Failed Report
January 6, 2015 4:30 PM
I just got out of the hospital on this sixth day of a stay, having had (yet again) pneumonia. As I am on a borrowed computer at this time, I will spare the details, but suffice it to say that although I was given a most negative report of a health matter completely unrelated to what I went in for (and a most serious diagnosis), the LORD is Sovereign and He took care of it.
Suffice it
to say, a judgmental doctor ended up with a failed report.
When I was first given the diagnosis (and the severity of it), I truly
thought my time on earth was over and suddenly everything seemed so different.
Priorities change and my heart filled with gratitude for what the LORD has done
for me all my life, even when I was not walking with Him.
If there
was fear, it was not so much about death as it was about deep reflection and
searching my heart before GOD. I know that we all fall short…and believe me, I
am well aware of all of my shortcomings and faults. I prayed about secret
faults and presumptuous sins - I want none of it. That is where the Holy Spirit
shines forth and does His work.
We can either be very tough on ourselves, showing no mercy, or we can justify
all we think, say and do. I tend to be hard on myself, setting high standards.
It is likely some hidden effort to compensate for all the wrong (sins, evil)
that I did in life, but then, that takes away what Jesus did for me (for all
who believe).
I
digress...help me, Lord. It takes the most Holy Spirit to lead us and help us.
So, I prayed many, many Psalms, such as:
Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from my secret faults. Keep
back Thy servant from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me:
Then shall I be upright and I shall be innocent from the great transgression. [Ps19:12]
I spoke to the Lord about many, many things as I sat hour after hour in the
hospital. Then, slept on a two inch mat used on stretchers; in Emergency
Overflow - Ambulatory Care. Thanksgiving to the LORD for the medical help
finally, as I have been fighting illness since my arrival back in Canada in
late September (now into the fourth month; it just keeps recycling).
I spoke to the Lord of the stigmatism attached to homelessness (also fourth month), and how I noticed different attitudes, comments and behaviours. I poured out my heart about many things, having pondered much. Having been seen by a doctor from Guatemala, and cared for by Filipino and Japanese nurses (among many others, of course), my heart considered the many nations of the world and the days ahead.
Those three people (male doctor-Guatemala; male nurse-Filipino; female nurse-Japanese) all treated me as if I were royalty, so kind. Perhaps because they come from countries that know poverty, and know discrimination. Perhaps...
Or perhaps
they were angels assigned by the Lord; or regular, yet real people handpicked
by God to look after me in my weakened, very ill condition. The constant
pneumonia had weakened me in every way. I know only Jesus has been my strength.
But Jesus...
My heart ached for family, friends, brethren, the lost, the prodigals, those
blinded from truth…amazing how we think when we believe we are on death's
doorstep. I suppose that is when the real intent and condition of the heart is
exposed. Perhaps - perhaps not...
I am going
to share what the LORD gave me in that dark hour, as I waited for the test
results of the MRI and endoscopy. Even as the Holy Spirit gave me the words, I
knew they were not just for me. I humbly share the words of the holy King -- it
is for His glory alone.
Just a note -- when He spoke of reports, I knew He was speaking to me about
'medical' reports. A middle-aged, white doctor had mentioned a pancreas
problem, and asked if I drank, likely because I was in a shelter for the
homeless.
When I told him that drinking was very rare, and that I may have a glass of wine or something, he indirectly suggested that I was lying. There was a dark spot on the pancreas, which was likely indicative of alcohol or drug use.
I explained again that drinking was rare, and drugs were a negative. "You never drank in excess or did drugs?" he asked in a rather snarky, condescending way. I quipped back, "Well, when I was younger, but I did a lot of foolish things when I was younger."
He put away his equipment, stating [roughly] that in the morning I would be taken down for an endoscopy. So yes, I knew the Lord was speaking of the medical 'reports' (which I would get the next day).
Yet I also
was aware that it encompassed [personal] reports that others were going to
receive, as well as reports that are coming (world events). Please take all
things to the Lord; including this word.
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Outward Appearances
Do not fear the reports. You have wondered at My silence, yet I say to you I
speak not when I am listening and observing. You have gone through the
emotions, as Job, as Jonah, as David and Jeremiah, as even Simon Peter -- as
all the forerunners. Yet again, I say to you, through it all you have held fast
to your faith, trusting Me and obeying. Which of My people did not go through
emotions; tell Me if you can.
Today, even some of My own people long to sugarcoat My Word and serve it on a
politically correct tray, dripping with the stench of pride and religion. Any
emotion beyond calm and soft (gentle) is considered drama or aggressive.
Why were the prophets hated? Why was My own Son Y'shua the Messiah (Jesus
the Christ) of Nazareth scorned and crucified? Was Elijah gentle in his
approach to Jezebel and her false prophets? Was Jeremiah gentle in his approach
when speaking to his own people and authorities?
Ah, yet
there would be those who say that was before Christ. Yet, did the prophets I
chose not speak through the power of My Spirit and did not those who did
marvellous works not do so by My power, by My Spirit - or did they do such and
speak such by their own power and righteousness?
What of John the Baptist, was he gentle in his approach to Herod? Was My Son
gentle in His anger with the Pharisees and Sadducees? When Y'shua spoke with
the multitudes regarding John, He asked them who they went out to see - a reed
shaken in the wind? Or did they go to see a man clothed in soft raiment (fine
clothes)?
Yet, He
went on to say that John was a messenger sent to prepare the way before Him. He
further stated that among those born among women, there was none greater than
John the Baptist, except he who was least in the kingdom is greater than
him. [Mat 11:7-11]
Fear not what others think of you, for it is written that man looks upon the
outward appearance, but God looks upon the heart. [1Sam 16:7] Even
My own people oft judge each other on their countenance (looks, beauty)
and height (build). They judge one's position, gender, race,
possessions, clothing, yet they will not believe a messenger of God would come
to them disheveled, poorly dressed or even homeless, nor would they believe if
I sent a mere child.
Rebuke when I move you to rebuke; show mercy when I move you to show mercy, but
be not surprised at those who will not hear. Do your part and I will do Mine. I
am the potter, you are the clay - so are they.
Remember the words written about the last generation and observe wisely.
Many have warned for decades and the people sigh and say; "We've
heard it all before - where is the promise of His coming?"
Keep strong in your faith, yet remember, you cannot do all in your own
strength, for when you are weak, I am strong. Though many of My people are worn
out and discouraged, beaten down by life, they hold fast to their faith.
Forgive those who wallow in pride and lack understanding. Remember that it is
written: Being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good
work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ [Phil
1:6] Only believe!
Finally my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might [Eph 6:10]
Prepare, Watch and Pray
Reports will come, as they always do, but be not soon shaken (not by word,
or by letter). All of this is preparation, to bring you to the place
I would have you to be. Revival will come upon North America and many dry
places globally, but not the way people think.
(Note: I
understood that revival will come in waves (not tidal waves, not tsunamis).
The Lord made it clear to me that it begins within each of us - we must be
revived first. Repentance where necessary, forgiveness...the cross; for this
reason Christ shed His precious blood for mankind, and on the third day He rose
in victory! BP)
Healing
miracles; restoration miracles (healing and restoration), salvation and
deliverances coming in such volume upon multitudes that none shall be able to
stop the reports (though they will try to).
Leave all up to Me. I guide My people (direction), as they trust in Me.
Keep your focus on Me and watch and see what I will do. I shall make a way.
Stand back and watch; hold fast and pray. Much is coming, but My people have
been being prepared. The preparation has not been easy; it has been challenging,
frustrating, difficult, yet My people will stand when others will fall away,
and others still will have failing hearts for fear.
Yea, I am the Sovereign God. Fear not. I am with you. I have chosen you as a
vessel unto honour.
Has not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one
vessel unto honour and another unto dishonour? [Rom 9:21]
Let the beauty of the LORD our GOD be upon us: and establish You the
work of our hands upon us: Yea, the work of our hands, establish it. [Ps
90:17] - Moses]
(Update: The smug, unbelieving doctor
returned the next day with the test results. He was almost apologetic. His
entire attitude toward me was different. Why? Because the test result on the
pancreas came back – all was healthy and well. He had looked down on what he
believed was an alcoholic homeless, middle-aged woman. He judged by outward
appearances. BP)
Before destruction, a man
is haughty, And before honour is humility. [Prov 18:12]
for His glory alone
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