(NOTE: I will add pictures tomorrow (Sunday). I am very tired right now. Be much blessed - BP)
screenshot--credit_Yuang Xu
The Love that Strengthens and Never Fails
With the
help of the precious and Holy Spirit, I put together a little heartfelt package
to inspire, encourage and help others, God willing. It reflects where I’ve been
spiritually, fighting hard – alone with Jesus. It is good to have a friend or
two who understand, but Jesus is the friend we ALL need. He never
wearies or tires of us…unless we are ungrateful complainers, or worse.
Even then,
He will draw us to steer us toward repentance so that He can forgive us.
However, He never forces anyone, and He will not contend forever.
When
darkness surrounds the soul, there is a silent knowing that other brethren are
going through the same thing. It doesn’t need to be spoken, but it does help to
talk things out. Sometimes everyone needs comfort, needs to be heard, needs to
be understood.
We are in a
real war, and the enemy is relentless. His fury is immeasurable; his hatred is
bloodthirsty and insatiable. Yet, we have an Advocate who has overcome the enemy
and has overcome the world. [Jn 16:33] We all long for the days that this
spiritual war with Satan/Lucifer and his legions is finally over. Christ is the
Victor.
We are one
“Body” in Christ Jesus (Yeshua), who is the Head. The Body
cannot exist or live without the Head – how beautiful and wise are the ways of
the Lord.
A Raging
Battle
When we pass
through turbulent waters churning up waves of hopelessness, or stand in the
fiery furnace of the world’s most heated troubles vicious tyrants, we can be
confident that the same Lord God (Adonai) who assured us that He is the same
yesterday, today, and forever [Heb 13:8] still stays very close to us, even in
His silence.
When you
pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the
rivers, they shall not overflow you: when you walk through the
fire, you shall not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle
upon you. [Is 43:2] KJV
I was
looking for a song, one of the old-fashioned hymns…like the Old Rugged
Cross, or It Is Well (With My Soul). There was a
need to think of the Lord through music, and to worship Him. I wanted my heart
to be grateful, not wallowing in self-pity. Amazing Grace popped up, but just
before I clicked upon the familiar version, an extended title caught my eye. It said, ‘Amazing Grace Fell Like Rain’.
Intriguing.
I searched
out the title and lyrics, and in truth, I could easily echo the words. How many
times does one go through a dark night of the soul? It depends on the soul,
depends on the number of times a tragedy in life or a spiritual crisis has struck.
It depends on several things.
Now for a
true confession. Depression is something I have fought for a long time, off and
on throughout my life, but now there is Jesus. He makes all things bearable. The
garment of praise is worn for the spirit of heaviness, yet like a trustworthy boomerang,
and for reasons unknown, depression returns. Praise Jesus for being a solid Rock.
Despite all
that, there is a joy knowing Jesus. He truly is an unexplainable strength,
wholly reliable. He is our hope, our strong tower, our shield. He is everything
good.
Below I
will post the lyrics that summed up a fair amount of what has going on within
me, deep below the surface (or perhaps, not so deep) … I am extremely
grateful to have a good friend in the flesh.
Yet in the
Spirit, Jesus can be the best friend of any who will draw close
and abide in Him (be one in Him, and He in you), just as He was
in the Father, and Abba (the Father) was in Jesus.
We Must
Learn to Trust
Trust in
the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all
your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. [Prov 3:5,
6]
This flesh will
remain imperfect until the day we are changed [all born-again believers],
in the twinkling of the eye z], the day of resurrection or rapture, whichever the Lord chooses.
The best
thing I ever did was to finally surrender, wholly, gladly! Commitment was
not surrender, but I did not differentiate. Surrender would be the best move anyone
(including you) can make too.
If you have
already – bravo! Whether I want to or not, I will let you down. They will let you
down (disappoint/fail), and you will let them down too. Yet I can
confidently say that Yeshua (our Jesus) will never let you down.
Sure,
guaranteed; there will be times in this life that stuff happens and we don’t
get why God did not stop it, especially when we know He surely could have. We
read the Word and we think we understand and know God, but then something
happens in our life, and we cry out, “Why!? Why didn’t You do
something?!”
We might
wonder what we did to deserve this “punishment” because it might ‘feel’
like He is displeased with us and that is why this tragedy has happened. The heart
is searched for sin, any sin, all sin. We think He must be punishing us. Why
else must we suffer with pain [whether internal, external, or both] so
long. Or why else are some of us unable to walk; some unable to move, or others
still unable to see, or hear or, or, or... We may accuse Jesus/God of being
unfair, unjust, or worse, unloving.
We may ask
Him to bring a certain person back and to take us, but God does not roll that
way. El Shaddai, God Almighty – Yahweh – He is good and His mercy does endure
forever. The day will come when we will understand, but maybe, not now.
Let the
wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him
return to the LORD [Adonai], and He will have mercy upon him;
and to our God [Yahweh], for He will abundantly pardon.
For My
thoughts are not your thoughts; neither are your ways My ways, declares the
Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than
your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. [Is 55:8]
Perhaps you
have not had anything happen to you in life that would bring you to that desperate,
frustrated, and perhaps, even if momentarily, that angry
point in time with your Creator, the true living God that you have loved and
served.
Guard your
healthy fear of the Lord. Respect that He is GOD, and there is no other.
He is the true, living God, and He always has a remnant, always. Ask
forgiveness if your emotions caused you to be rude, disrespectful, or a
complainer and grumbler.
Casting
down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the
knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of
Christ; [2Cor 10:5]
Jesus IS
merciful. He will forgive and not bring it back up. [Micah 7:19] As people we
tend to ‘forgive’, but we do not forget. Some still have animosity whenever
they think of the person who did them wrong (that’s not forgiveness),
especially if you bring it back up when you become angry at something again.
Let it go,
and truly trust God to take care of it, in His way, and in His timing. That can
be hard, I know. We may learn “why” further up the road, or we may not learn
why until we meet Him in heaven. Will anything on earth seem important once we
leave these earthen vessels, and leave the only ‘home’ (earth) that we
have ever known?
He can be
trusted to do the best for us in the long-run.
At the end, I will provide the link to the song.
For now, these are the lyrics.
Amazing
Grace Fell Like Rain
I was
carrying a thousand worries, like stones inside my chest
Smiling
thru the pain of living, but my soul could find no rest
I had
wandered thru the silence, far from who I used to be
Then a
quiet voice in darkness said, “My child, come back to Me”
And when
the night felt endless, I felt mercy hold my hand.
Amazing
grace fell like rain on the driest parts of me
When my
heart forgot its purpose, You still saw what I could be
Amazing
grace gave me peace, when my world was torn apart
And the
love I could not find here, You planted in my heart
There were
battles no one noticed hidden deep behind my smile
I was
losing faith in tomorrow, walking empty mile by mile
But you
never stopped pursuing, even when I turned away
Thru the
sorrow and confusion, you were lighting up my way
When I
thought the road was over, heaven whispered through my pain
Amazing
grace fell like rain on the driest parts of me
When my
heart forgot its purpose, You still saw what I could be
Amazing
grace gave me peace, when my world was torn apart
And the
love I could not find here, You planted in my heart
You were
there inside the silence; You were there inside the storm
When I
thought that I was broken, You were making something more
Not
perfection, not religion, just a love that set me free
And the
mercy I was chasing was already chasing me
Amazing
grace came beside me, when the fear was closing in
Be my
shelter thru the valley, be my strength when I feel weak
Amazing
grace lead me home, when these tired eyes finally see
That the
peace I searched forever was You walking next to me
Was You
walking next to me
Amazing
grace…You never stopped loving me
Never
stopped loving me
Never
stopped loving me
-===============================
By Mikhail
Bennett, Rose Bennett, Christian Grace
Released July
2026
-===============================================
True
Confessions…and That’s Okay 
I shared
some things I do not typically share [depression], but there are others
who suffer silently too. Thanks in part to the prosperity gospel, there are
those who believe that a Christian is not meant to be depressed, not meant to
have any sickness, not meant to live at poverty level, not ever question their
faith or any other critical question.
That is not
realistic. The prosperity gospel, in part, is responsible. The enemies of the
cross plant their seeds of deception as well. But we serve the most incredible
God. There are no adequate words to describe either Jesus or the Sovereign,
Providential Yahweh.
For a
couple of decades, I have tried to describe Him, but this writer has not been
successful in it [smiles – I am in good company, I hear]. He is dependable, and always has a listening
ear.
Dark Night
of the Soul
That being
said, I recently went through what has been named from centuries ago as a “dark
night of the soul”. It is surely not the first time, but I pray it is the
last. This dark night is a time when a war-weary soul hits a dark period,
completely exhausted – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually – from life’s
battles, which are at times daily.
The struggles
deep within are confusing and painful, a time that one goes through very much
alone (more often than not), feeling abandoned by a world void of
understanding or compassion. It is a time that a mask might go on, one that
convinces observers that everything is okay. We may share events or things that
are happening with a trusted friend, but keep the turmoil churning inside to
ourselves.
PASS the
TEST
We want
people to know God is good, and He definitely is, but we may be struggling with
hopelessness and misunderstanding of the Lord’s ways, which is devastating to
our spirit. We want to appear strong, but feel the weakest we have ever felt.
We do not
want to be a hypocrite, but at the same time, we do not want to complain, or
worse yet, we do not want to trip others up, and discourage them. So, we carry
the burden alone, not knowing what to say to our precious Lord.
People
believe you are strong, when inside you feel so weak. As a Christian, one wants
to show few, if any, can see past what is usually expressed as anger, or
stress, or busyness…or even depression. Few see it as the crisis it is, where
the soul is experiencing a type of dismantling, a deep emotional pain, a
disconnect from the world, from others, and – even from God.
We might
feel crazy with the mixture of emotions and pretending to be stronger than we
are, but we are not crazy…at least, we hope we are not. What it does mean is
that we are going through a purging. Things that are not of God are being
exposed and the dross is surfacing.
Growing
pains are a reality. It is not a physical pain, but it is a very deep, harsh
pain. Our faith is being tested. It is being tried more than it ever has been
before. I have spoken in the past about Job, and Abraham, and Moses, and
Joseph.
I posted a
scripture that helps us to remember that Jus as a Samurai sword is tested
before it is used in battle, so our faith is tried (tested) to see if we will
stand, and having done all…to stand.
He sent a
man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a servant: Whose feet they hurt
with fetters: he was laid in iron: Until the time that his word (promise) came:
the word of the LORD (Adonai/Yahweh) tried (tested) him. [Ps
105:17-19]
Many give
up at this point. I know I almost did. Not on Jesus, not on God, but on any
hope of glorifying Him, or doing something that will please Him, or the
promises I believe to come to fruition, or even staying strong to the end.
Help me,
Lord. I can’t take any more. Why, why must I go through this? What have I done?
Why won’t it end? Surely I am being punished for something and I don’t know
what. I know I have attitude sometimes; or a curse word slips out. I hate when
my mouth shames me.
I am
surrounded by those who cuss. I grew up with it, spoke it, ahh Lord, help me to
be what You want me to be. Help me to make it to the end. I love You Lord. You
ARE good. You have done so much for me. (And the tears fall…endlessly. Save me
from myself, Lord.)
The pain is
daily, unable to walk far. Stairs are a killer. I imprison myself, rarely going
out because four stairs bring great pain. Lord, I know others suffer so much
more, but I can’t compare myself to others, Lord. I can’t… But like Paul, I do
things I do not want to do, and do not do the things I should.
I do not understand
my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now
it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
For I know
that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to
do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. [Rom 7:15-18] ESV (English Standard
Version)
Fight the
Good Fight
It’s a dark
night where it is hard to see anything clearly. A wondering of purpose, an
aloneness, a sense that no one understands, a horribly lonely feeling. It is a
type of inner breakdown, a deep searching of the soul – a painful purging.
When a
person is in that dark night, they deal with thoughts and feelings of guilt,
shame, fear, and yes, anger. It is not meant to be a time of destruction, but a
time for new beginnings, new strength, new wisdom, new growth…no matter the
age.
A loving
parent longs to help their child when if they even suspect their child is going
through a dark night of the soul. But it is like the butterfly struggling to
come out of the cocoon. If the butterfly is helped, or if someone peels open
the chrysalis early, the limbs can be torn or become deformed.
When the
butterfly breaks free, it has to hang upside down immediately. It is so their
little heart can pump fluid into the wings so they will expand. If someone
handles the butterfly as soon as it comes out, they could cause it to die
because without hanging upside down the wings will dry and harden. The wings
will dry and shrivel up; it will never fly and it will die.
When a
person comes out of a dark night of the soul, they may feel disoriented
slightly (like things are upside down), but it is for our own good. That
is usually when God is quiet…and some may think He does not care, or for
others, that He is not real. But He does care, and He is real.
I sent this
to each of my children (now grown adults), and said to them:
I believe
you can relate to this song. As your mother, I want you to know I love you
deeply, ever since the moment you came out of my womb and I first laid eyes
upon you, and held you in my arms. You have become a fine person – each one of
you, different, yet one of you, such a gift to me (a gift undeserved, but
grateful I am)
I made so
many mistakes; I did my best with no backup. Its too bad because I believed in
God/Jesus all my life, but didn’t really have a solid relationship with Him.
When I lost all of you in 1994 that time that I was in the hospital for a month,
after a night of abuse with your father, I turned to Jesus – but with the wrong
motive. I didn’t turn to Him to repent of my sins, but so that I could get my
children back.
He is so
patient, so good, He never forces Himself on us. He wants people to come
willingly. He’s amazing…
May this
song minister to you as it did me
The “names”
attached as the writers and singers of the song are fictitious AI characters.
They are not real people. And the video that someone put together is totally AI-generated.
Then they put it on YouTube (and probably TikTok, Facebook or whatever).
AI
characters and AI videos totally annoy me. I just do not like them, but I like
this song.
Be much
blessed, my child. I love you for always, I love you forever; as long as I’m
living, my baby you will be. (heart)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcl9DEbHfak&list=RDGIdMoa2zTVw&index=2
for His glory alone
Bonita dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com
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