Too Close to Quit

 

Pressing Through Hard Times - the Temptation to Quit

Be strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work will be rewarded. [2Chron 15:7]

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season, we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. [Gal 6:8-9]

In January 2021, I had posted an article called: Rejoice Not, O My Enemy – I Will Rise Again. The first words in the title come from the mouth of the ancient prophet Micah [7:8]

Living in times where corruption and sin abound, the prophet saw that there were very few good people, even among those who claimed to be God’s people, but that was their reproach, according to Matthew Henry, a beloved nonconformist preacher and well-respected commentator of the scriptures.

In Psalm 69, King David also groaned deep within, depressed and discouraged, wrote: Reproach has broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none. [vs 20]

When the hindrances and interruptions, which I had mentioned in previously posted articles, continued nonstop, even up to yesterday, I became more and more discouraged. I began to question my purpose. With the plagiarists still dipping their hands into the archives, I had to wonder if the good Lord was indeed shutting the door on my writing.

Satan Desires Apostasy

If I do not step out of the boat once again, I never will. Great discouragement weighed me down, to the point where I was ready to quit writing publicly, after 22 years. But that is exactly what some would want me to do. Satan's agenda is to steal, to kill, and to destroy. His desire is to see all Christians fall into apostasy.

At the beginning of the year, but particularly around the end of February, early March, hindrances and interruptions were happening quickly. I began to fall behind more than I ever had before in all these years of writing, and believe me, I have fallen behind before, especially these last few years – just not this severely.

I am not a pastor, prophet, or any such thing; simply a blogger who loves Jesus and has a healthy fear of the Lord, endeavouring to be obedient in sharing the good news, and pointing the way to Jesus/Yeshua. Seems there are those who tear down the average Christian, but exalt the false teachers and false prophets, especially those who plagiarize, or at least, started with plagiarism and gained a following by hiding deception under an exterior covering of shimmering truth.

It began slowly back in October, when it was impressed upon me to remind brethren of increased witchcraft activity, which has been becoming more brazen in the public eye over the past few years. 

As the time fast approaches for the son of perdition, the lawless one, the Antichrist of all antichrists, to make his prideful revealing, witchcraft has been made more public and acceptable (such as the Super Bowl 2024, Grammy Awards 2023, Birmingham Commonwealth Games 2022, Gotthard Base Tunnel 2016, and much more).

The blatant compromise, the lies, the blasphemy and mockery, the deception (yes, IN the churches and EXECUTED by multitudes who call themselves followers of Jesus), false brethren, false teachers/preachers, false prophets, false doctrines, witchcraft in the church, the acceptance of sodomy, acceptance of transgender preachers, abortions 'after' natural childbirth – shall I continue?

It is heartbreaking –

Pressing In and Waiting on the Lord

Did I press in to ask the Lord about quitting writing? More than ever. A critical spirit is in the personality of many who call themselves by Christ’s name, but they would call it discernment, and hide their gossip under the guise of ‘concern’. 

How are we to respond? Pray good for them, that God would help them as surely as He helped me (and every other born-again, Holy Spirit-filled person who repented), and then leave it in God’s hands – for my wisdom is foolishness to Him.

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God [Rom 3:23]

The nonstop chronic pain has not helped. Combined with the hindrances, interruptions, the plagiarism, and other matters of concern, I just about quit writing. I am not complaining about the chronic pain, nor am I looking for sympathy. Perish the thought. Yes, there are times I want to ‘go home’, just to get relief because morphine is not really doing much, except to make pain bearable.

To be upfront, I was not so grateful for this pain at first. It was frustrating (still is because it limits my activity), and it angered me, but mostly, I just wanted relief, or to see an end to the pain somewhere up ahead.

But now I see changes in my heart – gratitude, clinging more to God, letting independence go, trust increasing, seeing God’s wisdom in using it to mold me step by step into Christ’s image, thanksgiving, opportunity to praise Jesus, realizing the privilege of being able to run to the Lord anytime, anywhere…and so much more. All to the glory to God; Yeshua is exalted on high.

God’s Order of Things

I believe the Word of God regarding God’s order of things [1Cor 14:40], and the roles of men and women (I appreciate the godly male pastors who take the lead), men who stand for Israel (God’s chosen nation/people), who honour all of God’s Word, standing against abortion, sodomy, and homosexuality.

They are not afraid to mention repentance, the cross (as well as the spiritual cross we are to carry daily, endeavouring to overcome and to nail sinful and fleshly appetites and desires), the precious blood that purchased us, paid for our sins that nailed Jesus to the cross.

What about holiness, forgiveness, God’s sovereignty, or the Godhead (Father, Son, Holy Spirit)? What about the armour of God [Ephesians 6], the adversary (Satan and his hierarchy), and spiritual warfare?

There are still preachers who do not compromise in order to gather a huge following, or to stroke their egos. They teach pure and true doctrine, have a healthy fear of the Lord, but walk humbly as Christ did. I wonder if rebellion is part of the fallen nature we inherited from Adam because many still rebel against God’s Word.

Although I have given a prophetic message in times past, I do not claim to be a prophet. I believe in prophesying, for it is written:

Despise not prophesying. Prove [test] all things; hold fast that which is good. [1Thess 5:20-21]

The false prophets today are more like fortune tellers, or gossips, “revealing” the sins of people in the public eye, or constantly have some new revelation, or predict what will be in the news. Would we want the Lord to broadcast our sins, especially if any that might be done in secret, or would we want Him to give us a chance to repent first? 

But with some of today’s ‘prophets’, the Lord spills the beans on multitudes. Would we want our past sins brought up if we repented privately in brokenness and with godly sorrow? 

I have seen so-called apostles, self-proclaimed prophets and those who claim to be preachers do such, and so have multitudes of others seen it. How could people trust the Lord if that is how He operated (which it is not His way at all)?

The God of the Bible does not trash anyone, or make a public show of them.

Yet it would seem that the false have thousands of loyal followers, people who defend them because they look at the outward appearance, their ‘charismatic’ personality and charm. It could also be that:

[1] their followers are deceived

[2] deception has blinded them

[3] some are not saved, and some need deliverance from python [spirit of divination]

[4] the person almost has two personalities (the dark side of their sin is so well hidden that only their victims and God Himself know about it: friends and family are fooled by their ‘good works’) – for now. But their judgment day is coming!

For over a decade the Lord has been urging people to stay in His Word and to stand on it, to come closer to Him, and wait in His presence – not rushing off. He is consistent, steadfast, repeating the message so that we would keep a repentant heart, forgive those who come against us and pray for them (never easy at first, but gets easier as one steps out in faith). Obedience comes naturally from love.

This will be a short entry.  

It is Not Complicated

I am now glad that the hindrances and interruptions kept me from posting about the eclipse because it seems everyone and their uncle posted about it. Jesus said that no sign would be given but the sign of Jonah. He did not wrap the answer up in deep revelations or mysteries to guess and solve.

The message is simple, so simple a youth would get it. I mentioned it in the last article, posted April 7, 2024, the day before the eclipse. I ended the article saying it was a “call to repentance”, and that all nations needed to repent, and that we were to “repent, be holy, a warning”. 

The asterisks are book-ending the titles of two of the three messages I posted online in 2005/2006. The third one was: “The Watchman Repented”. That is how the Lord started me in my writing: repentance, trust, forgiveness. He built from there

As Unto the Lord

Almost giving up on writing (NOT to be confused with giving up on the Lord or my faith), shutting down the blog, I did press into the Lord – for weeks now. The plagiarists got to me, but one ‘prophesied’ that many would have their platforms shut down.

But God is Sovereign.

A few days back, I was repenting about unbelief and fear (these were attempting to enslave me again). The Lord reminded me of His love, and how perfect love casts out fear because fear has torment, and if we have unhealthy fear, it is because we are not perfect in love. [1Jn 4:18]

Then, when I opened the Bible, it opened to Jesus leaving the 99 righteous, to go after the one who had gone astray. I silently wept and broke, repenting for fear and unbelief, for wandering astray from the Word – how subtle the enemy is indeed. He strikes when we are weak.

Then, when I asked again about writing, or was it time to quit – after weeks of waiting and wondering, I came across the answer that jumped off the page.

Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as men pleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: And whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

Knowing that of the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for you serve the Lord Christ. But he that does wrong shall receive for the wrong which he has done: and there is no respect of persons. [Col 3:22-25]

I understood that I was to please God, not man, to have a sole devotion to write for the Lord, and to fear God. I am to write wholeheartedly as unto the Lord – to keep trust that He will take care of plagiarists, or all of us, if we do wrong.

So, step by step, I will continue, to the glory of Messiah Jesus.

In the presence of His glory

Bonita                         dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com