Are we not supposed to be a 'spiritual example'? So, the one who encourages cannot encourage themselves? (Wasn't that Job's problem?)
It was not just a week or two weeks, it had begun some time back, near
the beginning of the year. I likely could go back further to 2017, but suffice
it to say, beginning (yes, I know) in 2020 (when everyone and everything went upside down), and moving forward, it had been a continuous, stressful, dramatic haul.
Only because of God [YHWH], through Jesus [Yeshua], via the Holy Spirit am I back on track. He will not let us stay down. He is our unmatchable helper, but we have to humble ourselves.
He has already provided helpers, but we have to quench pride, reach out and admit our need for others as well. It was difficult to do. Pride tried to tell me not to 'bother others';' I could do it on my own if I quit being a hypocrite; "others will know you're not very 'spiritual'; 'you will expose yourself'...Thoughts can be so random and fast-moving. Thoughts can be as individual as we are, and unique, typically according to our personality and life experiences.
They can come from the flesh or they can come from the enemy. Sometimes it is hard to differentiate between the two because flesh and Satan (and his legions) work hand in hand.
But Jesus said He would send a Helper, a Comforter, which is the Holy Spirit. And it was He who helped me to put pride on the cross and crucify it and reach out not only to others, but to Him.
How I thank God for solid Christian friends; someone who is there whether good weather or storming darkness; they stand with you in the gap and sincerely pray.
Give thanks for such treasures, yet of more value than hidden treasures of gold, jewels and fine trinkets: they are a rare find. They are actually gifts from God. We do well to cover each other in prayer, and honour our Creator who does all things well.We have to admit we are frail humans, prone to sin, prone to the ways of the flesh - in need of help. You may say, "Well, perhaps you have sinned, but I am not and have not sinned."
Some people have a critical spirit and do not recognize it in themselves because they call it discernment, even if they end up being in error in the "judgment" - that is, even in their 'discerning'.
Some go by the word of others, perhaps someone who has praised them in the past, or who hold them in high esteem. So, they trust their 'judgment'. "Surely, their word can be trusted. I mean, heck, they were right about me."
Pride can be subtle. We all have it. I used to think I had 'many faults', but not 'pride' (laugh out loud and shake my head - I've arrived at some very foolish conclusions in my youth at times.
Yet God is faithful to point out the beam in our eye - the reason that we cannot see clearly or accurately. Righteous Counselor, Faithful and True just like the book of Revelation says.
Doubt, unbelief, pride, bitterness (anger stemming from the root of bitterness), strife, evil sayings (putting someone down, judging harshly, belittling, hurtful comments), unforgiveness), even uncontrolled nasty thoughts that we entertain; all these fleshly things are sins.
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ [2Cor 10:5]
Every single one of us, including those we consider the wisest and most discerning, can get it wrong sometimes. Me, you, everyone...every person EXCEPT Jesus (our Yeshua). And NONE of us like to be wrong or admit it.
Remember Solomon, considered the wisest and most discerning, even to this day? Yet, even he did err in the end, seriously err - in disobeying God.
We do not, should not, compare ourselves to others. There is no comparison. We can drive ourselves crazy if we try to do so. There are always others worse off; that's a given, but it does not lessen nor does it negate our load. Pain is pain; suffering is suffering. We all have breaking points. Look at the famous examples - Moses, Job, Elijah, David...
My sins may not be your sins. Your sins may not be mine. But the Word of God is very clear. It is written:
Even the righteousness of God, which is by faith of Jesus Christ [Yeshua HaMashiach] unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; [Rom 3:21-22]
Updating now to 20 22: I would have to also go back to the beginning of the year (around late January or early February 2022 when the Lord first impressed “moving” upon my heart).
Due to the long trip from B.C., (lengthened by Canada's national holiday - July 1st birthday - and hindered by massive construction zones all throughout Ontario), I was completely and utterly undone – exhausted – steamrolled
– empty – drained, YET, I could not, would not give up.
There is NO SHAME in needing help. Proof? When Jesus was beaten down, with barely any physical strength left, a Roman soldier called out Simon of Cyrene to help Him carry the cross.
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| No Shame! |
He was undone. He had no strength left - beaten down, weary, exhausted, in extreme physical pain - yet He did not quit. He did not give up. He carried on, amidst the mockery, the hurtful comments, the jeering crowds, the laughter of demons...He did not quit. He endured...
Yes, it is bloody hard. Yes, it is tempting to quit, to say 'enough'. But get the help needed - there is no shame in it. Thank You Jesus (Yeshua) for being such a perfect example of enduring despite frailty, and despite an oppressive crowd, and a world gone mad and wrong in its 'judgment'...
Mercy Granted to Work on the Fruitless Tree [Lk 13:8-9]
But You Lord are good and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon You.
In the day of my trouble I will call upon You: for You will answer me.
For great is Your mercy toward me: and You have delivered my soul from the lowest hell. [Ps 86:5, 7, 13]
How can I give up? How can I just quit - after all the Lord has done? I know where the Lord brought me from, and know all the work He has been doing. It has not been easy. Although some religious peacocks may strut and admit God did some work in them, they fan their eye-catching, beautiful feathers to reveal that He did not have "much" to do...
But this black sheep was covered in the counterfeit "oil" of the earth, gritty and soiled, blemished, even corrupted - O, but the work the Lord patiently has done, is doing and yet shall do...ALL to the glory of Jesus!
He has done, is doing a good work, and shall continue until the day of Jesus Christ. [Phil 1:6] He has dug up the fallow ground, purged, pruned...so much hard work in order to produce fruit. Others may give up on us, reject us, judge us, condemn us, but Christ will not.
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Luke 13:6-9 - Parable of the fruitless fig tree
artist_Jan Luyken
click any picture to enlarge |
I felt divided and I am well aware of the
scripture that says: a house divided against itself will not stand. [Mk
3:25]
O, but the temptations, O but the thoughts. I
felt I would die; then I wanted to die, but not really – O what a mess, what a
heyday. Remember, a gentle reminder again, that Satan used scripture; he used the Word to speak to the Word (Jesus) in the flesh, to trip Him up.
Notwithstanding, Jesus countered scripture with scripture. Satan attempted to take the Word out of context, Jesus countered with the Word IN context. Satan had to leave...for a season. [Lk 4:13]
Over the years I have spoken of dark nights of the soul. I have spoken
(written) of other hard, dark seasons, knowing each time that I was not alone in it, but ah, how alone one does feel in it.
I have shared about incredulous
battles because I knew in my heart that others were suffering through such
battles as well. It is called the "body of Christ" for a reason; many members, all individual, yet connected through Christ, by the Holy Spirit. We abide...as branches upon the Vine.
But remember, dear reader, we are in a time
like no other. The attack against the people of God is very real. It has
increased exponentially. I told my eldest daughter when I was visiting her in
Calgary (as well as her younger sister) that I used to speak little
about witchcraft, Satan or the 'devil', because many times people would blame their own sins on the
devil.
A certain [unnamed] person I knew for a long time would steal the line from a famous sitcom from the 80s and say, "the devil made me do it". Although they laughed, they meant it.
Either that or people saw the devil under every
bush, in every person, or else blamed him for every hardship, difficulty or tragedy, even those events and occurrences that
life in general presents.
However now, my friends, NOW we must admit that
witchcraft, demonic rituals, occult practices and beliefs are in our face and
exalted on high like never before in the history of the world.
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| Birmingham Commonwealth Games 2022 |
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Katy Perry-occultic symbology and
mockery of the cross |
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| harlot and the beast [book of Revelation] |
The entire world is chanting and celebrating –
to welcome the Lawless One, to welcome Satan. We hear many repeating the words
of the prophet Isaiah that the majority of people (globally) are calling good evil and
evil good. Witchcraft is exalted, homosexuality is advertised as normal, pedophilia
is no longer considered a crime by many and laws are already changing to accept
it.
Woe to those who call evil good and
good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter
for sweet and sweet for bitter. [Is 5:20]
Soldier of Christ
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| Humility is at the core of the strongest warrior |
The Mightiest Soldiers Get WearyHave you not known? have You not heard that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, faints not, neither is weary? [there is] no searching of His understanding. [Is 40:28]
But friend, need I remind you that neither you, nor I, nor any other is God? We do weary; we do grow faint. Yet we have a Helper, an Advocate, a strong arm to uphold us. He is well aware...He is willing, ready and able to help.
He gives power to the faint; and to [them that have] no might, He increases strength. [v 29]
(I can surely vouch for that Word being true. He is my [our] strength. BP)
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
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My people shall rise up when they rely on Me
- says the Creator of all |
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. [Is 40:31-32]
We need to encourage each
other, soldier of Christ. We need to humble ourselves and confide in trusted comrades if we are
struggling with unbelief or doubts. We are in this war together, even if we are assigned to or engaged in different battles.
There are times we fight alongside each other. There are times the Lord Himself fights for us or on our behalf. Other times, He assigns holy angels to war for us.
If thoughts are whizzing through your mind, if doubts
are threatening to penetrate your shield of faith, if turbulence is beating upon your house, admit the truth and act.
Our FIRST step (even before our confiding in
our comrades) is to humble ourselves (and man, pride will fight you, even try
to excuse you), but pour out your heart to the most trusted person there is.
Confess to our first love, Jesus (Yeshua) all that we are
going through. He is trustworthy. He is compassionate, merciful, wise - He knows just what to do; what is best for us, whether it be comfort or discipline (chastisement) or both, or something else, He knows better than we do.
He is good, and His mercy endures forever. Confess unbelief and doubt, even fear if there be any. Fear has
torment. Christ will not condemn you; Satan does that. The Messiah is ready to forgive; He gave His life for this...for us, for all who will believe.
Have you had tormenting thoughts? Have you been
overwhelmed by what you see as you go shopping – people still masked up in many
instances, even alone in their cars, wearing a mask and gloves. ?
Do you see the fear they are operating in? Do you see how easily they were programmed? Have you asked the Lord for truth in the matter, especially when the powers that be are "purposely" seeking to divide the people and stir up hatred, racism and violence.
Then the other
side, where no mask is worn, just normal behaviour (at least, what was
considered “normal” before Covid was announced).
If you are exhausted for whatever reason, get rest.
But go to God too. I was so, so weary and I could NOT get rest. The demands upon me were surreal and continuous. They were such of the kind that had to be addressed, as they could not be delayed, ignored or dismissed.
One thing
after another was demanded of me. Physically, the pain I was going through was
off the charts. I would wake up weeping – but I FORGOT to find reason to give
thanks and praise. I am reporting this not for sympathy, but to let any others who are undone with pain, that you are not alone. God will help.
We can anger at God because He doesn't take something away instantly (then there are those who despise Him because He does), but in reality, where does that bitterness get us? It eats away at us like a cancer, but it will not do the same to God.
The Lord does not expect us to thank Him for
the pain, but I could surely thank Him that I awoke to a new day, another opportunity to 'get it right'. The truth of the matter is that this flesh will never 'get it right'.
It is corrupted (our carnal mind is at enmity against our Creator [Rom 8:7]), and there will always be 'something' we need to deal with or to work on - (even as the last shovel of dirt is thrown upon our coffin).
I could thank
Him that I can still walk, even if it is with a cane, or even a walker. I can
thank Him that my breathing has improved 80 percent and continues improving.(I'm convinced the places I was living in [mold] interfered with my breathing.)
I can thank Him that the swelling from a
blocked lymphatic system has gone down. I can thank Him that arthritis, though painful, has not crippled me.
I could have been more thankful, yes, but I have to admit that there were days when
I would weep and say: “I can’t do this anymore.” "I don't want to do this any more." "Why do I have to go through this; what did I do or not do?" "What is expected of me?" "When will our covenant happen?"
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... More self-pity and tears - in abundance.
Then, I backpaddled, having had second thoughts. The fear of the Lord kicks in and I bow in my heart and spirit to the Father who has loved me through all my nonsense, all my outbursts, all my lack of understanding, all of my ... IMPATIENCE! Where was gratitude hiding?
There were sincere apologies for failing Him, yet there was also begging for healing,
asking for death if our [personal] covenant was not going to happen. What a mixed bag.
Truth is that I do not wish to die, any more than Moses, Job or Elijah did. Well, perhaps in that desperate moment, but that moment cries out for change, not death. (Help, Lord! I am undone.) I merely needed rest and relief, but is that how a grateful child reacts?
It has been years of daily pain. The trip did cause a major shift because for the last four days out of the six day journey, motels were booked solid due to the holiday. The back of my SUV was fully loaded with all my possessions, everything I owned.
That meant four days of constantly being in the sitting position. Since I was in a hurry to meet up with the [potential] new landlords to sign a lease, I had no time to waste, but the hours upon hours added on due to construction, at times sitting 20, 30 or so minutes, whilst one lane traffic could sometimes cover a good mile, surely added to the stress physically.
I am so grateful to a dear and close friend who made it possible for me to even get a motel, at the beginning, and then again after the lease was signed and the landlord asked if they could have an 'extra' day to move out (moving out the 2nd, rather than the 1st).
It was so hard to say - "O sure"...."be my guest!" (forced smile) Ah was my flesh ever being sat on - hard... by me - to keep it from reacting! I just wanted to rest...and because of that same friend, I was able to because Canada's national holiday, July 1st was over, and people were returning home. I was to move into our new place July 2nd with my son.
I found the only room in a filthy motel that was vacant, but it meant I could lay down! Normally I am not overly fussy, but the room was unmade (by the pictures you would think I had used the bed and towels, but I assure I had not: that was the condition of the room).
$190 was the gouge, due to lack of vacancies. Ouch, adding insult to injury, I daresay! Other pictures are thrown in that reveal the dirt, but it actually reveals the lack of care or responsibility by the management. I did fall asleep quickly though and slept for seven hours - I truly was utterly exhausted!
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| unmade or used bed |
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| used linen |
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| cigarette burns |
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| filth |
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| grossly dirty |
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| more filth |
Voices Quoting Scripture and Condemnation
Satan Uses Scripture AND Condemns
STOP! STOP! Stop the voice of the enemy. He
throws scripture at us just like he did to Jesus (Yeshua) in the desert wilderness. in order to confuse us, to make
us think we have gone insane, that we have joined the lost; that we were never saved. Lies, all lies.
We may even ask the Lord, “How do I know if I’ve
lost my faculties, like I’ve gone over the deep end? Do crazy people know they are crazy, or that something is 'off'? O God please help me! Too many voices...I’m
so confused.”
For every battle of the warrior is with confused noise, and garments rolled in blood; but this shall be with burning and fuel of fire.
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder: and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, the mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. [Is 9:5-6]
And the still small voice assures me (gently
reminds me) that God is not the author of confusion but of peace...[1Cor 14:33] We are in
a bloody war, fellow warriors. It is an invisible war that is becoming more and more visible as the time of the Lawless One and his revealing approaches.
And if you have become so weary [Dan 7:25] that you are not
watching your words, if you are so steamrolled that you have not sought to
speak forth scriptures (keeping your sword in its sheath – or – the Word indeed being in
your heart, but sitting idle), or if you have not humbled yourself and confessed your
weakness and all you’ve been in error over, then do so now.
I promise you that our Lord is close to a
broken and contrite heart. I promise you that He truly does lift up the humble
one. I promise you that He immediately forgives and tosses our forgiven sins into the depths of the sea. [Micah 7:18, 19]
Our humbling ourselves will all be worth it. I promise you that Jesus, the Faithful
and True One will get you back on the right track. He will restore your
strength (He IS our strength). He will honour your sincerity and guard your brokenness; He will heal.
He always said to me (and I called my testimony this): "First the Inside of the Cup"
You blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
I cannot think of anyone who wants to be full of dead men's bones and all manner of uncleanness. Allow the Holy Spirit to purge and cleanse by the priceless blood of the Lamb. He is thorough; He knows the best way and method to clean each individual vessel and it may not be the same way for one as it is for another, but when the Lord is done, His work is perfection! (For our sake, but for His glory - always! A good Father...)
He will shut the mouths of the lions. He will
re-enforce our shield (of faith, for He is the Author and the Finisher of our
faith). His love is perfect. There is no fear in love, and He will cast out all FEAR, for fear has torment.
He that has fear is not made perfect in love. [1Jn 4:18] He "did not give you [us] a spirit of fear but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." [2Tim1:7] Selah
Message of the Lord – August 17,
2022
The
turbulence (the violent storm) has been from the enemy. Is it not
written that though the rains and turbulent winds beat against the house that I
built, it WILL stand? It will not crumble; it will not break down or
fall apart. It will stand!
O yes, it
may creak, and it may make noise as the winds slap the wood hard against
itself. If the wood had ‘feelings’, it would hurt. If wood were flesh,
it would be battered and bruised, so violent the winds can be. So heavy the
rains can fall that if the house had breath, it would ‘feel’ as though
it were drowning.
(I
understood that the Lord was revealing to me that our “feelings” will/can
betray us. I have been guilty of allowing my emotions/feelings to rule at
times, and I have always been one to state that emotions most often override logic
[sigh – to my chagrin, but praise God for correction]! BP)
Gasps of
desperation to survive would be heard. So shaken is the house in that storm
that even if it could speak, it would not be able to describe all it “felt”
– no thought would give a satisfactory description. But the house still stands
when the winds and the flooding have ceased, for it is a house that I built and
it was wisely built upon a ROCK. [Mat 7:24, 25]
All damage
done by the enemy will be healed and restored. I heard your sincere prayers of
repentance. I saw. My eyes were open. I heard. Indeed, My ear paid attention. [2Chron 7:14, 15] I gathered up your bitter
tears and bottled them for they are precious to Me. [Ps 56:8] You are precious
to Me.
You are not
the only one who ever listened to the lies of the enemy, whose subtle, crafty
speeches were convincing enough to stir up unbelief and doubt.
(Not only did I know the Lord was referring to Adam and Eve, but even to this very day, Satan comes at those who love the Lord and seek to be in His will obediently, lovingly. BP)
Yes, your
eyes were opened to the truth – to the reality that you were doubting Me,
doubting yourself, doubting who you are in Me, as the enemy overshadowed and
cloaked you in the dark heaviness of unbelief.
Do not take
on shame. You are not the first, nor shall you be the last, for in these ending
times, Satan and his legions feverishly attack My people, particularly those
who are doing or have done much in the spiritual realm.
The evil
ones wait until you are weak, either from physical, mental, emotional or
spiritual exhaustion – or weakened by continuous nonstop pain physically, or in soul or spirit.(I understood as I wrote this that it could be one,
two or all areas where we are depleted of strength and energy. BP)
The enemies
of the cross [also] overwhelm when one is steadily busy with little time for
rest, let alone time for prayer or time with Me. No, you are not the first, nor
are you the last. Moses, Job, Elijah, Jeremiah – these are but four who fell
into the miry pits of despair, depression and hopelessness.
All were
helped by Me. They were not condemned; they were lovingly guided back upon the
right path by Me, for I AM the Good Shepherd.
[Jn 10:11]
You were
right to humbly repent, confessing unbelief and doubt, for it is faith that
pleases Me. You trust Me to forgive, and forgive I have indeed. Now stop
condemning yourself. Instead, stand tall with Me and let us walk together, for
I AM the LORD of the battle. [2Chron 20:14]
You, along
with countless of My children have been crying out for healing to be manifested,
for the pain [for multitudes] has increased, and months and years have
slid by. {Warfare and witchcraft have increased exponentially. It shall worsen.]
Do not look
back as Lot’s wife. [Gen 19:26] Look into My eyes and know a good work has been
done [Phil 1:6], and fruit is becoming [more] abundant [from purging]. [Jn 15:2] My own begotten Son [Jesus/Yeshua]
suffered tremendously, yet He trusted Me through it, seeing His reward ahead.
[Heb 12:2]
Yes, faith and trust go hand in hand. In this I AM well-pleased. [Heb11:6]
See the healing
and restoration as done, for it is done in the spiritual.
(It is written
that first the physical and then the spiritual [1Cor 15:46], but to keep
things in context, I understood that the Lord knows the end from the beginning,
so to Him, it is already done. To us, it is upon us. BP)
Do not give
up when the finish line is in sight. How many times have I said to you that the
strongest onslaught in a battle is just before the victory? The world has
opened its arms to receive the Lawless One.
Celebrations
contain satanic and occult rituals, in plain sight, and the lost (and the deceived) applaud the
grandeur. Watch and see what I am about to do. The clash of the kingdoms is a
reality, yet as I stand in My Sovereignty, it is the adversary [with his
armies] that run up and clash against My steadfastness.
PRIDE has
never left the enemy. In fact, it has increased so much that his banner of “PRIDE”
now flies high around the world. Globally, all nations have embraced Satan’s
lies, even taking the rainbow and its colours, as he falsely “promises”
victory.
The temporal
will not last into eternity, yet Satan and his legions have blinded the people
and deceived the whole world. My Word shall be fulfilled and NONE can
stay My hand. Yet how and when it plays out in its entirety is up to Me.
Your hope is
in the final outcome, when you will live in the new earth, under the new heaven
and behold the New Jerusalem. [Rev 21:1, 2] When My people are resurrected [Jn
5:29] and live in their glorified bodies [Phil 3:21], all sorrow and tears will
be forever gone. [Rev 21:4]
There is
hope in your end. For now, stand tall, confident that you abide in Me and I in
you. [Jn 15:4] Your willing obedience to
Me and to My commandments is not without reward. [Rom 2:6] My faithful people shall join with
My holy angels to celebrate all that has been accomplished; all My promises
fulfilled.
You picked
up your sword after repentance and forgiveness, and having on the full armour,
you now see victory. Use the sword continually (My Word), for it is sharp and
battle-worthy. Miracles as never before seen are manifesting – many in places
that you cannot see, but that you have prayed for. (I was moved and led by
the Spirit of Christ to pray for the Philippines, Africa and India – and other
places. BP)
Prayer for
Israel, and for the salvation of Muslims and Hindus and others have been heard.
I am moving. The enemy is furious – so strong is his pride; so hateful is his
wrath.
Fear not
that which you see [the temporal]. Continue to trust in Me knowing that
all I do is wise and righteous. Embrace the shalom of My Christ and continue on
strong, for I am the steady hand that holds you when you are weak.
I am He
that comforts – He that restores: He that heals. So many say they will endure
to the end, until they see how long the road is. Remember, the adversary does
not play by any rules. He does not play. He is a vicious lion seeking whom he
may devour. 
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