An unseen test
(NOTE*: The following paragraphs are not in the original
article. Readers will be notified of these additions which will be inserted as “notes”. It will say 'end note' when it goes back to the original article-BP)
Consider the hour. Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you…
Forgetting the Goodness of Adonai (Jesus)
I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in
the land of the living. [Ps 27:13]
Holy, holy, holy is the name of Jesus…(Yeshua)
Dear souls, we all need to stop for a moment in our hectic days (whether that busyness is physical or mental), and reflect upon Jesus,
who reconciles us back to God, we have much to be grateful for.
Do we truly understand how precious we are to Him, and why He despises
sin that destroys us, and why those who chose evil over good anger Him? Molded
in the very image of God, He created man. He breathed into him, and he became a
living spirit. All that Yahweh created was good.
When Adam (and Eve) messed up, He was not willing to
destroy them even after they became corrupted by sin, although none could
question the Creator.
Yet He planned a way to reconcile mankind back to Himself, after sin
separated us from His presence. That way is the ONLY way. It is truth and LIFE.
Jesus (Yeshua) IS the [only] way, truth and
life, and no one goes to the Father but through Him. [Jn 14:6]
Have you ever had a day [or days]
where, yes, you read the Bible, but it is a quick read? I have. Perhaps just a
few verses are read or a short chapter before closing the Holy Book and moving on
because something else is captivating your attention, whether physically,
mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.
Have you ever found yourself low on gratitude, despite all the times before that you offered up sincere
thanksgiving? Is there
a time when life or circumstances slid your soul into a selfish, fleshly mode,
forgetting [even if temporarily] the goodness of your
Maker because you have hit a patch of hardship that is not fair at all.
Owning our sin and godly repentance brings forgiveness, and the Lord
never brings it up again. The devil does, and some people might, but never the
Lord – not once a sin is forgiven.
What the spilling of His blood did for mankind…if we can get that down, deep
down into our understanding and remembrance, we will fight harder against sin.
It is agape love.
We are commanded to love God with all we are, and we love Him because He
first loved us. His perfect love draws us to godly sorrow and repentance…humbles
us because of His goodness.
O that men would praise the Lord for His goodness,
and for His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfies the longing
soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness. [Ps 107:8-9]
Truth be told, I think most, if not all of us, can recall times that
life seemed unfair, or something happened that caused our strength to drain
from our body, leaving us focusing on the events happening rather than leaning
on God in surrender that trusts. As we grow and mature in Christ, we are
often fairly confident about our trust in God, are we not?
Great! But what happens when that trust is unexpectedly tried? Will it
stand the test of faith or will you discover that time, trials, and hardships
slowly chipped away at your trust, unbeknownst to you?
When troubles strike fast, hard and relentlessly, with some trials seemingly
to be without end, how often do any of us remember Yahweh’s past mercies and
goodness toward us?
We just want the trouble to stop, the hardship to go away. Maybe we are
pleading for the return of something we lost, whether a person, place or thing.
And if it does not come, then what?
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Will faith stand the test – any test?
Even the more righteous children of God at times forgot all He had done
for them [albeit temporarily], when they were tempted
beyond their strength – like Samson, Job, Elijah, kings Saul, David, and Solomon,
apostle Peter, and many others before us.
NOTE*: This following article was first posted in November,
2016. Another life lesson occurred recently that corresponds with
this article. Therefore, as you read along, you will see many “notes”,
which include the above introduction. These notes, with their paragraphs, are not
in the original article (link provided at the end of this writing). They
were added in this article for the past week, up until today July 14, 2025 –
End note BP
Tried by Fire
Original Intro: > At the very
start of this article, I will say that most of what I write [on this blog]
is geared towards those who are disciples of Jesus Christ.
However, my heart is concerned for the lost, the backslidden, the prodigals,
[those searching], the struggling, all who are on their way to the lake
of fire where they will be forever separated from God.
If you wonder why my concern, it is for three crucial reasons. Firstly,
we are commanded by Yahweh, and reminded through His beloved and only begotten
Son Jesus/Yeshua, to love Him with all we are [mind, soul, heart, strength],
and to love our neighbour as ourselves. All the commandments hang upon these
two.
Secondly, I once was all those things, lost, backslidden, searching, struggling,
the prodigal, and on my way to hell, or more realistically stated, the lake of
fire, lost forever.
And lastly, time is of the essence – look around. The Word of God
regarding the last of the last days is dramatically unravelling before our very
eyes, for those who have eyes to see and are not in denial.
For All Have Sinned
[NOTE*: And for that very reason, I use examples from my own
life in my writings – the good, the bad, and the ugly, with the intent and
desire to help a prodigal, the lost, or anyone in danger of being forever separated
from God.
To point them to Jesus, to be saved and reconciled back to God, to be filled
with the Holy Spirit, and to encourage them to get to know the true Jesus
Christ (Yeshua) and the living Word of God, the Bible –
there they will find answers, wisdom, and guidance needed.
And yes, I speak even to the faithful who are so battle-weary, so tired (for various reasons) that sometimes they find themselves struggling (against
bitterness, anger, impatience, sheer frustration!) The latter? That would be
me.
What happened? We should know and understand that there is no perfect Christian
– only Yeshua/Jesus walked perfectly. We are being molded into His image, but
it is a long process. It will not be completed until we are in our glorified bodies,
not these corrupted vessels.
Most, if not all of us, are very quick to point to those in the Bible as
examples when it comes to people of God who sinned, in an effort to playdown
the significance of our own sins.
We might point to those mentioned previously up above (Job, Jacob, Jonah, kings Saul, David, Solomon, Peter), or anyone who
was considered godly who ‘messed up’, thus justifying our sin by pointing
to those in the Bible.
Sin is transgressing against God’s will, which has consequences. Some
will point out how God blessed these people despite their ‘sins’, yet hesitate
to mention their own sins and shortcomings if they think it might tarnish their
glowing ‘image’.
Pointing out others who fell short of the glory of God can be a flawed attempt
at diminishing our own sins. We cannot shirk our personal responsibility. We are
accountable for our words, thoughts and deeds.
I do not think we are called to present all our mess(es) before all the people.
Some people will trample on confidences, misconstrue a matter, exaggerate it,
or hold it over ones’ head.
However, it is written: Confess [your]
faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed. The effectual
fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. [Jam 6:16]
The Catholic priests are trained to listen to the confessions of ‘sinners’,
but only God (Jesus) can forgive the sins of mankind. He
spilled His blood for us. The above scripture is not instructing us to confess
our sins to someone so we can be forgiven as if they were God. [Jesus is
God incarnate – God in the flesh]
It is my understanding that the Lord is instructing us that if we trespass
[hurt or offend] against someone, then we are to
go to the one we trespassed against, and humbly confess our faults (error)
to them.
If they come to us, we can forgive their wrong against us, meaning to
let it go into God’s hands, where the forgiveness of sins comes through Jesus
the Messiah. Or vice versa, if we are the offender.
[…] Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass
against us. (The Lord’s Prayer) [Mat 6:12; Lk 11:4]
It is my experience that we cannot hate anyone we earnestly and
fervently pray for. The humility in confessing a fault(s), followed by prayer
brings healing…of the relationship, of the offense. It is good and the Lord
blesses it (it avails much). End NOTE - BP2025July]
If I am to drive home one point, it would be this. There is hope in this
turbulent time, and that I say with utmost confidence because of the Lord. It
is not peace as the world gives, but a peace that passes all understanding - the peace of God [Jesus]
being with you; the peace of being forgiven; the peace of knowing future hope -
the peace that only abiding in Jesus Christ and He in you can give.
In His wisdom, He [Jesus] humbled me. In His love for me, He chastened
me in the furnace of affliction, as the intensity of the fire shone into the
deeper places of my heart. So hidden that I was even unaware…and sometimes the
revealing of such impurities [dross] is hard to bear.
[NOTE*: I am not special, so please do not misunderstand and
read more into this than what I am saying. The Lord corrects all
who are His, as any loving parent does. I have said a thousand times that the
Lord is so incredible in that He has a way of making each one of us feel like we
are an only child, special to Him! It is agape love, a love we are not
accustomed to on earth – End note – BP]
But to get to the root is to shake free…just as dross (impurities in
silver and gold) is brutally loosened in intense fires to be able to come
to the surface and be skimmed away, so the Lord deals with us, with the Holy
Spirit and with fire.
The Humility of Correction
And the Holy Spirit reminded me of the words He placed within my
spirit: It is better to walk in the humility of correction than in the
pride of error.
[NOTE*: It was earlier this year, 2016, or late last year
[2015] that the above saying was placed upon my heart. It is God’s
wisdom, not mine – BP]
The sting of the impurities is strong as they are shaken loose so they
will surface and be taken away ([disposed of] as sinful waste)
is a hard but necessary process. It can be overpowering at first to one who
sees [acknowledges] and owns their sin. It demands humility and truth,
determination and strength to unite as one, as pride and error lose its hold
and is overcome by God, an all-consuming fire. The Holy Spirit overcomes the
flesh.
[NOTE*: Nine years after this is written, there is an even
keener awareness and deeper understanding of one of the statements contained in
the NT [New Testament] gospel.
A Pop Quiz [Surprise Test, No Warning]
Something happened a few days ago that opened my eyes to how easily I
personally can trip up in a place that I thought I had conquered with Christ
Jesus – and the Holy Spirit, of course, but still, conquered.
When it was over, I was ashamed, shaken, confused, and condemned; not condemned
by God or by Jesus, but by myself and the
adversary Satan. As people, we are quick to share our victories and successes
with others as “testimony”, doing our best to keep our shirt buttons from
popping (keeping ‘pride’ at bay).
However, we are slower with sharing “testimony” when it comes to our failures
or our sins. We want to keep those under wraps, keep them between us and the
Lord, learn from them and carry on.
But sometimes the Lord determines a thing is to be an example. It is
written:
Being confident of this very thing, that He which has begun a good work
in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ [Yeshua Mashiach].
[Phil 1:6]
My heart to share is due to the knowing (as I speak with friends or sisters in Christ, as well as in letters from
people) that we tend to think that we are alone in failing Jesus or
in sinning against God, whether it be in a test or in some
temptation that proved too strong against us.
Even though most of us have heard that others are going through things
the same as us (with the intent to comfort us), more often
than not, we are not so convinced. We feel alone, and tend to think others will
not or do not understand the full extent of what we are going through.
Pride is subtle, and self-pity can be selfish; each one tends to think of
itself, but we serve a good God who gives us understanding in His lessons, if
we are willing to be taught (receive).
Another thing we often hear is that we must be teachable. Agreed!
However, we must also be reachable. What is the difference?
Some are only teachable if they teach themselves or learn from a source
they choose, such as a book, or a documentary, or through a trusted person. But
to be reachable, we must be able to accept constructive criticism and lessons
from all reliable sources,
even unexpected (and perhaps unfavourable) sources.
First and foremost, we need to be willing to allow Jesus, through His
Word and the Holy Spirit, to teach us. That is being reachable.
For example, what if we are in error but it is not detected by us
because it lies deep within, or we are blind to it, or we are in denial to it
if it was pointed out. That is where Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, comes in.
And sometimes the only way we will “see” it
and admit to it is if we are tested in it and we fail the test. That is what
happened to me recently. Something I thought I had dealt with and conquered (all
thanksgiving to God), cropped up, and man, did I fail the test! End
note-BP)
Tried by Fire
Only someone who owns a thing can give it away. Confession of sin is ownership.
It’s reality; it is the nature of mankind, the fallen nature. To be rid of
sinful waste is akin to skimming off the dross.
It is a purifying process, the dross as it were. Jesus is the Refiner,
purchased and paid for us by His very blood. He is close to a broken and
contrite heart, which the humility of confession brings – godly sorrow unto
repentance.
If He chooses me to be but one voice to speak forth a message, please do
remember (as I always stress emphatically), the messenger
gets the message first! What’s the mean?
It means I best pay attention; I too must search my own heart and must
confess and repent of anything the Holy Spirit reveals in me that is impure,
unjust, unrighteous, sinful.
[NOTE*: Remember, this article was originally written
in 2016, but this time there was a test that popped up – and I did not do well.
End note -BP]
Pride, bitterness, unforgiveness, whatever may be hidden deep within…anything!
Any impurity that the precious Holy Spirit reveals must be separated from us,
brought to the surface (acknowledged) and removed as waste (confess/repent),
so that we may be purified and refined. We must turn away from our sin. He
will purge us, but we must go through the fire.
This is done as surely as dross (impurities) is separated from
silver and gold and skimmed away (removed), so that what remains is
refined as silver and purified as gold. This is part of being molded into the
image of Christ Jesus (Messiah Yeshua).
Many justify themselves by saying with utter confidence, “Well, God
knows my heart.” It is true that God does indeed know our heart, but do we?
It says many times throughout scripture that He will try the heart, and it will
be tried by fire, even in the furnace of affliction. [Is 48:10]
In Deuteronomy 8:2, the Lord speaks to the Israelites, explaining
that He led them in the wilderness to humble and prove them (try/test), to
find out what was in their hearts and whether they would keep His commandments
or not.
I the Lord search the heart, I try (test) the reins (mind/will), even to
give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit (results) of
his doings. [Jer17:10]
1 Peter 1:7 states: That the trial of your faith, being
much more precious than of gold that perishes, though it be tried
with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the
appearing of Jesus Christ.
The trying of our heart and reins (mind/will) is found all
throughout scripture, from the Old Testament to the New. We can choose to go
through, or we can excuse sin, justify it, compromise or walk away. I am not “all
that”, nor have I “arrived”. The Lord is still doing a
work in me and shall until the day I pass from this life and time.
However, we must choose to work with Him. We are to be overcomers [Rev
12:11] and to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. [Phil 2:12] Our
works do not save us, but our faith produces action; the fruit of our faith
will be glad obedience to God and all He asks of us [His will].
It is time to choose sides and to stand, watch, pray and wait…He is
bringing us all together, step by step.
Pain Can Change You
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[NOTE*: Slightly over two weeks ago, Saturday, June 28, on
Canada’s birthday weekend [July 1 was on a Tuesday this
year], a strange thing happened which afterwards, could only be considered a
test of faith…a test without warning that I failed.
If your faith were suddenly tried/tested today or shortly, without
warning (like a pop quiz), would your faith fail you? Consider carefully. The
apostle Peter did not think so, and neither did I.
I said earlier that something came up that I thought I had conquered
with the help of the Holy Spirit, and it was conquered. However, over the
course of time since that victorious triumph, many more battles have ensued, also
challenges and hardships.
Unless one suffers with [chronic] pain
that does not go away, it is difficult to explain how it can chip away at
our strength, our emotions, our mental stability, our moods, our social life, and
possibly even our character.
As it increases, we either depend more on God, or we become bitter,
angry, frustrated, or worse. I struggle at times, but with the help of Jesus, I
do my best to repent if anger, bitterness, or other negativity crops up.
My pain may be physical, but what of those who carry an emotional or
mental pain? It is just as real; it can be just as devastating. It too can make
one bitter, angry, frustrated, confused, feeling hopeless, etc.
It is a fight, but with God, we can make it. We can! It is hard, not
easy, and people know that when it comes to sin and the flesh, we must
overcome. And we cannot do it alone because we have a powerful adversary.
People want to pooh-pooh that, but do not!
It is such a reality that it is written that we overcome him [the devil, Satan, the adversary] by the blood of the
Lamb and the Word of our testimony. [Rev 12:11] Jesus/Yeshua is the Word
[Jn 1:1] which became flesh and dwelt among us (we beheld His glory…) [Jn
1:14]. The blood of the Saviour is precious; His very LIFE for us!
As for me, little did I know that changes were taking place, slowly and
subtly but still taking place. Daniel warned of the “wearing down of the saints”. [Dan7:25] This does not
necessarily mean to wear us down with physical pain, that is only one way.
No!
I believe it tends to mean the mental and spiritual strength of the
saints, which the enemy does over a period of time, but sometimes he does it in
one fell swoop like he did to Job. He wants to rob us of our faith, tempt us,
and cause us to be depressed and full of fear.
We can fall back into old ways without even trying. Spiritual warfare is
a reality, not in the sense that the false prophets and false teachers present
it, but I assure you, it is more real than most give it credit.
“We don’t want to give the devil glory – we don’t want to overemphasize
the flesh.” Fine, say that, but you are only fooling yourself. Yes, some
exaggerate things, but there are those types who exaggerate with anything you
can think of.
Reality check: Talking about spiritual
warfare is not giving the devil glory when we know Jesus (Yeshua) is already the victor. Even Sun Tzu, a wise general and a Chinese military strategist instructed
people to know their enemy and themselves.
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| Sun Tzu |
A person stating that they do not want to give the devil glory is like
saying you know he exists but he does not bother you, so why mention him? It is
unwise to be too quick to dismiss mention of the enemy. We must know him. The
Bible gives a clear picture of his nature, his intent, and the great evil that
he is, as are his legions. The reality is that we are in daily battles; one
with our flesh, one with the world, and one with the devil.
All three want all of the attention from us. All three want to be desired
and worshipped, but the devil takes the prize for pride.
The Spirit of Fear Embraces Unbelief
For me, trust had been an
issue for decades in my life, due to far too many dramatic and extreme
circumstances in my life, from infancy on up into adulthood. It affected my
relationship with people, but even more so with God. Fear, which I was confident I had replaced
with trust, gave way to unbelief.
It was sometime shortly after midnight on that warm Saturday summer
night, when three vehicles were oddly situated on the street outside my home.
Earlier that day there had been a quiet party at one of the neighbours. All was
well and folks left early…until late evening arrived and this happened.
I had been doing something on the computer when something caused me to
glance outside (my desk is by the living room window). Two cars were facing the
same way [one illegally] on the road.
Another was backing up the driveway directly across the street. With the
two vehicles facing the same direction, one was legally stopped by the curb;
the other car was beside it, sitting in the middle of the road the wrong way.
Nervously, I shut the computer off (due to the odd parking and the truck
going back and forth in a strange manner in the driveway). I do not know if I
could be seen through the sheers, but I could not see anything inside of any
vehicle. It was too dark.
My imagination was going wild and a spirit of fear moved upon me. It had
only been a short time earlier that I had posted about praying for Christian Iranians,
and how they are not part of the Islamic regime.
In my neighbourhood block are countless families from the Middle East. I
never thought much about it until the post and the bizarre movement of the
vehicles.
When I shut the PC off, one vehicle inched slowly forward, then moved
backward again as IF to see in my window. This was repeated a few times. How
utterly bizarre, so odd.
How much can be seen at night is unknown, but my curtains are sheer. The
fear that came over me was surreal. Was it the post? Why was I so paranoid?
Or was something happening against a neighbour and the light from my
computer made the drivers aware of others being up? Were they nervous about
being watched, or was everything I was seeing an illusion, and nothing to worry
about?
To cut to the quick, the moving around of the vehicles, back and forth,
with one that had been parked the wrong way on the street, only to suddenly
turn the car around and park the right way, all seemed so freakish...bizarre.
None of it was normal. Were the people high? Were they up to no good, or
was it just drunken behavior? After all, there had been a birthday celebration
earlier.
The other vehicle had also turned around and parked legally behind the car
at the curb, but away from the driveway entrance onto the roadway. Both
vehicles were running, as was the truck in the driveway, but now just parking lights were on.
Prayed but No Waiting for Answer
Twenty minutes passed and my fear was surreal. With my physical
disabilities I knew there was no way I could defend myself. I did pray and
quoted scriptures, but my heart was racing, my spirit unsettled.
I grabbed my walker and headed toward my daughter’s room, waking her up.
She wasn’t up immediately, so I headed back to the living room. She came about
five minutes later. The activity had been going on for about 25 minutes by that
time. She looked out the window, stating that everything seemed calm.
When she said so, I too looked out. The vehicle in the driveway was now
turned off, including their parking lights as well. It was still. One vehicle had left, and
the other was sitting with just parking lights on.
There was now nothing unusual
or freaky happening. My daughter gave me a hug, tears of relief fell, and I was
feeling very foolish and ashamed. She silently hugged me for a minute or so.
As I looked out again, I observed that the two cars were both gone now (that fast, within a minute), and the truck sat quietly parked for the night in the driveway. What had just happened? It was almost like I had imagined it all, but I know that I did not.
Embarrassed, I stated that sometimes when things seem odd, all we need
is someone else’s perspective to calm us. She agreed, told me she loved me, and
went back to bed. Now, I sat silently upon the couch, feeling like a doofa
(female version of ‘doofus’).
God had answered prayer when I prayed during the height of all the activity, just not as "fast or quickly as I had hoped. I was impatient, full of fear and unbelief...
I had prayed before I went to wake up my daughter, calling on God to help me. I
quoted Isaiah 54:17 and other scriptures. But I did not even give God time to
respond. It was a microwave moment (where things had to be instant) … but it
was not to be, so I ran to ‘mankind' (in this case, my daughter),
instead of waiting upon God. Trusting in a person instead of trusting in our Sovereign God!
I had failed God. How could I face Him now? Fear and
unbelief took the place of faith and trust. Now I did not even know what to say
to Yahweh. God saw it all.
Confusion, shame, condemnation, guilt – every negative feeling and
thought now hindered me. How could I have not trusted God? He worked with me
for 39 years with several miraculous interventions, and this was the outcome? Why?
How could I have failed Jesus in such a serious way?
To be continued…
for His glory
Bonita
dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com
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