Does Suffering Bring God's Silence?

Simple But Challenging

A thousand shall fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come nigh you. Only with your eyes shall you behold and see the reward of the wicked. [Ps 91:7-8]

In the most desperate situations, hope may seem to be a stranger, but just as Jesus/Yeshua promised never to leave or forsake us, hope too is never far away. Sometimes we are blindsided by the enemy who is dedicated to taking us out, or at the very least, have us deny the power and the promises of God, to come undone and to deny Christ.

Sometimes the adversary brings in opposition, in what appears to be helpful ways. He has his watchers and those who report in to him. He knows exactly who to pick when we are in a weakened state.

Yes, perhaps something as unexpected as a personality clash that could bring about ‘drama’, not to mention making us feel like a poor excuse of a Christian. Yes, his hatred can present as harmless, subtle and crafty, yet is strong, destructive and evil.

Once we learn to obey the Lord’s instruction to “lean not on your own understanding”, but to simply ‘trust in Him [Prov 3:5-6]’, not only does it make perfect sense, but we learn the wisdom and benefit in following that lead.

Yet be prepared for a challenge because the flesh ‘needs to know’, needs to ‘understand’, demands that everything ‘makes sense’. Our logic will try to rule again, but set the face like a flint and let trust reign.

When we follow the lead of our forerunners in the Bible, no matter how bizarre or outlandish it seems, we will be astounded at the results. Indeed, hope may seem obscured by darkness, but just like the sun that disappears behind dark clouds, hope will again shine, strengthening the heart with its warm light.

The idea of singing praises to God whilst heading into the battleground or in the middle of a battle, may seem surreal, but what would it hurt to put the Word of God and the example of our ancient brethren to the test?

It is such a simple act, yet indeed, a most challenging one – especially to our carnal nature (flesh). Something to consider…

Fear Has Torment

                       

But the fearful [cowardly], and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. [Rev 21:8]

There are a couple of comments I would like to make regarding the above verse. Firstly, when I posted a brief announcement that I was out of the hospital, and mentioned the ‘very real battle’ we all face, and how it is not for cowards, the above verse was what I was thinking about.

But the fearful (as the Bible calls them) are not committed, cannot be counted on; do not have deep roots. Think upon Jesus’ parable about the seeds [Mat 13:3-9]. All I have come to understand (and it may not be the answer fully), but the fearful do not trust Christ wholly, nor do they trust the love of Jesus, or perhaps it is they think His love is limited [has boundaries, which it has not].

They fear messing up (and I am not excusing sin – none of us can keep on justifying and practicing sin like we did before salvation). Face it. This flesh is at enmity against God.

Enmity - deep-seated hatred – Source: Easton’s bible dictionary

Enmity causes me to think of “enemy” – our flesh is an enemy against God, and yes, against us (our spirit). Why? Because it is a ‘fallen’ nature; it went from a pure, glorified state to an unclean, corrupted (carnal) state. Adam and Eve became separated from God by their sin. Unless we are born-again (spiritually), we too, remain separated from God due to our sinful nature.

I used to fear messing up. I wondered who could walk this walk if everything is a sin, like emotions, thoughts, actions – not all of them, of course, but what I mean is understood. However, as we grow in Christ, and read the Bible, and learn from godly preachers who stick to the gospel of Christ and to the Word of God, keeping it in context…we learn.

We grow; we mature. We learn that it is okay to be angry when it is righteous anger, or to have normal fears. How many times does the Lord or an angel say to a person, ‘fear not’ or ‘do not be afraid’? I had to learn that it is okay to have doubts when we hear certain things, or else we may well become trapped by a cult or false doctrine.

It is okay to have doubts if something seems off, or else we will be foolish and be moved by every wind of doctrine. I had to learn the difference between ‘discerning doubt’ and doubt that leads to ‘unbelief in God or Jesus’ (lack of trust).

A coward will give up the faith when persecution comes along, and it will come. Persecution is part of a believer’s life, and given the time we are in now (according to scripture), get ready for persecution to worsen globally if you are a true disciple/follower of Jesus/Yeshua the Christ/Messiah.

Get it down in your heart and accept the fact that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us, and now we are justified by His blood, and saved from His wrath. [Rom 5:8, 9] His love is real, not superficial, not like the world’s ‘love’.

In Your Darkest Hour, Christ Jesus Has You

Accepting His perfect love will cast out the fear that torments people because love has no fear. [1Jn 4:18]

I know I had trust issues, love issues (had a hard time believing God loved me after all the sins I have committed, which even some Christians like to remind one of). 

The Lord brought me through many trials, tribulations and tests over the years that would teach me to trust Him – when there was nowhere else to turn. He was always there, even when I was not committed to Him.

(Retrospect revealed this to me in due time.) Sure, I believed – so do the demons, and the devil himself (and tremble) [Jam 2:19], but there was no commitment yet. Talk about longsuffering! God is so patient; and I know I am not the only one He is patient with.

Not to be mistaken for ‘greasy grace’ (for those who believe God turns a blind eye to sin once we are born-again; that is not true); God is wise. None can coerce or manipulate Him, or pull the proverbial ‘wool over His eyes’ – the Shepherd knows all the ways of the sheep.

Looking around at certain leaders today, one might think they can hoodwink God, but it is the season of consequences. It may appear to be unnoticed or overlooked, but justice and judgment await patiently.

I finally tasted the beauty, the purity and the freedom in agape love, once I accepted the fact that God was not a strict disciplinarian, watching every move, waiting for the first slip-up in order to chasten me, nor was He sitting there waiting to slam His gavel down in impatient judgment.

When every love relationship, including that with parents, is combined with abuse, it takes a wise living God to break through the protective walls and tenderly, patiently reveal compassion and the fullness of love that is given freely.

Instead, understanding covers like a warm blanket in the cold; (He knows the life each person has lived; those who have known more hardship than blessing). That does not equal favouritism; it equates knowledge and understanding.

In His wisdom He knows when to bring correction with tenderness or a stern warning or rebuke. He is incredibly accurate and wise in all that He does; He knows each person individually. He alone knows the way to every heart because He alone searches and knows every heart.

He will never force one person to come to Him or to do His will. He allows us the option to choose, and hopefully, we choose wisely. All of us continue to grow and learn, or else we stagnate, and most likely – a lean harvest of fruit, or worse, we fall away. It is up to us, and yet, paradoxically, we cannot do it without Christ, without His precious and Holy Spirit.

Loving and trusting God is not done by cowards. It is done by His children, who learn obedience and long to be in His will, and not their own. Our will fails us; God’s will never fails, and accomplishes His plans perfectly. It is a process, and step by step, from glory to glory, we walk this walk; we run this race.

When we walk after the Spirit and not after our flesh, there is no condemnation for us in Christ. [Rom 8:1] We need to get that down deep inside so that the moment our flesh or some adversary condemns us, we can silence them confidently.

Cowards Get Overwhelmed Rather than Overcome

Do you remember the huge army Gideon had at first? Being cowardly is not a rare or uncommon thing. The Lord had a purpose in mind for Gideon and his army, which was to reduce them so dramatically in number that all of Israel, and all opposing nations would know that victory came only by the hand of GOD of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob alone.

Now therefore go to, proclaim in the ears of the people, saying, Whosoever is fearful and afraid, let him return and depart early from Mount Gilead. And there returned of the people twenty and two thousand; and there remained ten thousand. [Judges 7:3]

Can you imagine that? Twenty-two thousand (22,000) men, fearful and afraid [cowardly – trembling] – 22,000 men returning home and basically making a public statement that they were too fearful (afraid) to fight the armies against Israel.

That was two-thirds of the army of 32,000; leaving 10,000 remaining. It is why we must remember that greater is HE (Jesus) who is in us than he (Satan) that is in the world. [1Jn 4:4] We must trust God more than we fear the adversary.   

Please do not misunderstand. Every person who ever lived long enough has felt fear; it instinctively warns us of danger, or something being wrong. Mankind is also fearful of the unknown, places or things we have never seen or heard of before because then we do not know what to expect. Fear can help us make the right choice (not to take a ride with a certain person or not to go to a certain place).

Then, there is the fear that paralyzes (fear of death, hell, fear of people, being a Christian, etc.); fear that makes one quit or give up. If a person knows (that they know that they know) that God (Jesus) loves them, then His love will cast out fear. His love is perfect, and once it is wholly received, fear leaves. [1Jn 4:18]

This ‘narrow path’ walk is not easy. No, it is not for cowards because they will be overwhelmed by the enemy and his cohorts; they will be deceived easily, and they will give up when the going gets to be more than they can bear. Believe me, those times will come when we feel that we simply cannot take any more – not physically, emotionally, mentally and/or spiritually.

But in those times, we learn to subdue the flesh, to overcome it, and to bravely carry on, even when it means asking our Advocate to grant us strength, and help us to make it through – whether one day at a time, or one shaky step at a time, holding fast to the extended hand of God.

People often say that God does not give us more than we can bear but that is not scriptural when we face trials and tribulations. It is taken out of context. When we are tempted, THEN it says that God will give us a way out [a way of escape], and not allow us to be ‘tempted’ beyond what we are able to handle. [1Cor 10:13]

It pertains to temptation. But when it comes to trials, tribulation, we learn to endure; we push through; we fight the good fight. Remember the parable of the seeds that Jesus taught? The seeds that did not have deep roots could not endure the scorching heat of the sun (fiery furnace of affliction/trial), and it wilted away.

No, it is not easy at times. For example, if our adversaries are too strong, or too many, or if chronic pain goes on for years (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual); or when the battles go on endlessly, we want it to end, to stop – we cry out for relief!

When Suffering Comes, Why Does God Seem Quiet?

Pain comes in many forms, and on different levels (body, soul, spirit), yet pain is pain. It may not be physical pain, but the pain of losing a loved one, or the suffering that comes with losing work, home, financial, mental disorders – loss is loss – pain is pain, hopelessness is hopelessness, despair is despair.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick: but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life. [Prov 13:12]

It is during these times that it seems God is quiet, or it is possible that our grief and suffering have drowned out His voice. But searching the word of God, we see He is silent at times. He was quiet throughout most of Job’s trial, yet He is ever-watching, and very close. Take heart!

When there seems to be no end to the suffering, no way out, no answers, no stopping the treadmill of sorrows and upheavals, we long for our grief to end; we long for relief. At this desperate point, suicide tempts a tormented soul, offering the promise of relief and an end to the constant pain.

It is then that many people take their own lives. Others walk away from God, away from Christ, away from faith – and if they are not saved, they walk away from every one and every thing they hold dear.

We may cry out to go home, saying it is enough, just like Elijah, Moses, Job all did -- but Jesus! He is right here with us; never leaving or forsaking. We only have to call out to Him, and pour out our heart. Thank God for Jesus (Yeshua)!

Pain has a voice, and it is an ugly growl. We are as the wounded tiger – best to be left alone. Yet, that is the very time our flesh seeks comfort. It is a dark hour, a challenging time, but there is good happening inside of us if we can trust God to see us through – and not be ashamed to ask for His help to endure.

Even Jesus, in His darkest and final hour of pain, sorrow and misery, called out, asking the heavenly Father why He had forsaken Him. Yes, people know that pain cries out. The flesh in pain cries out. Flesh has its limits. How wise and thoughtful that God recorded the suffering of Jesus so that we can see how He can completely relate to our suffering, our pain, to the sense of abandonment and rejection.

He is well aware of the misunderstandings of people who see a lengthy trial or sickness and begin to wonder, just as Job’s friends did. (What secret sin are you hiding that God must publicly chastise you? Is the unspoken question of many)

Some people mistakenly think God is punishing them, but He is not. I remember in times past asking, ‘what have I done that is not forgiven. Lord? Tell me and I will repent (turn from it).’ Wrong teaching, and not knowing the Lord as deeply as one can know Him, brings about wrong thoughts and ideas when certain extreme hardships fall upon a soul.

Few, if any of us, understand why some people suffer so much more than others, or for long periods of time. Jesus knows the aloneness of the death march, and the utter despair that caps it.

Yet, through it all, we learn who our true friends are. We discover the goodness and faithfulness of friends who diligently and faithfully pray. We are encouraged and strengthened by brethren who have persevered along with us, with nary a complaint. 

Praise God, and may He bless them 100-fold in their time of need. Love, fruit, strength, courage – all because of Jesus/Yeshua.

My desire to give forth an anointed testimony or message in order to uplift the saints of God was temporarily overruled by fatigue, pain and suffering. These days people like articles spun out daily, whilst others prefer two or more per day. AI is beginning to make that a reality, as more and more writers use apps that allow AI to write for them. Ah, but I remain… old-fashioned (Let me just say it > old school).

A ‘heads up’ for people help them to understand. The reader does not need me to tell them that a testimony not only takes ‘time’, but a ‘going through’.

There is a billion-dollar [inflation duly noted] question that has been circulating since (likely) shortly after the pivotal event that occurred in the Garden of Eden and the fate of the original man, Adam, who surrendered to disobedience, and his wife, having been seduced by temptation, was sealed.

The purity and perfection of creation fell into deception, corruption, and destruction (death newly awaited its newly-appointed moments now). The man and his wife severed the bond between themselves and their Maker, thus becoming separated from God.

They then introduced themselves to death [firstly, spiritual death], when the intent was for mankind to live throughout eternity, life without end – or sorrow – or pain – or anguished-filled tears – or suffering.

Their choices introduced humankind to darkness, evil, and sin [sin separates us from God], and to the pain, sorrow and suffering that follows as a direct reaction to a fallen state, one created and tainted by evil. The question that countless souls have asked down through the ages is worded and reworded in various ways, but the gist is the same.

Why does a loving God allow suffering? Why is God so far away when we suffer? Why does some suffering have to go on for so long, with no seeming end in sight? Worded – reworded, same gist. Why do good people suffer – why do youths die young? Why, God, why?

We are all inspired by a testimony that validates the care, compassion, mercy, grace, power and intervention of the living God. Everyone who has lived long enough in this world has experienced the anguish and despair of pain and suffering. There is NO flesh that can handle either one for very long.

The desire for mercy and compassion is the driving force behind the heart’s cry of desperate words, words pushed out by pain and the duration (years) of it. The depth of suffering can be so cruel that no one who experiences it can understand how God, who has all power to stop anything with just one word, would even allow it. That is why it is a billion-dollar question passed down throughout the ages.

Wounded Tiger

Most people know never to disturb a wounded tiger (or any wounded wild animal). There are days where we prefer to be alone, yet it seems those are the days where there are appointments to attend, or business to take care of. Call it ‘Murphy’s Law’, which is understood to basically mean: If it can go wrong, it will, and with the worst timing.

There are times that I believe Satan picks certain people to cross our path to trip us up. He delights in doing this when we are at a low point, feeling weak, tired, or sick. Personality clashes, or simply a wrong action causing unnecessary additional pain or grievance can be diversions.

Nevertheless, we must realize that we fight this flesh until the day we are resurrected, or our bodies are glorified in the rapture – whatever comes first. There is no such thing as a perfect Christian. I do not believe in finding excuses for sinning (there is no excuse for intentional sin for a child of God).

We can repent and turn away from sin, but to justify it is wrong. To believe that all sin is forgiven when you are born again is also wrong. Yes, ALL sin is forgiven up to that point, but ‘future’ sin is not. It must be repented of (see dear king David as an example; then Saul).

David repented when he sinned – every time. That is one reason why he was the apple of God’s eye. He had a repentant heart; he owned his sin; he did not excuse it. Saul, on the other hand, justified his sin (made excuses). He did not have a repentant heart, and he only added sin unto sin – even to the point of visiting a witch (of Endor) to raise up the prophet Samuel from the dead, so Saul could hear from God.

So, anyone who teaches past, present and future sins are forgiven is operating in a spirit of error. We confess, the Lord is just and gracious to forgive, but we cannot expect future sins to be forgiven until the time comes when we acknowledge any new sin, confess and repent of it.

Singing Praises in the Battle`

I would like to end this with something that amazed me during my five-day hospital stay. I had fallen a couple of times when getting out of bed; once around midnight on August 4 (2023), and once the next day (Aug. 5) around 2:30 AM. The second time I hit my eye on the corner of a dresser.

I began seeing things on a tilt, and there were hallucinations (I had seen a lit candle move up the wall, over to the left, up the wall, over etc.). At times, the floor appeared to be breathing, and other times, my computer screen seemed tilted. My room seemed topsy-turvy on the Sunday morning upon awakening.

There had been some times during my writing that I would awaken at the computer as my face hit the hard desk. My son was concerned about a possible concussion or brain bleed, and wanted me to be seen at the hospital.

Also, my legs (again) were swollen, but in a few places at the knee and above it measured 66 cm and 72 cm (that is 25 and 28 inches). It is humbling even just writing it. Incredibly swollen, like an elephant… I could barely walk for the weight and size.

Heck, I recall the days when my waist was that size. I had been told at a walk-in clinic that doctors usually considered swelling above the knee to be heart-related. It had to be checked and ruled out. So, the swelling combined with the ongoing chronic pain of bone-on-bone osteoarthritis on the knees, now complicated by fainting spells had to be checked.

All of these things contributed to the decision to go to the hospital. A myriad of tests was done, ECG (heart – 2x/5 days); X-ray (lungs), 2 CTs (lungs and legs), echo test (echocardiogram – ultrasound of heart), blood tests.

Every test came back satisfactory, no concern. It was the day before I went to the hospital that the Lord had impressed upon my spirit not to ‘look or be moved by outward appearances’. That was hard to do as walking became exceedingly difficult, lifting my legs was not possible without assistance, the swelling continued.

Is it spiritual? Satan has access to the physical with God’s permission, but not every illness is a “Job trial”. We live in a fallen, corrupted world, where governments are taking away good food, soil nutrients are depleted, water is tainted, air is polluted. Toxins and pollutants, molds and viruses inundate the world and much of what we use. Truly, we are in times such as never before.

It takes the Lord to let us know what is going on, and we must be willing to accept what He says. When I first went into ER, it was a matter of hours upon hours of waiting. Things went very sour in ER with one paramedic. I will spare the details at this time, but I am convinced that he was sent in by the adversary (personality clash, as well as unnecessary drama due to exaggerated circumstances) – but the Lord allowed it.

Since it was long weekend and I got to the hospital about 10:30 AM Sunday, August 6, I ended up in room by myself, with very little care for 38 hours. No food or drink was given to me either. Yet, here is the interesting part.

Many negative thoughts were trying to rob me of any peace. Trying not to look at the circumstances (swelling, pain), hearing the words, “very possibly heart-related” echoing off the walls of my mind, was a challenge in itself.

Yet it was during this time that the Lord brought scripture to mind. It pertained to the time when king Jehoshaphat appointed singers to walk in front of the army, lifting up their voices in praise and adoration, and honour to the Lord of lords, as they were heading into battle. [see 2 Chron 20:21]

It is true that I was fighting fear (fear of the unknown, and concern about the legs and the heart), but I also trusted that God is in control. My logic wanted to kick in, trying to convince me how foolish it would be to go ahead of a spiritual army (myself?) and sing praises to God.

Hypocrite, and a few other choice words came to mind. It did seem foolish, but I was by myself. Who would hear but God – and the enemy. Right, the enemy. So, like an awkward foal, and fighting thoughts of how ‘crazy’ it all seemed, I made up a song, throwing in some scriptures, to praise the Lord who is the LORD of the battle, and the banner over Him is victory!

I only sang (quietly) about 10 minutes, read a bit of scripture, then, went to bed. The first three tests were carried out. The X-ray, cat scan and EKG all came back satisfactory. Blood thinners were given in the stomach, along with one shot of hydromorphone.

The day after that, I was told more tests would be carried out, all of which was mentioned. Again, the Holy Spirit placed the story of the praise worshippers upon my heart. Although somewhat reluctantly, I knew it was the right thing to do.

Desiring to be obedient, during the supper hour when the nurses keep at a distance, I made up a little song, and sang according to scripture. It defied logic, and caused me to fight feelings of hypocrisy (mostly because it is a foreign thing to me; something I had read but had not put into practice).

It felt so fine after worshipping the Lord that way, even explaining in the song. The other stack of tests came back the same way, satisfactory, no concerning factors. The glory belongs to God through Jesus Christ, His Word made flesh.

But our flesh, the fallen carnal nature, is not only at enmity against God, but against us also. Our daily picking up the cross is a life-long battle because our flesh wars against our spirit.

It is our flesh (along with the help of the adversary at times) that would call us a 'hypocrite' when putting God's Word into practice/action. Obedience is better than any sacrifice; it reveals our love for the Lord...our willingness to do His will.

Singing in the midst of grueling conditions brings great upset to Satan/Lucifer. To praise Jesus, the Lord of the battle, when it is Lucifer who wants to be praised, brings his wrath to the forefront.

Are you in the middle of a heated battle right now? Does the adversary seem stronger, or do you seem outnumbered? Perhaps take wise counsel, not from me, but from the Lord of the battles. Perhaps it was meant for you to try as well, or perhaps it is good testimony to validate the supernatural power of God to build upon your faith.

I am not saying all my troubles are over. There are still a few more things to be tried, such as testing for sleep apnea. Singing in the battle turned the tide at the hospital because Satan wanted me to sit in a hostile environment. But Jesus - our Advocate, the One who is an ever-present help in trouble made the week in the hospital pass without the stress brought upon me within hours of first entering.

There are many battles within a war. Step by step, as led by God (for He will instruct each of us as promised in the Bible), we overcome [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb [Jesus/Yeshua] and the word of our testimony - and love not our lives unto death.

The Lord is good and His mercy endures forever. He is exalted on high.

Either way, my prayer is that it will bless you as it did me, especially if you dare to follow in ancient footsteps for yourself, during your own battles. We serve a gracious, loving Creative God. He is a good Lord and Saviour. Let us keep lifting up brethren around the world in prayer also, or as led by the Spirit of the Most High God. Keep looking up – our redemption draws nigh.

And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Faithful is He that called you, who also will do it. Brethren, pray for us. [1Thess 5:23-25]