Given my background and things I have encountered in life, my heart is to serve God as He sees fit, using those past things. Romans 8:28 says that to those who love God and are called according to HIS purpose, He will work all things together for good (not that they ARE good, but that He will WORK it TOGETHER for good.
It is how I have been led. We each have our individual duties the Lord organizes, given our background, experience, and exposure to certain things in life. This time the fasting was not as intense as in times past (younger,
healthier days), meaning that I only fasted through the night and until
3:00 PM in the afternoon. I did that for five days, until I was obstructed again –
this time with health.
I have watched negative activity from the dark side
increase just as obviously as all of us globally have seen the wickedness in
the world increase. We counter it with faith and prayers, keeping on our
armour, armed with shield (faith) and sword (word).
But we can sometimes weary.
If we are already weakened physically, for whatever reason (work, family, health, schedules, etc.),
guaranteed we will cry out to God for strength and help. He is faithful.
Anyone who has followed this blog for any amount of
time knows that the purpose of this site is Christ Jesus/Yeshua, and pointing people to Him and the Word. I have always tried to encourage people not to give up, to always pray, to repent, and keep a
repentant heart.
There are plenty of titles in the archives that even have some
of those key words. This desire was birthed from listening to people who have faced discouragement, who are weary, who are fed up. Not everyone is angry, bitter or unforgiving. Some have suffered much loss of family, friends, or other great hardships.
And it is most certainly not that I have arrived and am some great pillar of strength. Like others, my strength most often comes from Jesus Himself, through the Holy Spirit. Ministering to others minsters to me as well. I learn as well, when I try and help others with something.
Even the desires in my heart were likely placed there by Him. It is a beautiful thing Jesus did for us - so deep, so multifaceted, so perfect in every way! Glory - He is exalted.
Transparency has often quenched pride, that is if testimony will be a helping hand to another downtrodden, weary soldier. Every
soldier tires out, even the young men faint and grow weary; some stumble and
fall, but we hope in the Lord.
It is those times, those times when we are weak (and
I am weak), that we are instructed to wait…wait upon the Lord. HE WILL
renew our strength, and we will RISE (mount up) AGAIN! [Is
40:29-31] Thus it is written, so it is true.
We counter Satan with the Word of God (our
double-edged sword). Yet, there are certain times that we must resort to
prayer and fasting.
Go back in the archives, go back to 2013 (oh how I
wish from 2008-2012 were not missing). Notwithstanding, go back and you
will see consistency. You will see a pattern. You will witness the faithfulness of the living God; You will hear the love of Jesus; You will see that God is Sovereign, doing all consistently and in order.
The testimony of Jesus Christ (Yeshua haMashiach)
is the spirit of prophecy. [Rev 19:10] Prophecy is to point people to look to Jesus,
to focus on Him. It is to exhort, to edify, to rebuke, to correct, and if so
led, to foretell.
I have shared my failures, and my triumphs, for I am a
woman who has made many mistakes in this life, and my heart has been to help
others by taking their hand (spiritually), and say, “Don’t make the
same mistake I did. The key is Jesus.”
But if I can spare just a few souls from making wrong
choices as I did, and convince them that Jesus will never leave them or forsake
them (that is something else I have always threaded throughout the years –
the fabric of truth, God’s promises to us through Jesus).
Consistently I have reminded others (and I myself
needed the reminding) that Jesus promised to never leave nor forsake us. From
the beginning, Deuteronomy 31:8 until the day God manifested Himself in the
flesh. His WORD became flesh, and His only begotten Son was born of a
virgin.
Repeatedly, God reminds us (yes, we need constant
reminders, especially in these busy, hectic times), He tells us “I will
never fail you, never leave you or forsake you.” [Josh 1:5], and right on
up into the New Testament, Hebrews 13:5, and Matthew 28:20. How comforting are Jesus’
words (He IS the Word).
Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have
commanded you: and lo, I AM with you always, even unto the end of the world.
[Mat28:20] [words of Jesus]
We must travail in our own Garden of Gethsemane,
knowing that we have our own cross to pick up and nail our fleshly desires and
appetites to (our ‘self’, our ‘flesh’, which means our 'carnal nature') to that cross; not literally 'ourselves' or 'flesh', but
spiritually speaking.
It means nailing our sins to the cross, denying ‘self’,
humbly broken and contrite, asking forgiveness as we confess our sins and
unforgiveness toward others. We have to face our cross, and determine the cost.
Are we willing to drink from the same cup of suffering?
Oh, I thought hard about it in 2005, just prior to full commitment to Christ,
but I was so sure. ‘I’m a warrior’, I proudly thought, and ‘I can do
all things through Christ Jesus. [Phil 4:13]
I had to pick up my cross. “I can do this”, I
said, so determined, so sure that it could not be that bad, that hard. After
all, it is not like it was a physical cross to bear. How little I knew…
More than once, too many times to count, I have fallen
under the weight of it, unsure if I would ever rise again. But as surely as
Simon of Cyrene was there to take the cross for Jesus (as ordered by a Roman
soldier), I look to see the nail-pierced hand of Messiah Jesus, reaching
out to hold me up, and even carry both the cross and me, if necessary, until
strength returns. Then, He becomes my strength -- the JOY of the Lord is my strength.
Guaranteed, our flesh will fight us. It is the
survival instinct; flesh does not want to die. The devil will mock. "Who do
you think you are, grasshopper?" And the world will do all it can to entice you, distract you, tempt you, seduce you. It works
hand in hand with the devil and our fleshly desires and appetites. But God! But Jesus! Glory to the Lamb of God who is the LION of the tribe of Judah!
Witchcraft and the Devil’s Work
Discussing realities is not glorifying something. It
is simply discussing realities. From the 13th of October to the 5th
of November, the spiritual realm is like the mazes of four to six-lane
highways, filled with curses, incantations, chanting, hexes, vexes, rituals, sacrifices (at times, blood sacrifices), unholy 'prayers', all seeking to open portals to gain the power and aid of
supernatural beings (demons).
A hex means to cast spells, to bewitch or curse
someone. The purpose of a vex is to cause mental suffering, distress, great
angst – how many felt those things coming against them during this season?
How many suffered interference as a result of the any of the above being carried out through the hands of someone
close to them, even loved ones, in the past month, even up to a couple of days
ago? I am not saying they are witches, or even tampering with the occult.
I am asking if you suffered mentally or were
distressed, or suffered deep anxiety, a foreboding dread at something a loved
one, whether friend or relative, said to you? Remember when Satan spoke
through Peter, and Jesus had to rebuke Satan as He looked at Peter?
Do those same loved ones celebrate Halloween ‘innocently’,
dressing up in ghoulish costumes, glorifying death (skeletons, ghosts,
tombstones, police tape, witches)? Spider webs and bats, vampires,
monsters -- it is endless and up to individual imaginations.
Whether you know it or not, just as the blood of a
lamb was a sign to the death angel to pass over a house if he saw the blood, so
the ‘decorations’ are a sign to the dark forces/demons to target a house if
they see they celebrate the occult holiday. Satan is a counterfeiter…copies
what he sees God do, and perverts it.
I do not celebrate Halloween, and I have not for over 20
years, perhaps just three years prior to committing to Christ. However, I live
with my 31-year-old son who has a five-year-old son.
My explanation for having no part of Halloween whatsoever
was factual, but non-condemning. I was confident my stand for the Lord versus
the dark side was not only understood, but respected.
I was wrong. I had seen a couple of pumpkins go out
with smiles, but that was all I had seen. I struggled even with that because it acts as a sign of approval for the 'celebration' (personal opinion).
But when I went to the store one day, there were about
10 ‘ghosts’ hanging in the bushes, yellow ‘police tape’ around the hand
railings on the landing of the front steps of the house; tombstones, graves,
spiders and webs. I was devastated.
We became a target, or rather, I did. Demons can see when a person is saved, and the Holy Spirit dwells within, especially as one abiding in Christ. “Look! We are celebrating!” (No, 'we' are not!) The decorations send a silent message out that
speaks loud and clear, and the house can become a target, a place of
interest.
It is going to be difficult for me to reach the places
my son placed them (I long to take them down, even before now), but my son is an adult. This is his home too and I am not the head of the house - we share the home.
I asked the Lord’s forgiveness. I did not
have my children full-time for seven years of their young lives [another story, another time], but even if I did have them, back then, I would have 'celebrated' Halloween too.
However, one thing I did insist on is taht they could not dress up as anything 'evil'. In other words, no devils, no witches or ghosts, no vampires, or monsters. They did not mind being princesses, cowboys, robots, etc.
We are told that it is in those early years, children must learn the difference between good from evil... as any good parent would do in order to train up a child in the way they
should go. [Prov 22:6]
Our family bloodline is riddled with sins and evil behaviour, some of which I care not to name. Suffice it to say, alcohol has been a problem in generations on both sides of the family. Yet, I do not know of any that were Christian because I cannot go back further on my mother's side than her (she did not know who her parents were), and only back as far as my grandparents on my father's side.
They immigrated to Canada from Bulgaria in the early 1900s, so I am second-generation Canadian on one side, and unknown on the other. My mother was left on a doorstep in a basket. She knew who her mother was (a woman of Irish descent), but the father was unknown, with a blank spot left on the birth certificate.
I do know alcohol was a problem on both sides of the family. My mother died fairly young from cirrhosis of the liver, from years of drinking beer, and later, hard liquor (quality Scotch).
As for faith, it is possible the Bulgarians were Catholic or had similar beliefs. No Bible was ever seen in the house (once I came out of the orphanage). However, my mother cringed hearing preachers. Jesus was only used as a cuss word.
Yet oddly, she did confess that one time, when she was pregnant with me, she 'prayed to God' for a girl because she already had two boys. I only wish she remembered that I was an 'answer to prayer' the day that she legally disowned me in court.
My mother and her husband (my step-father) were afraid I would fight their will for monetary gain because they were well-off. Everything they owned, including money, was bequeathed to their two daughters by him.
Ironically, they could have saved themselves the stress, time, and headache because th sad truth is that I was never interested in their money or what they owned. I only longed to be accepted/loved by them. It never happened.
Sadly, they died 28 hours apart - mother of cirrhosis of the liver, step-father from lung cancer over 35 years ago. My sincerest desire is that both repented as they lay there in their individual hospital beds.
I did ask the Lord not to hold any sin or offense that was done against me against them. I do not know if such a request can be granted but I did ask for the sins to be removed from the book of records in heaven.
Jesus cried out to God upon the very cross that He was being crucified upon, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." [Lk 23:34] Stephen shared the attitude of the Messiah, as he was being stoned to death: "Lord, lay not this sin to their charge." [Acts 7:60]
I do not know if what I asked is akin to that, but in truth, Yeshua (my Jesus) was the example that inspired such a request. It was after I was saved, and the Holy Spirit was leading me through scenes in my life so that I could make sure that no unforgiveness lay hidden in me. Some things took work, but God is faithful. He does not tire or give up. He follows things through to completion - always.
For those alive, I actually did my best to contact them and make amends. If they could not be found, I prayed about it and left in the competent hands of Jesus. For those dead, I made the request about the book of records, which even included the gang involved in my kidnapping over 50 years ago.
Some had already passed, whether from an accident, or from drugs, or some disease. Some were killed in a gang war, or drive-by shootings, reported in newspapers. But are we not told that God's will is that ALL should not perish, but come to repentance? [2Pet 3:9] He does not delight in the death of the wicked.[Ezek 33:11]
Back on track; given the family bloodlines that I know of (which is very limited), I do pray continually for the Lord to be sure all family is saved,
but it is understood that it is always God’s way and in His timing …something else I have said for years. I war spiritually for loved ones, and results are seen [the glory to God], but some door remains open, or gets reopened after it is
slammed shut – a vicious repetitive battle, but it is worth it - keeping in mind who the Lord of the battle is.
There are those who would like to see me quit, and
then say God removed me. I am grateful that the Lord has turned a deaf ear even
to my own requests to take me home that were hastily spoken out of exhaustion and pain.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the
devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom RESIST
steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in
your brethren that are in the world. [1Pet 5:8, 9]
The Chemtrail Crime
Since 1997, I first began observing chemtrails. Yes,
I know, people insist they are ‘contrails’ but there is a difference, and now
even certain government officials, military folks, meteorologists, and scientists
have exposed it, but of course, their character is slandered or they are the ‘fringe’
(new popular word – since the Freedom Convoy 2022).
The proper name is called geoengineering.
geoengineering: a set of emerging technologies that could manipulate the environment and partially offset some of the impacts of climate change
SOURCE: Harvard’s
Solar Geoengineering Research Program
 |
did not have camera that day about Oct 27.2022
this is close as I could find to pattern
random pic off net NOT actual one |
Last week there were some strange chemtrails in the sky.
I said to my son that I had not seen that pattern for awhile, but that pattern
usually proved to contain contaminants that affected the immune system.
I am not a meteorologist, but over the course of 25
years of observation and studying, I have come to connect certain patterns,
along with chemical combinations, that are intended to affect certain areas of the body, or are intended to manipulate weather.
[1 weather manipulation
[2 health issues (affecting the immune system)
[3 soil and water (mineral and nutrient depletion [macronutrients/micronutrients]),
pH balance
I remember one time in Georgia after I had seen strange
chemtrails, I noticed black dots all over the sidewalk, on electric utility
boxes, on bushes, flowers, cars, mailboxes, everywhere – very odd. I had taken a walk downtown (about a 35-40 minute walk) and witnessed such. Other people had noticed, but no one knew the cause. Everyone was baffled at the strange black substance that 'seemed' to 'drop' from the sky. I had no cellphone back then.
No pictures were taken that day last week (little
longer now) with my son because I forgot my cell at home, but I found a
pattern that was similar. My grandson (five years old) got sick that
week. Other children were reported sick to the degree that walk-in clinics and hospitals in Ontario were "overwhelmed".
Source: Toronto
City News
A few days later, I saw more of a pattern typically
connected to immune breakdown, but this time, I managed to take some pictures.
 |
this group are actual pics I took
about Nov 4.2022 - i went to
a couple of malls and took shots but
within an hour we went from bright to overcast
and a sea of sick people hit the walk-in clinics |
My grandson was up crying for three nights in a row,
sore throat, headache and tummy ache. Then I got sick. Four days ago, on my fourth
day of being sick, I went to a walk-in clinic.
A Nasty Virus
The clinic was jam-packed. I had a constant sore throat,
despite gargling with pink Himalayan salt and water. Drinking one-third teaspoon of baking soda in
pineapple juice (a concoction that a dear and close friend in Finland mentioned
to me; he’s 84) actually helped to relieve the pain a little bit.The headache has been constant for four days, and
the phlegm was brown, green, yellow – not good – pretty sure that I had
pneumonia. I did. Fauci himself said that a worse pandemic was expected in the
fall (November). Gates mentioned another.
The doctor told me he was overwhelmed with the
number of sick people, beginning with children. All presented with similar symptoms: feverish, constant headache; sore throat; heavy bronchial phlegm (colours varied from yellow to grayish-greenish-brown); cough; congested nose; sinus problems. Some also had earaches, others bellyaches.
A course of antibiotics and prednisone for me, and a
puffer. I was so blessed for three months with no breathing problems because I
no longer lived in places with black mold problems.
And now, it is back, and panic has to be fought…again.
It is a frightening thing when we cannot breathe. We have to tell ourselves not
to panic. This is now the eighth day (fourth on
medication) and I am still unwell.
This is where the LORD comes in. I cannot express strongly enough or often enough how faithful He is to give strength, no - to BE our strength when we are weak. There is the JOY - and HE is our joy. It is a win-win situation. He is our strength, and the joy of Him (abiding in us) just being GOD -- is our strength.
I have heard people say that our suffering does not save anyone. Of course not, what a thing to say. Splicing hairs sometimes over things not understood, instead of inquiring, just make snap judgments?
Should transparency only be the good things, never the suffering? What of the prophets? These were ordinary men who would speak by the power of the Holy Spirit. Are we believers not ordinary people who are born-again and Holy Spirit-filled because of Jesus/Yeshua?
What would be said of Jeremiah, not only known as the 'weeping' prophet, but the 'suffering' prophet? He was beaten and thrown in a muddy cistern by Pashur the priest because of a word from God that he prophesied.
He was shackled, called a liar, and ignored by people (God had forewarned Jeremiah that no one would listen to him). The lives of our forerunners was made transparent in the Word of God. We are enriched by it all, helped in various ways.
God still speaks through people and their lives today. The story of the old man, the young boy and the donkey are applicable here. No matter what town they travelled through, and there were many, there were critics who would try to shame them for how they made use of their donkey, when they were not doing anything wrong.
The old man and the young boy tried to appease the people each time, in each town. In the end they realized that no matter what they would have done, somebody somewhere would not like it, and find something to complain about. I think we all can be exposed to that in this life.
Caution: Blog at own risk - sharp-eyed judges are known to pass through. Be sure to hold pen at right angle, or at least, sit up straight when typing lol
Jesting aside (how dare I interrupt a serious topic with a humour break - tsk)
After talking about geoengineering (chemtrails) to my son, and sickness hit the city, it was my turn. I saw the doctor at a walk-in clinic for a second time on November 4th (2022), last week. This time he was wearing a mask. He was exhausted and it was only 11:00
am. He said there are so many sick people with a cold or flu, mostly the same symptoms.
Symptoms were previously shared, but the doctor said many patients reported feeling like they were on ‘death’s doorstep’. This young doctor (early 30s) was completely
overwhelmed by the suddenness – just within the past “week” he said, suddenly
and unexpectedly.
Some would call it coincidence, but I say, after 25 years of
study, that it was something in the chemtrails, something that produced a virus - and it is 'guessed' by the pattern. It is a very in-depth topic, with those who still call it 'conspiracy' shouting loudly in the MSM, particularly governmental officials, [paid] news outlets, etc.
If you would like to know more of geoengineering, which many tend to call 'chemtrails', you can visit the website of Dana Wiginton is someone who has been fighting to stop geoengineering for decades.
He has a background in solar energy, and the knowledge gained helped him when he began losing a significant amount of solar power, noticed in the uptake that coincided with the spraying of aircraft; which, up to that point, been considered contrails (from condensation).
The testing of water and soils, the decline in the health of the land, and other obvious issues led Dane to research deeper. His investigations led him into the areas of geoengineering, researching global ionosphere heaters (HAARP), and solar radiation management.
To learn more: Geoengineering
Watch – site of Dane Wiginton
As one last item in the defense against chemtrails or geoengineering being a conspiracy theory, I present a document by a well-established institute (over 100 years old) called Brookings, for your discernment:
Brookings, which is Brookings Institute is an influential
body of experts (think tank) in a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization
based in Washington, D.C. that supervises and carries out non-partisan and
independent research, analysis, education, and publication in the social sciences
– in-depth. It is focused mainly on economics, government, and foreign policy.
A document on the United States and preparation for security
and governance of geoengineering is available online. The panel of experts do
not deny geoengineering, and in fact, cover many topics on the subject, such as
stressing the use of satellites for tracking geoengineering practices.
Although the term ‘weather wars’, or any other kind of solar
geoengineering carried out for the purpose of intentional damage done by a
foreign country, is not mentioned, the writers do consider it critical enough to
address in their carefully worded document.
Example:
“However, it is possible that the anticipated effect of
foreign geoengineering activity might require immediate intervention than
counting on sanctions to eventually force the offending party to change its
behavior.”
OR
“Certainly the U.S. should be prepared to monitor and
respond to potentially harmful geoengineering activity.” [end of excerpts]
Understanding the importance of context, and to avoid the
possibility of misinformation being invented, the link to the above-mentioned
document is provided so that it can be read in its entirety: Brookings
Institution
Get Your OWN Words – Stop Stealing
 |
| I'm stealing words shh-hh lol |
And prosperity prophets say: "just have faith, speak
life" Yes, there is truth in those words. It is written that without faith it is impossible to please God. [Heb11:6] It is also written that: "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." [Prov 18:21]
Truth is twisted out of context, changing the original meaning, seducing the masses to introduce false doctrine that was cleverly tucked away to such a degree that it is almost obscured or concealed by the truth. It does anger me.
I was tricked by the false doctrine at a young age [26], but praise God. One failed experience taught me for life, and I have Jesus to thank, even though I was not yet saved. After that church, I never darkened a doorstep again with so much as my shadow for 13 years. Thirteen (13) the biblical number linked to rebellion.
False doctrines are teachings laced with poison.
Poison: 98% good food - 2% poison and it is the 2% (that tiny portion) that kills.
Smiling faces, charismatic or likable personalities, saying all the right sayings: I like to think that I understand about speaking life; and have mentioned it several times over the course of 17 years. For one, we do not order God, nor can we manipulate Him into backing up what we say just because we use scripture, especially scripture that is used out of context, and to support a false teaching.
We speak life when we encourage others, not with flatteries, but with facts. We speak life when we audibly bless people. We speak life in prayers humbly for others, esteeming them better than ourselves.
We speak life in asking the Lord to show them favour, grace, good things, protection, wisdom, whatever is according to His will. When we repeat scripture [God's Word] audibly, we speak life - these kind of things speak life.
Death is spoken when we curse people ["I hope you [...] (fill in the blank with harmful, negative words), or cuss at them and name-calling. Death is spoken through gossip, slander, flatteries with hidden motives and/or agendas, lies, or fabrications. These kind of things speak death. Refer again to: [Prov 18:21]
Whether a follower/disciple of Jesus or
not, we cannot overrule the will of God. Our will must align with His,
not the other way around. We must be so careful.
If there are lessons He is teaching me, I want to
learn them. If this is part of what it means to learn endurance, then I want to
learn endurance.
We do not have to like the lessons because some are difficult and uncomfortable, yet to endure
them is to learn them. If this is what teaches me to be thankful, and not to fall
into murmuring (whining) and complaining. What parent delights in a
spoiled, ungrateful child? Being corrected by God proves we are His children and not bastards. And just so I do not get in trouble here, I provide scripture.
But if you are without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are you bastards, and not son. [Heb 12:8]
That is the King James version, but in all fairness, the updated versions have taken that word out and replaced it with "illegitimate" or similar meaning. I slip sometimes, but in Christ, by taking His hand,
I always rise back up… yet I bow my heart toward my King, confess my faults,
and ask for help to turn away from anything not of Him.
This is what we do. I hear my brothers and sisters;
they encourage me. We build each other up. We have need of each other, with Jesus
Christ as our Head. Without Him, none of what we do is of any real or lasting value. Christ/Messiah Jesus is the key to everything!
He is the Vine that supports and feeds us. Our very
life is in Him, and Him alone. Hallelujah! He IS our hope; our refuge; our strong tower. He IS our joy.
These words consistently have flowed from my lips
over the years. It is all Jesus’ fault … He did it; He created me; I believe we give credit where credit is do, and no one touches the glory of God - much to thank Him for...
How many times have I written that God’s timing is
not our timing. Why? Because the Lord taught me that. He teaches us, all of us,
if we let Him. We can hurry the process. We can go steal someone
else’s words and make ourselves look like we learned the hard way.
We can feign humility, but neglect to reveal that it is all God's wisdom that teaches us through the Holy Spirit. We are like vessels to be purified to be forged and purged in the intense fires, if He sees fit to place us in a furnace of affliction, of suffering, then further purify us in the water of separation. [Num 31:23]
This happens over the course of time, experience, battles,
trials, hard lessons, making wrong choices and facing
consequences. We can fool others, but God knows. He cannot be deceived.
Yes, I have a reason I keep mentioning theft of
words. It began with precious sister in Christ who wanted to encourage me with a confirmation to something I wrote about, and a link was provided.
Then, there was a lead, out of a certain person’s own mouth, followed by a
hunch (likely a nudge from the Holy Spirit). At first, I was angry, admittedly. Then, I analyzed my anger (or tried to), and wondered if it was pride.
Possibly, but if so, it is because of all the hard work. To me, it is my ‘little drummer boy’ gift to the Lord. He gifted me the drum, and I desire to honour Him with thanksgiving by using the gift to point others to Him.
I also hope it ministers to people, to the brethren, to the lost, the hopeless, the forlorn, the discouraged – we all do our part within the Body of Christ.
The heart of all of us who are saved is to point others to Christ, is it not? - to offer hope and encouragement? How many times have I
written to rise up? See the archives with the words in the very titles. These
are common threads in the fabric of my work. Earnest prayers, hard research, much bible study, frustrations as I learn about keeping flesh out of things, and the Spirit of God in. But alas! I am far from being as spiritual as I would like to be -- but I will press on, along with all the other brethren who are running the race, and fighting the good fight.
I just recently found out about plagiarism, and whew! it goes right through the archives. It seems I am venting, forgive me. I have to let it go; to work it out with the Lord. I need to let the person be God’s
project. I am not a vengeful person, but I cannot stand deception...or pretense. This person is majorly popular.
Life is too short, and mine is getting shorter by the day, by the
moment. I have much to be grateful for. I have done my own share of wrongs, of sins...I am not "all that", but still grrr
Sigh, but my sins are not her sins, and hers are not mine. I have been a hard work for the
Lord, a late bloomer, a tough case (not intentionally), but He never gave up on me.
Maybe I was testing Him, to see if He would give up on me as my own mother had. It seems most people did, but not our
Creator. In fairness to others, I moved around constantly my entire life, not giving many a chance to know me well.
My emotions have been heavy lately, yet do not doubt
that I cannot find ‘ample’ reason to offer up thanksgiving, and to give praise
to a good and very patient, understanding Abba. All because Jesus –
sweet Yeshua… ALL because of You. That is where I must put my focus - not on 'poor me'.
Do I allow bitterness to take root, or do should I silently pray for any soul who cheats me, or others, or even themselves, but mostly God. Time, prayer, and quality time alone with Jesus...that is what I must do. The Holy Spirit will help me to work through this.
But suffice it to
say, between witchcraft, and chemtrails, and being very unwell, I am not myself. Kind of cranky (okay, miserable), in need of rest and big old hug!
I do believe the Lord allowed all this - the innocent link to a video given by a close and precious friend, as sister in Christ, whose heart was to uplift me with confirmation as having heard from the Lord.
And I believe He led to the articles in the archives that were plagiarized because there are just far too many to remember what is written in which article. Is this a trying of the heart? If so, does my anger mean failure, or is that a natural reaction, given the amount that has been plagiarized?
I do not dare make excuses for myself, or throw myself a 'pity party' (those kind of parties where no guests show up, and if they do, they 'suddenly' have something to attend to lol)
Yes, it
has been a time of weeping, purging, soul-searching – it would be so easy to
anchor a bitter root. The cries for relief are sincere, yet I backpaddle at
times, asking the Lord to give me more strength, and forgive my weakness. How I
need Him. Sometimes maybe the attempt to please the Father; to make Jesus smile, perhaps at times I go overboard, but the Holy Spirit brings me back to balance.
God help me NOT to satisfy the flesh, the world, but
especially – the adversary.
Prosperity Preaching is a False Doctrine
Is not My Word like as a fire? Says the Lord; and
like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces? Therefore, behold, I AM against the prophets,
says the Lord, that steal My words every one from his neighbour. Behold, I AM
against the prophets, says the Lord that use their tongues and say, He saith.
[Jer 23:29-31]
And shall you say to the prophet, What has the Lord
answered you? and, What has the Lord spoken? [vs 37]
Dear saints, can you not see that the Lord wants you
to enquire of Him, seek FIRST the kingdom of God and all these things shall be
added unto you? It is not as in the days of old when the prophets were the link
to God.
We have access to God through Jesus, and through the
Holy Spirit, and through His written Word. We do not despise prophesying, not at all, but the Lord says His sheep know
HIS voice.
The Good Shepherd speaks to His sheep. God wants us to come to Him first, come to Him for wisdom, and not run to man to find out what God is saying. He speaks to His people. Jesus accomplished so much with His death, burial and resurrection. Why else upon the cross did He muster the strength to say, "It is finished!" [Jn 19:30]
Brethren,
have you left your first love? I have heard those who ‘preach’ to seek Jesus,
but then five minutes later say, the Lord wants you to start your day off with
me (meaning themselves). Confusion is not of God.
If only I could remember where I heard the
following story. It was a very long time ago, but it struck such a cord in my
heart. I hope I get the details right. I may not get the story 100%, but it will be very close; it always gets
to me.
Walk By Faith, Not by Sight (Please Keep Things in Context, Saints – Please!)
A family had celebrated a wonderful dinner together
and a time of reminiscing. They piled into their vehicles after warm embraces,
laughter, and happiness. As they were driving home, they got caught in a
white-out, a blizzard had hit suddenly, unexpectedly, and it was extremely difficult to see ahead.
Traffic was crawling, almost at a standstill. A
young woman came upon an accident, and being a nurse she immediately kicked into duty-mode. Police and ambulance were alerted by several people.
She was unable to see much of the disabled vehicle due to the blinding snow. the car was severely damaged, but it was not until she arrived to the side of it that she realized it was her
family’s vehicle. She managed to open the door; her heart racing as she quickly assessed the situation.
She was calculating who needed the
most immediate care, and planned to remove each according to their need. Her
father (driver) was dead. Her little brother was slumped over the seat. He was alive, but as she struggled to get his pulse,
he gasped his last breath.
Devastated and in shock, she saw the family dog
hanging half off the seat, with a piece of metal sticking out its side. She pulled the dog out of the vehicle, but it too
passed away as the cold, blizzardy weather hit her. Her mother was alive but incoherent, and could not be easily understood.
Her sister was alive, but unconscious and seriously
bleeding. She pulled her out of the vehicle, applying pressure to
stop the bleeding. She looked around for something to keep pressure on the bleeding, so she could get her mother, but she could find nothing.
She then realized her sister was dying as she held her,
gently rocking her. She delicately combed her hair back with her fingers,
soothing her with words of love. The blizzard continued as she sat there. Finally, with tears rolling down her cheeks,
she closed her sister’s eyes, as she too passed away in her arms.
The young woman did not know where her strength was coming from. As difficult as it was to let her beloved sister go,
she had to in order to help her mother. Laying her sister's lifeless body gently upon the cold, hard
ground, she rushed back to the car. Just like a dramatic movie, flames were licking up the sides...only this was not a movie, and no one was acting.
She finally managed to get her mother out. A man appeared out of the snow and ran to assist her as she was struggling with dragging her mother along the ground. Other people were attending to victims in a couple of other
vehicles.
The man and the nurse got far enough away with her
mother for safety before the car dramatically exploded into flames, with her
brother and father still in the vehicle.
The young woman looked back in horror, knowing two family
members were now burning inside the car. Police, firetruck, paramedics, and
ambulances arrived. I cannot recall the details of the story about who else
survived or died at that accident.
Many condolences were received, as a
meal was shared after the funeral. But the one thing that angered the person the most as he told the story was when he overheard one of the Christian
friends comfort the young woman, as she sat alongside her mother, who happened to have advanced Alzheimer’s and did not even
know that she had lost her husband, son and one daughter.
She did not even realize
that she had been to their funeral, and that the meal they were eating was in
honour of them. The Christian friend stated how she understood how
very difficult it must have been to have attended the scene of the accident.
She sincerely felt empathy for the young nurse.
She reassured the girl that she was sure she had done her
very best for all of them. But then something the 'comforter' had been taught from a false doctrine spewed forth (unintentionally) like the poison it is.
She advised the young woman not to be too hard on herself, understanding how difficult it is to have enough faith when tragic things happen to a person's loved ones. The woman honestly believed that the three family
members perished because the remaining sister lacked the faith to ‘lay hands on the sick and they would recover’, or to 'raise the dead' due to unbelief. [Mat 10:8]
The very idea shocked the sister so much that she
could not even respond. The pastor counseled the woman for several months after
that accident, explaining some of the false doctrines that people are taught. And that beautiful child of God actually found the strength and
the compassion within her grieving heart to truly and fully forgive the woman.
She knew full well the errors found in the prosperity
doctrine. There seem to be varying degrees or levels in the teaching, but basically, prosperity preachers believe that 'wealth' and 'health' belong to the children of God, if we will have enough faith to 'decree' it. Then, they will use scripture that speaks of health, and mentions prosperity.
Prosperity is not a bad word, nor is it a sin to be wealthy. It is the 'love' of money that is condemned. Also, God provides our needs. He can do it day by day, or He could lead us to prosper financially, but when God speaks of prospering us, it can be to help us succeed in the things we lay our hands to that honour Him, such as a successful ministry, or radio program, or magazine, or charity.
Our walk is all about Jesus and the kingdom of God. Our inheritance is in Christ; that is the 'plan' (plan of salvation) that God has for every lost person, which was all of us at one time, due to the fallen, carnal nature we are born with. The plan was mentioned in the Garden of Eden, to Adam and Eve after they sinned, and to the serpent who deceived and tempted them. [Genesis 3]
That story struck hard with me. The closest I came
to knowing it was in 2021, when the RV I was renting was so full of mold that I
could barely breathe and the pain in my legs made going up the steps very
laborious.
A woman in the group I attended on most Friday nights, obviously believed the prosperity gospel, or some new age teaching. She said to me to “just pray and
God would heal you. Pray until you believe what you are saying…you walk by
faith and not by sight.”
The unnecessary guilt that some put upon a person who
is ill is beyond understandable. Firstly, what good is prayer if it is not spoken in faith? So, that did not make sense to me.
It surprised me that the woman actually believes that none should ever be
sick, that everyone should be healed, that abundance in every area is a
reality. It is too much to get into here, but I trust the Lord. We live in a fallen, polluted, corrupted world. The Lord does wonders helping us navigate through all of life's challenges, and the devil's battles.
She proceeded to tell me how there was a group of about 10 of
them who were all unwell. They all prayed for each other, and every single one
of them were healed. I wanted to snap and angrily ask her why the whole
group didn’t head over to the hospital or the hospice and start emptying the
beds, but that would have been bitterness looking for a place to anchor its
root. I can be a real grouch if riled when I am unwell. I am praying about my flaws and shortcomings.
Every time I truly forgave her, she would come back
out with some other ‘I am healed, now just have faith to receive’ kind of
statement. It was a hard trial. As stated before, 2020 was the beginning of
some very serious trials that were not directly linked to Covid-19.
Do I believe in healing? You bet I do. I have been
healed of other things before. Even one of my dogs was healed of a stomach
issue one time when I did not have enough money to cover vet costs.
I have seen other miracles. Not only do I have good reports that have been shared, but I have had the privilege
of hearing good reports from others also. Yet, all is in God’s hands. Job did not speak ‘faith’
and be healed, neither did he do wrong by not doing so.
He was in a trial that was between Satan and God. He
came out victorious, just as we will come through victoriously. God has never lost a battle or a war. He is the victor! In the end, that is where it all lies – in the hands of a
Sovereign God, an all-wise (omnipotent) God.
A Much-Needed Smile
My region in Ontario is enjoying a warm spell known as
‘Indian summer’. Despite having been around for a couple of centuries,
no one claims to know the exact meaning of the term, although there are a few
speculations.
I am not a ‘politically correct’ person. However, I
will say that as I look at 70 years of life on this planet being just up ahead at the crest of the hill I am ascending, I can assure you that there is
nothing disrespectful or derogatory in the terminology.
Whenever I heard the expression growing up, I thought
it was to honour the natives who originally lived here, before the Europeans
arrived. Indian summer is not a yearly event, but when it does
occur it is in the autumn [fall] in the northern hemisphere, between late
September and mid-November. See: Wikipedia
It is always after the first ‘killing’ frost and a
period of chilly days and cold nights, yet always before the first snowfall. Warm
days, clear skies, warm balmy days, and a breathtaking display of colour in the autumn foliage.
Yesterday, my son, his five-year-old boy and I were
out for a drive. It was a delightfully sunny and balmy day, gladly embraced
after a week of frosty mornings and nippy night temperatures.
“Really nice today,” my son
commented casually. Nodding in agreement, I answered back, “Yes, it’s a
beautiful day!”
I have been known to have moments of dry humour. I
quipped back, “In my day they used to call it Indian summer, now they call
it “climate change.”
And there is your much needed smile! (It is okay if
it is slightly lopsided…)
A Hard Hill to Climb
Friends, I have poured out my writings in public for 17
years, giving forth what I believe the Lord wanted to minister to others. It
has ever been to the glory of Jesus, as I still remain an unknown. I am okay
with that, if in any way, I helped someone.
The exact timing is unknown at this moment because so
much transpired in three short years. However, at one point earlier this year,
the Lord had me write a man that I would have preferred avoiding for the rest
of my natural days.
Anytime he spoke with me, it was like being spewed on
by poison. It was a season where I had been sharing off and on for a couple (possibly
three years – I could check archives) where the Lord was trying our hearts.
Some say that does not happen, but the Word of God
does indeed try our hearts. God knows where we truly stand with Him, but do we,
or do we deceive ourselves?
In fact, when the Lord made a request of me, He led me
to the scripture that I am about to post here. It is the psalm that pertained
to dear Joseph, who was sold into slavery and went into captivity in Egypt.
Interestingly, it is the same psalm (and the second
and only other time it is written in the Bible: Touch not My anointed,
and do My prophets no harm. [vs 15]
It is so often taken out of context, and used when and
if anyone challenges what today’s teachers or ‘prophets’ speak forth. If you
are born-again, and filled with the Holy Spirit, and are abiding in Christ, and
He in you, then you are anointed.
People can lose their anointing – sin separates us
from God.
Both times those words in verse 15 are penned in the
Holy Scriptures, it pertains to the Israelites and the ancient prophets, from
Abraham onward.
The Israelites were called God’s chosen people, when
they were still few in number.
Out of the line of heritage, the promised Messiah
Jesus (Yeshua) would be born. Jacob, whom the Lord renamed Israel, had
12 sons, and from them the 12 tribes would spring forth, thus beginning the fulfillment
of the promise to Abraham.
Jesus would come forth from the tribe of Judah.
Two verses down:
He sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold
for a servant: Whose feet they hurt with fetters: he was laid in iron:
Until the time that his word came
(his promise/dreams): the Word of the Lord TRIED
him. [Ps 105:17-19]
The Trying of the Heart
I do not know who reads the blog anymore who began
with me back in 2008. But around 2012, Passover, when I lived in Georgia, I came across scripture that I knew the Lord was moving on me to do.
Does He always do that? No, and we need to be careful
what we lay at the feet of our Lord. I do fear the Lord and do my best to walk in and to speak
truth because He is a holy God that I will one day stand before, along with everyone else.
He knows what words come from the lips and what words
come from the heart. I had hair down to the middle of my back, and I was being
led to cut it. [see Jeremiah 7]
The following comes from that chapter in Jeremiah. The Lord is angry because His people trust in lying words (things they want to hear, rather than the things that God is really saying through Jeremiah, a prophet). [vs 3] He exhorts
them to amend their ways and actions, to execute ‘judgment’ between a man and
his neighbour. [vs 5]
He reminds them how He consistently rose up early to
speak with them, but when He called, they would not answer. He tells them not
to pray to Him for the people or intercede because He will not hear the
prayers.
YHWH is angry because the people refuse to hear Jeremiah, who is speaking the
true words of God. It is not pleasing to their ears; they have enough to
contend with, without being brought down by some doom and gloom prophet.
In April, 2012, on Passover, the Lord had me cut my
hair. I had been living in the States for five years, but the people overall
were waxing worse and worse.
Witchcraft and the occult were more out in the open then,
homosexuality was and parades were becoming the rage, and increasing in popularity over the course of 40
years. Modern-day child sacrifice had increased; abortions slaughtered more and more
babies, as the courts lowered the bar continuously for the timeslot that abortions
could be performed legally.
Today, in 2022, “abortion” can be carried out after
birth. That is NOT a typo - carried out AFTER natural birth. Can the hand and work of Satan and his minions not be clearly seen, as they mock God and
boldly display their hatred for His beloved creation, which is all of humankind?
Cut off your hair, O Jerusalem, and cast it away, and
take up a lamentation on high places; for the Lord has rejected and forsaken
the generation of His wrath.
For the children of Judah have done evil in My sight,
says the Lord: they have set their abominations in the house which is called by
My name, to pollute it. [Jer7:29-30]
I wondered how much I was to cut off, and I was told
to the shoulders (I still get choked up 10 years later) because He said
that He still has His remnant within the land.
He said that He was lifting His glory from the land,
but to pray for the people. Even in judgment, His love is evident – a solid
Abba, a good Creator.
He sent forth the warning, desiring His people turn
their hearts back to Him, acknowledging how we failed Him, compromising with
the entertainment industry, hobnobbing with certain politicians, professing ‘love,
love, love’, when it is the fame and lucre that is loved.
I wrote about it. O
Jerusalem, Jerusalem – O America, America (this was a repost from 2012
post)
My heart aches…
Will You Reach Out?
Someone sent me links to a couple of a man's articles in a list carefully put together of news items, articles and prophecies, which were then sent out to several people in a mailing list. And apparently, some of my articles were sent to this same man. He did post a couple of my articles, for which I am grateful.
They would have been lost, along with several others
that were destroyed by a trojan or virus (ransomware) from 2012 back down to and including 2008 - a few (three or so) were from 2005 (some
written before I had internet, but were posted later on).
He lived in the States, as did I at that time. We communicated a few times by email; I do not know how many times, but a few flowed, not volumes, not a lot, but in truth I do not recall how many.
It was only over the course of a few months? I truly do not recall; it was not long is
all I do know. Those were busy days, not just my blog. I had much work editing and ghostwriting, which is how I survived when I lived the seven years in the U.S.
We also spoke perhaps two, possibly three, times on
the phone. This man had done some good things for others, that is a given. However, there were a few women that
reached out to me, having been upset by him. One said she had been accused of something, and a couple of others experienced rather strong criticism from him. I cannot recall the details but some were upset at the time, anyway.
Not really knowing the man well enough, I did try to
stick to Christian principles and values. Did they try to speak with him about
the offense? Only one had, but the others were too hurt. Perhaps they wrote me too soon after the offense.
They had only become familiar with me or my website through the couple of articles he had posted, giving out my name and website. All my articles contain my email address for anyone who wants to reach out for prayer.
I knew the one who did go back later on, after some time in prayer, and reach out to him, a tender soul, a sister in Christ that became a friend over the years.
Forgiveness came up; did they forgive? My friend did, before she reached out to him, and another was not sure - it was too soon. She was not strong in the Lord, and was overly-sensitive. Something she said in an email had been misunderstood apparently, and a rebuke came forth, and she was hurt by it.
He and I had a falling out, and I truly do not remember
why the final blow was, but I do know that for me to slam shut a door, there had to be good reason. There has been much trauma to my head from childhood up until my late 30s.
As a result, there are areas and things that I simply cannot recall.
It seems to be 'selective' memory, which is frustrating because then people do not believe it, except for a specialists who is educated about trauma to the brain. When we cannot see a disability (if it is not physical or understood by the senses), we tend to have a hard time understanding, and especially matters that pertain to the brain. This began in my youth, perhaps early or mid-20s.
I do know that on one phone call when I said the name “Jesus”,
he angrily retorted, “His name is not Jesus. That is a pagan name. His name is
Yahoshua.” I explained that I love all the names of the Lord, but I was saved
under the name of Jesus. That did not go over well.
However, the odd thing is that on another call after
that, when I mentioned that incident to him, he denied it strongly, stating
that his daughter calls the Saviour ‘Jesus’, so why would he say those words to
me? I know that I did not imagine it, but when a person denies saying what they said to you, right to you, how do you respond? You know they said it, you tell them they said it, yet they deny it.
Well, I had no answer, nor did I have proof. But I do
know that that difference was not what divided our ways. Something happened that severed ties. I remember never wanting to speak to him again, and being shocked at the same time because I never saw it coming, nor would I have believed it if I were told.
It is hard to explain, but that is what happens when (for whatever reason) people deny the truth. That is why one has got no other way to handle the matter, except to give it to God.
At any rate, at the time, I truly could not recall what happened. Although we never communicated after that, Jesus led
me by His Spirit to forgive him, or I would not be forgiven.
Sometime around the time I left B.C. and was staying
with my daughter, preparing to move east to my son, and during a time of
prayer, the Lord was trying my heart. “Will you reach out to him?”
(NOTE: The above has been edited, to make it clearer and more concise, yet staying in truth - with God's help, and to the best of my ability. I want no bitterness or even a hint of such.
Moslty, I do not want to grieve the Holy Spirit, or intentionally hurt anyone. So I did edit, taking out some things that perhaps were best left unsaid. In another area, it was making things clearer in case they got misconstrued. BP 2023)
Tough Calls
I really did not understand why I had to contact the man, if I had forgiven him. We both had moved on in life; it was 10 years ago. However, a friend of
mine who followed him for a time, and read his articles, had told me that he had suffered a stroke. At
the time that she informed me, he still required healing.
I thanked her for the update, but I was torn. I racked
my brain but for the life of me, I could not remember what he had said or done
that had severed all communication between us. I only know that I was done, and
shaking the dust.
He was a cold-hearted pastor to my way of thinking, but my thinking back then was wrong. He was cold to me, and at times (seemingly) to certain women, but that did not make him cold overall.
Shake my head; it baffled me.
But the Lord was asking if I would let my heart and love wax cold too?
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. [Mat 5:9]
Do we offer only lip service, or allow action to reveal heart service? It was at that point that I could actually thank God
for the selective memories I get, and for the blackouts that remain covered in
mystery and forgetfulness.
It has been a silent suffering since youth, but
became worse after the time I was in the hospital for a month when I was 38,
after a night of abuse.
So, when my friend told me about the stroke, and with the help of the Holy Spirit, I prayed -- for the complete healing of
his body, mind (soul), and spirit. I prayed his strength would be
restored, and that God would take away any fear from his family or friends.
All I know is that it was sincere. One cannot pray for someone and hang onto bitterness. It has to be destroyed at the root. I felt great release to the glory of God through Jesus/Yeshua. What happened was a
long time ago.
One day during a time with the Lord earlier this year,
the man came across my heart again. I had felt the situation was dealt with,
and the case was closed. The gentle question placed upon my heart was: “Have
you truly forgiven him?” Pretty
sure, yes.
It helps when you cannot even remember what the
offense was – couldn’t have been that bad (chuckles – well, point is, to
God, our pride can often stand in the way). (NOTE: I am disappointed in some of what was written, like the comment up above - poor humour. I wonder if I should have written anything about his incident.
Why did I not leave it in God's hands. The story is true to the best of my recollection, yes, but it did not have to be published. Forgive me, Lord. It should have been kept between us.
I have to leave the rest here now, sadly. Perhaps it will help someone else, some other writer. I have learned not to be hasty in writing and posting about anything that may not be fully dealt with in the spiritual realm, between must be dealt with between the Holy Spirit and me. And especially do not post anything that is written - in the flesh (carnal nature) -- BP2023)
If I had truly forgiven him, would I be willing to
reach out, to let him know that there was no animosity on my part, and that I
had prayed for him? I had been genuinely glad when a friend told me (several
years back) that he was doing well again.
The scripture that shone on my heart’s path was: Blessed
are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. [Mat
5:9]
The Result
Desiring to obey the Lord because of my love for Him,
but more because of the love, grace and mercy He has extended to me over the
years, I set out to send an email. It did not come easy – I was not sure what
to say.
I started it with something along the lines like, “I
do not know if you remember me”. So, I re-introduced myself, also
explaining that I was not sure what our ‘falling out’ had been – I could
not recall.
It was explained that a friend had told me of his
stroke several years ago, and that I had been moved at that time to pray for
him (which is truth, as the Lord sees my words here this moment).
Not too much else was said I don’t think; just that I
had left Georgia (the States) in September 2014 and was in BC. Now, I
cannot remember if I was at my eldest daughter’s when I wrote the email? – but nevertheless,
I mentioned Alberta and heading to Ontario. It was earlier this year that the
Lord tried my heart. Anyway, not much else was said except to wish him the
best. I really do not recall, but I am pretty sure that was about it.
The first thing he wrote back is that he did not
believe me. All I can figure is he meant about not remembering what severed the
ties. All I know is that I was angry at him, and found him to be bitter against
certain women…it’s the best I can remember; I cannot recall what happened or
what was said, but I do know four other women that came to me years ago, over
some upset.
He told me that if I had been “hearing from God”, I
would know that his stroke was a disciplinary action on the Father’s part, but
he is convinced I do not hear from God. He also called me an adulteress and scolded me for not
speaking of repentance anywhere in the letter.
Wow, it certainly was not what I
expected. I think I expected something like ‘water under the bridge’, ‘bygones
be bygones’. It had been 10 (TEN) years since we communicated. What
was I to repent to him about? We never met in person. We did not know each other well.
Adulteress? My ex-husband
divorced me; he continued living with a woman he met until she passed from
cancer. Even if he had not been with her, he trashed the
wedding vows when he took advantage of an innocent child. He went to
prison for the things he did with the children when they were in his care. If he repents, God forgives...as have I.
Edited
Yes, I have been an adulteress, a fornicator, a liar, a thief, a druggie, a drinker, a cusser, an idolater, a rebel, and more -- I have likely broken every commandment. I am not proud of the fact that I was all those things, but I am not those things anymore, and I refuse to allow Satan or anyone else to put me under the bondage of shame, when Jesus set me free.
Jesus/Yeshua forgave me when I repented with godly sorrow, and it is under the blood. Ten years passed since the man heard from me, but his words were hostile and cold.
The Lord did not tell me that He was chastening the
man for his poor diet, hence the stroke. I do not believe the Lord corrects or chastens us with sickness. Rather, it would be the consequences of our choices, yes.
I have a hard time believing that God puts sickness on us, or chastens us with sickness, unless what is meant is that He allows the consequences of poor choices to teach us.
But another thing is, why would the Lord tell me who He is disciplining and why? Those kind of things are between the person and the Lord. God cares for His people, and is no gossip. If He tells us something, He has a good reason and a pure motive. He has to be able to trust us.
What the Lord was trying my heart about was:
[1] - had I genuinely forgiven him
[2] - would I reach out to show him there is no bitter
root
[3] - would I be a peacemaker and glorify Jesus
That man is a Christian. The rejection from brethren can
sometimes take its toll on us, worse than the rejection of an unbeliever (unless it is someone very close to the heart), but when Peter asked Jesus (Yeshua) how often we are to keep forgiving, the answer was seventy times seven times.
[Mat 18:21, 22]
It is not easy. Sometimes it takes me awhile to work through
something. Yet, I can assure you that the Lord faithfully helps us when we sincerely desire to forgive and let it go.
We must, beloved brethren...it is true peace and freedom. Then pray God will help them...He will, if they really want to forgive too.
I cry a lot these days…hearts have waxed so cold. Still not over that long trip across Canada. It seems that today condemnation rides high; pride crushes, but then I recall one of my favourite
expressions.
It sounds like something Jesus/Yeshua would say. Some have credited Mark Twain, but it is not one of his quotes. Others credited C.S. Lewis, but it is not his either. It is an anonymous quote, but I strongly like it:
Forgiveness is the fragrance of
the lily upon the heel of the one who crushed it.”
But Jesus' words are full of love, wisdom and instruction:
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Forgive and you will be forgiven, for with the measure you use, the same shall be measured back to you… [Mat 6:14; Lk 6:37, 38]
We do not have to understand everything. We just have
to learn our own lessons, and pass our own tests. We all make mistakes. Hopefully,
they become less and less. We will not reach perfection (without error or flaw)
on this side of glory.
So, as I always say, as did those who went before me,
Keep strong; hold fast to the shield of faith, and trust in Jesus. He will
never let us down, and our tears are precious to Him.
Dear saints, I have heard that some of you are
going through such an onslaught that you are crying out for relief, crying out
for it to end. You have been fighting a good fight, but the battle has been too
long, the onslaught relentless.
He knows our frailties, He can handle our emotional
outbursts that come from continuous pain and non-stop turmoil. He has seen your
sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving, and the ‘little drummer boy’ efforts at
worship from the heart.
Even others who have suffered silently, and for a long
time, cannot understand what you are going through the way that your Creator
does.
Father, thank You that all can come boldly, yet humbly before Your throne. Thank You for hearing my prayer. Thank Yu Jesus for all You accomplished so that can be confident in You. Thank You for Your love, and for Your discipline.
Thank You for being our strength and comfort when others come against us, and misunderstand us. I pray for spines of steel, and a heart of compassion; yet a holy boldness to stand for what is right.
I pray for brothers and sisters who are
suffering to the point of being completely undone. Bless those who fight bravely out of
love for You, from a desire to please You for the goodness that You have shown them…
Sometimes we can be like little children, seeking Your approval. We
know Jesus that salvation is free, and o how glad we are for that. Grant Your people even more strength Lord.
Thank You for all You do. I pray in Jesus' name that You bring forth the healing that many have waited
and hoped long for, without giving up, even if they have, at times hung on by just a
mustard seed of faith.
Abba, even those who are not struggling with physical
ailments or limitations are weary Father. Daniel forewarned about the wearing
down of the saints. Answer the secret petitions of the heart, Lord, as only you can do.
Bring
in the prodigals, restore them back to their families. Lord, reveal Yourself to the
Muslims, the Hindus, the Buddhists, the New Age – Lord, do a quick work before
the great falling away that You spoke of occurs. It is already happening...
Break the chains of those caught in the steely snares
of addictions, internally suffering at the hands of demonic tormentors for
they know not your love, and fear grips them like a python.
Yeshua, our Jesus…You said that it only takes faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains (childlike faith). Lord God, we cast down all thoughts of unbelief
and fear that would seek to rob us of our faith. We hold up the shield of faith, hardened
by the elements, softened by the oil of the Holy Spirit. May the fiery darts slide off the shields, Abba, with the fires quenched. Thank You Jesus (it's all because of You and what You did, are doing and will do. Bless Your holy name.)
We KNOW You exist. Show us what Your will is for our lives, for Your wisdom and care is beyond our understanding. You are a rewarder of those who earnestly seek You – Your presence, Your
strength, Your direction, Your holiness, all that You are -- more than suffices.
Thank You for teaching us to endure. Thank You for helping us to hold on until the time appointed. We have asked that we may be considered
worthy to escape that which is coming, that which is written in Your Word.
Revival begins in us, but may true revival come forth before the great and terrible day of the Lord. We have heard that revival has begun in many countries, but the reports only trickle in from missionaries.
India, Pakistan, Iraq, Iran, Korea (North), China, Sudan, parts of Africa, throughout Europe...certain parts of certain countries where it is a danger to even name, o Lord, protect our brothers and sisters who suffer great persecution.
Grant them favour in the eyes of their captors, and mercy
at the hand of their jailers. Keep them strong in spirit. May they know freedom and an end to torment
Purge us from bitterness, unforgiveness and
all that is not of you. Help us rise back up if we fall in our weak moments… many are tired, Lord. Refresh; revive us.
We bless you, Jesus. We exalt You and lift You on high
for all to see, Holy King. You said if I AM lifted up, I will draw all men unto
Me. We glorify You; be pleased o King. Be pleased. Your blood covers
our armour. The light and the glory of the Father is upon the precious blood of His only begotten Son.All is spoken in the name above all names, and to His
glory alone, Jesus the Messiah/Yeshua, the Anointed One. Amen
Your Tears are Precious to God
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. [Rev 21:3]You tell my wanderings: You put my tears into your bottle: are they not in Your book? When I cry unto You, then shall my enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me. [Ps 56:8, 9]
If I remember correctly, this song was written after the loss of a child.
He Understands My Tears – the Isaacs (click to play)
He understands my tears...
It's hard to believe He still loves me
Knowing how wrong I have been
When all I can say is I'm sorry
When all I can feel is my sin
He understands when all I can do is cry
He feels the hurt that no one can see down inside
And when the words get in the way I know He still
hears
For He understands my tears.
Hallelujah
You may not believe that I’m broken
For all you can see is me smile
Oh but He hears the heart that's unspoken
And He gives me strength through each trial
He understands when all I do is cry
He feels the hurt that no one can see down inside
And when the words get in the way I know He still
hears
For He understands my tears.
Oh when the words get in the way I know He still
hears
For He understands when no one else can
He understands my tears.
Be at Peace
If you would like prayer, please write to me and I
will gladly lift you up before our Lord, and stand in the gap. I believe in the
power of prayer. The prayers of faithful
brethren have helped me through some very difficult times, I can assure you.
The effectual, fervent prayer of the righteous avails
much. [Jam 5:16]
In a little less than three weeks, I will celebrate 68
years of life, living longer than I deserved. These past several years have
taken a toll, and this last hit of pneumonia has me almost flattened.
My breathing that had caused me such distress, and
even panic attacks at times, because I was living in homes laden with black
mold (unbeknownst to me in those times), corrected itself about six
weeks after being in this mold-free home.
However, the guck that was in my lungs from this virus,
which I believe hit the population from the chemtrails, has come back a second
round. Keep in mind the clinic I went to is two towns away, so we are speaking
about a very large area of people that were affected.
The number of little children under 10 at the clinic
was surreal, but there were also elderly folks such as myself, and younger
adults (20s – 50s). Keeping my hope in the Lord, I still must be realistic. I
am very shaky today, light-headed (this is day NINE – but only the FIFTH (5)
day of taking medicine).
My breathing does frighten me, and yes, I have to talk
myself out of panic attacks. Breath is life, and without it, well…need I say? (smiles)
If anyone is so led, please keep me in prayer. God has given me longer than I
deserve, and I do thank Him.
I do believe in healing, but realistically, not
everyone is healed. Ack, you know how it is when you are unwell, things seem
harder, especially if it has been going on for awhile, and yes, folks are
saying, ‘have faith, you will be healed’.
Precious saints, I have faith, but God is Sovereign in
all things. He told me a couple of decades ago, yes, before I committed, that
His timing is not my timing. It took me quite awhile to get my head wrapped
around that.
The Lord would say, “Soon (about
something)” … and I would get all gung-ho (unthinkably enthusiastic and eager,
according to OXFORD dictionary).
I would get all excited, expecting something in a
couple of days, or a week, perhaps a month. I have said for years and years,
that the Lord NEVER gives me dates. If ever I got a date, it would likely be
from my flesh…or the enemy.
I’m very tired…God’s will be done. And Lord willing, I
will be picking the topic of mental health back up. I have found some exciting
facts that may help readers, as some of it is information I paid for.
Some of the info comes from meetings that feature many
qualified, caring experts in the medical field (all displeased with Big
Pharma and their lies, including the lies they were taught in their training,
and the things they were prevented from knowing).
It is incredible how our emotions are linked to some
of our vital organs, and how stress especially, plus trauma, are major players that can cause very serious
illnesses. I had no idea how doctors really do just cover the symptoms with a
band-aid and ignore the cause.
In 2012, when the Lord gave me the title of my new
website (unfortunately, I could not keep up the cost), I had no idea how He would
indeed begin to expose things.
It was called the Time of Revealing website-
with the white-gloved hand pulling back the proverbial curtain to reveal what
was hidden behind, more often than not, a grand illusion.
Today, I do not feel well at all. Earlier (end of
October, beginning of November), I was under demonic attack. I checked my
spiritual armour; I had fasted and prayed (through the night and through the
day, only until 3 PM, then, stop again for the night).
So, no, I am not under spiritual attack. We are told
to “Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee.” Many quote the latter,
but leave off the part about being submitted to God (under His authority).
I am just very unwell. Am I repeating myself? Yikes. No matter what, I must say that
it has been an honour and a privilege to serve you through the Lord these 17
years (15 on the blog). There are some who feel that I have let them down, and some who do not see me in a favourable way at all, but I refuse to let bitterness take a root. It has to be nipped in the bud, and with fleshly emotions and feeling, the Holy Spirit will help us. We are told to be anxious for nothing but to bring our prayers and requests to God.
I am grateful to the ones who have encouraged me by writing and sharing how the Lord helped them through something written. That is a good report, and I am grateful to those who take a moment to write.
for His glory
Bonita dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com
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