Crowd of Witnesses Watching the Race

No Warning Regarding 9/11Memorial

I inserted this part at the top of my article to settle a question. A dear sister in the Lord and close friend asked me if I had anything about 9-11 in my spirit and I answered her no. 

May the Lord help me if I'm wrong, but I have not been alerted to any attack happening at any memorials on the fifteenth anniversary of the 9/11 attack on the twin towers that occurred in New York City, September 11, 2001.

Fox News reported that the Department of Homeland Security issued a warning for all law enforcement agencies to be on high alert for "potential terrorist activity" on the date of September 11, 2016, which marks the 15th anniversary of when the twin towers were attacked. 

It is also the start of the NFL season, and concerns are that terrorists are striking the more public places such as stadiums, malls, concerts and other very public places where the masses gather.

Although there are no threats at this time that are "specific" or "credible", the DHS are not taking any chances urging agencies to be prepared and alert.

Fox News quotes: "The intelligence notification specifically cited recent ISIS-inspired and directed attacks - from Nice, France to Orlando, Fla., to Istanbul, Turkey - as a caution to U.S. law enforcement agencies to remain vigilant in the face of an "ongoing heightened threat environment."

"These incidents involved tactics ranging from unsophisticated, opportunistic attacks by lone ISIL-inspired individuals using firearms, edged weapons, improvised explosive devices (IEDs), and commercial vehicles, to more sophisticated, coordinated operations in Europe possibly directed by the group in Syria, using multiple operatives wearing person-borne improvised explosive devices (PBIEDs)," the intelligence bulletin noted in summarizing recent successful ISIS-linked attacks."  
(End of quote)

The FBI and Homeland Security had previously issued a warning for a possible terrorist attack for the July 4th celebration, as reported by USA Today

In a day of mixed messages, confusion and deception, there is a thing that occurred that is really quite touching. I am not American, but still, to me this was a compassionate and gentle gesture on behalf of the Russians. 

The United States was presented with a gift by President Vladimir Putin on behalf of the people of Russia. The structure is a bronze-clad, 100 foot fractured tower, weighing 175 tonne. Inside the fracture is a large steel teardrop, and at its base is listed the names of those who perished that fateful day. 

Unfortunately, the artist Zurub Tesereteii, did not have an updated list for the victims and failed to remove 43 names that were deleted from official records in 2003 and 2004.  The removed names were of those who either were not dead or did not exist.

The structure was officially named "To the Struggle Against World Terrorism", but is also referred to as the "Tear of Grief".  Those sailing into the New York Harbor will see the teardrop monument from Russia before they see the Statue of Liberty from France.

If you would like a more detailed, yet brief write-up, see Soapiebox: Tear of Grief – teardrop monument

Again, I have to say that I have not received any alert from the Lord regarding tomorrow, the 11th day of September 2016, on the 15th anniversary of the attack on the towers in NYC.

What I believe the real urgency is that the Lord wants His children to pay attention to is written below.  It is an incredible time in history, as we watch the last of the last days, along with its foreboding and increasing darkness.

The urgency is for us to be sober and in God's will, for such a time as this.

Be of Great Courage

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God. [1Sam 30:6]

In my attempts to encourage others in the past year, I must confess that I was also actually trying to encourage myself in the Lord.  How many of us have gone through tests that have overwhelmed us, especially if they are long trials?  

How many of us have been experiencing trials as never before, trials that surpass the proverbial 'dark night of the soul'?  Sure, all of us have been through tough trials or tests at some point in our walk with God, if we have been walking with Him for awhile, whether a short while or a long while. 

I remember other troubled, turbulent times, when it seemed like all was going to come against me. I have heard testimonies of countless others who came through painful, devastating trials as well.

Over time, I came to understand that all of God's people go through very dark and difficult seasons, times that are very chaotic, overwhelming and unsure indeed. I also came to understand that the trials for others become harder as well, the further they walked in obedience with God.

In those seasons, we either press in closer to God or we can become angry, disillusioned, or even begin to shut down.  Yet those who truly love the Lord, simply cannot - we simply cannot shut down completely; we hang on with that mustard seed of faith. It is the precious Holy Spirit that holds us and will not let us give in. It truly would have to be us that falls away or gives up. Don't give up

We may not realize it at the time, but as I have said before, it is often in retrospect that we see clearly, with understanding. Many call this hindsight. We all have one hundred percent hindsight, although we see darkly when it comes to the now (during trials) and when it pertains to the future. We only know what God reveals to us, in the ways He chooses, such as in His Word, by His Spirit, and through others. His ways are outstanding and unsurpassable!

Look at Joshua, a mighty man of God; a man who would not be moved, even when the majority spoke the opposite of what he was saying. Remember when Joshua and Caleb, along with ten others (one leader from each of the ancestral tribes), were sent by Moses to spy out the Promised Land?

We all know the story, but for those who do not, you can find it in the book of Numbers, chapter 13, beginning with the 17th verse. In Numbers 13 verse 8, we see the name "Oshea" (some translations spell it "Hoshea"). In verse 16, we see that Moses changed the name of Oshea to "Jehoshua" or "Joshua".

Caleb and Joshua were the only two out of the twelve spies that came back with a good report. The rest trembled in fear and brought a discouraging and evil (fearful) report about the giants in the land, giants so large that they were as grasshoppers in their own sight and in the sight of the giants. [see verse 33]

Joshua listened keenly to the Lord, believed and obeyed Him. When the Israelites had taken Gilgal (before Jericho), five kings fled to the caves. When they were captured, Joshua was the first to encourage his warriors.

And Joshua said unto them, Fear not, nor be dismayed, be strong and of good courage: for thus shall the Lord do to all your enemies against whom you fight.  [Josh 10:25]

Laying Down Pride

When we go through a great trial, how often do we cling to pride and think that we can get through it by ourselves? We do not consider it pride; we may tend to think it will soon pass, we can handle it, or we may not want to burden others. How many times do we withdraw, in order to try and work it out ourselves?

We have heard of a 'dark night of the soul' or a 'crisis of faith', but what do you call the granddaddy of all trials- a trial like none of the hard ones that you have been through before?

When one writes, teaches or even preaches and that one finds themselves in an overwhelming, earth-shattering trial like none that they have been through before, how does one navigate through it and still be real? After all, saints are to be examples before an unbelieving world, are we not? This may be one reason that multitudes can relate to Job, and why the book of Psalms is so comforting.

There are a million thoughts that race through the mind, some of which may have presented themselves in previous tests or trials.  One may wonder if they have done something to anger God, or search the heart for any possible sin that may have brought chastisement or judgment. How often do we confess sins that we may not even be guilty of...just in case we were blind to them, yet still guilty although unaware?

When the Lord requests that we do something (perhaps part of a personal covenant), it may very well be one of the hardest things He ever required of you - like the rich man who was told to sell all and give it to the poor. Yet, the Lord tries the heart.

He may assure a person that 'you can do this', but doubts may begin to haunt them. He may be silent and seem afar off, but He is with us through it all. 

We must block unbelief with the shield of faith, yet as time passes and the trial continues on, sometimes relentlessly and seemingly without end, even the strongest can become frustrated, weary or completely overwhelmed (undone).

Mankind also has a very real adversary who will indeed come at the saints in their weakest moments. He will use anyone, anything and everything to try and force a surrender, to throw in the towel and give in to despair and defeat. Do not surrender to his lies! He is a murderer and the father of lies, a master of deception, a cunning, clever, subtle and evil spirit.

Yes, it is true that many blame Satan or some devil for everything that goes awry, which would be the wrong too. Not everything is from Satan. There are consequences brought about by our sins.

On the other hand, there are Christians who say that Satan will not come against us if we have faith and are walking in God's will, or say that God will protect His own and not allow evil to touch us. Really? What would such people have said to Job, or Joseph, Daniel, the apostles or Jesus Himself?

God is Sovereign, but we cannot see all things as He does, nor do we have the wisdom or understanding that He possesses.  Some things we will not know or understand in this life. That is where trust comes in. It is not an easy walk.

The Cleansing Stream
artist -- Ron DiCianni

About a year ago, a great trial began for me, and yes, I have come to call it the 'granddaddy' of all trials, the hottest fire yet.  The heat of the fire has been increased over the past six months, with every possible thing going wrong.

Here is where I lay down pride.  I struggled with thoughts, such as, 'if I share this on my blog, people who have followed for any length of time might say, "What again? Another trial? Now what...?"  No one invites hardships, no one.

There has also been great temptation to 'go it alone' and not say a word, but rather to focus on encouraging others who may be in their own deep valley of trouble and sorrows. But would it make me a hypocrite, a pretender, if I tried to go alone? 

Confusion certainly can and does happen to people in the midst of severe trials. We do not always understand or have satisfactory answers. There are times when nothing makes sense. How I struggled in things, not knowing what to do; times when God is silent.

One tends to think that surely it will end soon.  Tomorrow is a new day. In hardships, a believer may consider that when it is over, then we can tell people and give God the glory. 

I have also heard more than once that 'God does not use people when they are depressed, or down and out. He has plenty of vessels He can use.' True, but who can say who God will or will not use or when?  Who can order His hand or counsel Him in what to do? 

But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God has chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty. [2Cor 1:27]

Is it not best to shift focus off of one's self and reach out to others?  Are we an island by ourselves or are we part of the Body of Christ?  Are we not to pray one for another?  If we keep things to ourselves, who will know to pray?

No Masks Allowed

Pride can be so subtle, cloaking itself as false humility. I was guilty of this; please forgive me, but I might as well be upfront about it.  After all, anyone who gives prophetic words and constantly encourages people to 'trust God'; 'have faith'; 'fight the good fight'; 'don't give up'; 'praise God through it all' etc, surely and truly that one must bloody well be ready to walk the walk and put their words into action.

There are those who say, "Well, you must have a chink in your armour (area of vulnerability) or a gap (area of weakness) somewhere, or Satan could not hit you."  Sometimes we choose to go it alone simply because we allow lies, doubt and/or fearful thoughts to consume us.

We do not want to suffer from the JFS (Job's Friends Syndrome).  Yet, I would counsel anyone in a severe trial to pray, press into God even more, and yes, to reach out to trusted brethren to stand with you in the gap and pray.

The Holy Spirit is faithful to guide us. The Lord truly does not leave us or forsake us. If there is unconfessed sin, He will reveal it to us. If it is something that the Lord has asked you to do and with all your heart, you are determined to obey, expect an onslaught from the enemy.

Why does the Lord allow such hardships?  There is no one pat answer that encapsulates every trial.  However, it is guaranteed if you are determined to do the will of God, there will come opposition. The enemy's goal is to have you give up, to let go of your faith because without faith, it is impossible to please God. [Heb 11:6]

But I promise that if you stay close to God, even in His silence, He will bring you through, even if you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can only see one step lit up at a time. Step by step, even moment to moment, He will guide us.

Flesh or the adversary may tempt us to put on a mask, to hide our problems from everyone. He will twist thoughts and try to blind our minds to truth, but we are not unbelievers.  We must cast down all imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and bring every thought into captivity into the obedience in Christ. [2Cor 10:5]  

You can do it! I can do it! We are in a race, a bloody war, but we have a King who is on our side, and if God be for us, who can be against? [Rom 8:31] Just prior to that verse is the first verse I ever memorized. For we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to them who are the called according to HIS purpose. [Rom 8:28]

Granddaddy of Trials and Spiritual Warfare

We are to not only remain teachable, but also reachable. People have to be able to reach us, in order to teach us, or even to help us. If people do not know what is going on, how can they help? How do they know to pray?  People are not mind readers.  

We have to remain approachable, no matter what we are going through. Yes, it is a tough call. Please do not misunderstand me.  There are times that we need to be alone, to digest certain things that happening or have happened, to reflect upon and to sort through it all. 

We also need alone time with our Lord God.  What I am cautioning against is becoming so isolated, so despaired, so overwhelmed that we allow no one to come near, or even give them the opportunity to pray.

There was (and has been) such a struggle going on inside of me, and my heart aches at the thought of being a hypocrite.  Sometimes we want to be cool, but we end up a fool, if we become consumed with ourselves and our trials.

We are accountable and responsible not only to our glorious King, but also to our brethren.  Think about it.  If someone you knew, or another member of the Body of Christ was in the throes of a horrific trial, would you not want to know so that you could pray, or even help them if you were so led and so able?

It is so easy to fall into a pity party, but we must redirect our focus back to our Christ, to Jesus.  We must not look at the turbulent waters or fear will cause us to sink and we may feel like we are drowning in the ferocious waves.

It Begins

This last trial began about a year ago, when someone very close to me suddenly 'disappeared'.  It was completely unlike them and I was thrown off by it. About the third week after their disappearance, when in prayer, the Holy Spirit said, 'He is alive.'

I was surprised by the statement and was waiting for more information. 'He's alive and...?'  Silence!  That is all that the Lord said to me, despite me trying to prod Him for more detail. Although I was glad to hear from the Lord, I was left feeling not just baffled, but quite bewildered. My only alternative was to pray.

Over two months passed before I finally heard news. My precious friend had been in a horrific motorcycle accident. I believe with all my heart that the Lord had spared his life, but he had suffered some very serious injuries. Now the words, 'he is alive' took on a very new and profound meaning. 

I cannot pretend to know what God was thinking, but is likely safe to say that the Lord was sparing me great anxiety and concern, as my friend is in a country far away and there was no possible way that I could go to be there. 

My beloved friend was not out of the woods yet, even though he was at home. I prayed earnestly. I will say here and now that today, a year after the fact, that the Lord did heal my friend quite quickly considering the extent of his injuries...and I give our Sovereign God all the glory, with thanksgiving! 

Yet, that was only the beginning of what has come to be a very long trial that would greatly shake me, test the very foundation of my faith and try whether I truly trusted God. But what is even more concerning – can God trust me?

And this word, Yet once more, signifies the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.
Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: For our God is a consuming fire. [Heb 12:27-29]

After news came that my friend was recovering at home after over two months in hospital (and all the stress and concern that came upon me in that duration), other things began to crop up that were equally stressful. I had felt helpless and frustrated when I could not be by my friend's side in such a trying time for him, but he has a wonderful family who were there for him, as well as friends.

For this part, I cannot share publicly some of the other things that transpired in that time period a year ago, as it would betray a confidence, but suffice it to say that I was pressing in and praying with great fervency.  It seemed that I was finding myself more and more seeking God and praying. He guided me through it all. 

Yes, there were times of silence, yet it never failed that God would answer me in His timing, not mine. He would reassure me and what He said would come to pass. Only God is Sovereign and omniscient (all-knowing). 

Things kept cropping up, but it was slowly at first and not overwhelming, but still at a steady pace. Even still, it kept me constantly alert and in serious prayer.  By the grace of God, I came to understand that it was a trial, but also further pruning, purging, cleansing, and purifying.

Speeding Up

Then, about six months ago, things picked up speed, much like the snowball that plummets down a hill, building momentum and mass. It seemed that no sooner would one thing happen and I would begin to address that, when another situation would arise.  

It was March that I found out that all my saved articles that I had pulled off of the blog (which represented seven years of writing, with five being from the blog) and had placed on an external hard drive were showing up as corrupted and unreadable.

It seemed that just my writings that I had removed from the blog to transfer to another website, including my testimony, were the only files that were registering as corrupted. Some were okay, but all had to be sorted through. I wept that night and into the next day.  

All my hard work over the years, countless hours of research and writing, seemingly gone. There had been words from the Lord, news articles and so much more.

In desperation, I called a company that confidently advertised that their recovery of damaged or lost files was most successful. To cut to the quick, the external was picked up and shipped off to a university in Saskatchewan. The representative I conversed with offered me great hope.

The external was in their possession nearly two months (instead of the quote of two weeks) before it was sent back to me. All the items on the original external had been transferred to a new external hard drive, which I did purchase.

The case was missing from the original external and I was told that the covering was part of the problem, which did not make sense to me. All that was shipped back to me was the guts, the inward parts of the external.

There were over two million files on the external, which consisted of pictures, articles, songs and PDFs; all collected over a seven year period and placed on the external. I was directed to go through each file to see what was recovered, as the company did not do that. What? 

Did they know how long it would take to go through that many files? I began the process, only to find out that no files opened at all. In a desperate phone call, it was agreed that an error had occurred by one of the intern technicians and they would send me another external. This took an additional two weeks.  

Meanwhile, other stressful things kept happening, from health to finances, to troubles happening with friends and family, car troubles, to matters of the heart and relationships. Every area seemed hit. What was happening?

Spiritual Warfare

During this time, I kept pressing in with the Lord. I could not give up, but I surely did not understand all that was happening or why. To counter any negativity, I reached out to others and continued to go into the community, reaching out to the lost, ministering to them.

I also kept busy answering emails from those who wrote with concerns and those who wanted prayer. It was my way to keep the focus off of me and to walk in love, as God commands us. Others were hurting and having great trials too and how I wanted them to know that God loves them and is with them!

The good fight had to be fought, right? The focus had to be Christ, as well as my love for Him first, then others. It was working for awhile, but as the trial continued, I began to question my faith, my walk with God, my sincerity and everything else about myself. Yet even still, I could not, would not blame God. 

Every month my old car, a 2000 Grand Am, needed some kind of repair. It was draining me, as I was also sending money out to help others in pressing situations. So much was going on, yet there was one thing that was the most pressing to me.

The Lord had required I give something up. Every time He asked, I would immediately do so, yet I was not overcoming. My heart was crushed. Do I truly love God? Because as I have often said, when we truly love God, we obey Him.

Why was I not overcoming this area? I became very confused, discouraged and angry at myself. Here I was telling others that we must overcome, that we must lay it all down for God, but I was struggling in an area? The word 'hypocrite' kept coming to mind.

I began to spiral downward, my hope seemingly dashed, and I was desperately trying not to despair, trying to keep focus on the Lord, trying to keep my head above water. World events escalating in intensity and frequency, taking away focus at times.  "Lord, help me. I can't do this without You!"

Oh, how well I know that the sacrifice that is pleasing to God is ME- laying down my life. Yes, a great shaking was taking place once again and yes, I was crying out to my Maker, the Sovereign God of all creation, my Rock, my refuge.

You were running well; who hindered you from obeying the truth?  [Gal 5:7]

Transparency – Sharing My Heart

Here I will share some of my writings, when I was endeavouring to keep things between myself and the Lord. Perhaps the reader will discern the struggle, the confusion, the wrestling between my flesh and my spirit and my hope in God.

Journal – Once Upon a Time

Heaviness envelopes me like a body-gripping cloak.  Attempts to lift it from me seems in vain, yet ironically (or paradoxically), I am grateful. I feel as though I have aged ten years in one year.

Where is strength? Where is endurance? Where is discernment? I cannot pretend I understand. Have I heard You Lord, or have I been deceived?  God forbid! Forbid deception, Lord. I pray for knowledge, wisdom, increased discernment, counsel, might, understanding, the fruit of the Spirit and fear of the Lord. 

May I be a profitable servant, walking in love, walking by faith and not by sight and pleasing to You, Lord. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, and right now, my heart feels sick. I look to You Lord, the Author and Finisher of my faith.

I look to you Lord, for comfort, even chastisement, so that I know I am Yours. I look to You for truth and wise counsel, for the sake of Your Son's name, Jesus, my Yeshua - the Messiah of Nazareth and the world. Amen

God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob Gave Me an Answer

Be patient. Show love; practice longsuffering (patience) even in times of distress. Speak less, listen more. Fear not, despite outward appearances. Have faith - patience, patience. I am with you!

(a small personal message that did come to pass)

Have I ever steered you wrong before? PATIENCE - just a little longer. Walk in love and peace of Christ. All is not lost! Trust!

For we know that all things work together for good to those who love God and are the called, according to His purpose. [Rom 8:28]

Another Day

Trying to be brave when courage seems a stranger; trying to understand when logic seems resistant; trying to love, when love is yet a stranger - a stranger, but not, for God is love and He is no stranger to me.

But God!  Only God has remained Faithful and True, calming the storms, enduring turbulence and ever longsuffering, beyond all expectation.  Who can fathom the height, breath, width and depth of our Creator?

Yes, hope is deferred and indeed my heart feels sick.  Empty and numb, I must yet resist the planting of a root of bitterness. I must cut it off and destroy its very seed. This is only done through forgiveness.

It is written (having been spoken by Jesus) that if I do not forgive, I will not be forgiven. Self-pity tries to suck me down as surely as the grip of quicksand. I will walk the shaky plank over the treacherous sands of death that long to pull me into its trap.

Yet Another Day

I want to cry and cannot. Death would be welcomed, yet a longing to see things work out keeps me going. No! It is the Lord that keeps me going! Is that faith? I do not know...

I see my failures; I recognize my shortcomings. It is spiritual warfare. How soon I forgot! We war not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the dark rulers of this world and against spiritual wickedness in high places. [Eph 6]

I must cast down the thoughts of defeat. The Lord is my defense. Even when He does not act right away (immediately), His timing is always perfect.  I must remember that Jesus, my Yeshua, is my hope - Christ in me, the hope of glory.

Ah Lord, forgive me as I forgive others who have trespassed against me.

Another Day

Caught in a whirlpool, yet not being sucked down.  Instead, the churning waters keep me in a continuum of endless expectancy; hope teasing me from the sidelines, taunting me to find strength to escape.

I cry out to God, wondering how or why this all occurred. Was I deceived? God, Father of all who call upon Jesus Messiah, please guide me away from deception and seducing spirits. Please expose the wolves in sheep's clothing before they manage to bite or tear into me.

I pray to be able to discern between waywardness and those who have evil intent and impure motives. If I fail to discern now (who to trust and who not to trust), whatever will I do in the darker days ahead, if you allow me to live through it?

Ah Lord, how have I glorified you?  Depression sinks its hooked talons into me. One by one, I pluck them out, yet they snap back into me as if positioned on a loaded spring.

Praise! Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. That, in itself, is not only a challenge, but a battle. I have found that when I begin with thanksgiving, praise follows automatically. [Enter into the gates with thanksgiving and into the courts with praise.]

Encouragement Comes

Walk in holiness (set apart). Walk in humility. Trust in your God. My timing is not always your timing. Not everything that happens is a test, but yes, you are in a great trial right now. All remains the same between us. Fear not, for I have not left you or forsaken you.

Your heart aches, but soon it will soar. Remember what is written.

Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. [Is 40:31]

Put into practice the things you have learned. Remember the ancient paths and walk therein.  Pray with others and show forth love. Pray for others; walk in humility and forgiveness. I will take you step by step as I have been. Wait upon Me - wait, I say, upon My timing.  

New Day

Distractions - a flurry of activities. Times of silence are as welcome as a downpour after a long, blistering drought. Solitude has been a foreigner. Yet it does make its appearance briefly, after the chaotic waves of frenzy have first beat upon the shores.

Whoever said "silence is golden", obviously learned to appreciate it after experiencing turbulent times. Perhaps it was war time, whether physical or spiritual, yet ironically, few (even some followers of Christ) know little of spiritual warfare and many even deny we have an adversary. It's astounding!

Warfare can be as simple as a prayer (a single shot, similar to the stone in David's slingshot), combined with the sword (the Word of the Lord), cutting off the head of the giant.

Continued Journal

There is much to be grateful for - a safe place, a roof over my head, food in my belly...yet negative forces intrude and the battle of flesh versus spirit reigns. Ah Lord, will I ever pass this test?

Another Day

My soul wearies at the hardships of life, yet every day there arises reasons to be grateful. Every day, the challenge to look to God through His beautiful Son Jesus Christ stands boldly before me.

Then, a whispering, "Do you dare to yet hope, despite all that has come against you?  Yes, I still speak in the darkness. I speak at unexpected times, in the still of silence."

I answered: Lord, in ways I have failed you, and bitterness tries desperately to take root in my soul, but I want none of it. I long to forgive, but betrayal and lies anger me. How did I not see it?

How will I do in the darkness that is now here and the grosser darkness that quickly is descending, to envelope the entire earth?

God's answer: Peace, be still. I shall yet use you as a vessel unto honour. Before destruction, the heart of man is haughty, but before honour is humility. [Prov 10:12] Do not forget this.

Heartfelt reply: O Lord - Abba, if I could learn to walk in true humility as [Your Son] Jesus, but as He did, to also walk in the boldness of wisdom, the strength of truth and integrity and the endurance of a mighty warrior such as Christ.

Lord's answer:  Patience just a little longer. Be still and be patient. Trust! When all seems hopeless, there is yet hope hiding behind the clouds of darkness like the sun on a stormy day.

In the battles of the flesh, I AM still God, and nothing is too hard for Me. Who turned the heart of Pharaoh to let My people go? Who brought madness upon a Nebuchadnezzar when pride lifted him high?

Who allowed Job to be tried and stretched to the maximum? Who tested the faith of Abraham to the point where he had the knife raised in the air, ready to end the life of his son of promise?

Who brought the raging waters down upon Pharaoh's armies when he was in hot pursuit of Moses and the Israelites? Who restored sanity to Nebuchadnezzar once he had learned that in all his majesty and fine accomplishments, he still was not greater than his Sovereign Creator?

Who restored double to Job after he was tried and after he repented of his self-righteousness and doubting questions, demanding that I explain Myself? Who stayed the hand of Abraham through a messenger (an angel) and ended the trial of his faith?

Yes indeed, I can stop the orbit of the earth. I can move the sun ten degrees forward or backward. I can cause a donkey to speak in the language of a man. I can cause water to pour forth from a rock in a time of need, or cause a coin of value to appear in the mouth of a fish to pay the tax collector.

Nothing is impossible or too hard for the Creator of all the heavens, the earth and all that is contained therein. Nothing!

When all seems against you, remember that I AM still Sovereign. I own the cattle on a thousand hills. I move on the hearts of mankind and I can still calm the wild seas.

Some claim that I do not intervene enough. Others claim that I do not intervene at all, and there are few who give Me glory in all things. There are the few who see My hand, yet who searches to see My face?

There are the precious few who search for My face to learn more of Me and who I am, and not always seek My hand to see what I will perform, or merely what I will give.

Indeed many are called, but few are chosen. I promised that I would never leave or forsake you. Wait upon Me as you continue to learn the ways I work. I have not led you astray nor have I allowed you to be deceived.  

Walk in integrity and diplomacy. Walk in love; walk in the Light and speak life. Lo, I am with you, even to the end of the world.  Selah

(End of excerpts from journal)

Final Note

I have prayed about what the Lord gave me, which I posted, about the countries on alert, as well as the words: fire, earthquake, great winds

He has not given me more regarding the matter at this time. I must accept that... and I do, but if He does impress more upon me, I will share it, but only if and when. We must keep in prayer and ever close to our Lord. 

There is a second part to this article which hopefully will be posted tomorrow.

It is a time of purifying, a time of cleansing. He will have a people ready to do His will, and to walk in His will, in love and obedience. May He grant wisdom, strength and courage to every reader. May He answer your deepest and most pressing prayers quickly, for your sake, but always...

for His glory

Bonita                   dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com

Battle above the Clouds - Part 16 - Edge of a Dangerous Precipice

April 13, 2013 – [O4.13.2013] 

Battle above the Clouds - At the Edge of a Dangerous Precipice

The Unexpected  

It was three days ago that I began this article, but suddenly there has been a great flurry of activity with phone calls, emails, the utility company (electric), landlord and other business. If you have been awaiting an email response, I apologize for the great delay.

Every effort will be made to catch up within the next day or so. I know this article will be quite lengthy and that I will have to divide it up into portions, but I hope and pray that I will be able to get it out today (as I just had four more calls; with each call being of equal importance).   

It is an amazing fact that things always get quite busy whenever I am led to write about something that I know the Lord is leading me to. It is not a complaint, not at all. It is an observation, just as temptations always happen when I enter into a fast. Normally, I do not even mention it; however, much is going on now - not only on a personal level, but globally.   

First explosion goes off

My heart truly goes out to Bostonians who lost loved ones, as well as to those who were injured or present at the scene, after explosions occurred at the Boston Marathon on the celebrated Patriot’s Day that the race was held on. Apparently, over 27,000 people from around the world were in attendance. At the last report, 144 people were injured and three (3) were killed, including an eight year old boy.  

No doubt in my mind that the counterfeiter Satan (Lucifer) is into numbers, as well as human sacrifice. After all, he lived with the Creator of all things and watched closely. He knows the Creator’s use, purpose and meaning of numbers. Satan’s fury is evident, but his pride keeps him deceived about who will be the Victor (Sovereign, Living God) in the end. 

 

If the police were merely checking rooftops for suspects before the bombing, would there be backpacks, rifle bags, helmets, binoculars, camera and other paraphernalia?

There are rumblings circulating around the internet that a bomb squad (spotters) and bomb dogs (sniffers) were already at the scene (on a roof and at the lines of the race). It's all conjecture and speculation without proof to validate the statements, such as pictures. It is indeed hard when trust is gone.

Witnesses have reported hearing police state over a loud speaker [to participants of the race], not to worry (about the dogs or extra security), as it was just ‘a training exercise’. Bring forth the witnesses.

Second explosion goes off

Militarized Boston police

SWAT

Why is everyone looking up to the roof?

National Guard

Armed FBI agent and Special Operations police

Local 15 TV reports that one marathon runner, Ali Stevenson, University of Mobile’s Cross Country Coach, was near the finish line when the explosions began.  He had seen bomb sniffing dogs at both the start and finish lines. There's a witness...

Local15 released a short video (see link) of a telephone interview with Stevenson.  Meanwhile, President Obama states in a press release that he will “increase security around the United States.” Source: Post-Gazette  (Yes, security will indeed increase, as will tragic events.)

Meanwhile, the Secretary of Homeland Security states: “We encourage the public to be vigilant, and to listen to the direction from state and local officials.” (emphasis mine). 

The source for Sec. Janet Napolitano’s comment is at the end of the short video on the Local 15 TV news site (link above). For now, people are being encouraged by Napolitano to listen to authorities; (soon it shall be demanded).  

“Police also confirmed that there was a third explosion, at the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum. It was not immediately clear how much damage was done or whether it was related to the bombings at the marathon finish line.”   

This quote is from NY Post, which also reported on their website that a Saudi national, a student, was under guard as a suspect. As I write this, the 20 year old ‘suspect’ was apparently released and is no longer a suspect. Was that convenient profiling for the public because the Boston Police Commissioner stated there was no truth in the report?  

One does have to wonder though, if there were ‘sniffers’ (bomb dogs) that were on scene, why did they not sniff out the bombs?  Having seen countless pictures of the event, I did not see any dogs at the scene…just an observation. Did all the amateur and professional photographers miss them, or where were the dogs?   Even with the picture of the officials on the roof, there are no dogs seen.

One reporter at a press conference held shortly after the explosions made mention of drills that were taking place that very morning. Due to other voices interfering or overriding the voice of the reporter, I did not catch the website the reporter was quoting or referring to in the video. (link of this below)   

Question of reporter: … (website mentioned, unclear)…“they said that they were doing drills this morning for the exact same thing that happened (inaudible) Was you guys [sic] given any warning ahead of time of this taking place?”   

(It is transcribed correctly, as you can hear in the video, the expression ‘was you guys’ is definitely a Boston (and New York etc.) way of talking.  Some Canadians have been known to speak the same way, particularly the ‘you guys’ part.) I used to get in trouble for saying it when I was a kid growing up (improper English lol). 

Personally, I found it interesting that the police commissioner did not deny the drills, which is why the person who uploaded the video of the press conference titled it the way he did. Perhaps the comment just went over the commissioner’s head, but he did avoid the reporter’s statement about the drills that morning, focusing only upon the question asked at the end.   

Edward Davis (Boston Police Commissioner) stated that ‘there was no specific intelligence that this was going to happen’ (denies foreknowledge of incident). He also states that no suspect (Saudi national) was arrested at all and that the information was not true.  

Wall Street Journal

"WASHINGTON–President Barack Obama said Tuesday that the bombings at the Boston Marathon were an act of terrorism, though he added that authorities still do not know the identity or motive of the perpetrators."

NY Times posted a video with Obama in a press conference today. President Obama delivered his press release with his usual charisma and eloquent manner. He is most certainly convincing with his words. 

Obama:  "I have directed my administration to take appropriate security measures to protect the American people."  

Further on, he urges people:  "This is a good time to remember we all have a part to play in warning authorities. If you see something suspicious, speak up!"  

I think we all know that encouraging people to spy on neighbors, and even for children to turn in parents, if they see 'something suspicious' is not new.  That message has been pounded into the minds of people for many years.  

Even in Canada, I remember my children telling me that their principal spoke in an assembly of students and teachers, to tell 'someone at school' (teacher, counselor, principal) if you have problems with your parents at home.   

Several hours ago, Obama and his administration met in the Oval office. In the photo, seated from left to right are:

Janet Napolitano -- Homeland Security Secretary 

Tony Blinken -- Deputy National Security Adviser 

Jake Sullivan -- National Security Adviser to the Vice President 

Eric Holder -- Attorney General 

Lisa Monaco -- Assistant to President of Homeland Security / Counterterrorism

Denis McDonough -- Chief of Staff 

Robert Mueller  -- FBI Director 

“Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said Tuesday that there was “no current indication” that the Boston Marathon bombings were part of a broader plot, but declared that her agency would keep “enhanced security measures” in place at transportation hubs just in case.   

Napolitano’s statement came after she took part in an Oval Office meeting with President Barack Obama and top national security aides to discuss the investigation of, and response to, the attacks.  

“While there is no current indication to suggest that the events in Boston are indicative of a broader plot, out of an abundance of caution, DHS continues to keep in place enhanced security measures at transportation hubs, utilizing measures both seen and unseen,” Napolitano said.” Source: VideoGameKings   

Enhanced security measures (the grip tightens), both seen and unseen. It really will not take much more for martial law to be enforced. It is becoming so obvious. I was sent a link to a video on Facebook (because I am not on FB). When I watched it, I was quite skeptical, but the original video is on Youtube. The poster on Facebook had taken a portion of an ABC News video and pointed out something.   

On the bottom right of the screen was blood and what looked like a body part. One officer moves past the spot and suddenly the blood and body part are gone and what looks like a metal object (undetectable) is in its place. The person who posted the video on Facebook did not mess with the video. All he did was put the video on a large screen and focus in on the one scene.  Facebook video    

blood and body part or?

officer walks past body part

                       

as walking past, words change from
ABC to just NEWS

As you watch the video on Facebook (which is 36 seconds), I noticed a couple of other things.  The focus is on the blood or 'body part' (unidentified) and how it changes to another unidentified object, either metal or plastic, as pointed out by the man who posted the video on FB.

Here is what I noticed. If you pay close attention, you will see the letters ABC to the right of the black bar. As the man walks by, the letters seem to turn, a bright light flashes and the letters NEWS replace ABC.  Also, the black bar makes a jump, shortens, then returns to previous length. 

 

ABC (station letters) and body part

NEWS (the word after ABC) and unidentified object

Proof that the FB poster did not mess with the video is proven when you watch the ABC News video on Youtube and stop it at 23 seconds and again at 1:43 (same scene that the news media played twice for whatever reason).   

You will see that it is indeed on the original news report. Okay, let's put aside conjecture/speculation. It IS quite possible that the TV station staff in the newsroom edited the clip because that is a real possibility. However, if the one scene was edited, so as not to offend viewers, why repeat the same scene a little over one minute later? If it was going to be edited once, it would make sense to cut the scene again to prevent it from playing twice.   

Yes, I realize it sounds conspiratorial, but something like that makes me wonder if the intent is to purposely provoke conspiracy theorists, or was it a job done in haste and thus overlooked by a digital editor scurrying to meet a deadline? 

Some people do believe that ABC simply edited the clip, so as not to offend viewers with a gory scene.  If that was the case, why not cut out all the ‘blood’ scenes?  Would it not be just as quick to delete a scene from a digital film, instead of editing the one area and inserting another object?   

Or can green or blue screening cover up an area and substitute something else in its place quicker? Thanks to the sister who gave me a heads up with the Facebook video. It seems strange to me how selective the media is in what they reveal. For example, there was no hesitancy showing the graphic casualties of the Oklahoma City bombing or the Columbine shooting.  

The news media certainly did not consider viewer sensitivity with the picture below either - but then again, it was not in America, was it? It was just - reported, as is...

Jamaat-e-Islami activists (student wing of the organization called Bangladesh Islami Chhatra Shibir) smashed bricks over the head of Jahangir Alam, an officer in Rajshara City in Western Bangladesh.

It is so soon after the Sandy Hook incident that we really should be sitting up and paying attention, taking all things to the Lord. I will not speculate on this event, but have presented what I came across in my search, after a friend initially emailed me about the Boston explosions. In-between the flurry of activity I am experiencing, much prayer has taken place on my part about the article that I have been working on the past few days. My heart and desire is that the very Spirit of Father is evident in what I present. Otherwise, they are mere words.  

My heart is to present truth, to share what I am led to share and that ultimately, the Lord alone is glorified through it all.  I leave this portion of my article (which was completely unintended when I began this piece on Saturday, three days ago), with a reminder that no matter what is happening here in America (and indeed the entire world) we know that the Lord is fully in control.   

It is no surprise that many unbelievers who are watching global events are expecting WWIII and civil war, as well as an economic collapse. As alert believers, we all are aware of what is going on also, as well as the work that is going on within the Body of Christ.  

Even the utility foreman (who came here because the electric company has been chopping down trees that threaten overhead electrical wires and cables on the property I rent) mentioned in passing how he is ready for a civil war…and he is a believer in Christ Jesus. May the Lord help us all!   

The Father has been purifying us, bringing dross to the surface, skimming it off (painful process at times), yet it is for our good – and more importantly, for His glory! He has been preparing us in every way for what is fast approaching. Boston, North Korea, China, Japan, Russia, United States, Iran, Syria, Israel, Palestine, Cyprus, France, Germany, India, UK, (so many other nations), the economy – the entire globe is in chaos, anger and rebellion.  All the people all over the world are hurting and angry.

Onward it goes, demanding our attention. It is a time to be in prayer, in intercession, seeking the will of the Father. It is so important to be in His will, now more than ever. Yes, we should always be in the will of the Lord, but [there are] areas that are not purified yet [in all of us] need addressing and the precious Lord is making us all aware of our spots and blemishes and our weaknesses, but also our strengths. (He always gives hope or the solution after a warning or rebuke - He's a perfect Father!)

We cannot let the enemy call defeat upon us. We must rise up in faith, pressing in to the King and Lord. Keep on the full armor of God. Through Christ, we have power to tread on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy [Lk 10:19]. The Lord is more than ready to help us, as we confess all to Him and acknowledge our dependency on Him. He has always wanted to be involved in every detail of our lives, but how often do we invite Him to share every part of our lives? 

Remember, He created us for His good pleasure and His glory.  He is pleased to be involved…we just have to let go and allow Him His proper place in our lives. No fear, but quiet confidence that He will help us. Walking by faith is paramount, for without faith it is impossible to please Him. He is more than willing and able – He is doing a good and quick work. Let us keep pressing in, focused on the Lord and obedient to His leading.  

He is Faithful and True. That is a reality in we can be confident.   

But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.  [Heb 11:6]   

Join me as I now move on to the intended article that I began days ago.  May the Lord be ever-present in this place - at this time.   

At the Edge of a Dangerous Precipice  

Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition [2Thes 2:3]   

It is understood that ‘precipice’ means an overhanging or a very steep rocky cliff, chasm (deep fissure) or abyss. Instinctively, we know it means that if we are at a precipice, we are at the brink of a dangerous situation, which could lead to disaster. To fall over the precipice is precisely falling away from a safe place and into one of great peril, causing us harm or injury; perhaps, even death. Therefore, it is with great intent and purpose that I selected the title of this entry in my writings.  

I am only one voice sounding over the waters (and Lord knows), we can almost drown in the sea of voices today; however, I must do as I am led.  What I am about to express will not be a popular message. 

There may be those who do not agree or even be offended.  Offense is not my intent, as I am not a contentious person by nature (to the Creator’s glory). Some might disagree, since I am not politically correct in my expressing verbally. However, even in my writing, there are those who may take what I say in such a way. We are to take all things (all) to the Lord and yes, that definitely includes what I write as well. I am not infallible, but I dare walk on the side of caution, determined to be alert.  

Be that as it may, I would like to share where I stand on certain matters. If I am wrong, the Lord will show me (or emails may). Yet, the Lord has always been faithful to do so; and even if it means humility, I would rather be humbly corrected than proudly wrong. The Holy Spirit actually gave me that saying...after He corrected me, of course.

The words He wanted me to get down in my heart were:

I would rather walk in the humility of correction than in the pride of error. (the glory to God alone)

Time is just so short and truly the Body of Christ has need of each other, so let us uphold (support) each other in prayer.  Lord knows that we all need prayer (self included), in these dark and turbulent days of unexpected happenings.  

In the Silence  

I have had some emails that expressed a similar question or comment. In paraphrasing, it was asserted that the breakdown on current events was appreciated. For some, it connected dots and to others, it gave a more panoramic view. However, a handful of readers wanted ‘a word from the Lord’.  Each expressed it differently, but basically, that was the gist of the messages. 

In the past five weeks, I had gone through an extremely silent time with the Lord. He has been silent before and I never like it, but this time, it was greatly troubling to me, as we are in a serious time slot in these last of the last days. I only remember once in my entire walk with the Lord (now eight years) where I had a personal "word" for someone, but I was 'afraid' to give it.

A couple came and had dinner with me one time, when I lived out in the country. I was so excited to have company. At the end of dinner, they asked me if I had a word from the Lord for them. I was shocked...I waited a moment or so, but then I had to tell them that I cannot turn a prophetic word "off and on". If I even get a prophetic word, it's in God's hands to give, not in mine to take. 

Sadly, they never came to see me again, and I did love them both - but that is what some churches taught - that we can just open our mouth and prophecy will spill out. No! that is not how God operates or moves, not with me, anyway (who am I to say what God will and will not do, so I have to say so right here).

Back to the article and this time period - I searched my heart, continued to pray, asking more than once if I had done something that Father was upset with, praying that He would please show me. Silence!  This time was the longest time that Father had remained silent (since first committing to the Lord) that I could remember. As stated, although I continued to pray, the silence felt heavy upon me. I would tell myself that He was with me, but as each day passed, I was beginning to wonder if I was experiencing ‘Ichabod’.  (The father of lies, Satan, never stops trying to toss in seeds of doubt in the minds of people.)

After all, it was at Passover last year that the Lord had me cut my hair.  See Jeremiah 7:25-31, or you can read about it here:  O Jerusalem, O America  (It has now grown back, amazingly fast – glory to the Lord.  It is His doing.) 

In 1 Samuel 4:21, the word Ichabod first appears when Phineas’ wife, who was pregnant, overheard that her father-in-law and her husband were dead, and that the ark of God had been taken.  She began to travail and go into contractions (in pains, the Bible says).   

When the child was born, she called him Ichabod, which scholars agreed meant ‘the glory of God has departed [from Israel]’.  Some translators say ‘without honor’.  When the Lord had me cut my hair, I understood that He was saying that His glory had departed from America. A few days passed and I was to burn the hair that I had cut off. I delayed in doing so, as I was pained in my heart and grieved within my soul for the United States… beyond words. I burned red ant hills as I delayed.  

It is very possible that it was the Holy Spirit moving on me to delay, indicative of the Lord Himself delaying events, likely in answer to the many prayers of His people. We have not been [and are not] ready for what is coming [in the world] – nor ready for the second coming of our King and Lord. 

However, I did realized the Lord was still with me, despite His silence, but I missed His voice. He is my first love. How can I express that I missed the Lord, even though I know He is with me? It is like when a loved one goes on a long trip. We miss them but we know they are with us in spirit. 

A thought occurred that it was ‘Ichabod’ for me.  Yet, the thought left so quickly, without my being aware of dispelling it that I am convinced the Holy Spirit rebuked the thought. Yet, why was Father so silent? Over the course of five weeks, I would say that I heard the Lord (not audibly) perhaps four, maybe five times.  Three of those times, I posted what the Lord gave me. The first two messages came around the one week mark of silence, so the full impact of Father’s silence had not hit me yet.  

The third message I posted came another three weeks and four days (almost four weeks – April 9) after that.  Only once during that four weeks did the Lord give me a personal message, which I did not present publicly. The posts I did present were: “A Trial like Never Before”; “Make Your Calling and Election Sure” and “Obey That All May be Well with You”.

I will not mince words or use euphemisms. The silence felt so heavy this time that I felt lost, truly lost and incomplete. Nothing means anything without the Lord. Even reading the Bible was somewhat difficult, as my mind would drift to thoughts of the Lord and much pondering (soul-searching). What I was clearly understanding was that ‘without Him, I am nothing’.  I have heard people make that remark with such casual tones that it was nearly the same as hearing, ‘Looks like rain today.’ 

Unfortunately, there are many truths that have become catch phrases or buzz words, as though it is the expected, proper and ‘holy’ thing to say amongst believers. Although I realized that I am dependent of the Lord, it was really driven home during that time period of silence – a most agonizing reminder.    

I wonder - do we really understand those words when they are expressed? Well, I was learning firsthand the depth of truth in that simple statement. At first, I obviously noticed His silence, while at the same time being aware that He had been silent before.  

It had been said after a previous time of quiet (through a fellow believer) - The Lord had asked her once: “Will you still trust Me even in My silence?” His question through her (my friend) was like a light going on and I understood the purpose of that particular period of silence.  

 

The time was ticking by and the searching of my heart and repenting of thought, word or deed continually came forth. I was even becoming regretful for things which needed no regret at all, just to be sure that I left no stone unturned.  

Oftentimes, I could be found lying in bed weeping my heart out.  In that emotional, but sincere state, I was asking the Lord to take me home. What would life even mean without the Lord?  How would I know what to do without His direction? Without Him, what was the purpose of life? If God the Creator and Father was not with me as I worked or wrote, nothing I could say would mean anything at all - not in a way that could pierce the heart for eternal value. How could I speak anything of any significance without Him? What good is the letter of a word without His Spirit? [...] the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. [2Cor 3:6]

I continued on doing personal inventory, inviting the very Spirit of the Father to reveal anything hidden. I told Him that I would rather have never been born at all, if it meant life without Him. I meant it…I repeated, more than once that nothing means anything without my Creator, Savior, King, Lord! Had I inadvertently turned from Him somehow? Had I been too tired, too busy in some area? If I had, would I not know it? Was He displeased about something?  Ah, the torment of doubts racing...

The questions, soul-searching and grieving seemed nonstop. I realized that many of the thoughts were stemming from fear and doubt within myself, so I had to cast them down. Other times, it was the enemy and I would rebuke Him in the name above all names, Jesus the Christ. Finally, the Lord did speak, after about three weeks of silence, which I considered to be a personal message; therefore, I did not post it.  

Perhaps I was ‘hoarding’ the word for myself – it did not seem to be for anyone else, but knowing that the Lord still feeds the multitudes, I will post some of it now. I say ‘some’ because a small portion of it definitely does pertain to my personal life.  

God Speaks   

It was March 29, three weeks and a day of silence had passed, with the exception of the two messages that I posted on March 13 and 15.  Truly, each day seemed like a week, so if I have sounded mixed up, it is because I felt so lost in not hearing from my first love... 

“Fear not.  I AM here. There is still hope. My silence is observation – I see you flounder as a fish without water when I AM silent at length. Why fear you My silence? I AM not as man.  

My silence does not mean anger. I have come to give you hope.  Hear Me speak through My word as you read. Hear Me speak through others, but bring all things to Me. Remember to try the spirit to see if it is of Me, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.   

This is indeed a time of great activity on the part of all those on the dark side. This is indeed a time of spiritual attacks and a time for spiritual warfare. When the enemy calls a defeat, stand on My word. Keep on the full armor. Look to Me for I AM the Lord of the battle.   

You do well to follow My instructions carefully for it is your only way to victory [obedience]. Now I have encouraged you further, for I AM with you, even in silence. You must learn to trust Me, even when My quietness surrounds you. Fast and pray. I AM leading you.” 

I added [obedience] because that was the understanding that came with the statement. After that, His silence again enveloped me.  He had said, “I see you flounder as a fish without water when I AM silent at length.”  Father sure worded it better than me.  

I said I felt lost without Him, but by His saying ‘flounder as a fish without water’ was spot on. A fish out of water is suffocating, dying, helpless, without strength, fighting for its very existence, desperately trying to get back to the ‘water’ that sustains it.  

Yes, that expresses how I felt more adequately for sure. The Lord is the ‘living water’ that sustains me. A friend and sister in Christ had conversed with me by phone during that time period of silence, informing me that the Lord had once told her that “He speaks even in the silence”.  Again, the Lord was right.  

Her comment revealed to me that all of God’s people go through times of silence.  She did not know that she had confirmed the word of the Lord when she shared that with me. She also did not know how her sharing about His silence with her, coupled with what the Lord had said to her truly did minister to me.  I felt strengthened and had restored hope, even though I knew these things from past experiences. See how we all have need of each other? That is a perfect example.   

That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.  

[1Cor 12:25, 26]   

I must admit once again that even though I knew He was with me, I missed hearing from Him.  Had I unknowingly taken the fact that He speaks to His people for granted? There were times that I begged Him to speak to me, with hot tears rolling down My cheeks.  I needed my constant companion to guide me.  

You are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for You have created all things, and for Your pleasure they are and were created. [Rev 4:11]   

Have you ever had someone close to you give you the silent treatment – a close friend, spouse, child or relative? It is frustrating when one side wants to talk and the other side will not say a word. Yet, the Lord said that He was not as man; that His silence did not (in this case) mean anger (displeasure).  When people give us the silent treatment (cold shoulder), it is most often (but not always) due to anger or offense.   

Walk Humbly with Me   

Last week (not many days ago), I had to go out to take care of some business. The young woman who served me had ‘attitude’.  Did I stay calm and walk in love and understanding? Did I do justly, love mercy and walk humbly before my God? No, instead my flesh rose up. I said something to her that was rude, using a word I should not have used. No, it was not a cuss word, nor a word that was (shall I say) gender specific, but it was a rude word.

   

Naturally, she did not want to serve me after that, so I called for the manager, who did serve me. Now, it took twenty minutes for the service to be complete, as it was purposely slow, which was the deserved consequence of my behavior. I had seen the manager speak with the young woman privately and knew that the manager was on her side, yet being a professional, the manager agreed to serve the ‘rude’ customer. It turned out that the manager’s daughter (who also worked at the store) and the cashier with ‘attitude’ were close friends.   

Even as I was conducting business, the disappointment I felt at my own behavior was heavy upon my soul. In my heart, I determined that I would not leave that store, without making a sincere effort to undo any damage I may have done. Whether I was justified in my reaction because the woman had ‘attitude’ (first) is far from the point. I am a child of the Creator of all things, the heavenly King and Lord.  

How could I bring shame to His name and justify it at all? I could not because as His child, I knew better. That was the point! Before I left the store, I spoke with the young woman.  The Holy Spirit had moved upon me (without a word), but brought to my remembrance that we are to strive to be peacemakers. I knew that to establish any peace and order again, I had to humble myself, admit my wrong (two wrongs does not make one right) and apologize to her.   

I had acted like the proverbial bull in a china shop and there was no way I could clean up the mess with clumsy hooves like mine.  But in submitting to the Lord’s Spirit and in obedience to His word, I was to humble myself by confessing my fault. The Lord cleaned up the mess for me. I know that in His own way and time, He will deal with her also. That is between the Lord and her. The Holy Spirit strengthened me and gave me courage.

  

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.  The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. [Jam 5:16]   

The spiritual truth in the above scripture is that pride must be laid down, dying to self, in confessing your fault to another.  Prayer could come later, as I was not in any position to know if she was a believer or not, nor was it the proper time or place.  Other customers had arrived. Whether she would accept my apology or not was something that I had to leave in the Lord’s hands. Humility had to replace any pride or justification, as I confessed that I was out of line (wrong) in what I said and apologized to her.

Obedience in the little things…I am learning much, yes, but I am also going through ‘refresher courses’ (reminders) for the things already learned. We all need reminders and we can most certainly expect to be tested on the things we learn, with real-life situations. However, as stated before, not everything in life is a test. We are not programmed robots and our flesh will constantly fight us; flesh can quickly rise up, if we do not guard our hearts and tongues (even for a moment).   

When the Bible says that ‘a soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger’, it is absolute truth!  That is found in Proverbs 15:1.  I watched that word come alive in animated form and that young woman and I were the animation.   

As I obeyed the Lord’s leading and spoke in true humility, I could see the hardness upon the young woman dissolve away. When I departed, we were on friendly terms. The young woman was smiling, saying ‘it’s okay’ (her way of forgiving when I asked).  The Lord had re-established order and peace in obedience to His word. Once I was home, I checked my emails, where some of the messages (as previously indicated) inquired about a ‘word from the Lord’ (did I have one)?  There was also an email that said nothing, but contained one scripture. 

He that keeps his mouth keeps his life: but he that opens wide his lips (speaks rashly) shall have destruction.  [Prov 13:3] 

The timing of the one scripture verse was impeccable and no happenstance. I shut down my laptop and once again grieved at my failure, aware of my moment of hypocrisy in all its ugliness.  

Disappointment (in myself) weighed heavy upon me and I needed to shake it off. My heart ached because one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is self-control, which I had failed to do in the above incident.  

How often had I posted words from the Lord, where often He speaks of dying to self and walking in love?  I exhort and encourage others that we must lay it all down for the Lord…then that day happened and I felt like ‘hypocrite’ was stamped on my forehead.  

I morphed from being a bull in a china shop into a donkey, complete with tail and ears. Not everything that happens is a test necessarily, but things that happen (in and of itself) will reveal to us where we stand, or what impurities still remain in us that have to be purged. I am still being purged, purified. If it was a test, I failed in one respect (in reacting negatively or in the flesh, as it is called), yet on the other hand, I suppose I passed, as I worked to right the wrong on my part (I could not right her wrong) and peace was established again.  

I have learned that even in His silence, the Lord is with me, leading me in the way that I should go. He has taught me these things through His word, by His Spirit, through others and through experiences. Therefore, the successful outcome is to the glory of the Creator, the Lord alone. I prayed for the woman and repented before the Lord for acting hypocritically and walking in the flesh.  

I had been ashamed of myself and grieved. The rude singular word I had used is not a word that I normally use in my vocabulary. In fact, I personally dislike the word and avoid it.  

Therefore, I wondered if in that moment, I had not found myself in the same condition or state that the apostle Peter found himself in – which allows Satan to speak through a vessel, due to the fallen and sinful nature of man.  

Whether it was flesh or whether it was the enemy, it was wrong.  It came through my mouth, as I did not stop it; therefore, I am responsible. I prayed that the Lord would take the word out of the atmosphere and render it null and void in its power because it is written that the power of life and death are in the tongue, and those who love it will eat the fruit thereof.  [Prov 18:21]  

I prayed that the Holy Spirit would burn it up to such a degree that not even the ashes of it remained. Once again, I learned another lesson the hard way. I learned or rather, I was reminded of how very easy it is to walk in the flesh. More and more, I come to understand what it means to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. Flesh does indeed war against the spirit and the spirit wars against the flesh.  

I shared with another friend and brother in Christ that a majority of people quote the scripture, “There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus”, but rarely is the rest of the scripture quoted. It is very important that the verse is quoted in its entirety because it makes a big difference. Context is important. 

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, (this is where most people leave off, which is quoted in a valiant attempt to immediately dismiss feelings of guilt or remorse for the believer). However, to keep it in context, the rest of the scripture says who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. [Rom 8:1] It is one thing to say there is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, which in itself leads one to believe that it must be Satan if we feel condemned (and truly Satan does condemn us, but our own good conscience convicts).  

It is yet another statement entirely when the complete verse is spoken. Most often, when only the first part of the scripture is spoken, believers go around rebuking Satan, if their own heart or someone else convicts them or calls their words or deeds into account. Satan condemns, but the Holy Spirit convicts. Big diff!

For example, if I operated by only the first part of the scripture, why should I confess my fault to anyone? After all, I am in Christ and He is in me; therefore, there is now no condemnation. But hold on! I walked after the flesh, not after the Spirit; therefore, I am under  conviction, or should be, unless I do not tremble at the word of God. Our heart will convict us, as a true child of God, if we act or react as the unsaved, the unbeliever acts.  

(NOTE: Revised after the original writing, changing "condemned" to "convicted" when I myself learned the difference - BP)

If we repent, it results in immediate forgiveness if and when we confess our sin, doing all to turn away from such things. I understand the reason why believers separate the two. Only the conviction of the Holy Spirit leads us to repentance, whereas condemnation only leads us to more sin, as denial or justifying our sin takes place. 

Condemnation breeds guilt and shame, and will endanger us if we form a root of bitterness. It will then keep us miserable because it keeps us living in the past, with unforgiveness being the magnet that draws us back again and again. 

Without acknowledging sin and repenting, we will be kept in bondage which will hinder our walk. Satan’s tormentors will have a field day, until we become numb to the fact that we had ever done any wrong at all. The danger of that is that we become stiff-necked and hardhearted - unforgiveness will take a callous hold of our heart. Indirectly, it calls God a liar.   

The Bible says that when we repent and confess our sins, the Lord is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins. Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ, as long as we walk by the Spirit, in order to overcome our fleshly nature. Conviction opposes condemnation, in that conviction brings a brokenness, a contrite heart that will humble itself before God. When we take it to the Lord in genuine humility, we will not only receive forgiveness but the peace that passes all understanding. His love is that perfectly overwhelming and true. 

So yes, it is important to keep the entire verse intact.   

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.  Amen!   

Yet another blemish is removed from me…how many more spots and blemishes are there hidden? Do I dare to find out? Yes, deep down I do desire to find out, whether I like it or not. Is there any hope to becoming purified? Yes, the Lord has decreed that He will purify us, as we yield to Him and bring our flesh into submission to Him– dying to ‘self’. O may the work be a quick work, for my sake, but for His glory! 

After I had repented, the Lord spoke to Me! Hallelujah – I had even been off the computer two days, spending time in reflection, soul-searching and prayer (and likely some self-pity). It was five weeks to the day that the Lord had been silent (minus the few times I had mentioned previously).  On the day His silence ended (April 11), my soul soared when the Lord spoke to me.  

It was as if the dark clouds burst and rain poured down upon me, allowing His light and glory to shine forth.  He refreshed my soul.  I wrote His words down and posted them, which He wisely led me to call “Walk Humbly with Me”.  

Now perhaps people understand that when I give a message publicly, there is no ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude.  Perish the thought!  Be assured; be very confident that the ‘messenger’ receives the ‘message’ first and is paying close attention as well.   

Even every one that is called by My name: for I have created him for My glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him

[Is 43:7]  

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: [1Pet 5:6] 

(The rest of this is lengthy and will be posted soon) 

for His glory alone  

Bonita                        dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com