Behold! The God of Glory Thunders!

Behold! The God of Glory Thunders!

April 20, 2012 – [4.20.2012] – 6:11 am

The voice of the LORD (Yhwh) is upon the waters: the GOD of GLORY thunders: the Lord is upon many waters. [Ps 29:3]

For God speaks once, yea twice, yet man perceives it not. [Job 33:14]

As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and REPENT! [Rev 3:19]

Behold the whirlwind of the Lord goes forth with fury, a continuing whirlwind: it shall fall with pain upon the head of the wicked.  The fierce anger of the Lord shall not return, until He has done it, and until He has performed the intents of His heart: in the LATTER DAYS YE SHALL CONSIDER IT. [Jer 30:23, 24]

Again He Says, Prepare Your Hearts

Tell My people once again to prepare; tell them to prepare their hearts, prepare by abiding in Me; prepare, for redemption draws nigh.  I AM He who will instruct you in the way you should go.  I AM He who directs your steps. 

How soon they forget My words!  Many continue on their way, yet there are those who are paying close attention. These are those whom I will protect and use mightily in the turbulent times.  The time now is upon the people in this land, yea and as I have spoken, upon all the lands, all nations, all people, all tongues of the earth.  They underestimate My power!

He cast upon them the fierceness of His anger, wrath, and indignation, and trouble, by sending evil angels among them. [Ps 78:49]

Great shall be the trouble, for I am He that shall trouble the elements of the earth, the stars of the heavens, that great host which I created, yea, I shall trouble them and bring forth destruction, great destruction, upon the wickedness of this earth.  The battle cry has sounded; yea, I call forth this destruction, so shall it be.  Are you listening to My words now?  I speak once, yea twice, but man perceives it not. I shall deliver the people to trouble and that which they see with their eyes will astonish them; they shall hiss before Me through clenched teeth, when they witness My wrath and fury against them.

A sound of battle is in the land, and of great destruction.   

[Jer 50:22]

Wherefore the wrath of the LORD was upon Judah and Jerusalem, and He has delivered them to trouble, to astonishment, and to hissing, as ye see with your eyes. [2Chron 29:8]

But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.  [2Pet 3:10]

I will send armies of the wicked to your lands that shall greatly vex you!  Will you then turn to Me in the day of your trouble?  I will hear you if you cry out to Me, and I will yet be merciful, for I have always loved My creation.  Yea, I will send those to you who will help you in your great distress, who will bring you forth out of danger by My Spirit, by My power, by My hand.  So great is the corruption; so great is the evil, greater than Sodom and Gomorrah, great as in the days of Noe, so wicked has this generation become!  Turn again, repent and I shall show forth great mercy for I AM good and My mercy endures forever!

Therefore You delivered them into the hand of their enemies, who vexed them: and in the time of their trouble, when they cried unto Thee, You heard them from heaven; and according to thy manifold mercies You gave them saviours, who saved them out of the hand of their enemies. [Neh 9:27]

O give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good; for His mercy endures forever. [1Chron16:34]

Earthquakes and Tsunamis

The depths of the seas shall be seen upon the lands.  The earth shall open wide her mouth and swallow up countless people, their beloved possessions and all of their substance.  

But if the LORD make a new thing, and the earth open her mouth, and swallow them up, with all that appertain unto them, and they go down quick into the pit; then ye shall understand that these men have provoked the LORD. 

And it came to pass, as he had made an end of speaking all these words, that the ground clave asunder (broke apart) that was under them:  [Num 16:30,31]

And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up together with Korah, when that company died, what time the fire devoured two hundred and fifty men: and they became a sign. [Num 26:10]

And what He did unto Dathan and Abiram, the sons of Eliab, the son of Reuben: how the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their households, and their tents, and all the substance that was in their possession, in the midst of all Israel: [Deu 11:6] 

And it shall come to pass, that he who flees from the noise of the fear shall fall into the pit; and he that comes up out of the midst of the pit shall be taken in the snare: for the windows from on high are open, and the foundations of the earth do shake. [Is 24:18]

Yet Another Call to Repentance

Repent, repent, repent!  This has been the message of My servants from the beginning, yet who will listen?  Have you wearied because of the mixture that has come from the adversary?  Why then do you not come to Me, to enquire of Me?  No, so many have not enquired of Me, and they hate any prophecy that speaks of evil.  Such are they who have itching ears!  Turn from your wicked ways, o people of the nations!   

Some of My own people, who call themselves by My name have turned from righteousness.  Turn, turn back to Me whilst there is still time!  I say that he who flees to avoid repentance shall fall into a pit and a snare!  You have been warned again and again. O that people would listen and turn away from all that is not of Me.  Seek Me and you shall know what is from Me.

Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.   

[1Jn 4:1]

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables. [2Tim 4:3,4]

Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord God (Yhwh): and not that he should return from his ways, and live?  But when the righteous turns away from his righteousness, and commits iniquity, and does according to all the abominations that the wicked man does, shall he live?

All his righteousness that he has done shall not be mentioned: in his trespass that he has trespassed, and in his sin that he has sinned, in them shall he die.  Yet you say, The way of the Lord is not equal.  Hear now, O house of Israel; Is not My way equal?  Are not your ways unequal?  [Ezek 18:23-25]

Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will you die, O house of Israel? [Ezek 33:11]

If My people, which are called by My name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. 

Now My eyes shall be open, and My ears attent (attentive) unto the prayer that is made in this place. [2Chron 7: 14, 15]

For man also knows not his time: as the fishes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in the snare; so are the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falls suddenly upon them.   

[Eccl 9:12]

Turn back to Me, for it is I who created the heavens, the earth and all that is contained within them.  How My heart has grieved within Me; how I have patiently sent messenger upon messenger to you, but you have turned and still turn deaf ears to their words, for their words did not satisfy your soul.  My judgment goes forth in My fury.   

Then shall you remember the words of My servants that I sent to you, for I shall bring it to your remembrance!  Shall you then turn to Me in repentance and godly sorrow, or shall you wait until the day of the Lord, which has been spoken of since ancient days?  In that day, I shall pour out My wrath upon all people and upon all the earth!

As the Wicked Kings of Old, So the Kings Today 

The kings today walk in the ways of the kings of old, as the pharaohs in the land of Egypt, as the wicked kings of Israel walked, so do the kings and princes that lead their countries today walk.  Behold, your own shall fight amongst you; one shall turn upon another and great shall be the trouble within your own borders.  This shall be in your land and upon your nation.  So great shall be the distress upon the nation, as its own people turn against their own king and princes; as My word goes forth, so shall it be.  Great destruction shall begin in the mighty nation (America), and to its allies (UK, Canada, Mexico, Israel, New Zealand, Australia, France, Poland), and shall spread to every nation throughout the earth.

Upon a Swift Cloud and Sudden Destruction

  
Yea, it shall be for this great nation as it was for the Egyptians, for as the Egyptians were in their wickedness, sinful ways and pride, so it is for this mighty nation.  You shall have war within; then shall it come from without.  Creation itself shall seem against you.  I shall speak and the earth will shake, open up and swallow that which I command it; the foundations of mountains shall fail them.  The mountains I command shall spew forth and great fires shall spread forth; the seas shall go past the boundaries that once held them.  

The Burden of America (Egypt) 

Will the people come to repentance?  Yea, multitudes shall come into the valley of decision and I shall be there.  Yet still, the hardhearted will stubbornly curse Me.  Therefore, as it is written, the heavens shall be scrolled back, and the stars shall fall.  The earth shall indeed reel to and fro as a drunkard and great shall be the distress upon all the earth.

It shall begin with the continuing whirlwinds.  Pay attention when the mighty nation turns upon itself.  Woe to those who will not turn back to Me, for I have called and called, yet the neck was stiff, the ears turned deaf and the people refused to see.

The burden of Egypt. Behold, the LORD rides upon a swift cloud, and shall come into Egypt: and the idols of Egypt shall be moved at His presence, and the heart of Egypt shall melt in the midst of it.

And I will set the Egyptians against the Egyptians: and they shall fight every one against his brother, and every one against his neighbour; city against city, and kingdom against kingdom.

And the spirit of Egypt shall fail in the midst thereof; and I will destroy the counsel thereof: and they shall seek to the idols, and to the charmers, and to them that have familiar spirits, and to the wizards. 

And the Egyptians will I give over into the hand of a cruel lord; and a fierce king shall rule over them, saith the Lord, the LORD of hosts. 

[Is 19:1-4]

The fishers also shall mourn, and all they that cast angle into the brooks shall lament, and they that spread nets upon the waters shall languish. [Is 19:8]

Surely the princes of Zoan are fools, the counsel of the wise counsellors of Pharaoh is become brutish: how say ye unto Pharaoh, I am the son of the wise, the son of ancient kings?

Where are they? where are thy wise men? and let them tell thee now, and let them know what the LORD of hosts has purposed upon Egypt.

 

The LORD has mingled a perverse spirit in the midst thereof: and they have caused Egypt to err in every work thereof, as a drunken man staggers in his vomit. 

Neither shall there be any work for Egypt, which the head or tail, branch or rush, may do.  [Is 19:11, 12; 14,15]

A brotherhood, a brotherhood from the East shall be against you.  They seek to destroy your nation, for great is their hatred; a bitter root is established in their hearts.  Yea, I shall send forth the evil armies until you call upon Me in your distress.  Then shall you pray:

Keep not Thou silence, O Yhwh: hold not Your peace, and be not still, O God.  For lo, Your enemies make a tumult: and they that hate You have lifted up the head.  They have taken crafty counsel against Your people, and consulted against Your hidden ones.

They have said, Come, and let us cut them off from being a nation; that the name of Israel (America) may be no more in remembrance. For they have consulted together with one consent: they are confederate against thee:

The tabernacles of Edom, and the Ishmaelites; of Moab, and the Hagarenes; Gebal, and Ammon, and Amalek; the Philistines with the inhabitants of Tyre; Assur also is joined with them: they have helped the children of Lot.  Selah [Ps 83: 1-8]

Hope in the Lord, O America (O Egypt)

In that day shall five cities in the land of Egypt speak the language of Canaan, and swear to the LORD of hosts; one shall be called, The city of destruction.

In that day shall there be an altar to the LORD in the midst of the land of Egypt, and a pillar at the border to the LORD.

And it shall be for a sign and for a witness unto the LORD of hosts in the land of Egypt: for they shall cry unto the LORD because of the oppressors, and He shall send them a saviour, and a great one, and he shall deliver them. [Is 19:18-20]

And the LORD shall smite Egypt: He shall smite and heal it: and they shall return even to the LORD, and He shall be entreated of them, and shall heal them. [Is 19:22]

All Nations Will be Under the Lord’s Judgment

Do not be lifted up, you oppressors of America (Egypt), for My hand shall be upon the nations, for all nations have turned from Me.  Great is the evil and corruption!

And before Him shall be gathered all nations: and He shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides His sheep from the goats:  [[Mat 25:32]

And it shall come to pass in that day, that I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem. [Zec 12:9]

And he said unto me, The waters which you saw, where the whore sits, are peoples, and multitudes, and nations, and tongues.  For all nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, and the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her (harlot of Babylon), and the merchants of the earth are waxed rich through the abundance of her delicacies. [Rev 17:15 and 18:3]

And out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should smite the nations: and He shall rule them with a rod of iron: and He treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.   

[Rev 19:15]

Yea, My anger is kindled.  Fire shall consume the earth; fire shall be upon the very foundations of the mountains.  Fire shall consume all, even to the lowest hell.  Hear My words, people of the nations!  Will you yet be proud and violent, and not set Me before you?  Will you join hands with each other and proudly seek to obstruct Me?  The pride in your heart is an abomination to Me, you rulers of the earth, all who are workers of iniquity.  You kings and princes that do oppress the people, shall you go unpunished?

For a fire is kindled in My anger, and shall burn unto the lowest hell, and shall consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of the mountains.  [Deu 32:22] 

And I will punish the world for their evil, and the wicked for their iniquity; and I will cause the arrogancy of the proud to cease, and will lay low the haughtiness of the terrible.  [Is 13:11]

For, lo, I begin to bring evil on the city which is called by My name, and should you be utterly unpunished?  Ye shall not be unpunished: for I will call for a sword upon all the inhabitants of the earth, saith the Lord of hosts.  [Jer 25:29]

For thus saith the Lord; Behold, they whose judgment was not to drink of the cup have assuredly drunken; and are you he that shall altogether go unpunished?  You shall not go unpunished, but you shall surely drink of it.  [Jer 49:12]

Fear Not, My People

Have I not told you all along that the same message shall go forth from the Head, for I AM the Word, the Word that is spoken shall prosper in the thing where I send it.  All that I have spoken shall be accomplished!  Great evil and sudden destruction approaches, hide in Me for I AM your strong tower, your refuge, an ever present help in trouble.  

Did I not cry out to Jerusalem?   Yea indeed, I said that I would have gathered them as a hen does her chicks, but they would not.  Yea, I would indeed gather the nations of the world unto Me, but they would not.

So shall My word be that goes forth out of My mouth: it shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. [Is 55:11]

Go ye, enquire of the Lord for me, and for the people, and for all Judah, concerning the words of this book that is found: for great is  the wrath of the Lord that is kindled against us, because our fathers have not hearkened unto the words of this book, to do according unto all that which is written concerning us. [2Kin 22:13]

Do not fear, My people.  My word is written upon the tablets of your heart.  Hold fast to My word.  Believe My word; think upon Psalm 91.  Trust in your God, for I AM He who abides in you, as you abide in Me.  Selah

The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.  For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion: in the secret of His tabernacle shall He hide me; He shall set me up upon a rock.  

You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.  [Ps 9:9; Ps 27:5; Ps 32:7]

But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: He is their strength in the time of trouble. [Ps 37:39] 

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.

He that believes on Him is not condemned: but he that believes not is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

For every one that does evil hates the light, neither comes to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. [Jn 3:16-20]

Abide in Me

Let that therefore abide in you, which ye have heard from the beginning. If that which ye have heard from the beginning shall remain in you, ye also shall continue in the Son, and in the Father.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in Me.

If a man abides not in Me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. [Jn 15:4, 6]

But whoso keeps His word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby we know that we are in Him. 

 He that says he abides in Him ought himself also so to walk, even as He walked. (Walk as Y’shua/Jesus walked) [1Jn 2: 5,6]

And now, little children, abide in Him; that, when He shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before Him at His coming. [1Jn 2:28]

For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the LORD (Yhvh) shall arise upon thee, and HIS GLORY shall be seen upon you.  [Is 60:2]

Hear ye, and give ear; be not proud: for the LORD has spoken [Jer 13:15]

for His glory

penned by

Bonita C Petroff      dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com 

Addendum: The Lord led me to remind readers of the messages He sent forth a week and a half (10 days) and a little over a week (9 days) ago.  Take all things to the Lord.  Do not fear, but please do not ignore what He is speaking through many voices.  Hear the heart of our Creator, the Great Spirit Chief!

O Jerusalem – O America (given on April 10, 2012)

By My Spirit  (given April 11, 2012)

First the Inside of the Cup - Part 11

First the Inside of the Cup - Part 11

April 19, 2012 - [4.19.2012] - 1:18 pm

This is a continuation of Part 10.  It is best to read this entire series in their proper order, so that the testimony is clearly understood.

 Tie a Yellow Ribbon

A few short weeks later, I went with W’s sister to visit him in jail.  We had to sign in and wait for his name to be called.  There was a thick glass partition between us with a telephone receiver on either side.  We spoke through the telephone, but W warned me that staff was likely listening in on our conversation.  He asked if I would wait for him until he got out, which he thought would be about 10 months, as he had already spent some time in.  He also said he would get a month or more off for good time.  When I asked what that was, he informed me that if he stayed out of trouble, the judicial system took time off of a sentence for good behavior.  I told him I would wait.  He was ecstatic.

I should have seen the telltale signs, but it was as if I was blind in every way.  At one point, he strongly suggested that I move.  He had heard that my apartment was in a dangerous neighborhood, filled with pimps, prostitutes and drug dealers.  He said he did not want to sit in jail worrying about me.  I protested, saying that no one ever bothered me and I did not see the types he spoke about.  He was adamant, saying he could not help me whilst he was in jail.  I felt guilty when he said that he would only be sitting in jail worrying, unable to help me.  He wanted me to quit my job and move to the town where his father lived, so that he would know I was safe.  He seemed like such a nice person, so genuine, so kind.  I was beginning to develop strong feelings for him.  I needed to be loved and he had said that he loved me.  I was torn about what to do.  I had a good job, making good money and the apartment was nice.  I had no trouble with neighbors.

It seems as if I entered a time in my life when I could not make any rational decisions.  It seemed that I had no one to counsel me.  I had learned a long time ago that I could not speak to my mother about anything very deep, as she did not want any more ‘drama’ in her life.  I decided to hand in my resignation at work, as W had said that there was a dairy plant in the town where his father lived and I could probably get a job there.  I had no foresight whatsoever in any of the moves that I was about to make.  Despite the warning I had once received from the supervisor, she strongly urged me to reconsider quitting, but I was adamant.  Again, she tried to urge me to take my time to consider the matter, but by then, I had decided that I would like a relationship with W, when he did come out of jail.

Before long, I was on a bus with my few belongings, heading to an industrial town 45 minutes from the outskirts of Toronto.  When I arrived, W’s father was happy, drunk happy.  W’s sister had decided that she would drive me, so that she could visit her father at the same time.  My left leg had been causing me some pain for about a week, so I decided to look in the phone book and find a doctor.  My appointment was for the next day.  S decided to stay overnight at her father’s, so she said she would drive me to the doctor’s.  The next thing I knew, I was being admitted into the local hospital with a suspected blood clot. 

Meet Charlie

The next day, I had to lie down on a cold x-ray table, while a needle was inserted into a vein in my foot.  The nurse apologized after several tries, stating that my veins were ‘movers’ and very difficult to hit.  Finally, a doctor came in and managed to insert the needle.  It was attached to an IV (intravenous) line, so that a dye could flow through my veins, via the line.  A tourniquet was placed on my leg so that the dye could be seen easier in the deep veins in the x-ray.   

The tightness of the tourniquet caused my leg to tremble, but I was told to keep it as still as possible.  The table they had me on became vertical with the pushing of a button.  The pressure my leg felt, with the tight tourniquet was surreal.  It felt like my leg was going to explode. Finally, the test was over and the tourniquet was released.  My leg throbbed, but the pain subsided.  I was told that I had DVT, deep venous thrombosis, with six blood clots all formed in my lower left leg.  This had been the leg that was traumatized with the bone-deep cut when I was six years old.

When a team of eight doctors and nurses came in to see me, I was told that it was because they had never seen DVT in a patient so young (23).  I was also told that six blood clots forming at once was a highly unusual occurrence.  Heparin was placed in the IV, with a warning to keep my leg elevated and limit my movements.  I was also advised to quit smoking.   Sadly, against medical advice, I would take escort ‘Charlie’ (my IV pole) with me to sneak off for a cigarette.   It was nearly two weeks before I was discharged from the hospital, with a prescription for Coumadin, which had to be renewed after one month and taken up to three months.  I was told that if I was on birth control pills (which I was not), I would have to quit.  I was urged again to quit smoking.

The dairy plant in town turned out to be a small company that was closing down, having been bought out by the very company that I had just left.  Not even a waitressing or cleaning job was available.  W’s father was a nice man, but he was constantly drunk.  When he was in that state, he was very difficult to understand, as his words became very slurred.  He was the father of seven children, three boys and four girls.  W had been the fourth child born, with a sister and two brothers born after him.  His parents had divorced almost seven years previously and W and his two brothers stayed with the father, whereas the four girls stayed with their mother.  Alcohol and abuse had ruined the family.

Within a week from being discharged from the hospital, I found a job as a machinist.  The one boss that hired me was very nice and took a liking to me.  He was willing to train me, as I had an excellent reference from the dairy plant, despite the one-time reprimand I had about tardiness.  I had been there just shy of two years.  The pay was a drastic cut from what I had been used to, but my final paycheck had been a good one because it included all my accumulated vacation pay. 

I found an inexpensive one bedroom basement apartment that was about 10 minutes by bus to the machine shop.  W had lost his good time because of fights with other inmates, but he was coming out soon.  We had agreed to cohabitate.  I was actually going to have someone in my life who loved me and for the first time since I could remember, I was happy, looking forward to his release from jail.

Just as at the dairy plant, I had weekends and holidays off at the machine shop also.  I learned how to operate a drill press, turret lathe, horizontal mill and vertical mill, working with steel, aluminum and brass.  It was steady, hot, loud work, but I liked it because we all worked on our own.  The bosses would come around at times to measure parts for accuracy, but outside of the occasional rush jobs, the work was pressure-free.  It was a good job and once again, most of us were under 30 years of age.  I had been there about three months, when W got out of jail.

For awhile after his release, things went well and I decided that I had fallen in love, but I had actually fallen in lust.  When W had been working for about a month, he wanted to take a bus to the town where his father lived.  He promised we would return the same night because I had some things to do at home before getting back to work.  Since we were only supposed to be going for a few hours to visit, I chose to wear a tasteful black dress and high heels.  

Everything went fine at first, but when it came to the evening, I told W that we should be going soon, as there were only two more buses heading back to the city that night.  He ignored me, so I waited awhile as he and his father continued drinking and talking.  Then I told him the last bus was leaving in 15 minutes and we had to hurry so we could catch it.  Before I knew it, I had a punch to the mouth.  Shock swept over me.  What had I said wrong?  I guess I verbalized the question because he jumped up and started hitting me.  I covered my face and took off, but there was nowhere to run.

W pulled me back, ripping the shoulder of my dress.  He also ripped the gold necklace and cross that he had bought me as a gift from my neck.  I wasn’t helping I suppose when I told him to leave me alone.  He hit me a few more times in the head and then went back to sit by his father.  I could not believe it when I heard his father laughing and saying, ‘You gotta keep ‘em in their place!’ and he laughed more.  I stayed by myself, sitting in the kitchen, barely believing what had just happened, all because I had mentioned the bus schedule.   The laughter of his father rang in my ears and my mind filled with confusion.

The next morning, we were sitting on a curb, waiting for a bus.  It was a Sunday and the town was quiet, with very little traffic.  A police car drove by and W was nervous.  He was on probation.  If he got in trouble within a 3 month period after his release, he would go back to jail.  When we saw the police car make a U-turn, W started asking me not to say anything, saying he was sorry, that he was drunk and stupid, that he loved me and that he would never touch me again, if only I would not say anything.  

I was still in a state of confusion, but also the demons were reminding me of my past.  How could I possibly turn him in, when I was a worse person than he was?  A female officer exited the car.  I had tried to make myself as presentable as possible for the bus trip back home, not wanting strangers to know that I had made a man hit me.  I had no makeup, so I could not cover up the cut above my lip or the scratches on my shoulder.  I had made some tucks to camouflage the rip in my dress.  The officer had a quick eye and sized things up fairly quickly.  She asked me if I was alright.  I nodded.  

She looked at W, then back at me and repeated her question.  Again, I nodded.  She then said, ‘If there is anything you would like to tell me, now is the time to do it.’  She knew.  I knew that she knew that W had been violent towards me.  ‘Is there anything you want to tell me?’  She was professional and wise.  She knew that she could not make any statements that were suggestive or accusatory, or anything that would lead me on.  I thought of my past, my new-found ‘love’ and W having to spend more time in jail.  

I assured her everything was fine, thanking her for her concern.  The officer paused a moment, then looked at W and said, ‘I trust that you will keep the peace.’  ‘No problem, officer’, he politely stated. She handed me a card, suggesting I call her at that number if I needed to.  Then, she got back into her police cruiser.  She paused for a few more moments before driving away.  The days were to come where I would wish that I had said something to her.

W gave me a hug, thanking me for not saying anything.  Shortly afterwards, the bus came and we went home.  About a week later, the landlord came down asking for the rent, which W said he had paid three weeks ago.  He had not paid.  The landlord had told him that if he did not pay in two weeks, we would have to leave. He had given W a written notice, but W had thrown it out.  The landlord had a copy, which W had signed to pacify the landlord.  He even gave us an extra week, but I had no knowledge of what had transpired between the two of them.

The landlord said that if we were not out by the next night, he would call the police.  The place had been furnished, so all we had was our clothing and a few odds and ends.  That day at work, I went to talk to one of the bosses.  He was a kind man in his late 30s.  I told him that I would likely have to quit because we had lost our apartment and had no place to stay.  He was sorry to hear the news, but thanked me for telling him.  I left his office to begin work.  I was angry inside because W had allowed this to happen and had never even told me.

The Real Pitch

Later that afternoon, the boss I had spoken to called W and I into his office.  He had spoken with his two partners, who agreed that we could pitch a tent on the factory’s property, wash up in the mornings when they came in to work (they came in an hour before all the employees) and get breakfast from the catering truck, until we found a place.  The boss I had spoken with even offered us a tent to stay in, if we did not have one.  We took them up on their offer and I was grateful.

It took longer to find a place than anticipated because W was spending his paycheck as fast as he was getting it, on weed, booze and lottery tickets.  My money was going on laundry, bus fare to/from the Laundromat and food for weekends.  The factory was closed and there was no catering truck on the weekends.  It was difficult when it rained out, as the dampness would get to the bones. 

My jeans were getting old fast in the machine shop and I needed new ones, but I was also trying to put money aside for a place to live.  I was beginning to feel like a working ragamuffin and W was showing interest in two of the girls at work, who were quite attractive.  Even when my jeans were clean, they looked dirty and my jacket was getting tattered also.  My hair needed styling also.  

One time when I was walking from the store, back to the tent at work, a car of young guys drove by.  Their windows were rolled down.  One guy made a gagging noise, whilst another yelled out, ‘You’re such an ugly b** that even my dog would run from you!’   I could feel the blushing heat cover my body, as any pride crashed to the ground.  I could hear laughter up the road, as they whooped and hollered as the car got further away.

Five weeks passed and fall was rolling around.  Nights were turning cold and we only had two old blankets, which were not very thick.  We rolled up clothing for pillows and were having to wear jackets at nighttime just to keep warm.  One more paycheck and we could move into an apartment, which was only a 15 minute walk up the road from us.  The landlord and his wife were East Indian and seemed very nice.  They took a small deposit and agreed to hold the place for another week, until our next paycheck.

W told me that *Tommy, the nephew of one of the bosses wanted to move in.  It would help with all of us splitting on the rent and the place was a two bedroom.  It was about that time that Brandy, one of the attractive young women (2 years younger than me) told me during lunch hour that W kept making passes at her.  He had also tried to arrange for her to meet him at a bar that was a few miles up on the highway, but she had declined.  She had once been 300 pounds and she had brought pictures to prove it.  Now she was 129 pounds and as pretty as pretty could be.  I liked Brandy.  She tried to warn me about W, but I had hope in him. He was my first serious relationship.  Who else would love me? 

Soaking it Up

I was so happy when we moved that I soaked in a tub for almost an hour.  Tommy and W went out sometimes and I would keep busy cleaning and finding little things to do.  W came back one time, saying that he had landed a job with a world famous company that had begun in the United States.  His work involved building wings, cabin floors and side panels for planes.  His probation period had just ended, but when he was hired, he was warned that any brush with the law would mean his immediate dismissal.  He was confident that he would be staying out of trouble.

One night when he was drunk, he turned Tommy’s stereo up full blast.  Tommy had spent a great deal of money on the system (almost two grand).  As he turned the stereo down (because the landlord lived upstairs), he told W not to touch it and he explained that it had taken him a long time to set up the sound to perfection (there was an incredible amount of buttons, knobs, sliders etc).  W just laughed and went and cranked it back up, in defiance.  Tommy got angry and began swearing at him.  W punched him so hard in the stomach that Tommy, who was caught completely off-guard, fell to his knees as the wind was knocked out of him.

I raised my voice and asked W what was wrong with him, and that Tommy was right, it was his stereo.  He immediately turned and hit me in the stomach exactly as he had hit Tommy.  I too fell automatically to my knees, as all the air left my body.  Tommy recovered, got up and began packing his things.  W went to stop him, but Tommy threatened to call the police and have him charged with assault.  My stomach was hurting and I was crawling to the bed, holding my stomach.  W got a grip on himself, telling Tommy to go ahead and get the f* out.  

The next day, my stomach was still hurting badly, but I went into work.  Tommy must have gone and spoken with his uncle, one of the bosses.  He had slept in his van that night outside the factory.   The boss called me into the office and asked about the night before.  He said Tommy had already told him, but he just wanted to hear my side.  I told him exactly how it all went down.  He said that I confirmed what his nephew had stated.  He proceeded to apologize, stating that it was not fair that I should be punished for W’s actions, but since Tommy was his nephew, he had no choice but to let me go, so that there would be no unnecessary stress in the factory.  There were less than 10 employees, plus the three bosses, so it was a tight-knit company.

My stomach was still feeling raw and I was too weak to argue.  The company had been very good to W and I, so I told the boss that I understood his position and thanked him for all of his kindnesses that he had shown toward us.  I packed my things in my locker and picked up the handwritten cheque that had been made out to me to pay for my hours up to date.  They even threw in a hundred dollar bonus.  We shook hands and I left, after I stopped by Tommy’s work station, apologizing for W’s behavior.  Tommy said it wasn’t my fault and that there was no hard feeling towards me.  I thanked him, went home and fell asleep, holding my stomach.

Things were quiet, but tense at home between W and I.  He blamed me for not trying harder to keep my job, but I said that it was probably the best thing in the long run.  I promised that I would find a job quickly, but it was easier said than done, as it seemed I had hit a brick wall for employment.  One night about two weeks after I lost my job, W went out with a new friend that he had met at a local pool hall.  Despite promising to return, he did not come home that night.  When he returned early in the afternoon, he told me that he had gone over to his friend’s place for a few drinks after they had shot some pool.  

The Last Stop

After several hours, everyone was out of cigarettes, so his friend tossed W the keys and told him to go to the store and grab a few packs of smokes.  W had gotten pulled over and arrested for drinking and driving.  This was his fourth DUI.  He told me that he had lost his new job, which he had only been at for three weeks.  He said he was locked up until his court appearance, where the case was remanded and he was released on his own recognizance.  He reminded me that the interviewer had warned him upon hiring him that if he got in trouble with the law, it would result in immediate dismissal.

When I woke up the next morning, W was just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling.  He said that if he stayed in Ontario, he would end up back in jail, since he was up on his fourth Driving under the Influence (DUI).  W said that he was going out to take off to British Columbia, with or without me.  I mentioned that he would have a bench warrant out for his arrest, if he failed to appear in court.  He stated that the government would not ship him back to Ontario just for a DUI and he refused to go back to jail.  He asked me if I wanted to go out to British Columbia with him.  If not, he was going to move there anyway.

He called work and told them he had been arrested.  He knew that if they dismissed him immediately, as they had said, then they would also have to have his final paycheck ready the same day.  He was told to come by in an hour and a cheque would be waiting for him.  He left immediately to go see take care of something.  When he returned a couple of hours later, he had already picked up his final paycheck and had bought two airplane tickets to British Columbia. 

Westward Bound 

He said his mother was living in BC and would let us stay at her place, until we got a place.  If I did not want to go with him, I could cash in the airplane ticket, but he was going.  He had come back in a taxicab to take him to the airport because the flight he booked was boarding in an hour and a half hour.  We lived 45 minutes from the main airport, depending on traffic.  There was nothing holding me to Ontario, since my parents would have nothing to do with me.  I had to make up my mind quickly because the taxi was waiting.  Confusion and fear filled me. If he left, what would I do?  I would be all alone again and I believed I was in love with him.

I was trying to decide what to take and had barely anything packed. There was no time to go through belongings with the taxi waiting.  I had some pretty dresses, but W was saying that we could not bring much luggage.  Besides, there was no time to pick and chose.  I did not want to lose the only person who had said they loved me in my life.  I grabbed what I could to throw in a bag.  There was no time to fold things neatly.  He took off out the door.  Flabbergasted and rushed, I looked quickly around at the things that were being left.  The place was clean, but our clothing that remained was scattered.  I rushed out to join W in the waiting cab. Two hours later, the plane was taxiing down the runway and we were on our way to BC.  

There was a great heaviness in my heart.  The government had paid for my daughter’s funeral, since we had been on income assistance.  However, a tombstone or grave marker was considered an ‘extra’, which the government would not cover.  This meant that my daughter’s grave was still unmarked.  I also realized that I may not see my parents again for a very long time.  These things weighed my heart down and when the stewardess asked if we would like an alcoholic beverage, we both requested one.   

There was only going to be one stopover in Calgary, which is where my dear friend Isabel lived.  There was something else that was weighing on my heart.  I kept thinking about Jesus, but each time that I thought about Him, I would quickly push the thoughts away.  I knew that Jesus did not want anything to do with me now.  Who could blame Him? Our drinks arrived and we sat back to enjoy the six hour flight.  

 A man's heart devises his way: but the Lord directs his steps.  

[Prov 16:9]

for His glory

BC Petroff        dovesofthevalleys4@gmail.com