(MORE WAS ADDED January 3, 2025)
NOTE: This article has been updated as there were some minuscule errors in this post that needed to be addressed. Spelling, grammatical errors, unfinished sentences, and other minor issues that may have interrupted reading pleasure.
*Correction*: I have added more material to what was originally posted a couple of days ago. Updating was necessary: editing and (in parts) a more informative narrative was added on January 3, 2025
Your understanding has been appreciated - BP)
It IS About Jesus AND “You”!
Readers will soon notice that portions of my testimony
will be sprinkled randomly throughout these writings. A person typically needs to mention ‘themselves’ whenever testimonies or eyewitness
accounts are given, even when the intent is to glorify Jesus,
as He so richly deserves.
When people say, “It’s not about you”, are they
including testimonies? Is that an ambiguous statement? I do not know how anyone
leaves themselves out of their testimony?
Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you do not receive our testimony. [witness] [Jn 3:11]
For years, I have heard those words spoken repetitively by so many that they have become cliché. They have almost lost their original intent and value and instead become annoying. I know I am not the only one weary of hearing them. Are the words spoken by the “righteous” or “religious”?
One will parrot another, then the next one hears the words,
flies with them, and so forth, traveling speedily along some invisible
communication line. I cannot fathom Yeshua/Jesus, any apostles, or ancient
prophets mentioning or even saying those words to the multitudes.
Who knows where it started but it is now global, thanks
to the internet, podcasts, news feeds with multiple articles and videos, articles
(uh huh), social media outlets, and public events. It is repeated by various
age groups in nearly every area and in all walks of life, not just in religious
circles.
I can hear it now. “Yes, I would like to share my
testimony with you, friends, but due to a lack of interest, neither “you” or “I”
will be in it. There will be a lot of blank spots or empty spaces but hopefully
you can somehow connect the dots together from what is mentioned.” lol
Can you imagine? There has to be a “you” in an eyewitness
account; in a testimony…somewhere, anywhere. That was what I call a stress-reliever,
friends, a tension-breaker. Worth the smile that every one of us needs.
All joking aside, let us move forward.
Sometimes the same people who remark, “it’s not about
you” are also heard to say how much they enjoy hearing the testimonies of
others. To hear others share their stories is something I myself delight in hearing
because it helps me to know the Creator, our Saviour better.
Eyewitness accounts expand and deepen my understanding of
God’s character and His unique and creative ways. With His personal involvement
and agape love in each solitary, intimate relationship, Yahweh has the unparalleled
ability to make each individual feel like an only child [special/treasured].
When we speak about and reveal the sinfulness and impurity of our own pathetic fallen nature, the holiness and radiance of God shine forth. As long as we are in these bodies of flesh and blood, we are stuck with the 'inherited' fallen nature (inherited from Adam, which he took ownership of in the 'fall of mankind' from our original, created, glorified state we enjoyed before Adam disobeyed and sinned).
It is my hope, desire and prayer that others will be helped if they have been (or are) experiencing unbelievable pressure, confusion, an ‘overkill’ of activities for the past while, unparalleled resistance in the spiritual and at times, in the physical, as well as an overall weariness. We all need encouragement at various times throughout our life - even those we consider the most confident and the strongest.
I have been hearing about weariness for a few years now –
and the Lord has mentioned how weary His people are in past
messages some years back. I have said that I believe what people are
experiencing now in the way of weariness is a precursor to what the
prophet Daniel forewarned about when he was foretelling about one who will
arise and speak against the Most High and wear down the saints of
the Most High. [Dan 7:25]
Each Battle More Challenging
These past five months have been an overwhelming time of
activity, nonstop – and not just for me. Others, including my son (who
believes in Jesus, but committed? I do not know for sure) have also
mentioned the strangest time where everything is hindered, disrupted, interrupted,
or delayed.
Even if I wanted to turn something down or postpone a
matter, I could not. It has been absolutely incredulous. It can (and has) involved
family, friends, or others [neighbours] close to me, or even strangers.
Nearly everything has seemingly been entangled together. Barely
a sidestep can be taken. It is full frontal, face-on. It has been almost
impossible to accomplish one thing without it directly messing up a connecting
matter – even if I wanted to avoid something, I could not.
It touched on all areas; physically, mentally,
emotionally, spiritually. It has been a challenge – even beyond that. At times,
I just broke down and wept. How much is one person supposed to take? Constantly
I would be thanking the Lord, but then turning again to ask for more of His
strength, more of His help. He never failed. He silently, immediately helped.
I am not a super-Christian, and o Lord, I do not want to
complain – but it has been so difficult, so nonstop. It feels like one is
fighting the whole world, the devil and his armies, the flesh – everything.
It seems insane. At the most inopportune times, I lose my
patience, and become irritated – it just seems like things surface in me that I do
not like – because the challenges are constant; the pain is real; the painkillers
(and pain) have caused me to be moody.
It just will not stop. It is not all witchcraft, or
flesh, or the world, but a combination. Sometimes it is more one than another,
but it seems divided. I find myself ever before the Lord. Why is this flesh so
corrupted?
Test of Endurance
If you have been consistent in checking in for a post, firstly,
congratulations! You have passed the ‘test of endurance’. (appreciative
smile) Secondly, the Lord has placed persistence within your soul, an
ability to persevere.
You have strength of mind and character – that is a
good quality, a gift from God. Remember that the next time you doubt yourself!
Either that or like me, you can be particularly stubborn. (lol) Let’s just stick
with perseverance and strength of mind, shall we?
On a serious note, there certainly was no intent on my
part to ‘test’ anyone with slow or zilch posting. My apologies if
there were any disappointments, but with the volumes of good writing and
attention-grabbing videos on the ‘net’ these days, I am sure
disappointment was short-lived or sparse, which is a good thing! I think Romans
8:28 summarizes it best, despite outward appearances. God is ruler over all.
The troubles and challenges (which are understatements
for the worst days) that continued to keep me from posting an article regularly
after July 27th (except only three posts after
July until now, December 31, 2024, with none since October])
have frustrated me to the point of exasperation.
I fought and fought, trying repeatedly to get something
posted in between the hindrances, interruptions, interference, delays, and
distractions. Yet time and again, I was sideswiped and could not get anywhere near anything being accomplished.
The number of times I started, trying to explain without overwhelming
the reader seemed fruitless. However, to accurately warn about the severity and
intent of Satan/Lucifer to bring utter destruction to all that belongs to El
Shaddai [God Almighty] is critical to understand.
As dedicated followers of Jesus Christ (Yeshua Messiah)
we are eagerly looking for His return, the signs are all around leading to the
revealing of the son of perdition. And Satan has his agents in the flesh, and
his legions in the spirit (demonic) who are anxiously pushing the agenda
to set up the beast system and bring in their false Christ.
The global elite have programmed the minds of the lost and
the greedy and blinded eyes so that they gladly receive the deceiver who will
promise to bring solutions to the problems, settle down the chaos, and rid the
world of deception and lies.
Satan’s Deep Hatred for All of God’s Creation
– Destruction is His Goal
There is no room for error. Too many of God’s people are not
taking witchcraft and spiritual warfare seriously enough, OR they go to
the other extreme. On the other hand, there has been “overkill”
in the reality of spiritual warfare, critically (dangerously) straying
from the biblical doctrine [teaching] that is sprinkled throughout
scripture.
Some make it out to be a game, stomping and dancing on the devil’s head, as if Satan has no power at all and is afraid of “Christians” who have obviously strayed from the Word of God or have clearly misunderstood scriptures. If Satan had no power at all, one-third of the angels would not have rebelled with him, no matter how convincing his words were. And Satan would have no worshippers.
Even the archangel and powerful warrior angel Michael,
when he was in a dispute with Satan over Moses’ body did not jump and dance around
him, or attempt to stomp on his head as if he were a weak plaything.
Neither did Michael accuse, slander, or ridicule him, according
to scripture, but left it up to the Lord to handle Satan. I can promise you
this. It is no game, especially if you are not saved. Even Job trembled.
Fear
came upon me, and trembling,
which made all my bones to shake.
Then a spirit passed before my face; the hair
of my flesh stood up: It stood still, but
I could not discern the form thereof: an
image was
before my eyes, there was silence, […]
[Job 4:14-16]
I am going to share a story. One reason amongst a few
others, is why people need to know that the demonic realm is real. I would fear it [demonic/spiritual realm, spiritual warfare, witchcraft] IF I did not know Jesus, but when we are following the Good Shepherd and belong
to Him, we need only to trust in Him.
When I wrote my testimony, I called it: First the
Inside of the Cup. In it, I wrote about a visitation I had from a demon.
Was it Satan? I do not know, but I believe it was a ‘prince’, a ‘principality’.
Sometimes I called it the “spirit of death” and you will see why
as I testify. Keep in mind please, I was not saved at the time this all transpired.
I remember being absolutely petrified. The memory is as
fresh today as it was the day it happened. This is the testimony of that visit.
[Again] Before I was saved, a demon entered my bedroom in the
dark of night – it was very late (or you could say, very early, in the wee hours of the morning).
The room grew noticeably darker. The evil spirit stood at the left side of the
bed, covered in a dark cloak. I would say it was hooded because the cloak
seemed to cover his head, but everything was so dark.
Cunningly Destroying All He Came Near
I could not see this demonic face for the impenetrable darkness,
but I was aware of his piercing eyes glaring at me with intense hatred. I
literally froze, so frightened that I could not move or speak. Even my thoughts
seemed frozen. My then-husband was passed out cold from drinking.
Our nine-month-old son was across the hall asleep in his
crib. In the middle bedroom was our seven-year-old daughter, and in the next
bedroom was our youngest girl, aged almost three and a half. I was the only one
awake. Finally, a word managed to free itself from captivity and move through my
mind. It kept silently repeating itself – J-E-S-U-S; Jesus; Jesus!
It seemed like an eternity, but in reality, it was likely
only one or two minutes. For whatever reason, the demon stood by me the longest
at the foot of the bed. Then he moved to my then husband’s side of the bed,
very briefly. Neither of us was saved, so I did not know [at the time] why he came to see me
first.
It is speculative when I say that the rest of what I saw
was seen through spiritual eyes, as it was not a vision or a dream. I was wide awake because my husband and I had been arguing about his drinking. He was a heavy
alcoholic, who could turn violent very quickly. He was often out of work.
Whether this demon (or Satan) flew or just moved
quicker than my eyes could follow or my brain could comprehend, I cannot say, but
he left our bedroom and went across the hall, standing briefly beside my son’s
crib. The adversary then went to where the eldest girl slept, and finally, to
the younger girl.
As the evil spirit stopped at each person, the corresponding ‘visit’ became shorter. The demon touched no one physically, nor did he speak a word. Everything was eerily, even deathly silent. In retrospect, I truly must thank Jesus for not allowing the evil spirit to touch us physically or to speak evil over us audibly, especially the tender little ones (when he was there) No one else awoke until morning.
The devil had stood by me the longest at the foot of the
bed for about one or two minutes. But once the name of “Jesus” continued
passing through my mind, the devil moved up slightly toward me from the foot of the bed
and remained for another 30 seconds.
Having pondered it countless times at first, I often wondered
why the evil spirit came to me first and stood by me the longest (perhaps he
was plotting something sinister against me.) He stood by the husband about 25
seconds before he moved across the hall and into our son’s room.
The standing time began to seem like a countdown. Out of
the three children, the demon stood by the baby for about 20 seconds, the
lengthier time. It was then 10 seconds for the eldest girl, and five seconds
for the younger girl (3 ½ years old).
With my spiritual eyes, I witnessed the demon “fly” (yes,
that time he seemed to fly) across the large field to the big barn. I have
no way of knowing what the demon spirit did in the barn but briefly I saw it leave
the property in the dark of morning.
The Ouija Board
Trouble had already started with our landlord about two
or three weeks before this evil spirit showed up. My husband controlled the
money. He was not working, so with three little ones, we collected welfare. The
cheque came in his name, as head of the household.
He had already dipped into the rent money buying beer, but not so badly that we could not recover, but it meant pawning some things. We never managed to make it to the pawnshop.
However, I discovered a long orange outdoor extension cord plugged into our outlets and running across the field to a two-story barn.
(Please Note: The above pictures are NOT the actual barn or greenhouses, although they are eerily similar. The greenhouses are very similar indeed. The paint on the actual barn was wearing off, and was more brown than it was red.
The situation was not handled well. We had to go to town to get film for the camera (early '92, no cell phones). At the same time, my husband planned to submit a document in Small Claims court and file a complaint with the Landlord/Tenant Act.
When the landlord came over to collect the rent, instead
of sitting down calmly and discussing things to come to an amicable
settlement, threats were made, with both men yelling at each other.
My husband told the landlord of his intentions to submit documents at Small Claims and the Landlord/Tenant branch. The landlord did not
take too kindly to that. He was an older man who had immigrated to Canada over
40 years previously. He was very well off from selling crops and other things
from his 100-acre farm over the years.
He had a good reputation within the community and he was
not about to let some “punk alcoholic” smear his good name. Before we
even left for town later that day, the landlord returned. He had gotten the jump on us and had proceeded to file documents first, with his notice being to evict us for
nonpayment of rent.
My husband had refused to give him any rent money, which
I completely disagreed with. It was a foolish mistake. It typically never goes
well for the person who countersues or files after another party does.
Favour is usually shown to the first party to file, depending of course, on the
nature of the dispute.
Without pictures of the
cords running from the house to the greenhouse, as well as the cord running
across the field to the barn that we had planned to take and submit as evidence, our case was weakened. My husband had also made the mistake of
telling the landlord who was obviously intelligent enough to remove the
cords before we established proof.
Now all we had was the electricity bill, which in truth,
I thought was fairly good evidence. Usage and cost clearly jumped a noticeable
and significant amount during the time the cords were plugged in.
Now, here is where the spiritual trouble began and what I
believe turned out to be the open door, or the portal in which the demon came through.
I did not get it until a few years later when I began randomly attending
church and learning more about the spiritual realm.
When I had gone downstairs to check things out, I noticed
a Ouija board had been strategically placed on one of our shelves. (We
rented the entire house, except for one room which the landlord wanted as an
office for when he grew his crops during the summer to fall seasons.) He never
locked it.
I messed with a Ouija board once at 24 and didn’t like it. The Christmas tree fell over with no one near it, and some other strange ‘vibrations’ we called it at the time. I have repented of that pagan, New Age, occult witchery long ago. Witchcraft is not something to play with. Even if one is just messing with it out of curiosity or for fun, demons will let you think it is harmless, especially if it fits with the agenda of delusions and illusions.
Witchcraft is as rebellion against Jesus/Yeshua. I took the Ouija
board down from the shelf and placed it in the landlord’s office. The landlord
was mocking us because at the bottom of the board in large letters, it says:
GOOD BYE
Everyone had just filed papers, yet the landlord was already positive that he was going to win the case, even though he was guilty. How could that be? I remember seeing a scripture (I might have read occasionally, but sparsely back then), but at one point I saw what seemed like the only plausible answer to explain what went down. It is the only thing that makes sense:
a) the landlord's rush to file
b) the regular judge dismissed
c) the new judge assigned to the court 'temporarily', according to pro bono lawyer
d) the landlord's confidence that he would win even though he did wrong (hydro)
A wicked man accepts a bribe behind the back to pervert the ways of justice. Wisdom is in the sight of him who has understanding, but the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth.[Prov 14:23-24]
A few days later, I went downstairs and sure enough, the
landlord had placed the board back on the shelf. The GOOD BYE message was loud
and clear. I have no idea how many days passed before I went downstairs, but
there the board was again, in plain sight.
He was a stubborn old man but he had met a stubborn young
woman (I was 37, going on 38 at the time.) This time I took the Ouija Board and busted it
in half over my knee and threw it back in his office, grunting a 'goodbye'. I never saw the Board
again, but the act of rejection of the dark side angered Satan. The breaking of
the Board opened a portal in the spiritual realm.
That is why that evil demonic spirit had the ‘right’ to
come that night. Since I was the one who violently broke the board over my
knee, I was the one targeted that night. How does the enemy get to people? One of his favourite ways is through a person's loved ones, especially children.
The Lord allowed it as a lesson, but He protected us all in that the demon could not touch us physically or speak to us audibly at the time, just like it was with Job. It would be a lesson that I never forgot.
That time was when I became instantly aware of the reality of the spiritual realm. Up until then, I had a half-baked idea that most of the demonic side was pretend. But you see, it was not just witchcraft [landlord, obviously - owning a Ouija board], or Satan (evil spirit), but what was coming also had to do with the SINS of people as well. Satan works with the 'flesh', our carnal nature.
It has been that way since the Garden of Eden when Eve was deceived, and Adam disobeyed God, when he listened to his wife who was seduced by the serpent. The combination of witchcraft and Satan, yes, but bring in the SINS of people and we have "destruction just waiting to happen."
He will tempt people, but the choice to act upon that temptation or not is ultimately up to each individual. If they make the wrong choice, that temptation is not a mistake, it has crossed the line into sin, which is not of God, but the world and the devil (lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life).
Satan is the father of lies, and a murderer from the beginning. There is no truth in him; deception is his very character. [Jn 8:44]
Now I will share with you the “reality” of the demonic
side. The evil spirit stood by me the longest; I understood that he had a
serious attack planned against me.
The evil spirit stood by my husband after me. I will come
back to this part.
Baby boy: Acute double pneumonia – 8 days ICU; then 7 days in general ward; total downtime 20 days - the baby almost died; ICU was touch and go
Court case: The Lawyer
was confident we would win. The landlord’s electricity bill when he was using the barn
and greenhouses with electricity powered from the house, compared to our bill.
They were identical which proved the landlord was using our electricity.
Regular judge was dismissed – new
judge on circuit unknown by lawyer who knew all judges on circuit,
even new ones; lawyer called it ‘out of the ordinary’
Evidence: the judge ruled in favor
of landlord. Evidence was dismissed as incomplete. Eviction notice approved –
two weeks to vacate
Husband: As we were packing up, marriage was verbally
ended; husband moved in with uncle; I moved into a shelter with the three
children; that was our last separation
Youngest daughter: Turned
four years old third week in shelter; a few days after birthday, child sexually
molested by 300-pound, 5’8” woman – staff did not want to report – might lose
funding; overrode their decision; I insisted police be called
Child interviewed; staff wanted to move us up the hall to another room; I refused
saying that the child would think that “she” did wrong; we did no wrong; long staff meetings
Preliminary hearing – Criminal Court
Hospitalized: I spent
three days in hospital to rest due to threats from husband; staff intercepted
calls; we had no choice but to move to another shelter in an undisclosed location due to his threats to do harm; my car was hidden
Due to fear of the woman charged (accused), a screen was ordered to place in
front of the child – the purpose of the screen was for protection of the child; she could not see the accused; but the child herself could be seen by all
SHOCK: I was not allowed in court
in case I somehow swayed or influenced the child. Yet the husband whose threats were
heard by third party (staff – phone), and caused us to move to an undisclosed place was allowed to stand behind the child in
court for SUPPORT (even as he told me to have charges dropped)
TRIAL DATE SET: Evidence
provided at preliminary; judge decides enough evidence to proceed to trial
Third date in trial court: The children and I had moved
from shelter into new house
As I was coming out of the court washroom, I saw the
detective who was involved in the case, 2 shelter workers, the father, and my
four-year-old daughter all walking down the hall but they were supposed to be
in court. The detective stated that the judge had to throw the case out because
the child said she “lied” and “the devil made her do it”
I freaked out. That was her father’s favourite saying (devil
made me do it, a saying made popular by comedienne Flip Wilson in the 70s) I yelled at
him saying he made her say that. He shrugged and said, “hey, she said it”
I could not believe it. I asked the detective if they
could start again if child told judge the truth which was that her father made
her say those words; she looked angrily at my ex, and said unfortunately no…case
was over, and the female molester got no counseling, nothing
I saw it all as the work of the demon that visited
each one of us that one night
Demon’s work: Three
months later I was in hospital one month after a night of abuse from
husband when we were separated, but he deceived me.
He asked if he could sleep one night on the couch because when they were drinking, his uncle and he had gotten into a fight. He ran the car into his uncle's fence - his uncle kicked him out and it was freezing cold temperatures. He promised he would get a place in the morning if I just gave him the one night.
I believed him. Would I never learn? I still was not saved...nor even given God (Jesus) much thought, despite the visit from the demon. I was spiritually blind, which happened eight years earlier (approximately) but that's another story.
Once he was in the house, my still-husband would not leave. Because we were not divorced and I had no forms proving [legal] separation (so much happening, I just had not had time); the police could not force him to leave because legally, he was still my husband. It did not matter if the place was rented in my name or not. The police had no documents to act upon.
Letting my (husband) in that night was how I ended up in hospital for one month. He had begun drinking, and all the anger, bitterness, and hatred came to the surface, and he acted upon it. I am sure that 'demon' was there in the background, whispering temptations, and convincing him what a bad wife I was.
DIAGNOSIS: I ended up on an 11-year medical journey due to a misdiagnosis, [yet another long story - but wrong time) starting with one [1] pill [antidepressant] to calm me down [anxiety] after abuse, then bumped to three [3] per day. Eleven [11] years later, I was on 34-36 pills/day, three kinds of which were highly addictive.
SEVEN-YEAR CUSTODY BATTLE: my husband divorced me two years later [2 years after I was hospitalized. It was during my hospital stay, he applied for custody. That way he would have a reason not to work. He had to be a stay-at-home dad).
When he divorced me, he had been living with another woman for a year. Custody of children was granted automatically to the father because they had been with him for the two [2] years before divorce.
My lawyer, for whatever reason, told me I did not have to appear in court that day, as it was just to set a date. However, it was dealt with that day. I saw Satan's hand in every detail of what was going on.
I ended up in custody battle that lasted nearly seven years. The Lord allowed it because it was in my desperation that I was going to begin to seek Jesus. I needed help and I had nowhere else to turn. Before and after we were married, we were always moving, so I never had much of a chance to make friends.
It was early in the battle that the Lord promised me the return of the children. He gave scripture from the book of Isaiah. However, it was a long, drawn out, and dramatic custody battle. Even two lawyers advised me to just settle for access.
They promised to make sure the access was "generous". I could not. The father was negligent and abusive, but I could not convince the workers (two young females in their 30s) from the Children's Aid Society to investigate without warning him firsthand before a "visit". Long story shortened. The father ended up going to prison for SA of one of his own children, and other charges in his care with the other two.
THAT is why the ex had wanted the trial with the woman who sexually molested a young four year old to be stopped, or to fail seven years earlier. But God returned the children to me, just as He promised. I am not going to blame God for the sins of people, or the sins of a father, or why He allowed what He allowed.
Today, Jesus/Yeshua is my Saviour, King and Lord. He is everything, and all three of my children believe in Him. I do not know if any have committed to Him, but I continue to pray and stand in the gap for them. It is all I can do, but if He could save the likes of me, especially when it took over half a century to get me submitted and dedicated, there is no way I will doubt His hand and victory with my children. They were His before they were ever mine, and they still are His.
Some people want to blame God for everything, including our own sins and rebellious behaviour. Multitudes want to take witchcraft and spiritual warfare
lightly. Countless do not believe demons can cause much, if any damage. It is understood now
why the demon stood by me the longest and then, stood beside the ex-husband. Such an evil creature as to target innocent little children.
The thief can not but to steal, to kill and to destroy.
Yeshua/Jesus said He came that we might have life, and have it more abundantly.
[Jn 10:10]
Three court cases were affected; a marriage was
destroyed; a baby nearly died (but praise Jesus he survived – like Job, Satan could
not kill the body). The loss of three children for seven [7] years, yet Romans 8:28 happened, I
am so glad because in desperation I turned to Jesus – and man, did He have a
work to do.
Yes, the demon hurt another child later on through SA, and even tried to comfort the abuser. He threw in a 7-year custody battle, and an 11-year medical nightmare due to a misdiagnosis, but praise God, because He brought me through it all. The VICTORIES are ALL because of Jesus/Yeshua! All glory is His as I exalt Him on high.
It would surpass
39 years, of dealing with wrong choices. The choices were mistakes, but let's be real, the choices were sins. Dealing with SINS, dealing with the
consequences of sins...led by the Holy Spirit to confession and repentance with godly sorrow, in order to receive mercy, grace, love of Jesus and forgiveness.
That my friends, is the power of the
enemy when people are lost. Not everyone goes through such drama, but Satan’s
into drama. BUT -- J
My First Brush with A Witch
I will close with this, and again, you will see why I do not mess around with witchcraft or witches, but I will tell you this. Jesus Christ – Yeshua Mashiach is all-powerful [omnipotent]. And if you are His, and walking with Him, you need not fear. He WILL look after things. It may not be the way you would choose to do things. It may not be anything you can understand, but you can trust the holy, omnipotent, living God. Amen
When I was 19, I met a 24-year-old man. He took to me immediately, but I was not so sure about him. He was likeable and polite, but was he my type of person? I was unsure. He had been with a girl before (they both lived with their parents; boyfriend and girlfriend) for several years. He told me that she was livid over me being in the picture.
They had already been broken up for a month or so when I met him, but she wanted to get back together with him. He was raised in a large Catholic family, and she was a witch [literally].
He told me that she was a serious witch (I could get into what I was told (by him) and what I found out later, but not here, and not now.) Suffice it to say that it was no high school girl stuff or harmless antics. She was serious about her beliefs and her practices, and they were very dark, not innocent.
She had told him that we would both be sorry if we ever messed with her. Witchcraft had been in her family for generations, having come over from Scotland. They had even given her a "witch" name. I laughed when I heard it all. He said practiced the craft darkly [she was committed]. I had never heard anything about such things before then, so I soon forgot about it.
Four months after I knew him, I was three and a half months pregnant. That certainly shows my heart and my sins quite boldly. I was ruined in youth I had believed, but one day, the Lord would rescue me.
The pregnancy was ‘inconvenient’ I had decided, but I missed the abortion
appointment. It was an hour and a half away, and I had been working. I saw his
ex-girlfriend one time. She just scowled at me. Again, I thought no more of her
or her witchcraft.
Pressure was being placed on us by both sets of parents to get married and give
the baby a family. I did not love the man, but even my parents, who did not
have much to do with me for a couple of years when I lived on the streets after
being kidnapped for less than three months (two-and-a-half months). I
thought if I married the man, my parents and I would be close again.
I had the taxi drive around the block again – I was about
to do something I did not want to do [marriage]. The taxi stopped back at the front of the
church and we got married.
I had heard that curses were put upon us. I laughed…I did
not believe in witches or witchcraft. My parents never came to my wedding. My
side of the church was empty, except for the bridesmaid, my friend.
Let me make short work of this story. I was 19 when I got pregnant, 20 when I had her, and 21 when she died. Yes, people can see and talk about the kind of sinner I was...but how I praise Jesus for not giving up on me.
My marriage ended up annulled by the Catholic church. The man I married was not just a transvestite (he loved my clothes), but he seriously wanted sex changes. Not me…
This was all the work of a witch against someone who believed in Jesus (ever since the orphanage, so you could say all my life). But remember what I once said (and it is written): Even the demons believe and tremble.
Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
A marriage was destroyed, a beautiful baby girl died at 14-months-old,
and one soul was lost to the dark side, thinking he was meant to be a she, and
wanted me to be a he. I cannot remember on what grounds the church annulled the
marriage.
I will end it
here,...that was my first brush with a witch and the things they do.
Ephesians, chapter six has been twisted so severely that people are warring against flesh and blood instead of against principalities, powers, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Ravenous wolves coming in sheep’s clothing, and ministers of Satan who appear as ministers of righteousness have deceived the masses and aided the adversary in leading many away from the truth.
The false prophets, greedy shepherds, ‘certain’
deliverance ministries, and prosperity gospel teachers have done extensive
collateral damage in the churches, ill-prepared for when Satan strikes, and he
will. It was back in mid-November that I first saw Daystar mentioned when a
young couple broke their silence about an alleged coverup of sexual abuse of
their five-year-old daughter.
I had never heard of any of the people before
because it has only been the past year to year and a half that I started to involve myself more in social media platforms (involved only in reading and watching
videos for the most part) – all due to the plagiarism of my articles by
Julie Green et al.
Anyway, attention was paid by me because of a little girl molested when she just turned four years old in a woman’s shelter. I flashed back in time, remembering how I felt like I had failed my daughter. But who would have thought such a thing would or could happen in a shelter?
I well remember exactly
how real the denial and the temptation of shelter staff to cover up the incident was. The staff were torn. The funding; they could lose funding, but in the end,
after ‘meetings’ the right thing was done.
It struck a tender spot even though the incident happened
thirty-three years ago. Satan does all he can to sacrifice the innocence of
children and to destroy families…that has not changed.
Near November’s end, I was going to post something about
Daystar (still not realizing what a huge organization they were), but the
point I wanted to drive home was (is) the faithfulness of the Lord. The warning
was to be strong and one that needs to be heeded.
The message of witchcraft is a serious one. Yes, Jesus is greater; yes, nothing escapes God, and what happens is what He allows. Yet I weary of the platitudes and the lack of remembering who the real enemy is. If and I say IF certain people do not repent, and do not do the right thing, are you willing to TRUST God to do JUSTICE, since you have done your part, friend?
Yes, God is dividing. In 1999, He warned me of being SIFTED like wheat, and a great SHAKING. All throughout the archives on this site, randomly placed by El Shaddai, are the reminders of the shaking, the sifting, that people should and would expect.
For me it began immediately upon receiving the phone call from my lawyer stating that my children were at the police station (an hour and a half drive away). I was instructed to go and pick them up.
I drove so fast (country roads) that I almost killed myself. Still in shock that my ex lost the children, and that they were at the police station, my foot hit the petal at 100 mph (give or take) - either way I was speeding.
Coming up over the crest of a hill on a country highway, I saw the 18-wheeler sitting at the stop sign on a sideroad waiting for clearance in traffic. "No way that truck will pull out", I convinced myself. I was wrong. He pulled out. My brain froze.
I saw the side of the truck and knew I could not stop in time. No word of a lie. People have heard this story (especially my children, who are now grown adults) so many times, I lost count - but it was God - or an angel. I do not know which.
The truck was pulling out. No one behind him. He had two lanes of traffic on my side to pass through to get to the middle of the highway to turn into one of the two lanes going in the opposite direction.
Someone grabbed that wheel, and maneuvered my Berretta to drive parallel down the side of the 18-wheeler,, hang a left to go around the rear-end of that 18-wheeler, then a sharp left to go up and back onto the highway like a skilled stock car racer. There was a very "slight" fishtail and I resumed driving as if nothing had happened at all.
The 18-wheeler had not seen me coming, and he must have freaked out to see my vehicle suddenly "appear" on his righthand side of the truck as he continued toward the middle to hang a left into the southbound lanes.
I truly believe that when God put an end to the custody battle by having the children end up at the police station, and me on the way to pick them up, that that demon (Satan) wanted to kill me and tried. But God gives His angels charge over us to keep us in all our ways. [Ps 91:11] (no, I'm sorry, I still was not yet committed to Jesus - I know, I shake my head in remembrance too)
People say that psalm shows that God is saying He will protect us. I know God does, but if we are to keep things in context, isn't that part about the Father's holy guardian angels protecting Jesus (Yeshua)?
Because verse 12 is the one Satan quoted to Jesus when he took Jesus to the highest pinnacle of the temple and told him to throw himself down because God commanded His angels to "bear Him up" (guard).
And said to him (Satan said to Jesus), If You be the Son of God, cast Yourself down: for it is written, He shall give His angels charge concerning You: and in their hands they shall bear You up. lest at any time You dash Your foot against a stone. [Mat 4:6]
But Jesus countered with: It is written again, You shall not tempt the Lord your God. [vs 7]
Of course, God would have protected Jesus, and He does protect us. but I ponder that portion. I certainly was protected that day in April 1999. Hallelujah.
There is no way that I am that exceptional driver that maneuvered around that 18-wheeler. True, in that it is because the truck was pulling slowly ahead whilst my vehicle was going behind him that I am today alive to speak of the 'miracle'.
The truck had a stop sign, but I had clear country highway. It had to be the Lord or a holy angel to defy the logic and the circumstances like the car did. I should have hit the side of the truck face-on, but God intervened. Nothing will ever convince me otherwise. No one can touch God's glory. It truly is His.
AND... I barely fishtailed. AND...there were no cars on the other side of the truck. Thank You, Jesus. I got to the police station and ended up sitting in a holding room whilst they spoke with the children. (Apparently the children had pizza and pop...at the time, all I wanted was a cigarette. Sheesh lol)
Praise God those days are over! More of HIS glory. After 50 years of smoking, the Lord delivered me. 50 years, yes - my Jubilee year. It was May 25, 2020. It will be five years (5, the Hebrew number for GRACE) - five years this May. Thank You Jesus. It was the Lord who took it...I tried to do it for decades on my own.
I mean, I flushed them, crushed them, cut them up, drove miles to a garbage bin so I would not be TEMPTED to take them back out of the garbage, and a few times, I even drove to the homeless shelters to give a new pack (with two or three out of it) away to thankful residents.
Every single time I did what I did (flush, crush, cut, drive, give, etc.) I meant it. Cigarettes were nearly $20 a package then, and I am no rich person to just destroy them, or give them away. I was serious, but the cravings.
Finally, after 50 years of smoking, and over two decades (sigh yes) of trying to quit, I finally confessed to the Lord that my flesh did not want to quit; that my flesh actually liked the foul things, and that I did not want to disappoint the Lord anymore.
Every time I was instructed to quit, I obeyed...but I could not carry through past a couple of days, most times. One time I quit for four days but that was a FAST for a court case. God honoured it and that case was won.
Let us just say, the Lord is just in His judgments. It took me finally making a confession, one where pride could not exist. Why? Because I had to admit an uncomfortable truth.
I had to admit that I liked smoking (well, my flesh did) and I reckoned, okay, I admitted that I did not want to quit. I desperately needed help or else I am never going to be able to stop smoking. Throughout the archives, in certain prophetic words, it was obviously the Lord was scolding, rebuking.
Some wondered...what sin is she guilty of? Imaginations ran wild, I bet. Then, boom! Suddenly I was there saying to myself, "Wow, I have not smoked for six days!"
I had not realized it because JESUS heard my honest prayer (man, it took me long enough...) and HE delivered me! Sometimes I dreamt I was smoking and enjoying it. I awoke feeling guilty - until - I realized it was a dream. What a horrible feeling, thinking that after God's grace, mercy and help, I smoked. Very glad it was just a dream (more like a nightmare lol)
God is faithful! and I am grateful...(ok, it rhymed but I did not plan it lol) But if the shoe fits...
Back to these times...what is happening now and the past five months? What has been happening now that so many are finally talking about a shaking, and at Daystar? [J.Lamb] - and at Gateway? [R.Morris] and BHM [B.Hinn], and Bethel [B.Johnson]? and on and on...
SIFTING -- DIVIDING -- SEPARATING
Yahweh said He was dividing...cattle from cattle (sheep from sheep). Yes, BEFORE the dividing of the wheat from the tares. Read Ezekiel 34, and particularly verse 20. He gave that scripture and I posted it more than once over the past several years. He is dividing - separating. Now everyone is saying it...
But remember...YAHWEH said it FIRST. He is the Alpha and Omega, knowing the beginning from the end.
The counterfeiter (copycat) Satan is dividing also. May the Holy Spirit help us to discern. And then to act appropriately.
It had to be the Lord Himself who intervened and stopped me from posting in mid-November. At the time, NO ONE was bothering, NO ONE had heard yet.
Little did I know that within days, the news of Daystar and the Lamb family would hit every channel, every platform, radio, TV, and internet. People unheard of before suddenly using the topic to be seen and heard on social media.
By now it is all over the place. But it’s more like gossip now because the story is being told and rehashed; constantly replayed and updated... same recordings, different titles to get the people to click on THEIR channel, whilst everyone tries to outshine the other with their UPDATES. Their tags bring them...
Okay, I absolutely agree that no harm that has been done to any child, no matter their age should ever be covered up for the sake of money, reputation, or anything. Never. Every child is a gift from God.
We do not all sin the same sins. I have always said that sin is sin to God. Jesus died for EVERY sin ...but if we will not humble ourselves and repent with godly sorrow, then, it really is on us. Jesus did His part;
I also think it is wrong to ask false prophets or false teachers to call out people on their sins when the false prophets/teachers still insist on deceitful doctrines of their own. Sinners calling out sinners? What a mess.
I have to hold my tongue right now because what I see angers me. On ONE hand, in the name of Jesus some people 'appear' or 'sound' very loving and understanding, but the other hand is holding all the stones. People do not SEE the stones because they are focused on what seems to be 'caring' but it is for a following. May God truly open people's eyes and ears.
How hard is it to pull away from a place where you were for only 26 days, as opposed to someone who had been there years. Please be honest. All in the name of 'good morals' and 'integrity', but in truth at times it was hard to tell if the pull-away was because of 'adultery' or because of a coverup that involved a child?
Both are abominable sins in God's eyes.
Sin is sin. However, God's judgment is fair and just. He is right in all He does and in all He allows, whether we like it or not.
I excused my adultery years ago, when I was in that sin. At the time I justified it knowing sin cannot be justified! I convinced myself [and certain others, mainly those excusing their own sins) that the 'married' person was the real 'whore'...gasp!
After all, who has more rights, someone who knew the man and lived with him for five years, or someone who knew the man and married him after two days, having found a greedy justice of the peace who agreed to backdate certain documents in order to make the marriage 'appear' LEGAL?
(And you thought the writers for Hollywood movies 'overkilled' [over-did it at times] on the drama!) Only, this was not funny -
This was real people, living in a real world, being affected by real sin! Shame on those who justify sins. God will bring justice, in His way, and in His timing!
Firstly, out of five years that we knew each other, we were broken up more than we were together. Although people saw us as a "common-law couple", we actually might have lived together one year IF you add up all the times and days we spent separated, apart, broken up. It was a TOXIC, volatile relationship.
Secondly, he married the woman. It matters NOT how long they knew each other. He married her. I was the 'whore' that eventually broke it up, when I went two provinces over to visit him, performed a "witchcraft" ritual, and became pregnant.
Thirdly, the one time Jesus/Yeshua appeared to me, He let me know that the man was NOT my husband. I disobeyed on all counts, and became spiritually blind. Imagine, idolatry added to adultery. What a wretched , miserable soul.
Which woman do you think Jesus considered the sinner? the one who committed an abomination? Which one loved the 'creation' more than the Creator?
Yes, I, Bonita, was that sinful, wretched woman who committed idolatry (my sin was against the Lord), and adultery, my sin hurt others, so selfish I was.
We were told to be careful lest we think more highly of ourselves than we ought, or in case we forget where Yeshua brought us from, and what He forgave us for.
Let us not fall into the trap of comparing sins, or we will be like a religious soul. Some of you need to stand down because you are beginning to sound like:
Pharisee: “God, thank you that I am not like that “publican” over there (that adulterer, manipulator, controller, greedy shepherd – fill in the blank).
Slow down, people please, because Jesus IS listening. He is right here, right now...and most of you do not need me to remind you of that.
What would happen if Jesus appeared right now in the flesh and knelt down in front of us, and began writing in the dust and dirt? Would we suddenly be quiet? Would our stones drop to the ground (and we hope they drop "quietly")?
Satan is after ALL of God's creation, everyone and every thing in God’s kingdom - so great is his hatred! ALL saints, so be on guard you folks who are so proud of your integrity and morals. What if it was you and your sins in the spotlight?
Be careful if you say you have no sin.
But if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His Word is not in us. [1Jn 1:9-10]
It is true, we strive daily to keep this flesh upon the cross, in the overcoming position - but it is corrupted flesh until the day we die, or we are raptured, or resurrected, as mentioned in the holy scriptures, whatever comes first.
We see the falling away building momentum like the domino effect that Jesus spoke about in 20089, when He gave me the message: We Overcome
Brother, sisters...He is SOON returning - the return is imminent. Let us be on guard, endeavouring to help one another, sending out the warnings, exposing (we do not want blood on our hands).
Please see what is happening, take it from a stranger, who knew or knows none of those involved - I only share a common ground with the young couple with what they suffered knowing what happened to their precious, innocent, young child...
But beware, how very easy it all is to become gossip. Can you not see? It is becoming unbalanced with the competitive platform mentality...a snare of the enemy (he is still offering those kingdoms in the world, you know) Do not fall for it, no matter how tempting financially, in power, in control, in monetary gain, in reputation.
Jesus would have no part of it ("You shall not tempt the Lord your God", Yeshua told Satan firmly. Do not be one who wonders who can come out with the tastiest morsel yet, and still hold fast to your integrity, morals, compassion?
 |
| 1 million temptations! Satan is still offering kingdoms - the landscape looks a little different, but it is faster ...to carry out your greater exploits! |
Is that how it is? Would we want those who call themselves our brothers and sisters in the Lord, or simply call themselves brethren, would we want such to be praying for us whilst they repeatedly publicize wrongdoing…every day, and their hidden intent and motive is merely to have a kingdom (followers/subscribers)?
God help us all.
 |
| Jesus foretold and forewarned |
We may of had it all wrong? This may actually be what Jesus meant when He spoke about hearts growing harder, and love waxing cold.
Please understand. I believe the Word to expose WHEN led...yes, the Word is clear.
And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove (expose, rebuke, scold, reprimand) them. [Eph 5:11]
But be careful that too much 'pleasure' and 'self-righteousness' does not overtake us as we expose...and how many times must the sin be repeated?
It is always a difficult thing when people keep harping on your sin. Is God acting too slow? Surely He knows what He is doing.
When you sin, do you want people (who did right in exposing it, yes); however, would you want your sin shouted from the rooftops repeatedly, (on 100s of videos and news casts) and call your names out very loudly?
Be careful is all I am saying. Let God honour us or others, but let us not honour ourselves by speaking about how 'godly' our 'good morals', 'transparency' and 'integrity' are, especially after boldly announcing the sins of others.
Remember the Pharisee and the publican.
Pharisee: God, thank you that I'm not like that one>>> over there (that blogger, Bonita). I give, I tithe, I fast, I prophesy, I have a ministry that helps thousands...I've got good morals, integrity. Did you see her past? Whew, what a messed up woman she was, maybe still is. I mean, she was a fornicator, adulterer, drug addict, smoker, what didn't she do? Thank You God that I am not like her!
Bonita: Father, I have sinned; heaven's ashamed, and I am not worthy to carry Your good name. And even so, Lord, You still brought me out of the pig pen where I wallowed in the mire. I see Your nail-pierced, bloodstained hands wiping away not only my tears but those of others. How great is Your compassion and love. Thank You for not giving up on me...on us, but mostly, thank You for forgiveness not only for me, but for all of us who have faith in You and Your grace and mercy. Thank You holy One...
Bless all those who wait upon You, Yeshua/Jesus, precious Lord.
And therefore will the Lord wait, that He may be gracious unto you, and therefore will HE be exalted, that He may have mercy upon you: for the LORD is a God of judgment: blessed are ALL they that wait for Him. [Is 30:18]
Can you not see? SATAN tempted them in their WEAK places, and they fell...like Adam, like Eve, like Samson, like [king] Saul, like David, like me...like you. We ALL have fallen short of His glory.
You say you PRAY for them in one breath, and in the next go right back to speaking their sins. Yes, it IS wrong to DENY what happened. Ask me, I DO know about it...and do NOT condone it. Yes, the child deserves justice... (my one child never did get it ) but when do we stop trusting God?
We do not stop. This life is temporal. Justice will be served by a living God of judgement and justice.
Do you really mean it when you say, in judgment, remember mercy? It took me awhile, and there really is no way I could do it without Jesus, but I surely prayed to God to forgive those who came against the family, and against me.
I had to go through the process a few times before it was genuine, sincere, but I do not want Satan to have all the souls he wants. The Holy Spirit helps us. Jesus is our Advocate, and intercedes on our behalf. He truly does...I know because there is no way I could have forgiven if He had not.
But He prays that our faith does not fail us. I did ask if He would remember mercy in His judgment because I remember how LONG and how HARD He had to work with me. It is good if He did not have to do so much with you. It is still to HIS glory though, as your Creator.
Please stop advertising the sins of the unrepentant. They are exposed; let us not flog a dead horse. Do our sins that we once were guilty of need to be repeated again and again? Take a look in the mirror, friend...
Remember "those people"... (the Pharisee's attitude against the publican)
But this is a people robbed and spoiled; they are all of them snared in holes, and they are hid in prison houses: they are for a prey, and none delivers, for a spoil, and none say, RESTORE. [Is 42:22]
Who among you will give ear to this? who will hearken [listen] and hear for the time is come? God will avenge; He is the strength in every battle. He will satisfy His wrath and bring justice.
You have done your part - now let God do His.
This is spoken in truth and love because God is God, and you are His creation. Let us bring glory to His name...even when it is hard; even when we do not understand. Shalom in Christ
in His love and in His service
for His glory alone
Bonita dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com
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