the car into his uncle's fence - his uncle kicked him out and it was freezing cold temperatures. He promised he would get a place in the morning if I just gave him the one night.
I believed him. Would I never learn? I still was not saved...nor even given God (Jesus) much thought, despite the visit from the demon. I was spiritually blind, which happened eight years earlier (approximately) but that's another story.
Once he was in the house, my still-husband would not leave. Because we were not divorced and I had no forms proving [legal] separation (so much happening, I just had not had time); the police could not force him to leave because legally, he was still my husband. It did not matter if the place was rented in my name or not. The police had no documents to act upon.
Letting my (husband) in that night was how I ended up in hospital for one month. He had begun drinking, and all the anger, bitterness, and hatred came to the surface, and he acted upon it. I am sure that 'demon' was there in the background, whispering temptations, and convincing him what a bad wife I was.
DIAGNOSIS: I ended up on an 11-year medical journey due to a misdiagnosis, [yet another long story - but wrong time) starting with one [1] pill [antidepressant] to calm me down [anxiety] after abuse, then bumped to three [3] per day. Eleven [11] years later, I was on 34-36 pills/day, three kinds of which were highly addictive.
SEVEN-YEAR CUSTODY BATTLE: my husband divorced me two years later [2 years after I was hospitalized. It was during my hospital stay, he applied for custody. That way he would have a reason not to work. He had to be a stay-at-home dad).
When he divorced me, he had been living with another woman for a year. Custody of children was granted automatically to the father because they had been with him for the two [2] years before divorce.
My lawyer, for whatever reason, told me I did not have to appear in court that day, as it was just to set a date. However, it was dealt with that day. I saw Satan's hand in every detail of what was going on.
I ended up in custody battle that lasted nearly seven years. The Lord allowed it because it was in my desperation that I was going to begin to seek Jesus. I needed help and I had nowhere else to turn. Before and after we were married, we were always moving, so I never had much of a chance to make friends.
It was early in the battle that the Lord promised me the return of the children. He gave scripture from the book of Isaiah. However, it was a long, drawn out, and dramatic custody battle. Even two lawyers advised me to just settle for access.
[Begin edit and additional narrative]
They promised to make sure the access was "generous". I could not. The father was negligent and abusive, but I could not convince the workers (two young females, one in her 30s; one in late 40s) from the Children's Aid Society to investigate without warning him firsthand before a "visit".
They found my ex 'attractive'. One worker, who was rather smitten with him, had a run-in with me. I had called the CAS [Children's Aid Society] to ask them to do a visit and check on the children's care because the eldest girl told me that the three of them had shared one box of Kraft dinner for supper; they were hungry.
My girls also confided in me that their father was "watching" them as they showered. There were other troubling details they expressed as well that bothered them. When I called the office of CAS , one regular worker (the small-town office only had 'two' full-time, regular employees on duty at any given time) obviously did not like me, although we had never met.
It was more than once that my calls were not considered worthy of an investigation. Not every call I made with allegations of neglect and/or abuse were followed up.
The one smitten with my ex stated that I seemed "like an embittered ex-spouse seeking revenge." Then, as an afterthought, she remarked that my ex-husband did "not look like a child molester." I saw RED, and snapped back, "Just WHAT does one look like?!" as I slammed down the phone with great might (the phone survived).
I cried until no more tears would come. Why did no one believe me? Why did the CAS always 'call' him to tell them they were coming? That was against protocol; against the agency's system of rules. Yet, in this small town, they typically gave him a couple of hours' notice. The children told me these things. They would have to rush and clean up beer bottles, dishes, vacuum, etc.
The protocol with the CAS or any child protective services is that when a call comes through lodging a complaint or something that requires a home visit to 'check out things' and determine the need for their involvement, their arrival after such a call was to be unannounced.
Yet, the children's father was always given not only a warning (CAS was less than a 10-minute drive away in the one-horse [aka 'small'] town, but he was also given ample time to 'clean up'. There were times he called nearby relatives to supply him with food (with a promise to 'pay back') because they did check the fridge and cupboards.) Everything seemed against me - it was all so surreal.
Long story shortened. The father crossed a forbidden line...one of the three children called me early in the morning to tell me something. I was horrified and felt completely helpless.
With a hesitant yet heavy heart, it was with frustrated sadness that I had to explain that I could NOT call CAS because they never believed me, and they would just warn him as always.
The child asked why they did not believe me. It was always so difficult to tell young children adult information, but perhaps the understanding of a child is sometimes underestimated. I asked if there was any adult at the school that they trusted enough to talk to.
I was told there was: a principal (a female). I begged the child to tell the principal, knowing that C.A.S. would then act promptly. A call was made. Children were called out of their classes (two different schools - middle (elementary) and high school) to be interviewed. It is one thing when an ex-spouse calls I reckon, and another when the principal at a school calls.
I got a call a few hours later to pick the children up at the police station (an hour and a half away). I was in shock - I just heard God's promise come true, I knew it! Even though custody was temporary-temporary, within two days, it went a step up, to temporary.
The father was to get counseling, as well as anger management, and some other parental program [cannot recall] before another assessment was done to determine access. He refused the counseling and the programs, saying he had done nothing wrong. He claimed that he could handle the kids; I could not. This time, he could not convince people of his lies as he had been able to seven years earlier.
It was within a very short time span (weeks) [but again, I cannot recall] that access went from temporary to permanent. I do remember that it was before school summer holidays began. Jesus had kept His promise. It was a modern-day personal miracle, but few saw it! To this day, I see it and thank the good Lord.
Impressive Trivia to the Glory of Yeshua
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| Sovereignty and Providence of God Glory to Yeshua |
From the end of April until the end of June (when school was out), CAS requested that I drive the three children to school and back, since they were so close to the year end. Missed time could affect their passing into the next grade.
It was a huge request because the drive was an hour and a half drive ONE way. I then had to turn around and drive back because I had a small residential and commercial cleaning business, but also important and new appointments popped up which I had to attend to.
Six [6] hours of driving, five[5] days a week, for six [6] weeks...almost got 6-6-6 out of it, but not quite. Instead, it was 6-5-6, one six [6] got lost! But the way I looked at it was this.
The devil was doing all he could to shake me up, to make me keep away from Jesus (steal hope, destroy faith, kill any chance of salvation by keeping me in sin). Satan hates to lose.
But in the song, which I came to learn is scriptural, Jesus is our Advocate. He said that He had prayed to the Father that my faith would not fail, so the number FIVE [5] stuck in-between the 6's was GRACE...the grace of Jesus/Yeshua. The number five in Hebrew is "chamesh", which means grace or favour.
That time was difficult for the children too because they had to be up at 5:30 a.m. The eldest had to be dropped off by 7:45 a.m. Class started at 8:00 a.m. for her. Then, for the elementary school, we had to wait forty-five minutes because classes for the two younger children did not start until 9:00.
At the end of the day, I had to be back by 2:30 to pick up the eldest, then wait around until 3:30 p.m. to pick up the two youngest. The children always fell asleep on the way there in the morning as well as on the way back in the afternoon. It was hard on them, but they were so good about it all.
One time I had to ask for help with gas. It was challenging to adjust to supporting the four of us suddenly, but I was trying. The pastor gave me heck for not staying up in the town all day where the schools were located, instead of all the driving.
I still did not attend church regularly, but the children liked going (socializing). He did not know I gave what I could in tithes and offerings because it was done anonymously, not put in an envelope with my name and amount on it. Still, by today's standards, it was probably equivalent to a widow's mite. I know what the pastor thought, but Jesus knew differently.
His dislike for me could not be blamed on him. I fell asleep during most of his sermons (it was during the days I was heavily medicated, but not yet at 34-36 pills a day. That was still a few years away.) I think I snored at times (soo unladylike - sigh), but can you imagine, having your sermon interrupted by "unladylike" snoring? Heavens to Murgatroyd! [Snagglepuss expression)
It used to be a joke (the congregation was small, perhaps 50 people on a good day, more often 25-30). Some days people would say, "You know it's a good sermon when Bonita stays awake!" lol Ahh...shake my head, sigh and shrug. What can I say? I was the thorn in the church's side it seemed.
Compassion and understanding had been strangers to me. Back then, no one seemed to believe me or understand me - except Jesus. What kind of God was this who strengthened the weak, encouraged the discouraged, offered hope to the hopeless, justice for those the world condemned, and agape love for the unlovable?
CAS ended up paying me nearly $700 for gas (I kept all my gas receipts). The money was used to pay for one week of camping for all three children. I applied for assistance. (I had already paid the pastor back out of my work money, even though it came out of the Benevolent Fund.
The Lord provided that miracle. There was an advertisement in a local paper mentioning a well-known Christian children's camp, filled with fun activities, but also teachings about Jesus. An offer was being presented to sponsor children who had been through various traumas and hardships in their young lives. It was sponsored by non-denominational churches and organizations.
To apply, one only had to provide an account in the form of a letter, stating why they would like to see their child or children attend camp, and a couple of phone numbers of professionals who could validate your story. I did not know anyone really.
Whether it was the Lord who placed it on my heart or not, two people came to mind. One was the executive director at the Children's Aid Society, who had told me to reach out to him if I ever needed help. We had been given a police escort to the father's house so the children could pick up all their belongings.
One of the officers had given me his card (we had met a few times during this transitional season) and said to contact him if I ever needed help with anything. By the grace of God, those children attended camp and the Lord even supplied the finances [$600] to pay for my share of the cost. The rest was paid by the kind sponsors.
There was no fellowship for me within the small congregation. I was too old (15-20 years) for the unmarried singles, and too 'single' for the married couples. lol I kept busy with my three children and sorting out the mess from their father.
All of it, I blamed myself for, including the hurt of these precious children. Because before any of them were born, the Lord told me that their father was NOT my husband. But I was so desperate to be loved, and to know love, I forced it through rebellion, through idolatry - through so many sins it is pathetic.
I could feel sick at the very thought these days, but the love of the Lord that accompanies His forgiveness also cleanses us of the shame and guilt that comes with sin. Why I did not fall on my face trembling before a holy and pure God can only be explained by being a child of the devil, of darkness (lost in sin), instead of a child of light, of God.
Why was I so cold, as one dead? It is because we are spiritually dead due to sin; separated from God. We inherited the fallen, carnal nature from Adam. With ONE word, Jesus/Yeshua could have taken my life. Instead, what did He do? He showed me patience, understanding, mercy - undeserved mercy and grace. All I see now, in retrospect, is the blackness and the wickedness of my condition at that time.
The long drives, the rejection of me by family, Christians, and the world, the horrific news the children confided in me about their father, everything that was happening speedily and directly, was all part of the 'sifting' (being 'sifted like wheat' - the great shaking).
The Lord had prophesied to me a little over one year before this all happened. Jesus sang a song that pointed to the scripture that highlighted Peter after he denied Christ. It was simply called, "Sifted Like Wheat". [Lk 22:31, 32]
[I had rejected Christ to follow the 'created' (a mere man, an abusive alcoholic boyfriend), rather than the Creator [a holy, loving, gentle God], which is idolatry.] Just like for Peter, Satan had an evil intent. Although I was not saved, Jesus mercifully forewarned me of Satan's plot, yet also assured me that as my Advocate, He had prayed to the Father that my faith would not fail me.
What did Jesus/Yeshua see in me than no one else (self included) saw? There was much more to come, and trials and tribulations forthcoming were going to last a long time. Would my faith fail me, or did God answer Jesus' prayer?
After five dramatic and (psychologically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) painful years of court appearances, due to the news the children had confided to me (where again, I was not allowed in the courtrooms in case I tried to influence the children's testimonies). I had never heard of such a thing, and Satan came to mind as the reason.
I had finally been allowed into the courtroom once the trial was over, and the judge was about to pass sentence. The father was found guilty and sentenced to prison. When the judge asked him if he had anything to say, he told the children he forgave them.
Can you imagine? The pained looks on their little faces could melt the hardest heart. They obviously were in shock, but he basically called them all liars right in front of the judge. They were betrayed by their own father in more ways than one, just as Judas had betrayed Jesus.
The Victim Witness Program had given each child a teddy bear to hold onto. It is said to comfort little ones and help them deal with the stress and trauma in their situation. He ended up going to prison for the SA of one of his own children, and other charges that were related to his care with the other two.
The promise the Lord had given me seven years earlier came to pass. He humbled the proud, which I reckon was me in the beginning, but who was the father in the end. He was true to His word, even though everyone had quit praying about it, except one faithful woman named Marguerite, and myself.
All of the people (remember, it was a small congregation, fluctuating between 25-50 people), including the pastor, had decided that if it were God's will, the return would have happened much quicker. But God's ways are not our ways.
What about people in the Bible who had to wait for promises, like Abraham and Sarah, who waited 25 years for a promise, and other examples? Where was faith in God? It was because I was not a Christian that people decided as they did. Still, there was faithful Marguerite that the Lord moved upon to stand with me in prayer -- and two of us agreed, touching one thing, and so, it was done to the glory of God through Jesus (Yeshua). Amen
And even when I announced it in church (I promised Jesus I would when I saw David made a similar promise to God on the day his prayers were answered), no one saw it as the miracle it was. SEVEN YEARS they stood by...how could they not see God's hand and His providence? Marguerite (now deceased) saw it and rejoiced with me. The pastor nonchalantly said, 'Praise God' and wrote something on a piece of paper. He always took people's reports each week and offered a thanksgiving prayer.
I will give You thanks in the great congregation: I will praise You among many people. Let not them that are my enemies wrongfully rejoice over me: neither let them wink with every eye that hates me without cause. [Ps 35:18-19]
With that very serious promise, I was finally learning to trust. It was also the first personal 'prophetic message' that I ever remember receiving. Maybe God (Jesus) was not like people...or maybe people are not like Him (although I want to be like Jesus). Maybe He COULD be trusted...[that is how I thought back then. NOW I know God CAN be trusted!] Hallelujah!
Understand, please. I had trust issues, yes. From the orphanage traumas to an abusive home life, to being kidnapped on my 16th birthday, to making poor choices in choosing boyfriends, and continuing in sin - my life was a mess. I had gone from trusting everyone with a warm smile and kind words, to trusting no one, no matter what.
Even after the children's father was sentenced, and I committed my life to Jesus, there were about seven more years of purging, pruning, cleansing and sifting to do, but what a work the LORD Jesus/Yeshua does in those who love Him. He is the Supreme Potter, working with some of the hardest, impossible types of clay, but He never ever gives up or forsakes us.
A commitment was almost (not quite) 20 years ago, but the difference is that NOW I am wholly surrendered. Decades have passed...gone are the days of prostitution, fornication, idolatry, adultery, addiction, and so much more.
This flesh has to be closely watched and kept on the cross, but there are those stubborn days...those days that I still fall short and I am reminded that this flesh is corrupted. A harsh word, a raised voice, or an unsavoury word of action (temper), attitude - could be anything, but the Lord has surely helped with the major sins of days gone by...so much to thank Him for.
It will never reach perfection in this lifetime. It is a daily battle just with the flesh. (Not the same kind of perfection the Lord speaks of, which means: whole, complete, mature)
The Holy Spirit taught me the difference, and many, many other things. Thank You, Lord. I testify this day that the true living God be glorified. He is exalted on high - He IS TRUSTWORTHY...called Faithful and True [Rev 19:11]
He is the only begotten Son of God, Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace [Is 9:6] He is called Faithful and TRUE [Rev 19:11] It is to be shouted from the rooftops, glory to the Most High God through Jesus the Messiah!
[end of addition]
THAT is why the ex had wanted the trial with the woman who sexually molested a young four-year-old to be stopped, or to fail seven years earlier. He had the same sinful ways; the same evil spirit. But God returned the children to me, just as He promised. I am not going to blame God for the sins of people, or the sins of a father, or why He allowed what He allowed.
Some of my sins have hurt other people, but every sin grieves God. When people continue stiffening their neck and hardening their heart, no matter how many times God reaches out to them (and He does to everyone), His patience will eventually give way to His wrath.
God is no pushover, no fool. He is not mocked. We will reap what we sow. Yes, there are times that God grants astounding mercy for a sin, and the person escapes the consequence. Does that ever anger some people! (unless it is them the mercy is granted to)
The wrath of God is going to be poured out on this sinful world, and woe to those who are here. Seven bowls of God's wrath - see Revelation 16.
Today, Jesus/Yeshua is my Saviour, King and Lord. He is everything, and all three of my children believe in Him. I do not know if any have committed to Him, but I continue to pray and stand in the gap for them. It is all I can do, but if He could save the likes of me, especially when it took over half a century to get me submitted and dedicated, there is no way I will doubt His hand and victory with my children. They were His before they were ever mine, and they still are His.
Some people want to blame God for everything, including our own sins and rebellious behaviour. Multitudes want to take witchcraft and spiritual warfare
lightly. Countless do not believe demons can cause much, if any damage. It is understood now
why the demon stood by me the longest and then, stood beside the ex-husband. Such an evil creature as to target innocent little children.
The thief can not but to steal, to kill and to destroy.
Yeshua/Jesus said He came that we might have life, and have it more abundantly.
[Jn 10:10]
Three court cases were affected; a marriage was
destroyed; a baby nearly died (but praise Jesus my son survived – it was akin to Job, the time Satan could
not kill the body). The loss of three children for seven [7] years, yet Romans 8:28 happened, I
am so glad because in desperation I turned to Jesus – and man, did He have a
work to do.
Yes, the demon hurt another child later on through 'S. Assault', and even tried to comfort the abuser. He threw in a 7-year custody battle, and an 11-year medical nightmare due to a misdiagnosis, but praise God, because He brought me through it all. The VICTORIES are ALL because of Jesus/Yeshua! All glory is His as I exalt Him on high.
It would surpass 39 years, of dealing with wrong choices. The choices were mistakes, but let's be real, the choices were sins. Dealing with SINS, dealing with the consequences of sins...yet led by the Holy Spirit, which eventually led to confession and repentance with godly sorrow, in order to receive mercy, grace, love of Jesus and forgiveness.
That my friends, is the power of the
enemy when people are lost. Not everyone goes through such drama, but Satan’s
into drama. BUT -- J
It is the desire of God that none should perish, but that all should come to repentance. [2Pet 3:9] Time is short - choose whom you will serve.
My First Brush with A Witch
I will close with this, and again, you will see why I do not mess around with witchcraft or witches, but I will tell you this. Jesus Christ – Yeshua Mashiach is all-powerful [omnipotent]. And if you are His, and walking with Him, you need not fear. He WILL look after things. It may not be the way you would choose to do things. It may not be anything you can understand, but you can trust the holy, omnipotent, living God. Amen
When I was 19, I met a 24-year-old man. He took to me immediately, but I was not so sure about him. He was likeable and polite, but was he my type of person? I was unsure. He had been with a girl before (they both lived with their parents; boyfriend and girlfriend) for several years. He told me that she was livid over me being in the picture.
They had already been broken up for a month or so when I met him, but she wanted to get back together with him. He was raised in a large Catholic family, and she was a witch [literally].
He told me that she was a serious witch (I could get into what I was told (by him) and what I found out later, but not here, and not now.) Suffice it to say that it was no high school girl stuff or harmless antics. She was serious about her beliefs and her practices, and they were very dark, not innocent.
She had told him that we would both be sorry if we ever messed with her. Witchcraft had been in her family for generations, having come over from Scotland. They had even given her a "witch" name. I laughed when I heard it all. He said practiced the craft darkly [she was committed]. I had never heard anything about such things before then, so I soon forgot about it.
Four months after I knew him, I was three and a half months pregnant. That certainly shows my heart and my sins quite boldly. I was ruined in youth I had believed (when I was kidnapped and called 'slave'), but one day, the Lord would rescue me.
The pregnancy was ‘inconvenient’ I had decided, but I missed the abortion
appointment. It was an hour and a half away, and I had been working. I saw his
ex-girlfriend one time. She just scowled at me. Again, I thought no more of her
or her witchcraft.
Pressure was being placed on us by both sets of parents to get married
and give the baby a family. I did not love the man, but I thought I did – I think
I said so, but memory escapes me.
The pressure was even from my parents [natural mother and step-father],
who did not have much to do with me for a couple of years when I lived on the
streets after being kidnapped for less than three months (two-and-a-half
months).
They did not believe I was kidnapped (despite phone calls (before the
days of ‘caller ID’ or call display), and a time and place set up as a
rendezvous point). Another time they accused me of not escaping when I likely
could.
So, which was it? They did not believe me or they did. I can truthfully
say that I never caused my parents any grief up until that day, so why I was
accused as I was is beyond me. I need comfort, understanding, compassion – the love
of parents.
It was one of the worse times of my life and yet it seemed like I got
more understanding from the gang members than my parents. I remember when I was
let go, I was running across the parking lot toward my stepfather.
He stood there like an ice-cold statue, no smile, no welcome arms. I
stopped running and walked to the passenger side of the car without a word. He
never spoke the whole trip (half hour, forty-five minutes, an hour, I do not
know) …not a word.
I kept looking out the window, fighting back tears. Who cared? You must
be a pretty bad kid if your own parents rejected you. That is what I believed
for a long time, but it was not true.
The first grief I gave them (as a couple, [my mother and
stepfather]) was the kidnapping. But for my mother, obviously the first grief
was my birth.
I thought if I married the man, my parents and I would be close again. They had promised to be at the wedding. That would be a start, then maybe with a baby...
I had the taxi drive around the block again – I was about
to do something I did not want to do [marriage]. The taxi stopped back at the front of the
church... we ended up getting married.
Curses were put upon us. I laughed…I did
not believe in witches or witchcraft. My parents never came to my wedding. My
side of the church was empty, except for my bridesmaid, my beautiful friend.
Let me make short work of this story. I was 19 when I got pregnant, 20 when I gave birth, and 21 when she died. Yes, people can see and talk about the kind of sinner I was...but how I praise Jesus for not giving up on me.
My marriage ended up annulled by the Catholic church. The man I married was not just a transvestite (he loved my clothes), but he seriously wanted sex changes. Not me…
This was all the work of a witch against someone who believed in Jesus (ever since the orphanage, so you could say all my life). But remember what I once said (and it is written): Even the demons believe and tremble. Salvation was not yet mine.
Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
A marriage was destroyed, a beautiful baby girl died at 14-months-old,
and one soul was lost to the dark side, thinking he was meant to be a she, and
wanted me to be a he. I cannot remember on what grounds the church annulled the
marriage.
I will end it here...that was my first brush with a witch and the things they can do when they take it seriously. It is the enemy who carries it all out. Were blood sacrifices involved. I do not know as she remained unknown to me, and it has been 50 years since I ever saw him.
Romans 8:28 was the first verse I memorized. I believe with all my heart that Jesus/Yeshua STILL turns things around as he did for Joseph, one of the 12 sons of Jacob. His brothers wanted to kill him, and even threw him down a deep well or pit. However, God had a plan, and it went into action.
A caravan of Ishmaelites [Midianites] merchants, whose camels were laden down with perfumes (myrrh and balm) and spices, 'happened by'. They were on their way to Egypt. Judah convinced his brothers that it was better to sell Joseph to the merchants than to have his blood upon their hands, with the added burden of concealing their crime.
Everything Joseph went through was to prepare him for his God-ordained purpose. He rose up to be second only to Pharaoh in the land of Egypt, and as a result, he was well able to help the entire household of family in the famine. He was also able to show his brothers the power of forgiveness and love of God.
My brushes with witchcraft at 19 and again at 38 was to prepare me for these times we are in now. To help others in my little corner of the world to observe, acknowledge and fight against witchcraft through the blood of the Lamb, and the Word of our testimony.
This world is not our home, but for now, we must keep on our full armour [Eph 6], cling to Jesus and stay in the Word. We love not our life unto death [Rev 12:11] because it is God's anyway, through Jesus the Messiah. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. [Phil 4:13]
Lone Wolf or a Pack of Wolves?
Ravenous wolves coming in sheep’s clothing, and ministers of Satan who appear as ministers of righteousness have deceived the masses and aided the adversary in leading many away from the truth.
The false prophets, greedy shepherds, ‘certain’
deliverance ministries, and prosperity gospel teachers have done extensive
collateral damage in the churches, ill-prepared for when Satan strikes, and he
will. It was back in mid-November that I first saw Daystar mentioned when a
young couple broke their silence about an alleged coverup of sexual abuse of
their five-year-old daughter.
I had never heard of any of the people before because it has only been the past year to year and a half that I started to involve myself more in social media platforms (involved only in reading and watching videos for the most part) – all due to the plagiarism of my articles by Julie Green, et al. For me, YouTube was for movies, documentaries and music up until then.
Anyway, attention was paid by me because of a little girl molested when she just turned four years old in a woman’s shelter. I flashed back in time, remembering how I felt like I had failed my daughter. But who would have thought such a thing would or could happen in a shelter for women and their children?
I well remember exactly
how real the denial and the temptation of shelter staff to cover up the incident was. The staff were torn. The funding; they could lose funding, but in the end,
after ‘meetings’ the right thing was done.
It struck a tender spot even though the incident happened
thirty-three years ago. Satan does all he can to sacrifice the innocence of
children and to destroy families…that has not changed.
Near November’s end, I was going to post something about
Daystar (still not realizing what a huge organization they were), but the
point I wanted to drive home was (is) the faithfulness of the Lord. The warning
was to be strong and one that needs to be heeded.
The message of witchcraft is a serious one. Yes, Jesus is greater; yes, nothing escapes God, and what happens is what He allows. Yet I weary of the platitudes and the lack of remembering who the real enemy is. If and I say IF certain people do not repent, and do not do the right thing, are you willing to TRUST God to do JUSTICE, since you have done your part, friend?
Yes, God is dividing. In 1999, He warned me of being SIFTED like wheat, and a great SHAKING. All throughout the archives on this site, randomly placed by El Shaddai, are the reminders of the shaking, the sifting, that people should and would expect.
For me it began immediately upon receiving the phone call from my lawyer stating that my children were at the police station (an hour and a half drive away). I was instructed to go and pick them up.
I drove so fast (country roads) that I almost killed myself. Still in shock that my ex lost the children, and that they were at the police station, my foot hit the petal at 100 mph (give or take) - either way I was speeding.
Coming up over the crest of a hill on a country highway, I saw the 18-wheeler sitting at the stop sign on a sideroad waiting for clearance in traffic. "No way that truck will pull out", I convinced myself. I was wrong. He pulled out. My brain froze.
I saw the side of the truck and knew I could not stop in time. No word of a lie. People have heard this story (especially my children, who are now grown adults) so many times, I lost count - but it was God - or an angel. I do not know which.
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| click on any picture to enlarge (this is not the actual truck; picture is to aid in understanding and visuals) |
The truck was pulling out. No one behind him. He had two lanes of traffic on my side to pass through to get to the middle of the highway to turn into one of the two lanes going in the opposite direction.
Someone grabbed that wheel and maneuvered my Berretta to drive parallel down the side of the 18-wheeler,, hang a left to go around the rear-end of that 18-wheeler, then a sharp left to go up and back onto the highway like a skilled stock car racer. There was a very "slight" fishtail and I resumed driving as if nothing had happened at all.
The 18-wheeler had not seen me coming, and he must have freaked out to see my vehicle suddenly "appear" on his righthand side of the truck as he continued toward the middle to hang a left into the southbound lanes.
I truly believe that when God put an end to the custody battle by having the children end up at the police station, and me on the way to pick them up, that that demon (Satan) wanted to kill me and tried. But God gives His angels charge over us to keep us in all our ways. [Ps 91:11] (no, I'm sorry, I still was not yet committed to Jesus - I know, I shake my head in remembrance too)
People say that psalm shows that God is saying He will protect us. I know God does, but if we are to keep things in context, isn't that part about the Father's holy guardian angels protecting Jesus (Yeshua)?
Because verse 12 is the one Satan quoted to Jesus when he took Jesus to the highest pinnacle of the temple and told him to throw himself down because God commanded His angels to "bear Him up" (guard).
And said to him (Satan said to Jesus), If You be the Son of God, cast Yourself down: for it is written, He shall give His angels charge concerning You: and in their hands they shall bear You up. lest at any time You dash Your foot against a stone. [Mat 4:6]
But Jesus countered with: It is written again, You shall not tempt the Lord your God. [vs 7]
Of course, God would have protected Jesus, and He does protect us. but I ponder that portion. I certainly was protected that day in April 1999. Hallelujah.
There is no way that I am that exceptional driver that maneuvered around that 18-wheeler. True, in that it is because the truck was pulling slowly ahead whilst my vehicle was going behind him that I am today alive to speak of the 'miracle'.
The truck had a stop sign, but I had clear country highway. It had to be the Lord or a holy angel to defy the logic and the circumstances like the car did. I should have hit the side of the truck face-on, but God intervened. Nothing will ever convince me otherwise. No one can touch God's glory. It truly is His.
AND... I barely fishtailed. AND...there were no cars on the other side of the truck. Thank You, Jesus. I got to the police station and ended up sitting in a holding room whilst they spoke with the children. (Apparently the children had pizza and pop...at the time, all I wanted was a cigarette. Sheesh lol)
Praise God those days are over! More of HIS glory. After 50 years of smoking, the Lord delivered me. 50 years, yes - my Jubilee year. It was May 25, 2020. It will be five years (5, the Hebrew number for GRACE) - five years this May. Thank You Jesus. It was the Lord who took it...I tried to do it for decades on my own.
I mean, I flushed them, crushed them, cut them up, drove miles to a garbage bin so I would not be TEMPTED to take them back out of the garbage, and a few times, I even drove to the homeless shelters to give a new pack (with two or three out of it) away to thankful residents.
Every single time I did what I did (flush, crush, cut, drive, give, etc.) I meant it. Cigarettes were nearly $20 a package then, and I am no rich person to just destroy them, or give them away. I was serious, but the cravings.
Finally, after 50 years of smoking, and over two decades (sigh yes) of trying to quit, I finally confessed to the Lord that my flesh did not want to quit; that my flesh actually liked the foul things, and that I did not want to disappoint the Lord anymore.
Every time I was instructed to quit, I obeyed...but I could not carry through past a couple of days, most times. One time I quit for four days but that was a FAST for a court case. God honoured it and that case was won.
Let us just say, the Lord is just in His judgments. It took me finally making a confession, one where pride could not exist. Why? Because I had to admit an uncomfortable truth.
I had to admit that I liked smoking (well, my flesh did) and I reckoned, okay, I admitted that I did not want to quit. I desperately needed help or else I am never going to be able to stop smoking. Throughout the archives, in certain prophetic words, it was obviously the Lord was scolding, rebuking.
Some wondered...what sin is she guilty of? Imaginations ran wild, I bet. Then, boom! Suddenly I was there saying to myself, "Wow, I have not smoked for six days!"
I had not realized it because JESUS heard my honest prayer (man, it took me long enough...) and HE delivered me! Sometimes I dreamt I was smoking and enjoying it. I awoke feeling guilty - until - I realized it was a dream. What a horrible feeling, thinking that after God's grace, mercy and help, I smoked. Very glad it was just a dream (more like a nightmare lol)
God is faithful! and I am grateful...(ok, it rhymed but I did not plan it lol) But if the shoe fits...
SIFTING -- DIVIDING -- SEPARATING
Yahweh said He was dividing...cattle from cattle (sheep from sheep). Yes, BEFORE the dividing of the wheat from the tares. Read Ezekiel 34, and particularly verse 20. He gave that scripture and I posted it more than once over the past several years. He is dividing - separating. Now everyone is saying it...
But remember...YAHWEH said it FIRST. He is the Alpha and Omega, knowing the beginning from the end.
The counterfeiter (copycat) Satan is dividing also. May the Holy Spirit help us to discern. And then to act appropriately.
It had to be the Lord Himself who intervened and stopped me from posting in mid-November. At the time, NO ONE was bothering, NO ONE had heard yet.
Quick Insert - Update
Back to these times...what is happening now and the past five months? What has been happening now that so many are finally talking about a shaking, and at Daystar? [Joni Lamb] - and at Gateway? [Robert Morris] and BHM [Benny Hinn], and Bethel [Bill Johnson]? and on and on...
Little did I know that within days, the news of Daystar and the Lamb family would hit every channel, every platform, radio, TV, and internet. People unheard of before suddenly using the topic to be seen and heard on social media.
By now it is all over the place. But it’s more like gossip now (for some, some who have rarely been heard of) because the story is being told and rehashed; constantly replayed and updated... same recordings, different titles to get the people to click on THEIR channel, whilst everyone tries to outshine the other with their UPDATES. Their tags bring them...
There are those running from one side to the other supposedly looking for truth, but it looks more like he is betraying one side and cozying up to the other side, for? Is it for clicks? For reputation? For money? (Is the one side paying him?) I have to go back and watch - something is wrong.
Okay, I absolutely agree that no harm that has been done to any child, no matter their age should ever be covered up for the sake of money, reputation, or anything. Never! Every child is a gift from God.
We do not all sin the same sins. I have always said that sin is sin to God, but I do think some sins are worse than others. A just God likely does too. Jesus died for EVERY sin ...but if we will not humble ourselves and repent with godly sorrow, then, it really is on us.
Some refuse to see their sin or turn from it. Jesus did His part; sinners must repent (that was all of us at some point) - keep a repentant heart.
It is also wrong to ask false prophets or false teachers to call out people on their sins when the false prophets/teachers still insist on deceitful doctrines of their own. Sinners [false teachers] calling out sinners [covetousness, et al]? What a mess.
I have to hold my tongue right now because what I see angers me. On ONE hand, in the name of Jesus some people 'appear' or 'sound' very loving and understanding, but the other hand is holding all the stones. People do not SEE the stones because they are focused on what seems to be 'caring' but it is for a following. May God truly open people's eyes and ears.
How hard is it to pull away from a place where you were for only 26 days, as opposed to someone who had been there years? Please be honest. All in the name of 'good morals' and 'integrity', but in truth at times it was hard to tell if the pull-away was because of 'adultery' or because of a coverup that involved a child?
-=-=-=-=-===================-=======
STOP! I am wrong here...(had to interrupt at the point of my error, but I will explain after I let this original part be read - BP
ADDED January 7, 2025 - I have to add this part because I see where things are unclear. There seem to be some parts that are confusing to even me, and I wrote it
This is serious so I must stand up and mention where I am wrong, why I am wrong, and to apologize. There is one person that (to me) played the devil's advocate. Pretending to be on one side, then go over to the other side to 'interview' and literally betray the first ones who trusted you.
I have had time to put emotions aside, and think things through. Please understand also (and it is not an excuse, it is a sad fact, a reality) Due to my severe pain, I am on heavy medicine - morphine and codeine. It causes me to be more emotional than usual (which I dislike, and am praying constantly for the Lord to help me, and He is - He is astounding, and I am very grateful)
The medicine addresses the pain for the most part it does slow me down, including my thinking. But the Lord is ever faithful, and my constant companion. He most certainly corrects me if I make a mistake.
I flashed back to thirty-three years ago when I first saw a video (with Jonathan Lamb and his wife, Suzi. They are a young couple. I thought I heard Jonathan say he was 38, which was the age I was when my four-year-old was sexually molested. It occurred about 4 or 5 AM when the child was going to the washroom. Most of the house was asleep.
At first, the staff wanted to deal with it so the women's shelter would not get a bad reputation, but there was more concern about funding. The majority of funding came from private individuals, and certain local charities. New clothing, blankets, food, [donations] came from stores and major merchants. If the shelter became "unsafe", funding would go to another local shelter.
Meetings were held. Two of the staff members were angry at me (for not waking up at 4:00 or 5:00 am to take the four year old two doors up the hall to the washroom.] It was a 'women's shelter'. The responsibility did not lie with me. Staff was on duty 24 hours, but that night, the two women on shift had fallen asleep.
Protocol had to be followed. It was the law. I could not sit by and let the women shoo many similarities. The need for the money to keep the shelter going and the staff paid was the one hesitation.
It was a turbulent time for all. The perpetrator had no remorse. She denied her actions, but the child showed staff where she had buried a plastic playdough knife and had cut her arm, threatening to do harm to the child if she told anyone. There was other evidence.
I will share no more details, but I do hope that some way, some how, that woman eventually got help, and came to Jesus. It was 33 years ago.
When the Lord put the words 'betrayal' and 'Jezebel', near the beginning of the year, now I understand why. Now again, I did not know any of these souls before this scandalous affair took full stage.
Two things struck me instantly when I first heard the story. It was a video put out by Jonathan and Suzie Lamb. This whole thing is absolutely heartbreaking!
[1] My first thought is for the child. Has she been comforted in the way that she knows that none of what happened is her fault?
[2] Jonathan and Susie Lamb - these two young adults, is anyone standing by their side, helping them mentally, praying for them spiritually? This is Jonathan's mother, is it not?
How very painful to have your mother (or father) put their business or ministry before the family.
a) a grandchild is pushed aside at one of the darkest times in a child's life
b) a beloved son and his beloved wife have been lied to, have tried to honour the mother (and deceased father), but the Lord has led them to reveal the matter. They had prayed for any other way - but it was not to be. Selah
In November 2012, the Lord said: Now it Begins (day dafter Obama was re-elected). In early 2013, it came to me that it is was the "Time of Revealing". I named a website and a radio program after it. It would start slow and build momentum
People got wind of it (11 to 12 years later and call it Year of Exposure...to God be the glory, but did it come from God or is it merely observation because this has been going on for some years. Remember Benny Hinn and Paula White? 2010? Rob Bell? 2011 Jamie Coots? 2014? Carl Lentz, Hillsong? 2021?
El Shaddai has been exposing the truth all along, but with so much news happening, it sis easy to forget. There are many more, and we should grieve as we see the apostasy having begun almost 15 years ago. It was 2012/2013 that I received the "time of Revealing, but as we recall, it began before that.
It has been like the domino effect; the snowball effect where one push starts a thing moving, starting slowly, over time building momentum, until it continues on until no one can stop it except God Himself.
In this Chinese Year of the Dragon, at the beginning of the year, it was mentioned in the article by the same name how Satan will try to claim the year as his, but God has it in His control. We do not have to understand everything, we just have to trust Jesus...trust.
Do you uppose that I AM come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.
The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law. [Lk 12:51-53]
It was only about a year and a half ago that I started watching more people on YouTube. My reason before was so that I did not do the "social" part on YouTube so that it would not influence me if the Lord gave me a word.
I do not know if that was the right decision or not, but for over a year now, I watch others. It was 2004, that I got rid of my television set. It just seemed like it was mostly junk, and I was moving seriously toward Jesus/Yeshua. Things were slowly dropping off of me.
Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will continue it until the day of Jesus Christ. [Phil 1:6]
I draw a line. It just seemed like no care for the child, and more concern for the marriage and the ministry. There seems to be much anger by Marcus, and it is unclear w
Sin is sin. However, God's judgment is fair and just. He is right in all He does and in all He allows, whether we like it or not.
(NOTE*: This has been added January 7, 2025 - BP)
NOW I will explain a few things, as well as correct and clarify a few things. I had no idea that this would stir up old emotions that I thought I had dealt with. If I am in error, I will say so as soon as possible once discovered, or the Lord, who leads us in all truth, even if we step an inch off the right path, lets me know.
Okay, first the question up above about who had more rights, the person [myself] who knew the man five years, or someone who knew him and married him after two days? The answer is obvious, even if it is not the one I might want to hear.
Howbeit, the moment the man legally married the woman (two days or two minutes - it matters NOT), the wife automatically has ALL rights. (I lost all rights the moment he married her)
===I excused
my adultery those many years ago, when I was in that sin. I shared when. At the time I
justified it knowing sin cannot be justified! I convinced myself [and
certain others, mainly those excusing their own sins] that the 'married'
person was the real 'whore'...gasp!
After all, who has more rights, someone who knew the man and lived with
him for five years, or someone who knew the man and married him
after two days, having found a greedy justice of the peace who
agreed to backdate certain documents in order to make the marriage 'appear'
LEGAL?
(And you thought the writers for Hollywood movies 'overkilled' [over-did it at times] on the drama!) Only, this was not funny -
This was real people, living in a real world, being affected by real
sin! Shame on those who justify sins. God will bring justice, in His way,
and in His timing!
Married is married; adultery is adultery; sin is sin. Case closed...
Talk about deception and lies! And who is behind that?
Yes, Satan who TEMPTS the flesh, but who cannot force us to sin. Temptation is not a sin until it is acted upon. The choice to sin or not to sin lies solely with us. Even the living, sovereign God does not force us into anything. Satan works with the flesh - the flesh is at enmity with God. [Rom 8:7]
Firstly, out of five years that we knew each other, we were broken up more than we were together. Although people saw us as a "common-law couple" [worldly term], we actually might have lived together one year.
IF you add up all the times and days we spent separated, apart, broken up. It was a TOXIC, volatile relationship. If that was not bad enough, we were living in sin. We both were fornicators.
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does is without the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body. [1Cor 6:18]
Secondly, he married the woman. It matters NOT how long they knew each other. He married her. I was the 'whore' that eventually broke it up, when I went two provinces over to visit him, performed a "witchcraft" ritual, and became pregnant.
Thirdly, the one time Jesus/Yeshua appeared to me, He let me know that the man was NOT my husband. I disobeyed on all counts, and became spiritually blind. Imagine, idolatry added to adultery. What a wretched , miserable soul.
[NOTE*: This part added for the purpose of clarity.] I went knowing he was married. I had convinced myself that he still loved me, and would come to his senses when he saw me. He had lured me out with a phone call, telling me that he had made a mistake, that he did not love her, that I was the one he should have married.
I believed him, packed a few things, then hitchhiked two provinces away. God protected me. I told my first ride (a truck driver in an 18-wheeler semi-transport) told me that he had a daughter about my age and would want to know that people helped keep her safe, if she should ever be hitchhiking across Canada.
That kind driver got on his CB [Citizen Band] radio, and found another driver heading east that could take me further once he turned off the highway. He also gave me $20, which I was grateful for because I did not have any money. Desperate and messed up - that was me.
All the way from Vancouver to Saskatchewan, one driver linked me to the next driver until I reached my destination safely. One of the drivers had bought me a burger, fries, and a drink when he stopped for a meal himself. Every driver treated me with respect and kindness. I was so touched, so grateful. If that was not the hand of God protecting this selfish, wicked sinner, then I do not know what is.
When I was badly beaten and went to a church (after service hours and only staff there) for comfort and guidance, the pastor literally threw me out, believing that I had come to his church not as a broken woman, but as a demon-possessed wretch.
I thought God had rejected me that day when the pastor threw me out, but God did not. Ironically, He showed me love through total strangers, every one of them a family man; every one of them seemingly loyal husbands or boyfriends. Five rides got me across two provinces and to my destination. Today, I give glory to God through Jesus Christ!
Keep in mind the previous and more serious sins. I had rejected Jesus the day He came to visit...no fear of the Lord was in me. Not only was I a fool steeped in idolatry (choosing creation over the Creator), but I became spiritually blind.
It took a long time before I knew that. When I made my decision, I had seen the Lord fade in and out like Alka-Selzer® in water. However, the Lord was not having trouble remaining in this dimension or going back and forth, to give me time to change my mind, as I had originally thought. I was going spiritually blind due to rebellion.
I was the 29-year-old 'whore'; it was I who committed adultery. I had gone from a girlfriend to a mistress; from a fornicator to an idolater, to an adulteress.
Add to the mix, rebellion because the Lord had revealed to me when He had visited me just some weeks earlier that I was not to marry my ex-boyfriend; that he was not my husband.
Ephesians, chapter six has been twisted so severely that people
are warring against flesh and blood instead of against principalities, powers,
against spiritual wickedness in high places.
I had seen a silhouette of a man inside a box to my right, in a corner.
I did not recognize the outline, but I forced it (in my imagination) to
be my ex. That old Word of Faith false doctrine still haunted me, despite the
loss I encountered when I "named it and claimed it".
To top it off, I had discovered how to 'become pregnant" by
doing a small spell. (After the death of my first child, I was unable to get
pregnant for 10 years. There was no physical reason; there was a mental block
[fear]) I was desperate to keep the only 'love' I had ever known, which
obviously was not love.
The spell worked, and I became pregnant. (God is Sovereign. He allowed
it.) He has always shown Roman 8:28 to come alive in my life. The
child was a beautiful, healthy baby girl.
Only God knows the beginning from the end, and the end from the
beginning. Only Yahweh orchestrates things, and we may never understand all
things. She was born on October 31 - Hallowe'en. There was no
way I was ever going to forget the rejection and rebellion of Jesus Christ.
Only God could appoint the day of the child's birth.
Which woman was the adulteress, which one had rights? The one who knew him FIVE years, or the one who only knew him TWO days? Who was in the right? In five years, the man did not marry me. In two days, he married her. The marriage license gave her all the rights... immediately.
Which woman do you think Jesus considered the sinner? the one who committed an abomination? Which one loved the 'creation' more than the Creator?
Yes, I, Bonita, was that sinful, wretched woman who committed idolatry (my sin was against the Lord), and adultery, my sin hurt others, so selfish I was. Twenty-nine years old and an adulteress. I never again was with a married man again. You saw how I justified it but I was wrong.
We were told to be careful lest we think more highly of ourselves than we ought, or in case we forget where Yeshua brought us from, and what He forgave us for.
When I was married there were countless women my husband had flings with, thus defiling the wedding bed. Yes, my sin came back to slap me in the face when I was married. I had to learn and now know BOTH sides...and that is one reason I believe the Lord has me pray for marriages.
I know both sides and the damage it does, the destruction it causes. Satan is out to destroy everything he can that God created because everything God created was good.
One interviewer said they took it to God, but I believe the Sovereign God does not have a different answer to the same question for different people. He is not capricious. He does every thing decently and in order.
I am not a leader who was on the Daystar program, nor do I know the people. There are so many people entangled in the scandal, another hand in the pie is not needed.
Are the opinions, speculations, and conjectures of anther uninvolved (meaning never having even heard of Daystar before - my television became nonexistent in 2004) = what will my input change?
The people who used the program still have decisions to make. Jesse Duplantis said, something about the "fruit". Wallnau said something about "strife''. It is to the point I do not want to listen.
First it was DIDDY and all the "Christians" and "big-name celebs" involved...now it is Daystar. Distractions are swirling and so is the agenda for the lawless one. Now we have "prophets'' praying against
What is needed is prayer. Frankly (and it is my opinion only) People have focused more on the marriage and money spent than on the child whose world was turned upside down. What kind of words shuts a child up to the point they will not even talk about the incident to their parents anymore?
Satan is all over this. Prayer...is needed. That is what I will be doing in the background, unless otherwise instructed. Praying - there are more than enough people involved. Does everyone want their name to go down in Christian history? Is that why volumes want to get involved and invite this person and that person into an interview. For? Another opinion?
How many times do you "expose" the same sin over and over again? I see the people trying desperately to save the program. We hear the leaders being told to pull out, to speak up. Well, a few more have pulled away...one mentioning 'fruit' and the other 'strife'.
People teaching false doctrines are being asked to speak out against this, and I wonder where integrity begins and ends? Would Jesus condone speaking against adultery and misusing funds in one breath, and turn a blind eye to false doctrine with the other? Or do these "leaders" speaking out follow the Wolf (Word of Faith) doctrines and the NAR movement? It seems they do.
Laura-Lynn Tyler Thompson was the first to pull out of Daystar due to its "ethical deficits". Julie Roys of The Roys Report has done a splendid job at investigative reporting. This has not been easy for anyone with "true integrity" and "true transparency" to stand strong, but praise God for those in the Christian community who have had the parts to do so.
Tyler Thompson has presented well-rounded and candid reasons for her actions, mentioning the dear child who was abused, and recognizing the reality of how very difficult this has been on both Jonathan (Joni Lamb's son) and Suzie (wife of Jonathan, daughter-in-law of Joni).
Suzie admits how close her and Joni were at one point, very close, as she was with the other family members. They earnestly prayed that the Lord would show them another way to handle the entire situation, but this was the (hardest yet) best way. They obeyed the Lord and His Word.
The so-called integrity and transparency of Marcus Rogers is questionable, as he lured Jonathan and his wife Susie into an interview, on the pretense he was on their side. This is a man who claims to be a pastor. Then, he went to Joni Lamb and betrayed the young couple, whilst claiming he felt "the presence of God" at Daystar when he interviewed Joni.
He claims to be "the only one" for many things, but sadly, it seems to be more about him than about doing right biblically. His anger at people who critiqued him is quite obvious, and the language showed no respect for his listening audience (some of whom may have been young ones in the background). No respect...
May God indeed help this family. Satan has had a field day; however, we are in the days of the great falling away. May God give strength and wisdom to those who are walking obediently, according to His Word and His will. May Yahweh be glorified through Jesus when all is said and done. And may the little girl be healed in all areas, especially spiritually and mentally. Be honoured and glorified Jesus.
One does not have to be a Christian to know how tragic this is; how painful in so many areas. One needs only to be a realist and compassionate. But as a Christian, one does expect others to lead by example as we are taught to do so biblically. See 1 Pet 5:3; 2:21; 1 Tim 4:12 and Phil 2:3,4
I highly respected Baruch Korman of Love Israel, who stood the ground and explained exactly why scripturally leaders in the faith must stand by and on scripture as Jesus did. He spoke about marriage and adultery. He was straightforward without condemning. The Word of God convicts.
Korman's exact words were: “For us it was very clear, we cannot be who we are in the Messiah and take the positions we take in morality and in marriage and in stewardship, and continue to be associated with Daystar.”
Jesse Duplantis is Word of Faith majorly, right up there with Kenneth Copeland and Joyce Meyer. Kenneth Copeland has been mentioned as a leader who should speak out, but he has a poor reputation as a man of integrity, or as someone who has a healthy fear of the Lord.
Lance Wallnau is NAR, and in fact, had much to do with the Seven Mountain mandate. I disagree with NAR and the mandate, but this is not the time or place at the moment to get into it. God will lead to truth all who ask and wait on Him.
The attention is on this; and as witnessed, the whole world is in a mess, with war in the air, and witchcraft in the fog. May Yeshua/Jesus come quickly.
Some people [such as Marcus Rogers] are beginning to sound like:
Pharisee: “God, thank you that I am not like that “publican” over there (that Judas, manipulator, controller, greedy shepherd – fill in the blank).
[I cannot remember all Rogers spoke [rhetoric] against the young Lambs [Jonathan and Susie], but it did sound Pharisaical (hypocritically pious), and perhaps I should have said so right up front. Therefore, I correct it now.]
[End of addition, regarding Daystar and above commentary]
Back to When I was Involved in Sex Sins and More
I could not justify my sins back then, nor now. However, it was a long, long time [some decades, others, well over a decade ago] that I was involved in those things. Jesus took the shame and guilt when I confessed with godly sorrow. His Blood is precious to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness.
What would happen if Jesus appeared right now in the flesh and knelt down in front of us, and began writing in the dust and dirt? Would Rogers suddenly be quiet? Would his stones drop to the ground ("quietly")?
The older, "more experienced" ??? adults (which they so proudly like to say) need to step up to the plate and be accountable and responsible. Jesus was transparent, but He did not brag about it, or wear it like a badge -= PRIDE can be very bold, but it can also be very subtle.
It is written:
Let no man despise your youth; but be an EXAMPLE of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. [1 Tim 4:12]
"Welcome to my 20 million dollar humble farm. with great transparency, I will show you that I am the "only one" with golden gates on the pasture entrances, the shoes imported from Italy for my horses..." oh, not that kind of transparency?
Satan is after ALL of God's creation, everyone and every thing in God’s kingdom - so great is his hatred! ALL saints, so be on guard... you folks [pastors] who are so proud of your integrity and morals (whilst you betray those who trust in you...what integrity? what morals?]
I have had to make clear who I had in mind instead of dancing around and leaving it up to people's imaginations. Please forgive me. I was wrong to do that.
Too many interruptions (text messages, phone calls, son coming in to speak with me) has perhaps caused me to get the additional narrative in this article that I was adding to get mixed up in some portions. May God help me.
There is something else to consider, which I take no joy in announcing, but it may help some understand. Pain has increased with me, and as a result the doctor (a couple of months ago) added taking "morphine", along with the Tylenol with codeine. It does not make me "high", if anyone thinks that.
It is meant to address the pain, and it does help (does not eliminate it - it is like a Band-aid and keeps fresh 'air' off a tender wound, in a manner of speaking.) What it also does, sadly, is it 'slows down my thinking', in that sometimes it is like I am sitting in 'neutral'. It jumbles thoughts at times...and it makes me very fatigued.
I say all that because that is part of what I have been contending with these past two-and-a-half to three months out of the past five and a half. Yes, I did ask the Lord if He is removing me (I have asked that with every purging, or sifting, shaking or trial)
The last thing I want to do (as I mentioned to a dear close friend and sister-in-Christ) is to wrestle with the Lord (or any angel of the Lord) as Jacob did. Truly, I am finally, wholly surrendered to the King, my Lord, and I desire only His will. It is the best because He is the best, and His thoughts toward us are good only.
Perhaps now the reader can see why my mission has been dealing with warnings of witchcraft, why 'balance' is crucial , and keeping everything in alignment with the Word of God a 'must'. This was the whole reason behind giving testimony.
Most importantly, first and foremost, is keeping God first, through Jesus. He will not disappoint. We may think He does if what He does is not what we hoped for or what we wanted, but He truly does know best. He is coming soon, and all of this will be over. His children can barely wait!
Another thing, for 25 years, the Lord has had me stand in the gap for the protection of marriages, not only for the couples, but for their children. This spiritual war has been intensified as the lawless one eagerly awaits his throne, where he will witness the lost world bow down and worship him.
The other thing I pray about is deception. With the internet and all the places to gain information, I can see why Yeshua/Jesus said that even the elect will be deceived if possible.
The false teachers and false prophets can read articles, read 'comments', rub shoulders with informants (both in the government, the military, and church) to gain information to "prophesy". They can glean from the websites of true children of light and find out what NOT to say or do as a "false" one.
The Wolves Speak in "Christian" Language
Cliche: It is not what you say, but how you say it.
They have the "tree of knowledge of good and evil" at the click of a mouse - just like grabbing fruit off the tree. May God give us deeper discernment by cleaving to Jesus, and by staying close to the Holy Spirit.
Jesus the Messiah (Yeshua the Christ) was not into fearmongering. If He made a point of mentioning how EASY it will be to be deceived in these days, He ahs good cause. Let us seriously pray for ourselves, and be on guard against the wolves.
The wolves are so deceptive that we could easily be tricked. They will tell us their intent and lies, and it will sound like a good thing. Please allow me to explain.
The young woman who made a fortune for her masters with her ACCURATE predictions with the python spirit (Python in Greek means divination). The accuracy of the spirit brought in a lot of money. She shouted loudly to the people:
These men are children of the Most High God who show US the way unto salvation. (the demon even had the audacity to say "they show US'' the way to be saved...[Acts 16:17]
(Sounds "Christian"; sounds 'holy'; sounds like she too is pointing to Jesus, or at least to God, doesn't it? Paul discerned, and cast the demon OUT of her.)
Satan uses the same words, juggles them just enough to change the whole meaning.
EXAMPLE:
Original words >>> fluoride-free (means somethings has NO FLUORIDE)
Counterfeit word:
Satan juggles >>> free fluoride (means [for you] FLUORIDE is FREE)
That is just how easily Satan can change Jesus' words. People say "but they (false prophets/teachers) are using scripture. That is an example of word manipulation.
[NOTE*: I was speaking to my son about the above example, and he was silent for a few moments when I shared it. Then, in a non-challenging way, but more in an inquisitive, "searching" kind of way, he stated, "But the two are opposite."
I smiled, "Exactly, because Satan 'opposes' Christ - there's the twist, It's so subtle.' My son smiled back, silently...[Was he 'opposing' my example? lol] Hurries away before 'overthink' kicks in.
Be on guard, true brethren of the living God. Satan and his false teachers/prophets are not afraid to use the words of Jesus. They must use it as part of their trickery. May the Holy Spirit quicken truth and the Word within us
Beware! The wolf will speak truth but it is cloaked in deception. For example:
When the wolf says they are PRAYING for you, believe them.
The deception is that they are PREYING!
We have to practice taking every single thing to the Lord, then wait. I say practice because it is not easy. I still practice - and sometimes forget.
Spoken and shared with and in the love of Christ, no whitewashing.
[End of this part of addition, apologies for some repetition BP--Jan.7.2025]
About Jesus' Visit
(It was actually the second time Jesus-Yeshua came to me, but the first time was so different. In the Catholic orphanage, we were taught to pray to Mary. There was a statue of Mary on the landing. There were a few stairs, then a landing, and then perhaps 15? (a number anyway)) of stairs that veered to the right and took the children to the dormitories.
On the landing was a huge statue of Mary. At six years old, she was a giant, but in reality, the statue was likely seven or eight feet tall. One day when I was alone, sitting on the floor, banging my head gently against the wall, crying, "I want my mommy...I want my mommy," I had gotten up and was crying on (yes, on) the feet of Mary the statue.
My long hair wiped off the tears, slobber, and snot, that I had gotten on the feet. As I looked up to Mary's face, suddenly, her eyes moved. They were eyes of fire. It cannot be explained, and I heard no voice just then, but I knew the fiery red eyes belonged to Jesus. I was aware of my mouth falling open. As I backed up to get a better look, I stumbled and my heels bumped up against the stairs and I landed flat on my buttocks.
It was right then and there, from that point on, that I realized that Mary was empty inside. That is how Jesus was able to hide inside of her and I could only see His eyes through her eyes.
Then, all I heard, not audibly with my physical ears, but with spiritual ears was: "Even when You do not see Me, I AM always with you."
I do not think I ever prayed or knelt at the feet of a statue again, since Jesus came to me in that way - If I did, it would only have been at the orphanage and the nuns told us too, but no memory returns of it. Yet, I do remember that it was at that time that I understood or believed that all statues were empty inside. About Sin
Be careful if you say you have no sin. With this flesh, it will be a daily battle until we enter our new, glorified bodies. For now, it is a daily cross walk.
But if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His Word is not in us. [1Jn 1:9-10]
It is true, we strive daily to keep this flesh upon the cross, in the overcoming position - but it is corrupted flesh. It shall be until the day we die, we are raptured or resurrected, as mentioned in the holy scriptures, whatever comes first.
We see the falling away building momentum like the domino effect that Jesus spoke about in 2008, when He gave me the message: We Overcome
Friends...He is SOON returning - the return is imminent. Let us be on guard, endeavoring to help one another, sending out the warnings, exposing (we do not want blood on our hands), snatching the blind away from the fire.
Please see what is happening, take it from a stranger, who knew or knows none of those involved - I only share a common ground with the young couple with what they suffered knowing what happened to their precious, innocent, young child...
But beware, how very easy it all is to become gossip. Can you not see? With some, it is becoming unbalanced with the competitive platform mentality...a snare of the enemy (he is still offering those kingdoms in the world, you know, but now I think they are called platforms (yet a kingdom)) Do not fall for it, no matter how tempting financially, or in offering power, control, monetary gain, or popularity.
Jesus would have no part of it ("You shall not tempt the Lord your God", Yeshua told Satan firmly. Do not be one who wonders who can come out with the tastiest morsel yet, and still hold fast to your honour and in glorifying God through Jesus?
 |
| 1 million temptations! Satan is still offering kingdoms - the landscape looks a little different, but it is faster ...to carry out your greater exploits! |
Beware of the wolves who pray (they tell the truth, they will pray but its PREY, so you can see how holy they are, and with vain repetition, they have long prayers...
Frankly, there are those who I will not call brethren, unless they repent. We have to come to that place, every one of us, when we DO mess up and sin.
 |
| Jesus foretold and forewarned |
We may of had it all wrong? This may actually be what Jesus meant when He spoke about hearts growing harder, and love waxing cold.
Please understand. I believe the Word to expose WHEN led...yes, the Word is clear. We have to. It is with great gratitude when I hear of something as a warning, and it is heard in a timely fashion. Glory to God. We help each other.
And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove (expose, rebuke, scold, reprimand) them. [Eph 5:11]
But be careful that too much 'pleasure' and 'self-righteousness' does not overtake us as we expose...and how many times must the sin be repeated? Be careful it is not the same information with a zillion different titles to bring people in. Be careful that more focus is on the latest news, than on our King and His return, and the lost souls still out there.
It is always a difficult thing when people keep harping on your sin. Is God acting too slow? Surely He knows what He is doing.
Be careful is all I am saying. Let God or others honour us, but let us not honour ourselves by speaking about how 'godly' or being 'the only one', or any other patting self on the back, whilst boldly announcing the sins of others.
Remember the Pharisee and the publican.
Pharisee: God, thank you that I'm not like that one>>> over there (that blogger, Bonita). I give, I tithe, I fast, I prophesy, I have a ministry that helps thousands...I've got clout and class Did you see her past? Whew, what a messed up woman she was, maybe still is. I mean, she was a fornicator, adulterer, drug addict, smoker, what didn't she do? Thank You God that I am not like her!
Bonita: Father, I have sinned; heaven's ashamed, and I am not worthy to carry Your good name. And even so, Lord, You still brought me out of the pig pen where I wallowed in the mire. I see Your nail-pierced, bloodstained hands wiping away not only my tears but those of others. How great is Your compassion and love. Thank You for not giving up on me...on us, but mostly, thank You for forgiveness not only for me, but for all of us who have faith in You and Your grace and mercy. Thank You holy One...
Bless all those who wait upon You, Yeshua/Jesus, precious Lord.
And therefore will the Lord wait, that He may be gracious unto you, and therefore will HE be exalted, that He may have mercy upon you: for the LORD is a God of judgment: blessed are ALL they that wait for Him. [Is 30:18]
I took out much of this because it was more a rant toward one person, who I hope repents because he is a pastor. I leave some...it is doubted he will see it, but one never knows. It is not about our works...and just are minder. We are part of a body, not a single unit. We need the entire body, so we can be whole.
Fellowship is something I truly miss and long for, but it is very difficult to get out and walk anywhere.
This life is temporal. Justice will be served by a living God of judgement and justice.
Mean it when you pray, in judgment, remember mercy. It took me awhile, and there really is no way I could do it without Jesus, but I surely prayed to God to forgive those who came against the family, and against me. But watch and see, there will be times (and it IS scriptural, where the Lord may tell you NOT to pray for someone because He is going to deal with them His way.
See Jeremiah 7:16 and 11:14. God knows what He is doing. We either trust that or we do not. I choose to trust. It took me a long time to do so, but His patience and agape love won my heart.
I had to go through the process a few times before forgiveness for some was genuine, sincere, but I do not want Satan to have all the souls he wants. The Holy Spirit helps us. Jesus is our Advocate, and intercedes on our behalf. He truly does...I know because there is no way I could have forgiven if He had not.
But Yeshua prays that our faith does not fail us. I did ask if He would remember mercy in His judgment because I remember how LONG and how HARD He had to work with me. He is STILL doing a work in me, and in you, and in all of His people. It is good if He did not have to do so much with you. It is still to HIS glory though, as your Creator.
Remember "those people"... (the Pharisee's attitude against the publican)
But this is a people robbed and spoiled; they are all of them snared in holes, and they are hid in prison houses: they are for a prey, and none delivers, for a spoil, and none say, RESTORE. [Is 42:22]
Let us pray for restoration. This is something else I have prayed since 2005 (wow, 20 years. Gulp...I'm starting to feel antiquated. lol)
Who among you will give ear to this? who will hearken [listen] and hear for the time is come? God will avenge; He is the strength in every battle. He will satisfy His wrath and bring justice.
Please Remember
We must continue to expose the wolves...who tell you the truth when they say they ARE praying for you...but it is not as you think.
It is PREYING, not PRAYING!
Be careful, sheep. The PREDATOR is PREYING. That is how Satan twists words.
If God said: Fluoride-free
Satan would say the same thing, with a twist.
Free fluoride.
Two exact same words, only opposed to each other: fluoride-free == free fluoride
Fluoride-free (contains no fluoride) vs free fluoride (get fluoride for free)
One little twist changes the entire meaning, and THAT is how subtle, clever and cunning Satan is, just as Jesus-Yeshua forewarned.
This is spoken in truth and love because God is God, and you are His creation. Let us bring glory to His name...even when it is hard; even when we do not understand. Shalom in Christ
in His love and in His service
for His glory alone
Bonita dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com
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